T1B

Evaluate these annoying dickheads.

W.igger Douche

Appearance: Short pants or long shorts? I can't tell. The pencil-thin beard and flat-brimmed hat cocked ever so slightly to the right or left. Chinese symbol tattoo. Ed Hardy clothing.

On his Ipod: Lil Wayne, Nas, Waka Flocka

W.igger Douche has been in 97 fights with nary a punch landed or even thrown. Grew up in Carmel, Indiana. Could also very well be MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) Douche, found in your local Buffalo Wild Wings, trying to pick fights after his 9th Bud Light cuz short man syndrome is a bitch. I'm guessing at least one of you older fucks knocked up your OL with one of these unfortunate miscreants.

Annoyance meter (on scale of 1-10): 8.5

Hipster Douche

Appearance: Rolled jeans with stocking caps in 97 degrees on shoddy 10 speed bicycles clogging up busy streets in "the city."

On his record player he bought at a garage sale for $10: Over the last several years, indie rock has peered its head out from underground and presented itself to the masses. Hipster Douche will have NONE of that. Move over Mates of State, in come the b-sides of some nameless trio of Scottish folk singers. HD no longer cares for obscure. It's got to be bordering on non-existent.

Hipster Douche cherishes his degree, yet is too cool to work for "the man." Ask what he does for a living, and he's a writer, though shifts at Jimmy John's pay his quarter of the rent and PBR. He knows a lot more than he lets on because it isn't cool to be right or certain about anything. You want to ring his neck and tell him to grow up, until you realize he's older than you.

Annoyance meter: 7.3

Middle Aged Dork Douche

Appearance: Polo tucked in pleated khakis. Bad combover. May or may not have a carefully groomed mustache/goatee. Occasional wearer of socks with sandals and denim shirts...WITH JEANS. Wrap around sunglasses to look "cool."

In his Dodge Durango CD player: U2, Pink Floyd, AC/DC

Middle Aged Dork Douche is known for his blah surface talk and mind-numbing sense of humor. Can't wait to tell you what he shot yesterday. When you insincerely ask him how he's doing he says, "Livin' the dream!" There is an 87.68% chance MADD is a conservative. There is a 99.8% chance he's also "long winded joke guy." When you see him coming down the hallway at work, it's best to commando roll into the nearest doorway and GET THE FUCK OUT of there.

Annoyance meter: 9.2


DISCUSS

That might be a bit urban for this board.

illegal clothesline in backyard of subdivision guy might hit closer to home.

or

non-primary colour front door painting guy

How the hell is middle aged dork pulling a 9.2 and w.igger only 8.5???!!! That's totally backwards Yo!
Rack it mgo!!! This should be fun.


"I'm badass cause I have a lot of tattoos guy"

7.8

"I workout so I take my shirt off everywhere guy"

6.9

"Harley Davidson gear head-to-toe wearer"

9.7

Sorry, no narrative. It's late and I don't feel creative. But these 3 guys annoy me.

Dr_Phibes wrote:That might be a bit urban for this board.[/b]

x1500

Dr_Phibes wrote:That might be a bit urban for this board.

illegal clothesline in backyard of subdivision guy might hit closer to home.

or

non-primary colour front door painting guy

RACK

How the hell is middle aged dork pulling a 9.2 and w.igger only 8.5???!!! That's totally backwards Yo!

Probably because I have frequent dealings with Middle Aged Dork Guy, raising my irritant level.

Luther posted a thing on wiggers some years back that was pretty funny..although this crew looks like it might fit in here...

"I just ran a 5k and now I'm gonna post about it on Facebook! Who cares that I'm fat and tomorrow I'll fall back into my slovenly habits...I just ran a 5k!" ...guy.

8.1

Dickhead who does nothing but post Doppler weather radar images on Facebook, wasting everyone's fucking time.

