Rank 'em! (Warning: no hot women involved, unfortunately.)

[Van]

Okay, I've regained the use of my hands and I can turn my head at least enough to pull this deal off without too much worry. That being the case, I pretty much owe it to myself to begin the process of rebuilding. For me, that means having a bike again. I don't like not having one. It just feels all wrong.

So, within the next week or so (possibly even today), I'll be picking up one of these five contenders. For the few of you here who love bikes, let's hear your opinions. For those of you who hate bikes, don't understand them, or just plain don't gave a watery turd of a fuck one way or the other, just toss in your eyeball opinion along with the usual insults.

First up, the Sensible Choice. This is the one I've been trying to get myself to pick since it's by far the slowest and most primitive bike of the group and therefore the one that will force me to take it easy.



Next up is the basic Opposite End of the Spectrum, which I'm only considering for two reasons: 1. I can get a killer deal on one. 2. There is little chance of becoming bored with it after six months, or even six days. (I'm looking at you, Triumph Bonneville.) As my strong preference is to go with a Euro bike, this is my only 'safe' choice from Nippon...



Next is the No-Brainer Option, since I know it will last forever while doing everything reasonably well...



The fourth option is just sort of cool and funky, and I have a serious soft spot for machinery from Perfidious Albion...



Finally, there's the oddest of oddball options, a bike one may go their entire life without ever seeing on the street...



1-5, what say you?

[Goober McTuber]

[Mikey]

Or, you could always go the Hunter Pence route.

[Van]

Goobs, I havta say, that thing probably does get kickass fuel mileage. It would probably kind of suck, though, for a trip to British Columbia. Not a whole lot of passenger accomodations either.

[Van]

The Bonneville is by far the best looking of that group - classic look

Agree 100%, which is what drew me to it in the first place.

The Moto Guzzi is awfully cool-looking too, though. Way more exotic flair, of the type only the Italians seem able to imbue their bikes with.

My grandfather had a Norton when i was a kid - never stopped loving the look of those bikes

Now that said - I understand they're a Maintanence nightmare as is anything Brittish made

The old Nortons are, sure. A new Bonneville is as reliable as an axe handle, or a bad AP post.

While I've never owned a Britt Bike - I didhave an MG for a year and shit broke on a weekly basis

Any reason you don't have an HD on the list?

Because they're truly awful fashion-statement bikes that cost way too much considering their horrid all-around performance. Now that they've killed off Buell they don't offer anything remotely sporty either, and I'll never own a cruiser. That Guzzi is sort of the Italian equivalent of a Harley, only it goes like stink and actually handles well.

Also, I hate Kid Rock.

[Rooster]

Ok, first question: How much money do you have to spend? Second question: What kind of riding do you like to do? Commuting? Weekender? Third question: How handy are you and can you wrench your own machine?

My first choice would be the Bonnie, but for stylistic reasons, not performance. If guts and speed are what matters, then you're missing a bike-- Suzuki GSXR1000 --that is reasonably priced and goes like a scalded dog. For sheer comfort there is another bike not on your list you haven't mentioned, but the cost is fairly high: The Beemer GTL.

[Sirfindafold]

sin,

McGoober

[Rooster]

I see you're leaning toward a naked/streetfighter bike. Have you considered the Duck Streetfighter? Serious cost, but performance up the wazoo, Italian looks, great exhaust note, and short wheelbase for terrific street hooliganism.

[Dr_Phibes]

The Bonneville is by far the best looking of that group - classic look

My grandfather had a Norton when i was a kid - never stopped loving the look of those bikes

Now that said - I understand they're a Maintanence nightmare as is anything Brittish made

I just bought a '71 T120, disaster year for the Bonneville. I knew that going in, but all the design flaws were dealt with by the previous owner so it runs like a dream, the handling is top notch. It just.. likes to leak oil which can be a problem passing a safety. You really know you're on a bike, it's brilliant for the city.
Getting parts can take time, but save that for the winter.

[Van]

Ok, first question: How much money do you have to spend?

All these bikes are within my price range.

Second question: What kind of riding do you like to do? Commuting? Weekender?

Sport-touring. My track days are over. Given a day or two off, I'll likely head either to the coast or to the mountains. Canyon riding with lots of freeway time.

Purely in terms of competency and comfort the Ninja 100 is clearly the best choice. It's the only one with any wind protection, and I'm not about to throw a windshield on any of the others. I went up to and across Canada on a naked bike, so I have no problem with that.

