T1B

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 1:02 am**

Dude on the right bought the farm. Dude on the left will have to take matters into his own hands for the time being.

PIERRE PART, La. (AP) — A cast member of the reality TV show "Swamp People" died Monday, a Louisiana sheriff said.

Assumption Parish Sheriff Mike Waguespack said Mitchell Guist was pronounced dead at a hospital. He had fallen while aboard his boat on the Intracoastal Waterway, near Pierre Part.

History, which produces the reality show with Original Media, said Guist would have turned 49 on Friday.

"We are extremely saddened to report that our friend and beloved member of the Swamp People family, Mitchell Guist, has passed away. ... Mitchell passed on the swamp, doing what he loved. We appreciate your respect for the Guist family's privacy and hope you join us in sending our thoughts and prayers to his brother, Glenn, and the rest of the Guist family," the network said in a statement.

Initial reports from deputies in neighboring St. Martin Parish are that Guist was traveling on the waterway around 9 a.m. when he fell, Waguespack said. The boat returned to a nearby landing in St. Martin and Guist was taken to a hospital. The cause of his fall is unclear, and there is no word yet on the official cause of death.

WAFB-TV reports 911 tapes were released later Monday, revealing the lengths people in the Belle River community went to try and revive Guist. Witnesses called the emergency response number and asked for ambulances or a helicopter.

"You say he's in cardiac arrest?" the dispatcher said on the call.

"Yes sir, we're blowing and pumping the guy's chest right now," the caller said. "It looks like he may have had a heart attack."

"Swamp People," on the History cable television channel, features residents of Louisiana's Atchafalaya swamp country during alligator hunting season.

P.S. This will raise the collective IQ of America almost as much as if suckaholic had kicked.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 1:23 am**

Goober McTuber wrote:

Meh...

Everything they did after Eliminator was formulaic anyways.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 1:31 am**

Martyred wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
Meh...

Everything they did after Eliminator was formulaic anyways.

Fuck it. I laughed.

Anyway, how was that guy only 49? I'm practically the same age, and he looks like he could be my grandfather.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 1:59 am**

Van wrote: Anyway, how was that guy only 49?

The clue is in the title of the program he graced.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 2:00 am**

People age differently.

I'm 13 years older than Greg Oden if you need a frame of reference.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 2:13 am**

Gotta be honest, it used to be a burden.

Think about being 21 and trying to hook up with other 21 year olds. Now think about hot 21 year old chicks. Would they want to fuck some guy who is 21, but looks like Justin Beiber 3 years ago without having the advantage of actually being famous?

Sure is much better for me now than it was then. :bode:

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 2:51 am**

Except now you're married, so it's utterly worthless. You're like an off-the-charts diabetic with an all-you-can-eat giftcard to your favorite decadent restaurant.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 3:06 am**

I'm getting as many random pieces of ass now as I was then. My current vantage point is much better.

Not banging toned twenty somethings* knowing I could is much better than not banging toned twenty somethings* while trying.

*my wife is 30

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 10:04 am**

Papa Willie wrote:
KC Scott wrote:49? Really?

I thought those two goobs were Goobs age at least

No fucking WAY that guy was 49. 59 or 69 - yeah - but not 49.

I was thinking more like 89 than 49, at least from the looks of him.

Come to think of it, Spray, I could probably say the same thing about you.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 11:32 am**

R-Jack wrote:Gotta be honest, it used to be a burden.

Think about being 21 and trying to hook up with other 21 year olds. Now think about hot 21 year old chicks. Would they want to fuck some guy who is 21, but looks like Justin Beiber 3 years ago without having the advantage of actually being famous?

Sure is much better for me now than it was then.

Story of my life. Just about everybody in my HS graduating class has some gray hair gracing their dome. Except me. Because I'm awesome like that.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 11:53 am**

R-Jack wrote:Gotta be honest, it used to be a burden.

