T1B

I'm in the market for a record player...

Enjoy.

Goober McTuber wrote:Enjoy.

"You crazy kids and your new-fangled digital technology!"

He and the NOJ must be at a Hawkeye retreat...

New love interest.

Mace was run.

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=38143

Dibs on his office space, if he did die.

On second thought, it's in Iowa, isn't it? Forget I said that.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:I'm in the market for a record player...

Not dead yet, MGO, but I'll will you my 8-track player since I no longer own a record player.

I took on a new job this summer as Athletic Director at our local high school and will also be the At Risk Director when school begins this fall, so I haven't had much time to drop in here. Thanks for your concern, you greedy motherfucker.

Mace wrote:Not dead yet,

Goddammit! I ruined these sweatpants for nothing.

Sin,
Kid Nashville.

Mace wrote:I took on a new job this summer as Athletic Director at our local high school and will also be the At Risk Director when school begins this fall

Once a public leech, always a public leech.

It's not like he's collecting welfare, idiot.

He's just another union thug.

IndyFrisco wrote:

Mace wrote:I took on a new job this summer as Athletic Director at our local high school and will also be the At Risk Director when school begins this fall

Once a public leech, always a public leech.

At risk director?

Schools in g0d's country need ARDs?

Is it for thugs or just student athletes in danger of being kicked off the team for grade trouble?

Anyway, rack you on landing a real job again. Sounds like it will be a good fit for a parole officer coach. The added income should be good for an extra sheep or two in the harem.

Screw_Michigan wrote:It's not like he's collecting welfare, idiot.

Mea culpa. Should have used the term tit-sucker rather than leech.

Yes, we're worried about diving up his estate.

Screw_Michigan wrote:Yes, we're worried about diving up his estate.

Is "estate" a euphemism for "colon", sinner?

Colon diving or estate divvying. Tomato, tomahto.

smackaholic wrote:
At risk director?

Schools in g0d's country need ARDs?
Is it for thugs or just student athletes in danger of being kicked off the team for grade trouble?

Probably a little of both. Not too many real "thugs" in the school but the job primarily consists of motivating the underachievers, athletes or not, and sometimes tracking down kids who skip school.

Anyway, rack you on landing a real job again. Sounds like it will be a good fit for a parole officer coach. The added income should be good for an extra sheep or two in the harem.

Yep, I've been eyeballing a couple of young ewes and this job will allow me the means to supplement the harem with some youthful hotties.

Sam,

Sorry to cause you "young guys" any concern. :) I'll likely check in more frequently during the CFB season. Planning a trip over Thanksgiving weekend to Lincoln to see the Hawkeyes ass rape the Huskers on their turf.....at least that's how I've envisioned it. Probably make it to Ames for the Cyclone game as well. Hoping for a good season but there are too many question marks right now.

....still hustlin'

Hey Mace. Have you heard from your buddy JON? He hasn't shown his face around here ever since his $20K offshore account went tits up. But I'm sure he'll say he withdrew it just in time and doubled it up at the local casino.

No, MGO, I haven't heard anything from my "buddy" theJON...not that I've been looking for him....but I'm sure he'll show up here if Iowa wins a few games this year. That's assuming he hasn't lost everything due to the online gambling fiasco and still owns a computer.

Indy,

At least you'll be happy to know that my two jobs at the school come with no benefits. Well, not until I organize a few union rallies and threaten to burn down the homes of the school board members. I'm thinking a visit or two from the union thugs will make them see the light and cut loose with some more tax dollars.

ChargerMike,

That ewe would look a lot sexier in some Daisy Dukes and cowboy boots but I guess that guy is already past the foreplay.

ChargerMike,

That ewe would look a lot sexier in some Daisy Dukes and cowboy boots but I guess that guy is already past the foreplay.

...yes from the grin on his mug, I'd say he's well into it...errr her.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Hey Mace. Have you heard from your buddy JON? He hasn't shown his face around here ever since his $20K offshore account went tits up. But I'm sure he'll say he withdrew it just in time and doubled it up at the local casino.

Actually, I have received some of my money.

I have, or should say "had", 2 accounts (1 on Full Tilt and the other on PokerStars).

PokerStars paid out their players a couple of months ago. Actually, the US Government set something up so they could. Even though online poker is (for no good reason whatsoever) "illegal" in the US, the backlash Congress would have taken for not allowing us to get our money would have been massive. For many people, that was their livelihood. There are probably 50,000 people in the US that used poker as their only means of income. Thousands of people had hundreds of thousands of dollars OR MORE in their accounts. Imagine being screwed out of that kind of money. The money I had in my account(s) is pennies compared to a lot of them.

