T1B

Sudden Sam wrote: a really decent game

Now there's a really ringing endorsement.

They are probably at the same place the usually head to at half time of most of their games this year, the exits.

I was of the hope that the front porch of your doublewide might collapse and kill one of your dogs this week and spare you from this topic, Sam, but clearly you’ve got nuthin’ better to do than sip moon and watch the Fords and Kenmores in your front yard rust while you pine away for game day.

If you’re looking for something to do, you might mosey on up the road to the postbox to see if your relief check has been delivered while we Missourians work for a livin’….

Hell, I figgered a Southern Gentleman of your proclivity would at the very least have a roof to tar or a hog pen to mend… But instead, you’re a settin’ around here, a’whittlelin’ and a’spittin’ and a’fussin’ about where we Missouri folk just might be…

Well, we’ve got you right where we want you.

Never mind Mizzou’s three straight SEC losses; the out-manned and under-sized offensive line; the greenhorn redshirt freshman starting at quarterback this week; or the special teams play that couldn’t effectively snap a Golden Girl’s bra strap, much less a football for a PAT… What better way to inaugurate our dominance in this Big XII wannabe league – as witnessed by God and a national TV audience - than to whip the dog piss out of the most over-hyped, over-rated, over-fellated football team to occupy the top of the AP poll since the 2005 USC Trojans?

You DO realize that Mizzou is the ONLY team in the SEC that Alabama has a losing record against, correct? And it ain’t even close. Missouri PWNS this series, and enjoys a decisive, two-to-one wins-to-losses advantage historically in all the games these two schools have played against one another. And don’t even get me started on the fact that Saban has NEVER beaten Pinkel. Where I come from, that’s called SCOREBOARD, Southern Sam.

And no matter how hard you beg me, Sammy, I ain’t givin’ you no points come Saturday. But I will cut you some slack and only make you wear the signature I’m gonna hang on you like a worn-out pair of Carharts for a week. So whaddya say, Sam? It ain’t like I’m trying to take your sister away from you…

*Edit* BTW, Sammy, that ticket's tighter than Corbin Berkstresser's spinchter right about now. Got a couple of pals that were offered $750 apiece for their tix by a couple of resident Bammers... They politely declined. Guess they're planning on witnessing history - like Bammer lighting up the "1" next to the other two numbers on their side of the scoreboard for the first time ever...

Good one, Truman. Probably a good idea to make the funnies now because I fear that Saturday will be a time for tears.

Would that be teers or tares, Mace? Pronounced either way, I think "tears" applies...

That was the old days, Sammy. We’re big-time now.

Naw, with a 2:30 kick and this game circled in the state’s collective mindset ever since the schedule came out, I’d expect the “parking lots around Faurot” (a non-sequitur, btw), as well as the front yards of Greek Town fraternities and the shoulders of Providence Road and Stadium Drive to be fairly well packed bright and early. Tell your folks to follow the unbroken trail of Bud Light kegs ‘longside the road on the drive in, and they can’t miss the ‘Zou.

And of COURSE people RV in days before the game. They’re called “visiting fans.” Trouble is, those Bammer Winnebagos are gonna be hard-pressed to find stadium-side parking spots that most folks would be troubled to call “convenient.”

Now, Mizzou is proud of its University Hospital, but I’m thinking the young interns down there will have trouble keeping up with all the heart attacks our plus-sized visitors from the south are likely to suffer during their long, uphill trek to the stadium. I’m not sayin’ y’all are fat, but mvscal could make a killing selling those lard carnitas he's jocking over in the Food Forum from a food cart strategically parked at the KOA. And it isn’t every day that a KC Kaley can don a red tee shirt and actually blend in with a crowd. Having you all in our bars and restaurants makes the locals look like Californians – and any visiting Coloradan like an Ethiopian.

As for the BCS, I’m leaning Oregon. I’d tell you that you’re about to get a serious preview of their devastating spread offense come Saturday - but it would be a lie.

*Edit* And unless you own a cardigan and a pair of Argyle socks, Sammy, you wouldn't have been welcome on that tour. 'Sayin. :wink:

nice work in the first post Tru.

campinfool wrote:They are probably at the same place the usually head to at half time of most of their games this year, the exits.

actually, if you had watched the Georgia game, the stands stayed fairly full thru out, even after the dawgs had taken complete control by the 4th qtr. Of course, Mizzou had actually taken a 21-16 lead early in the 3rd.

I contrast that with the next day at Arrowhead, where the stands had mostly cleared out well before the 4th qtr. Point being, don't diss Mizzoufan. We're used to huge disappointment but most stay and take their lumps right along with the team.

As for this game on Saturday, 'bama is scary good while Mizzou is capable of being pathetically bad.

77-13 sounds about right if the bad Tigers show up. Maybe (and I'm being an overly generous homer here) 42-20 if Mizzou plays their best game possible and Saban has pity on Pinkel. I won't be holding my breath on the latter happening but it would nice to not be doing yard work by halftime.

Won't get there, Wags.

Saban and Pinkel are old pals. Hell, whose vote do you think it was that sprung the Taaad into the MNC last year?

Look for Alabama Freshmen to letter after Saban calls off his dogs mid-2nd Quarter while nursing a 35 point lead...

82 with a 30% chance of boomers, Sammy. Y'all oughtta feel right at home.

Pity they didn't play today - your folk woulda cleaned out the Kohl's looking for parkas... :grin:

I would think KU is kicking themselve for dropping Mizzou from their schedule right-about-now...

pretty much as I expected. Can't block, tackle or catch a football that hits right in hands. All in a torrential monsoon. Raining cats & dogs here too (which we desperately need) so I can't go out and work in the yard.

I can't imagine why CBS chose to schedule this game for a national broadcast but it can't get over soon enough. What a mismatch.

Mizzou defensive coordinator Dave Steckel joked earlier in the week that Alabama should leave the SEC and join the NFC south.

Not really such a joke. That O-line, especially, looks every bit as good as any NFL team.

So fucking what?

I've already got 4 with 3 more to play.

Yo, Carson (and you too, Wags)...

Toldja.

:wink:

War Wagon wrote:Mizzou defensive coordinator Dave Steckel joked earlier in the week that Alabama should leave the SEC and join the NFC south.

Not really such a joke. That O-line, especially, looks every bit as good as any NFL team.

Maybe he should've suggested that Mizzou join the MVC instead. I thought Larry Smith was dead...

Told me what?

Nothing I didn't already know, I assure you.

pic 'em smack, is that what it was about? I picked 'bama, for all the good it's done me this week. I'm just glad I'm not the only chump to have picked Texas. :doh:

Jsc810 wrote:

War Wagon wrote:I'm just glad I'm not the only chump to have picked Texas. :doh:

In.

c'mon, it wasn't a bad pick. David Ash was ranked ahead of Landry Jones in every stat category. Manny Diaz is a defensive genius the network guys keep telling us. Brian Harsin is the leader of the new school from Boise.

there is no doubt Mack Brown knows more about football than me....but these guys are not great. they seem like an overreaction for trendy young things. and unlike Mack, i will not go deeply into that.