9.38

The cockgobbler who spams facebook with a pic of every drink he's served that evening. Thanks to instagram he can keep taking pics long after he's been AP levels of overserved. Fuck a PET of all the hot sluts around you or actually socializing while paying too much to get drunk. As far as anyone knows you are alone at a bar with a cameraphone and that is good enough for you.

8.49

the dumbass who complains about shit on facebook as if he doesn't have the power to either unfriend the offending parties or turn off his computer

8.4

Bizzarofelice wrote:the dumbass who complains about shit on facebook as if he doesn't have the power to either unfriend the offending parties or turn off his computer

8.4

Bizzarofelice wrote:the dumbass who complains about shit on facebook as if he doesn't have the power to either unfriend the offending parties or turn off his computer

8.4

Please. Every single motherfucker in here might as well toss his laptop in the garbage if we're gonna suddenly start subscribing to "if you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all."

that's it. I'm unfriending MGO. and I won't be there to help you find the Bourbon Unicorn in Self-PityVille.

You're a little off on Hipster Dude, Magoo.

Hioster dude does have a bike, but, it's not a shoddy 10 speed. He rolls on a "fixie". In a prior life it was a 10 or 12 or X speed. it was probably even a decent one. Bonus points awarded for euro makes, especially Italian. A fixie, or more propperly, fixed gear bike is a single speed bike where the rear wheel can not coast. If the bike is rolling, the pedals are spinning. This type of bike is used in velodrome racing. Fixies are easily identified by the complete lack of brakes, shifters or derailers. and hipster fixie dude has a gaudy rattle can paint job.

There is a sub species of Hipster douche who I really, really, really hate.

Blondiefarian.

Blondiefarian comes from an upper middle class family, but, to show he is down the black man, he grows...or should I say, attempts to grow dreadlocks. in a just world, it would not just be legal to runover/shoot blondiefarian, there would be a fukking bounty on his nappy blonde locks.

And any discussion of mvscal douche wouldn't be complete without a mention of the particularly hardcore variety, who is also related to Blondiefarian in that he does a "black" thing with his locks. That dude would be cornrow mvscal.

Many wiggers come from regular middleclass backgrounds. Not cornrow mvscal. Cornrow mvscal is straight up white trash. Cornrow mvscal is more legit than suburb mvscal as he is from the hood, knows real niggggers and has likely been in a few scraps with them. Pretty fair chance he's got bullet holes in him too.

Facebook Douche -- has a Facebook account.

10.0

Facebook itself is fine. i have an account as does pretty much everyone in the civilized world, save Todd and Dins.

There are a few facebook types that do bother me. The first is stupid FB game dude who packs my message folder full of invites to play all manner of stupid fukking game. Go ahead and ask me once or twice. if I don't respond, stop fukking asking me. The other annoying FB dude is the loser who updates his status every 12 minutes with shit like "doing my laundry today" or grilled inedible non-U&L salmon for dinner tonight.

I can go weeks without a status update simply because nothing earfshattering happened to me during that spell. Others should follow suit.

FB is good for hooking up with old flames and friends you hadn't seen in years, not much else. Some chick I used to date in high school 'found' me and we met for dinner when she was back in town for our 30th high school reunion. It had been at least 25 years since I had last seen her and I doubt that would've happened were it not for FB.

War Wagon wrote:FB is good for hooking up with old flames and friends you hadn't seen in years, not much else. Some chick I used to date in high school 'found' me and we met for dinner when she was back in town for our 30th high school reunion. It had been at least 25 years since I had last seen her and I doubt that would've happened were it not for FB.

How in tha fuck would you know? Haven't you been married 30 years, Mr. Monogamous?

Also, did you clear this emotional affair with your wife beforehand?

Screw_Michigan wrote:Haven't you been married 30 years

29 in October.

Also, did you clear this emotional affair with your wife beforehand?

No, and it wasn't emotional. Just two old friends catching up over KC's finest, Smokehouse BBQ. It wasn't ever serious. I used her, she used me and neither one cared, we were getting our share.