Now, as for my Full Tilt account, I haven't received a penny. Nor has anyone. Yet. They will eventually. Phil Ivey, the greatest poker player of all-time (in my opinion), actually sat out the WSOP because of this. He is an FTP pro. Since FTP hasn't paid us out yet, he's boycotting anything associated with the site. The problem has been the UK market has also been 86'ed from FTP because of some illegal crap they did within the UK as well. I don't know the details, I just had someone at the poker table that smelled like balls telling me this. It was hard to listen to him because his stench was making me nauceous.

I'm not really that worried about my FTP money. I had something like $1,500 in there on "Black Friday". I had switched more over to PStars at that point because I liked their tournaments better.

There are hundreds of other poker sites out there still accepting US players, but they all suck and don't have a lot of traffic. You actually have to wait for a game, which is lame. I did sign up for some site called Lock Poker a few months back. It was brutal. I deposited $200, got frustrated with the lack of games going, so I just fucked around and blew the money. The only reputable sites are PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker (and MAYBE Ultimate Bet/Absolute Poker). Those all got shut down.

I just play in casinos now. Have gone to Vegas 3 times. I actually played in the World Series of Poker. Played in 2 events (not the main event.... I had 2 weddings in mid-July so I couldn't). WSOP is a shit ton of fun. Need luck to be on your side, that's for sure. I had a chance to go far in one of the events, but Phil Helmuth sucked out on me in a huge pot. I was pretty much crippled at that point. Didn't even finish in the cash. It's funny seeing him whine about being sucked out on so much on TV. I made a comment about that to him after the hand. He just shrugged it off. It always amazes me the jackasses that cry about getting unlucky in a hand and then forget about all the times they got incredibly lucky. Was still a cool experience.

Also played at some shit casino in Norman, Oklahoma on my way down to Dallas. Worst. Poker. Players. Ever. I was freerolling that entire trip because of 3 hours of poker there! It might be worth it to drive 8 hours weekly to go clean house at that casino (can't recall the name...was pretty big and had a hotel, maybe 2 miles from the football stadium). Nothing like coming home with MORE money than you left with on vacation! Thank you donks at the whatever-the-name-of-the-casino-in-Norman-is!

And then there's Kansas City. God bless that city. God bless the people that live there. Kansas Citians are the absolute WORST poker players in the world. I've played poker in KC probably 50+ times and I think I've lost there maybe a handful of times. It shouldn't even be legal for me to play poker in that city. Talk about an unfair advantage. The hillbilly Missourians love 2 things - fucking their cousins and giving me money. And then there's the junkies from Methdependence that come in all tweaked out of their minds just looking to give money away. Plus, there are tons of idiot tourists from Oklahoma/Kansas/etc that take a weekend "vacation" to KC and don't give 2 shits about blowing through wads of cash. I heart them.

Oh, and never stake an idiot thinking you can teach them how to play poker. I staked a buddy a decent amount of coin thinking I could make some money off of him. He has been playing for a few years. I gave him some poker tutoring basically before I did since he was not a winning player. He has apparently not taken any of my advice and has donked away the entire bankroll I gave him. Brilliant investment that was!

he's baaack.

TheJON wrote:Kansas Citians are the absolute WORST poker players in the world.

You weren't playing against my daughter, sucker.

She'd take every last chip in your stack and then shake you down for the coins in your pockets. She'd leave you with no gas money and you'd be thumbing it back to Des Moines. I love it when some dipshit from Iowa thinks he's hot shit around a KC poker table and leaves crying for mommy.

War Wagon wrote:he's baaack.

TheJON wrote:Kansas Citians are the absolute WORST poker players in the world.

You weren't playing against my daughter, sucker.

She'd take every last chip in your stack and then shake you down for the coins in your pockets. She'd leave you with no gas money and you'd be thumbing it back to Des Moines. I love it when some dipshit from Iowa thinks he's hot shit around a KC poker table and leaves crying for mommy.

I make more in a month playing cards than you make in a year from your job. And that ain't no joke, bud.

Oh, and your daughter couldn't afford to sit down at a table at the levels I play. She's related to you, so there's no way she has the intellectual ability to earn that kind of money. And she sure as fuck ain't getting the money from her labor working daddy. What are you up to now, Wags? $11.75/hour???