No, this is more of a fun-to-ride question now. I don't need a bike for commuting. This is purely a deal of what bike will make me happiest? That's the only reason I'm even considering the Guzzi. It's just so cool, plus it's unique. Nothing else will sound, look, feel, or go down the road like a big Guzzi Twin. The shaft drive is also really cool.

Third question: How handy are you and can you wrench your own machine?

Not worried about maintenance on any of 'em.

My first choice would be the Bonnie, but for stylistic reasons, not performance.

It's my second choice for style and first for overall affordability. Lowest insurance premium of the group, lowest purchase price, only requires 87 regular. It handles halfway decently, provided you don't try to ride it like a GSX-R. The seat is an abomination. It has to be replaced if you're going to do any distance work. The motor is fine for around town and passable on the freeway, but I have my doubts that it's strong enough for two-up riding at elevation, especially when it comes time to blow by a line of mobile homes with just a quick flick of the wrist.

That's the appeal of the Ninja. I'm used to having effortless acceleration at any speed. I know the Ninja would handle Tioga Pass and I-395, no problem. I just don't want that look again, and I especially don't want something with a freaking Ninja moniker. On top of that, the Ninja is overstyled in Kawi's usual Japanese anime fetish. Even among sportbikes it looks a little overdone.

If guts and speed are what matters, then you're missing a bike-- Suzuki GSXR1000 --that is reasonably priced and goes like a scalded dog.

Already had one. Loved it to death. Can't do the lean-over thing anymore, post-surgery. Notice that everything on my list allows for an upright riding position.

For sheer comfort there is another bike not on your list you haven't mentioned, but the cost is fairly high: The Beemer GTL.

Yeah, a 1600GT would be killer but I don't need or even want that much weight, cost and complexity. If I were to go the straight-up touring bike route, I'd go with the R 1200RT, not the K-GT. Certainly not the behemoth GTL. That's the appeal of the R1200R to me. It's a stripped down R-RT: all the essentials; none of the size, heft, cost or complexity.

I really would prefer a naked bike, and something simple.

[Van]

I see you're leaning toward a naked/streetfighter bike. Have you considered the Duck Streetfighter? Serious cost, but performance up the wazoo, Italian looks, great exhaust note, and short wheelbase for terrific street hooliganism.

Don't like the seating position. It places me too far forward over the front wheel, with more of a reach than I would prefer. Same thing with all the Monsters. The GT-1000 would have been a definite contender except they don't make 'em anymore.

The bike in that class that most appeals to me by far is the Triumph Street Triple R. Love its low wet, its ripping motor, its handling...practically everything about it. The thing is, the '12s are all gone and the restyled '13s are still a few months away. Also, that thing is the exact opposite of what I'm trying accomplish here: slow down and relax. There is simply no way to hop on a Street Triple and stay mellow. You're going to behave like a moron on one. It's inevitable.

[Goober McTuber]

[Trampis]

Sounds like you really want to buy the Moto Guzzi. It looks badass, no doubt about it. How is it for reliability and do you know a reliable place that can help you fix it (parts availability)?

1-Motoguzzi
2-I like the Bonnie but it sounds like its too slow for what you want to do
3-The BMW, but Id go with a different one like R1200rt you mentioned
4-That other Triumph you posted
5-Ninja,....no, I assume your not 24 still.

[Dr_Phibes]

If you're in a position to physically see them, the bike will choose you - 'that's the bike for me'.

[Van]

Sounds like you really want to buy the Moto Guzzi.

Purely on emotion, yep. What a cool thing to own.

It looks badass, no doubt about it. How is it for reliability and do you know a reliable place that can help you fix it (parts availability)?

They're bombproof, plus I have a Guzzi/Triumph/Aprilia dealer a half-hour from here.

1-Motoguzzi
2-I like the Bonnie but it sounds like its too slow for what you want to do
3-The BMW, but Id go with a different one like R1200rt you mentioned
4-That other Triumph you posted
5-Ninja,....no, I assume your not 24 still.

See, the whole point of that Ninja is it's not supposed to appeal to 24-year-olds (not with those high bars and the upright seating position), nor is it supposed to look like "one of those Ninja bikes." And yet it still does. I don't like the look or the image.

[Van]

Guzzi.

Now how did I know you'd say that, Oh Old Guy/Lover of All Things Nostalgic and/or Eclectic?

