First 8th Grade Football Game of the Season Rant

[Atomic Punk]

88, I hope you know I was just giving you shit the other day due to boredom and drinking straight vodka, Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, and whatever else you could think of. I use to go to coaching clinics and one JC around here came up with a simple solution.

You assemble a PVC pipe that stands like a saw horse and cap one end, drill opposing holes along the length wide enough to where you can have 8 players on each side, and have a valve to hook a hose into the front of it. You leave the water source on and during breaks you open the valve on the water horse looking thing and and the kids get plenty of water in a manner of about 2 minutes. One of the JC coaches built one for my team and it saved practice time and from me being stressed about kids dropping in our normal 100 degree heat we typically get for 2 months every year.

[Screw_Michigan]

If we get to read one of these balsts every week, then RACK that coach!

[trev]

$70 for water?

[The Seer]

If we get to read one of these balsts every week, then RACK that coach!

88's best post ever was a few years ago when he emoted about how important college football was in relation to all things living or some such....should be posted every year around this time....

[poptart]

There is no running water at the field and no shade of any kind anywhere

Within a couple of plays, some of our kids were cramping up on the field after every play

A lot of character was built today.

And so long as none of the fat kids died, all is well.

You'll need that beef up front as you navigate the rest of your schedule.


Rack your coaching and RACK... just winning, baby!

[poptart]

They would have lost the game without that water run.
It was probably the most gripping part of the story.

Yeah, he got hosed.
That's called taking one for the team, trev.

I'd like to think we'd all do that if we were in his shoes.

[Y2K]

This sitting on the sidelines is gonna be rough on 88 this year.

Cue Fred Sanford and "This is the big one" if his kids team loses a game.

[Atomic Punk]

And, at the risk of starting another one... AP, did you see the sentence in my post about there being no running water at that field? What would a PVC pipe that needs to be connected to a water source have been good for there?

I admit that my answer is "No" as your rant is close to being a scroll wheel killer to be honest.

So the kids play on astro turf? If not how does the grass grow?

[Goober McTuber]

At halftime, I raced out of the stands and drove to the nearest convenience store in BFE (Bum Fuck Egypt) and paid $70.68 for 48 1-liter bottles of water. I then humped that shit back across the 1,000 yards of soccer fields and shit to the sidelines

48 1-liter bottles of water? Wouldn't that weigh about 120 lbs?

[indyfrisco]

Jesus fucking Christ.

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 03:01 am

Enough said...

88,

Good read. I only wish you hadn't started it with the ending.

[jiminphilly]

The conversion failed (fumbled snap) and the good guys lead 6-2..

swoon

- Bill Belichick

[Goober McTuber]

At halftime, I raced out of the stands and drove to the nearest convenience store in BFE (Bum Fuck Egypt) and paid $70.68 for 48 1-liter bottles of water. I then humped that shit back across the 1,000 yards of soccer fields and shit to the sidelines

48 1-liter bottles of water? Wouldn't that weigh about 120 lbs?

I don't know. It felt like 400 lbs. Maybe they were smaller than 1-liter. Honestly, I didn't check closely because I was in a hurry. They were the bigger-sized water bottles you find packaged in grocery stores in 24-packs, which I assumed are 1 liter in size.

My guess would be 16 oz bottles if they’re 24-packs, which should still put you in the 60 lb range. Plenty to lug over a half a mile and a bit unwieldy to boot. I spent part of my youth in Circleville, which had a strong football program at the time. I loved Ohio high school football. Wisconsin just doesn’t quite compare.

[Imus]

My guess would be 16 oz bottles

How does the diameter of those bottles compare to the anus dimension of your old ass orgy buddy 'shutyomouth?

[Imus]

And, at the risk of starting another one... AP, did you see the sentence in my post about there being no running water at that field? What would a PVC pipe that needs to be connected to a water source have been good for there?

I admit that my answer is "No" as your rant is close to being a scroll wheel killer to be honest.

So the kids play on astro turf? If not how does the grass grow?

It grows very well as 88 just spreads all your bullshit over it.

[Goober McTuber]

My guess would be 16 oz bottles

How does the diameter of those bottles compare to the anus dimension of your old ass orgy buddy 'shutyomouth?

Is it true you’re SG’s butter-face sister?

[Mikey]

And, at the risk of starting another one... AP, did you see the sentence in my post about there being no running water at that field? What would a PVC pipe that needs to be connected to a water source have been good for there?

All you need is one of these:



Once you've found the right spot you just jam a sharpened piece of 1/2" into the ground and you should end up with a geyser.

[Goober McTuber]

I spent part of my youth in Circleville, which had a strong football program at the time.

Dude, how old are you? I'm thinking that if you were a running back I might have tackled your ass back in the day. We played Circleville every year. And yes, they had a much stronger football program than our school (we were 8-21-1 during my three years of varsity football, including three losses to Circleville, Washington CH and Miami Trace each).

I didn't play football at Circleville, I left in the middle of my sophomore year when we moved to Wisconsin (1968). I played football junior and senior years in high school ('sup knee replacemnt last October). I graduated high school in 1970.

8-21-1? What the hell? Did you go to Bloom-Carroll?

[Imus]

My guess would be 16 oz bottles

How does the diameter of those bottles compare to the anus dimension of your old ass orgy buddy 'shutyomouth?

Is it true you’re SG’s butter-face sister?

Fuck you

Left to right: Goober, Papa Willey

[Goober McTuber]

Is it true you’re SG’s butter-face sister?

Fuck you

I hope that's not a request.

[Cornhusker]

The story begs the question:
"How many tats does your star player have and who flipped the bill?"

[Atomic Punk]

Jesus fucking Christ.

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 03:01 am

Enough said...

You are without a doubt the biggest crybaby bitch on this board. There is no close second to you.

88, the reason I asked if the field is grass because we had those plug-in access points next to the field. Those "thingies" have hose attachments.

[The Seer]

I graduated high school (link?) in 1970.

Hey, you're older than I am; start looking for all kinds of respect towards you in future posts!

Post 4K tainted with sarcasm....

[Goober McTuber]

I didn't play football at Circleville, I left in the middle of my sophomore year when we moved to Wisconsin (1968). I played football junior and senior years in high school ('sup knee replacemnt last October). I graduated high school in 1970.

8-21-1? What the hell? Did you go to Bloom-Carroll?

Dude, you are older than dirt me. You left Circleville about the time my parents packed their shit up and moved to Ohio from Texas. I graduated from HS 13 years later than you. My high school was the biggest school due south.

Still in Pickaway County?

[Mace]

Well, 88, it sounds like your coach is a fucking idiot for not thinking to pack water or gatorade for the game, but the officials should have been calling timeouts for water breaks, as well. I have no idea if Ohio plays under National Federation rules, but those rules strongly recommend water breaks during a game. Of course a first half water break wouldn't have helped your team since your coach didn't bring any water.