T1B

About an hour and a half ago, I headed off to work. About a mile up the road I am rolling along about 30 mph. Out of the corner of my eye I see a deer. Cool, I thought to myself.

About a millisecond later that fucker is stuffing in my radiator and I get to find out what airbag propellant smells like. It fukking smells like shit.

I at least had the satisfaction of watching that white tailed rat barrel roll into the ditch on the other side of the road.

So, I hop out of the truck, fukking horn blasting away. Fukk me. Grill was pretty much toast. hood pushed back a bit. Radiator pushed back to the fan. Crap.

Funny part was some dude pulls up 2 minutes later and hops out of his truck, in full camo. I look at him, chuckle and say "looks like you're goin' hunting too" He was. We waqlk back to check out bambi in the ditch. Little 4 pointer. He was still moving. I asked if he wanted to go ahead and punch him out. He said it was illegal. have to call the cops first. Said he would if it was after sun up.

After about 5 minutes the horn figured it had enough and quit. Drove home, called work. Told supervisor that I wasn't gonna be in. Told him I wasn't sick, but that fukking deer was.

Roach wrote:Too bad you didn't have time to see that 'deer in the head lights' look, you know, like bradhusker has when he posts.

Glad you are ok, some times that kind of shit hurts people.

Glad I'm OK, too. Deer rarely harm drivers in this situation, unless you are on a motorcycle. A little further north where there are moose, it's a different story. That type of an altercation would have put me in the hospital or maybe the morgue. Those fukks are so long legged, the grill just takes their legs out and you end up with half a ton of moose coming through the windshield.

Wifey hit one a few months ago, her 2nd. Didn't total the car this time luckily but still crunched the hood up pretty good and busted out a headlight. We had just paid that car off a few weeks before, a 2004 Grand Am, and had taken full coverage insurance off it. :brad:

Fucking vermin are rampant around here, especially now they're going into rut. Rifle season isn't far off. Not a day goes bye I don't see one or more either standing by the road waiting to get hit or the aftermath, blood and guts spattered everywhere.

and a warning to our favorite holiday trolls that will be around all too soon...I kinda liked hitting that fukker, listening to his ribs cracked. So, don't fukk with me, or you might get a nice heaping helping of ford ranger grill, like your brother.

I deal with this everyday I drive to work during the rut. My commute is 75 miles one way and its mostly rural areas on a single lane highway. I see deer in bunches all eating some grass just a few feet away from the asphalt. I've already seen five dead deer on the shoulder this year and we're only three weeks into bow season down here. My commuter car is a 2008 Ford Focus, so the chances of a deer flying through my windshield one day are pretty good. The Mrs. is supposed to give me some better headlights for Christmas. Hopefully, that will help decrease the chances of being met with a face full of deer.

Glad you're okay, 'aholic.

Get deer whistles. Mount them behind the grille if possibly, then they won't break off so easily.

You're welcome (and I can't believe people don't know this).

i do know about the whistles. don't know how effective they are, but, i sure as hell am going to get some. beats having to rebuild the front of your sled.

Dinsdale wrote:Get deer whistles. Mount them behind the grille if possibly, then they won't break off so easily.

You're welcome (and I can't believe people don't know this).

Then you should also know that deer whistles are most effective with a maximum amount of air being forced thru them, ergo, mounting them behind the cowling isn't such a good idea.

War Wagon wrote:

Dinsdale wrote:Get deer whistles. Mount them behind the grille if possibly, then they won't break off so easily.

You're welcome (and I can't believe people don't know this).

Then you should also know that deer whistles are most effective with a maximum amount of air being forced thru them, ergo, mounting them behind the cowling isn't such a good idea.

Agreed. Kinda why I didn't say "cowling."

I'm half-tempted to say "BODE!" and "I clowned you!"

smackaholic wrote:and a warning to our favorite holiday trolls that will be around all too soon...I kinda liked hitting that fukker, listening to his ribs cracked. So, don't fukk with me, or you might get a nice heaping helping of ford ranger grill, like your brother.

yeah, but they are trolls and you are a tard. kinda like a rut. or rumplewife at dim sum.

I thought deer whistles had this high frequency sound that only deer and tards like dinsdale could hear and the rest of us couldn't? Then again, I don't live in the middle of fucking nowhere, I live in the middle of the most powerful city in the world, so what would I know.

Screw_Michigan wrote:...I live in the middle of the most powerful city in the world,

Where would that be?

I don't know. What the fuck is this?

Martyred wrote:

Screw_Michigan wrote:...I live in the middle of the most powerful city in the world,

Where would that be?

Probably Manasses, VA and he commutes on a scooter to his jizz mopper night and day job.

War Wagon wrote: Probably Manasses, VA

It's Manassas with an A and don't you forget it, faggot. I believe Steven Stills wrote an album about Manassas. The day I ever relocate to PW County (Sup Tom?) will be the day I move out of the Washington metropolitan area.

I knew that'd get your attention, Screwey.

We've got a pretty good customer there, Virginia Contractors Supply. If the jizzmopping gig doesn't work out, I might could put in a good word for you.

I know it's gonna pain you to hear this, Whitey, but your work is beneath me. Yes, I just said that. God bless your life and your career, but I'll stick to jizzmopping and fighting off the laundry room tard family.

Screw_Michigan wrote:I don't know. What the fuck is this?

It's your sister, after I lodged my cock in her esophagus, you coprophagous dog molester.

A few years back, on my way home from night court, I saw a deer in the road. I tried to brake hard so I wouldn't hit it, but I had been driving 55 before that and by the time I saw it, it was too late to stop before hitting the deer. Anyway, as we all know, when you brake hard, your front end dips, and the deer ended up right on top of my hood. Then, when I took my foot off the brake, the front end lifted up, and like a catapault, it threw the deer about 100 feet in front of my car. Wildest thing I ever saw in my life. The deer landed, sat there stunned for a minute or so, then ran off (possibly to die).

Go Coogs' wrote:The Mrs. is supposed to give me some better headlights for Christmas.

The Mrs. already has a fine seat of headlights herself.

No deer here but we have loads of rabbits that like to play chicken on our street. They don't damage the grille or hood at all but sometimes you get fur stuck in the tire tread.

Near Princeton the rural roads are really narrow and I was told a lot of people get in accidents trying to avoid deer since where the shoulder should be there are trees instead. Never saw a deer.

I remember buying a brand new truck when I was home on leave prior to reporting to NAS Moffett Field. So I wanted to see how fast it was on a local country road. So, I was at a stop and hammered the gas pedal and as I was passing 65 mph, I saw a German Shepard out of my periphery running across the road and I didn't even have time to hit the brakes.

I heard a noise then stopped and looked all over for the dog. I saw fur in my bumper and that rubber piece attached to the bumper but couldn't find the dog. After awhile I found that dog about 100 yardsout front and to the side he was running.

I saw the hovels the Mexican inhabitants live in and knocked on the door and told them what happened and apologized for hitting their dog. I took him to the site and that dog's muzzle was grotesquely altered but there was no blood. The Mexican said it wasn't his dog but he has seen it around here sometimes. Then he said he'll take care of it. Dog tacos!

A few years later I was doing night instrument approaches at a local San Diego airport for my FAA civilian side of aviation's currency. Right when I was in the flair there was a coyote right in the middle of the runway where I was landing and had to go around quickly. I think it was at Carlsbad.