Think about being 21 and trying to hook up with other 21 year olds. Now think about hot 21 year old chicks. Would they want to fuck some guy who is 21, but looks like Justin Beiber 3 years ago without having the advantage of actually being famous?

You could still pass for Justin Bieber's younger brother. Sayin'.

As for me, I'm aging at a rate faster than you, but slower than shutyomouth, Smackie Chan, Greg Oden or that Swamp People dude. That works for me.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 3:12 pm**

I'm bald now. Just wanted to throw that out there.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 4:19 pm**

Anyone who has watched that pair on the show knows dudes were smoking large quantities of something. They're pertty much a grown up cajun beavis and butthead. Glen's gonna need to get a new sidekick. I think Sam should audition.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 4:47 pm**

Sudden Sam wrote:
smackaholic wrote:Anyone who has watched that pair on the show knows dudes were smoking large quantities of something. They're pertty much a grown up cajun beavis and butthead. Glen's gonna need to get a new sidekick. I think Sam should audition.
I don't smoke.

Nor do I care to hang around swamps.

I suggest Luther audition.

Maybe Mace?

Luther and Mace aren't local. Prolly couldn't pull it off. You may not be in the swamp, but, you're pretty much next to it.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 5:31 pm**

The Guist brothers live about 15 miles from my house. But I brush my teeth and take an occasional shower, if that counts for anything.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 6:10 pm**

Papa Willie wrote:Dude - since I've shaved my head, everybody tells me I look a lot younger. White shit on your cranial area never does you much good when it comes to age theories.

Yeah, and 150 lbs of extra blubber around your waist never does you much good when it comes to longevity theories. Mix in a salad or three, fatso.

BTW, I have a thick, luxurious head of hair that looks best when shot with black and white film.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 7:17 pm**

Papa Willie wrote:You're about 90, you're bald, you're fatter than I am, and you've no penis.

0 for 4. Nice work.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 7:27 pm**

Goober McTuber wrote:BTW, I have a thick, luxurious head of hair that looks best when shot with black and white film.

it's because you are used to seeing B&W pics. I am sure 97% of yours are B&W. I'll bet your baby pics are deguerrotypes, or maybe just cave drawings.

Posted: **Tue May 15, 2012 7:31 pm**

smackaholic wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:BTW, I have a thick, luxurious head of hair that looks best when shot with black and white film.
it's because you are used to seeing B&W pics. I am sure 97% of yours are B&W. I'll bet your baby pics are deguerrotypes, or maybe just cave drawings.

Yes, and when you get to be my age in another 10 years, you’ll still be a fucking moron.

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 4:58 pm**

I wonder if that freakishly swollen left hand had anything to do with his demise?

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 5:33 pm**

Papa Willie wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
Papa Willie wrote:You're about 90, you're bald, you're fatter than I am, and you've no penis.
0 for 4. Nice work.

Prove me wrong.

You want a picture of my penis, you sick fuck?

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 5:36 pm**

smackaholic wrote:

I wonder if that freakishly swollen left hand had anything to do with his demise?

This makes no sense.

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 6:25 pm**

Papa Willie wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
You want a picture of my penis, you sick fuck?

No. It's time you showed yourself (clothed, faggot). If you don't, we can automatically assume that you are just as I described. :grin:

So you’re out fishing for photos of other men? You may picture me however you wish, Nancy, as you franticly search for your G spot.

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 6:32 pm**

We'll just assume for now that this is Goober.

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/health/m ... ng-cut-all

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 6:37 pm**

Little bit young for Goober. Maybe his great-grandson.

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 6:38 pm**

smackaholic wrote:

I wonder if that freakishly swollen left hand had anything to do with his demise?

I think dude on the left there has some eyeball issues that may complicate things a bit too..

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 7:46 pm**

BSmack wrote:We'll just assume for now that this is Goober.