[Van]

Phibes, I've seen and sat on all of them in the last couple of days. Rode a couple, too. They all have their plusses and minuses. Nothing is standing out as the clear-cut winner. If the Guzzi had a metal tank rather than a plastic one so that I could continue to use my magnetic tank bag, it'd be my definite number one. The BMW is basically flawless, other than for the price. I'm still working on that. The Tiger 800's windshield bothers me because I know it will be noisy as hell plus the bike will end up costing nearly as much as the BMW. The Ninja is excellent, but no available centerstand and it's a fucking Ninja. The Bonneville? Easiest to purchase and live with, but it gives me the most pause. I really don't want to feel like unloading my new bike for something stronger six months into the ownership experience.

So, nope, so far the In-the-Flesh Eyeball Test hasn't quite sorted this out for me.

[smackaholic]

Don't get a motorcycle.

That said, check out the Honda Goldwings, nice bikes.

This statement says a lot.

Goldwings are amazing machines, but, they really aren't motorcycles. They are two wheeled accords.

Of the bikes you are considering, I like that Triumph enduro dealio. Who doesn't want a 100 hp dual purpose?

The others are neat as well and the guzzi definitely does have that uniqueness thing going for it.

The bonnie is definitely the prettiest, which leads me to the question, why the fuck is it that they figured out what a good looking bike was in the 70s, but, have decided to hide them all under horrific looking plastic for the last quarter century or so?

Have you considered the FJR? That is a pretty cool ST.

[smackaholic]

If I ever hit powerball for serious "fukk you money" ( a little term we came up with at work that signifies you now have the ability to drop that term on anyone with impunity) I would have a few Harleys. I would have something from the 60s or older and a Road King Classic with the leather hard bags. I would also have some vintage Indians. But, I wouldn't have that thing with the dinner plate wheels that scrote seems to think is attractive.

The Road King Classic prolly wouldn't get ridden a lot. It would likely sit in my man cave next to the pool table and the 90 inch LED TV. I just think it looks cool.

Damn, I really need to get the old FJ out of the basement, clean the carbs and put a new pair of shoes on it.

[Van]

Don't get a motorcycle.

That said, check out the Honda Goldwings, nice bikes.

Which part of "I don't want anything large, heavy and complex. My preference is for a small naked bike" eluded you?

Btw, I sold Goldwings for upwards of ten years. I'm sorta familiar with 'em.

[Van]

KC, if you think that pig slow triceratops of a Harley handled well, you clearly haven't ridden anything that does handle well. Seriously, those things handle like dumptrucks. But hey, they're also incredibly underpowered and wildly overpriced, so they have that going for them.

smackaholic, I really wanted the FJ1300 back when it first came out in '03. I ended up getting an ST1300 instead since I was able to get one at cost. Now, though? I'm not really looking for anything that large or heavy.

That being said, if a super clean one should turn up in the next day or so, hmmm, I suppose I might consider it. The shaft drive and lockable bags would be awfully nice, especially in winter.

[Dr_Phibes]

Strictly in terms of aesthetics, the Bonnie is the only option. Princess drove the Kawasaki in 'Battle Of The Planets', it looks like a toy. The BMW is unremarkable in every way. The other two are interesting, but contemporary/exotic rapidly turns into dated/wanky. Like putting brown shag carpet in the study as opposed to a coat of Library Red paint.

[Van]

Phibes, I have to agree with everything you just wrote. If the Bonnie merely had another twenty-five horsepower, this would be a no-brainer for me.

[Dr_Phibes]

$1,500 for tweaks, that's a 27% increase in horsepower

[Van]

Yeah, but that's for the older carbureted version with the smaller motor.

[Diego in Seattle]

Can't you swap the plastic tank out for a metal one?

And ya...Goldwings (especially the 1800) are heavier than shit.

[Dr_Phibes]

Yeah, but that's for the older carbureted version with the smaller motor.

I didn't know there was an 865

[Van]

Yep, and it's fuel injected too, making performance mods a little more difficult. Those things that look just like old-fashioned carbs...



...are actually EFI throttle bodies made to look like carbs so as to maintain the traditional appearance of a Bonneville.

Diego, nope, check out the lines of the Guzzi's multi-sectioned tank. Nobody offers a metal alternative. Besides, after sitting on it again today and really checking it out, I had to scratch it off my list. The width of the bars combined with the forward lean puts too much pressure on my rebuilt cervical spine. Within thirty seconds it was already beginning to pinch like a bastard.

[Van]

The nitrous was a nice touch. I mean, really, what good is a Viper motor without NOS?

