T1B

Sometimes the slant kids come up and try to speak English to/with me.
I generally humor them and attempt to have a conversation with them.
Most times we're able to have some dialogue.
It's all good.

But today one kid, maybe a middle-schooler, came up and started yammering something to me.
He kept on - and yet I had no clue what his point was or what he was trying to say.
I patiently waiting for something to click in, but it never did.
So I finally just had to walk away from him.

Then as I walked away, I found myself saying under my breath to myself, "What the fuck are you babbling about, YOU ASS!!"

Then I LOLed when I realized I had just invoked a Shrubber.


Then a few days back there was another one.

Steak is expensive and not that plentiful here.
But wifey and I were walking - and we walked past one place that was offering a 2-for-1 deal on steaks.
The pictures looked good, anyway.
So I found myself saying, "2-for-1? RACK that!"

She was all like, "Huh? What rack?"


I need to step away from here, I think.


Have you had the experience?

Yes...many times we've had the experience where we're left saying "Prophetard should walk away."

I say Rack all the time IRL. I get lots of shit for it. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Someone dropped a Jerry Springer reference the other day and I said "Yeah, Jerry Springer resets are so fresh." I've told people to fall into wood chippers, too.

Yeah, I've noticed myself calling people "twatlips" on occasion too.

I cancelled a doctor's appointment. When my wife called me out on it, my response was, "I have to do my part to keep Jimmy Meds' health insurance premiums down."

I don't think she's figured that one out yet.

Not really much lingo, but I do buttfuck my wife in the mouth. Does that count?

Here's a really clever headline:

http://www.wyff4.com/r/27200800/detail.html

This has nothing to do with T1B lingo, but at least it gives poppy another reply.

poptart wrote:Sometimes the slant kids come up and try to speak English to/with me.

So we were using an antiquated CRM software program about 6 months ago. Trying to get some portions of it to work. I had chat support on the big screen in our conference room. The support was obviously in dothead land, and they were using translation software.

When I realized that all was lost trying to solve our problem, I said watch this I am going to have some fun with them. So I typed in something like " My dog ass fucks blue cows in a fifty seven chevy". A couple of minutes passed and Habib comes back with "I no understand your problem", so I reply " What the fuck is your malfunction goat cheese boy "..that was pretty much the end of it..but good for a couple of laughs.

T1Bisms I've used in real life:

nobody cares

nobody fucking cares

T.R.O.T.S.

get fucked

i'm not reading all that

link?

chuck d resets

Ok, maybe not all originated by T1B, but still part of the fabric of this place.

This thread gets started 2-3 times a year.

It doesn't seem to ever gain comedy momentum. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Martyred wrote:This thread gets started 2-3 times a year.

link?

It doesn't seem to ever gain comedy momentum.

nobody cares

Let sleeping dogs lie.

get fucked

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:T1Bisms I've used in real life:

i'm not reading all that.

Yep, I've used that and I'll add:

myopic homerism - just used it today at work while defending my bracket.

Blonde tittie chick: At least they're not AP.

Douchebag: Yeah.