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/health/m ... ng-cut-all

Pretty funny coming from a confirmed Fat Little Fuck. Of course in your case we could examine an actual photo.

That story's gotten a bit of local play. Quite hilarious.

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 7:46 pm**

Goober McTuber wrote:
smackaholic wrote:

I wonder if that freakishly swollen left hand had anything to do with his demise?
This makes no sense.

Senility is a motherfukker. Sure hope I check out before it gets me too.

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 7:50 pm**

Goober McTuber wrote:
BSmack wrote:We'll just assume for now that this is Goober.

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/health/m ... ng-cut-all
Pretty funny coming from a confirmed Fat Little Fuck. Of course in your case we could examine an actual photo.

That story's gotten a bit of local play. Quite hilarious.

Reminds me of that fat fukk comedian's skit. "You been here 3 hour. YOU GO NOW!!!!!!! You eat like killer whale!!!!!"

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 7:54 pm**

smackaholic wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
smackaholic wrote:

I wonder if that freakishly swollen left hand had anything to do with his demise?
This makes no sense.
Senility is a motherfukker. Sure hope I check out before it gets me too.

It's just that Mitchell's left hand doesn't look at all swollen, though Glenn's right hand does. You want to try again, you fucking moron?

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 8:03 pm**

Goober McTuber wrote:Of course in your case we could examine an actual photo.

And in your case you're too scared to post your photo. So we'll just have to assume you are really butt fucking ugly.

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 8:09 pm**

BSmack wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:Of course in your case we could examine an actual photo.
And in your case you're too scared to post your photo. So we'll just have to assume you are really butt fucking ugly.

You're free to assume anything you wish. That you are a Fat Little Fuck is a confirmed fact.

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 8:39 pm**

Papa Willie wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
You want a picture of my penis, you sick fuck?

No. It's time you showed yourself (clothed, faggot). If you don't, we can automatically assume that you are just as I described. :grin:

What is this "we" shit? You're the only one in here begging for pics of another dude.

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 9:33 pm**

I've posted my pic on this board. I've also done so in chat after a few too many, as did several others. Try again, Tubster.

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 9:43 pm**

Goober McTuber wrote:
BSmack wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:Of course in your case we could examine an actual photo.
And in your case you're too scared to post your photo. So we'll just have to assume you are really butt fucking ugly.
You're free to assume anything you wish. That you are a Fat Little Fuck is a confirmed fact.

Discontent among the resident liberals, right on ...I thought you libs were all supposed to like each other and be tolerant and all that shit..?

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 9:45 pm**

Papa Willie wrote:Just sorry to see that this is really eating into your shit-hole. :(

No...I'M sorry. When did I become such a bigot? Sheesh. I need a reality check. If you want to chase other dudes around, beg for pics, talk and think about cocks and assholes 24/7 that's your right god DAMNIT... who am I to judge? That's what our troops are fighting for! Our rights and freedoms!

God bless America.
God bless the troops.

I'm sorry, Spray. :(

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2012 10:00 pm**

It's a free country, Spray. I accept you people.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2012 1:37 am**

Goober McTuber wrote:It's just that Mitchell's left hand doesn't look at all swollen, though Glenn's right hand does. You want to try again, you fucking moron?

Of course it's not swollen. It's obvious to anyone with even a hint of intelligence that I was commenting on the camera position which makes one hand look 50X bigger than the other. I suspect you probably did get that, but calling me a moron every last chance you get seems to be pretty high on your to do list.

Whatever. If it makes an old ankle biting coot happy, I'll play along.

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2012 2:06 am**

In fairness, it's difficult to tell when you're making an incredibly lame joke and when you really are just that stupid. I guess in this case it was the former.

"I'll bet he died from a swollen hand! Get it? Cuz the camera makes his hand look huge. HA!"

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2012 2:08 am**

Spray has the same affliction.

T1B

Swamp People "star" is "History".

Swamp People "star" is "History".

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