That was horrible. Sorry.

smackaholic wrote:The first is stupid FB game dude who packs my message folder full of invites to play all manner of stupid fukking game. Go ahead and ask me once or twice. if I don't respond, stop fukking asking me.

More like ask me never. Of course once I discovered that Facebook has a feature that will allow you to block ALL requests from individual gamedouches, that problem is not a problem for me.

The other annoying FB dude is the loser who updates his status every 12 minutes with shit like "doing my laundry today" or grilled inedible non-U&L salmon for dinner tonight.

I can go weeks without a status update simply because nothing earfshattering happened to me during that spell. Others should follow suit.

That problem is also easily rectified. I just either unsubscribe from them or set their setting to "only important messages." No spam for me please.

Another Facebook type is Dittotard douche. That would be the guy who posts a non stop stream of neocon drivel thinking he's going to change the minds of any of his friends.

11.5

BSmack wrote:More like ask me never. Of course once I discovered that Facebook has a feature that will allow you to block ALL requests from individual gamedouches, that problem is not a problem for me.

Yeah, I kida figured there was the ability to do that. It just hasn't been enough of a problem to bother with it.

That problem is also easily rectified. I just either unsubscribe from them or set their setting to "only important messages." No spam for me please.

the problem with this is there are some status updates from these tards I may want to read. if i give that little a fukk abut them, i just delete them.

[/quote]Another Facebook type is Dittotard douche. That would be the guy who posts a non stop stream of neocon drivel thinking he's going to change the minds of any of his friends.

11.5[/quote]

yes, dittotard or his brother libtard are annoying. there are plenty of places on the rest of the interwebs for that shit.

Also annoying is ubbtard. Right, brad?

[quote]right./quote]

War Wagon wrote:FB is good for hooking up with old flames and friends you hadn't seen in years, not much else. Some chick I used to date in high school 'found' me and we met for dinner when she was back in town for our 30th high school reunion. It had been at least 25 years since I had last seen her and I doubt that would've happened were it not for FB.

Unless you bent her over the trunk of your Monte Carlo and doggy fucked her in the parking lot afterwards, we don't want to hear your blue balls story. if you did nail her,then post the fucking pictures damnit.

Derron wrote:

War Wagon wrote:FB is good for hooking up with old flames and friends you hadn't seen in years, not much else. Some chick I used to date in high school 'found' me and we met for dinner when she was back in town for our 30th high school reunion. It had been at least 25 years since I had last seen her and I doubt that would've happened were it not for FB.

Unless you bent her over the trunk of your Monte Carlo and doggy fucked her in the parking lot afterwards, we don't want to hear your blue balls story. if you did nail her,then post the fucking pictures damnit.

Have you seen Whitey's photo, Doron? Do you really want to see naked pictures of the hosebag that gave it up to that loser? They would have to carry the "gore" tag.

Gobbles McTubesteak wrote:

Derron wrote:

War Wagon wrote:FB is good for hooking up with old flames and friends you hadn't seen in years, not much else. Some chick I used to date in high school 'found' me and we met for dinner when she was back in town for our 30th high school reunion. It had been at least 25 years since I had last seen her and I doubt that would've happened were it not for FB.

Unless you bent her over the trunk of your Monte Carlo and doggy fucked her in the parking lot afterwards, we don't want to hear your blue balls story. if you did nail her,then post the fucking pictures damnit.

Have you seen Whitey's photo, Doron? Do you really want to see naked pictures of the hosebag that gave it up to that loser? They would have to carry the "gore" tag.

Of course I don't want to see his naked picture. Just a shot of the skank, so we can make fun of his taste in women or give the wytch's something to work with.

where's the pic of this chick who gave it up to whitey? BRING FORTH THE HEIFER!

Wasn't it already posted?

You know, the one where she was sitting on a tank.

Diego in Seattle wrote:Wasn't it already posted?

You know, the one where she was sitting on a tank.

he fucked dukakis?