[Rooster]

Ugh. I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but Harleys are just ugly to me. There is something about the whole assembly line production ethos of "Look at me! I am bad to the bone, even though I am just a weekend rider and work as a dentist the other five days of the week" thing where the conformal black leather assless chaps and patch covered vest while pretending to be a 1%er deal goes on. It for all the world looks like adults working at making Halloween a 365 day a year holiday.

The older I get the more I gravitate toward Teutonic engineering and design. Everything seems to flow from function into form and reliability. If Mercedes were to go into the motorcycle business, I'd be the first to line up at the door to purchase one.

[smackaholic]

I suspect that NAWZ bottle may be for decoration. I can't imagine cracking that beast open and thinking, nahhh, not quite enough, let's throw another 300 hp on the fire.

[Felix]

1. Triumph-love the old school look
2. Moto Guzzi-a sweet looking ride

those two stand out from the rest, but ultimately it's whatever is going to best fit your needs

I traded it in a year later for a 900 Kaw.

second bike I owned was a Kawi 750 H-2 triple, probably one of the scariest motorcycle ever built, but loved blowing the 900's up off the line...

[smackaholic]

You owned an H-2 and lived to tell about it?

Rack you!

Pretty much the 70s version of the V-10 with NOS boss hoss.

[Felix]

You owned an H-2 and lived to tell about it?

Rack you!

Pretty much the 70s version of the V-10 with NOS boss hoss.

not satisfied with factory specs, I added velocity stacks and expansion chambers to it to make it faster....probably capable of somewhere around 130 mph, but it vibrated tremendously at anything above 90....essentially like riding a blender......

no doubt I'm lucky to have survived it

[Felix]

Had a 1974 Kawasaki 500 H-1 Triple. Once again, we seem to have grown up in a parallel universe of sorts. Or have we already discussed this aspect?

I rode the 750 H-2 that eventually killed one of my best friends. To this day, my eyeballs remain deeper set than they were prior to that ride.

I bought a Suzuki 380GT which was my main form of transportation......I got sucked into the Kawasaki when I rode a 71 H-1....I traded the Suzuki in on 73 H-2 which came in two colors, purple and gold...

I opted for the purple....

we must be brothers from a different mother.....

[smackaholic]

I opted for the purple....

figures.

[Van]

My main bikes over the years have been a Cub 50 (don't laugh...I raised hell on the little booger), Yamaha 250 with the tallest damn sissy bar you've ever seen(no idea why I left that thing on there), the Kaw 500, 750 Yamaha Triple (rode that thing to Oklahoma a couple of times), Suzuki 850. Loooooong gap to raise kids. Suzuki Volusia (no idea why) and the Honda VTX1300S, upon which I now have accumulated 60,440 miles as of yesterday.

Hmmm...

Honda CB400A (the automatic two speed, my first bike)
Yamaha FJ1200
Honda ST1100
Honda ST1300
Kawasaki ZX-6R
Suzuki GS500 (more Susan's bike than mine, but I rode it more often)
Suzuki GSX-R750
Suzuki GSX-R1000
Suzuki SV650
Suzuki SV1000
Suzuki V-Strom 1000
Honda CBR600F4i
Kawasaki ZX-9R
Honda VFR750
Honda VFR800
BMW R1100R

All told, about a quarter-million miles. My favorites were the ST1100 and both VFRs. Guess I like Honda V4s. Looking at that list, though, I'm noticing that I have only had two Kawis, one Yamaha, and nothing Italian or British. That kind of sucks, the lack of Brit or Italian bikes thing.

Buy the Guzzi, Van.

I really wanted to. I need to cross off 'Italy" and 'Blighty' from the list, but alas...

Diego, nope, check out the lines of the Guzzi's multi-sectioned tank. Nobody offers a metal alternative. Besides, after sitting on it again today and really checking it out, I had to scratch it off my list. The width of the bars combined with the forward lean puts too much pressure on my rebuilt cervical spine. Within thirty seconds it was already beginning to pinch like a bastard.

Looks like it'll either be the BMW or one of the two Triumphs. I'll probably do it today.

[Van]

I don't own a camera. Well, other than the one in my prehistoric cellphone.

[Goober McTuber]

If I ever hit powerball for serious "fukk you money" ( a little term we came up with at work that signifies you now have the ability to drop that term on anyone with impunity)

Really? So you’ve been working there since the 70’s?

[Van]

I bought the BMW. No longer bikeless. Yay.