Sure thing noJ, you were only 5 hands away from being at the final table at the WSOP, right?

War Wagon wrote:Sure thing noJ, you were only 5 hands away from being at the final table at the WSOP, right?

More like potentially 1 hand. But, for you, that's some pretty decent smack.

TheJON wrote: Imagine being screwed out of that kind of money.

But but but ...I thought the all-knowing JON said nothing would happen to these sites, and how they were legit because thousands of people played?

TheJON wrote:FTP isn't gonna go bust. Are you insane? They've been around for 10 years and make MILLIONS of dollars.

How'd all that dumbfuckery and arrogance work out for you?

Speaking of poker, Wags....

Brad Madison plays at our local casino every now and again. His dad works up in Des Moines, so when he goes up there to visit, he plays cards. He's a horrible poker player but a very nice guy.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:

TheJON wrote: Imagine being screwed out of that kind of money.

But but but ...I thought the all-knowing JON said nothing would happen to these sites, and how they were legit because thousands of people played?

TheJON wrote:FTP isn't gonna go bust. Are you insane? They've been around for 10 years and make MILLIONS of dollars.

How'd all that dumbfuckery and arrogance work out for you?

Mgo,

That's not what happened to these sites. They got caught laundering millions of dollars into the United States. Had nothing to do with them going bust.

And, like I said, I got my money from PokerStars a few weeks later following "Black Friday". I will eventually get my money from FTP also. The sites didn't go "bust". They are actually still up and running.... just not for American players.

I know they didn't go "bust," but they got fucked in the ass. And anyone with an IQ higher than a ham sandwich knew not to invest any serious amount of money into them.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:I know they didn't go "bust," but they got fucked in the ass. And anyone with an IQ higher than a ham sandwich knew not to invest any serious amount of money into them.

Explain yourself....

I told you I, and everyone else, got our money off PStars. Ultimate Bet/Absolute Poker has paid their players. FTP will pay out eventually once they get everything figured out.

And, just so you know.... successful poker players are VERY intelligent. They may mostly be degenerates, but idiots CANNOT win at poker. So you might want to re-think your "IQ higher than a ham sandwich" comment. I don't know a ton of idiots that are great at math and have good instincts, do you???

TheJON wrote:Explain yourself....

What do you need explained? Illegal, offshore gambling accounts are not a wise and secure place to keep thousands of dollars. There were people in your "Fuck the U.S. Gov't" thread that forewarned you about something happening, and you shrugged it off.

I don't know a ton of idiots that are great at math and have good instincts, do you???

We'll call it a lack of common sense, then.

TheJON wrote:I just had someone at the poker table that smelled like balls

A scent you're obviously familiar with.

You realize these sites have been around since about 1999 or 2000, right? They have hundreds of thousands of players worldwide. They've had an impeccable record.

Who cares if it is illegal? Do you even know WHY it's illegal? Because legalizing online poker would hurt our local casinos, according to the US Government. No it wouldn't. Our government is run by a bunch of idiots. Here's the thing.... if you wanted to play poker online - you did. If you wanted to play poker in a casino - you did. Since "Black Friday" my local casino has not seen an increase in number of players. That's all you need to know. Everyone played online that wanted to, legal or not.

With that said, it still didn't matter. The US Government was NEVER going to actually crackdown on us for playing online. I have received checks from different poker sites MANY times. It was pretty much a weekly paycheck at one point.

When you deposited money into these sites, your money WAS secure. As secure as taking it to a bank. That's what you're not understanding. I know TONS of online poker players and I played online. I don't know one single person that EVER had problems with their money in the online accounts. Not one.

I've only played online since 2007 or so I think. And I have never played full-time online. But I've never worried about the funds in my account. These sites make BILLIONS. They've got more in reserves than some major corporations are worth.

As for your typical online casinos...I don't know how secure those are. Nor do I care. Because the only gambling I do is poker.

Nobody forewarned me in that thread about anything related to what happened. The arguments were about how the money is not secure and you cannot trust the sites. My money WAS secure. Players have been paid out all of their money (except for FTP, but they eventually will). I got every penny from my account.

The sites got shutdown, I got my money, I move on. Tell me exactly how I lost out in this? I lost nothing other than the ability to play cards online. Whoopty-doo.

TheJON wrote:Tell me exactly how I lost out in this? I lost nothing other than the ability to play cards online. Whoopty-doo.

You'll find something else to lie about. No biggie.