T1B

sure we've had countless threads of "name your favorite movies"
and maybe we're had name your least favorites......

but this is a dregs movie thread.....yeah, the worst movie you can remember ever seeing....I've seen lots of shit movies, but in order to be a "dregs" flick.....
the movie should have no redeemng qualities. be the type of flick you'd send your worst enemy to with the promise that "you'll really like this"

year doesn't matter, the only thing that counts is that when you walked away from it screaming "there's two hours I'll never get back"

and anything by Ed Woods is a disqualification.....he made the worst films ever....

so from bad to worst, here are mine.....

Showgirls-even gratuitous tit shots couldn't save this fucking disaster
Howard the Duck-originally suggested by George Lucas, this movie was perpetuated on a bad idea, and solidified that bad idea with shitty acting, worse costumes, and absolutely no point...a must avoid....
Ultraviolet-unwatchable, but being a glutton for punishment I was convinced that there had to be something of value.....I was wrong
Streetfighter-never a big Jean Claude Van Damme fan, this movie convinced me I'd never watch another movie he was in.....so far, so good....I haven't seen anything by that moron sincle....
White Chicks-I was a Wyans brother fan, but this was just fucking awful
The Avengers-when a funny movie isn't funnie. it's something else....in this instance, this was a steaming pile
Heaven's Gate-after seeing Deer Hunter, I as anxious for Cimino's followup....Cimino is is probably selling hotdogs in New York after this travesty.....
Raise the Titanic-sure, Clive Cussler writes simplistic stories that are predictable, but hollywood found a way to fuck this movie beyond recognition....this took a special kind of suck

The worst two are interchangeable....either one could stand on it's only accord of rating the biggest pile of shit I've ever had the misfortune to see....I've never worked so hard for a piece of ass trying to wade through either one....so take your pick

Yentyl-the single most self indulgent piece of shit I can remember seeing, and would have won the award going away had it not been for
Moulin Rouge-simply the worst I can remember-watch at your own risk, but don't operate heavy machinery afterward.....

what others am I'm missing?

Felix, that is a fairly solid "dregs" list, with one odd exception. How can you justify putting "The Avengers" on it? It grossed over $200 million on its opening weekend and has been rated as one of the top 10 movies of 2012. Joss Whedon wrote a solid script that was true to the spirit of the comic and the other Marvel movies and was actually pretty funny. It might not have been your particular cup o' tea, but frankly I think you are way off base on this one.

As to Carsons pick of "Neighbors", while it certainly isn't a great movie, it isn't the worst. Hell, "Doctor Detroit" was a weaker Aykroyd movie, and even Rotten Tomatoes rated "Neighbors" as a 3 1/2 star comedy, calling it "too smart" for its audience. I haven't seen it since it was released in 1981, but I remember actually kind of liking it.

At any rate, here's some of the films you might have forgotten about, with all Ed Wood selections left out, as per the rules.


Manos: The Hands of Fate - While it has gained cult status due to the treatment it recieved on 'Mystery Science Theatre 3000', this is perhaps the worst movie ever. Many long, slow pointless tracking shots out of a car window, virtually no script, bad lighting and photography and worse acting. Wretched and unwatchable. MST3K has made it a bit of a classic as one of their funniest episodes. The robots Crow and Tom Servo were almost lobotomized by watching it, and Doctor Forrester actually apologizes for sending it to the guys. Horrible doesn't even begin to describe this turd.
Inchon - $46 million to make this bomb, it only got back about 10% of that at the box office. So bad that it has never been released on video in America. Biggest bomb of all war movies.
Leonard Part 6 - Bill Cosby disowned this piece of garbage as soon as it was released. How bad was it? It featured a flying ostrich. Thank God and god there was never a Leonard Part 1-5.
Troll 2 - For starters, there are no trolls in this piece of junk,(a moment of silence as .net rolls over in its grave) but goblins instead. It had no relation whatsoever to "Troll", itself a bad horror movie, and is the worst definition of a sequel. Unless you consider...
Highlander II: The Quickening - So let's see, we'll take a fantasy film and turn it into a science fiction, then we'll make the warrirors actually aliens. Good idea? Umm, no. Hilariously incomprehensible, this almost killed the franchise for fans. Somehow, a pair of directors cuts released a few years later managed to make some sense out of this mess, but too little too late. Like Ed Wood with a couple of million dollars to play with.
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie - A live action adaptation of a kids trading card set, itself a parody of Cabbage Patch Dolls. Much of its content is wildly inappropriate for children, its intended audience. Throughout the movie, the Garbage Pail Kids steal, get in fights, bite toes off people, fart in people's faces, threaten others with switch blades, urinate upon themselves, and run over cars. A repulsive mess, unfunny and way off the mark of its so-called message of "judging people by their behavior and not their appearance. Offensive, badly acted and kind of creepy.
North - Rob Reiner makes his first bomb, and it is classic of epic-bad proportions. A complete waste of great talent (Bruce Willis, Kathy Bates and Dan Aykroyd), Roger Ebert said, "I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it." Thumbs down I guess.
Battlefield Earth - In which John Travolta tries to canonize his beloved L. Ron Hubbard's tripe of a novel, it was so bad it forced the distributor, Franchise Pictures out of business, due to fraudulently over-stating the films bloated budget. Needless to say, the planned sequel never saw the light of day and never will.
Gigli and Shanghai Surprise - Hard to say which one is worse, but this pair of films nearly killed four careers. Sean Penn and Madonna and Ben Affleck and J.Lo. split as couples shortly after the release of these turkeys. Both were box office duds. Deservedly so.
Birdemic: Shock and Terror - A so-called tribute to "The Birds" by Hitchcock, this "film" was made on a $10,000 shoestring budget, and each and every penny shows up...or doesn't. Wooden acting, bad dialogue, amateurish sound and editing, nonsensical plot and, in particular, its special effects, consisting primarily of poorly rendered CGI eagles and vultures that perform physically awkward aerial maneuvers and explode upon impact with the ground. Perfect metaphor for another bomb.

Which brings us to these last two...

The Room - Although the film's star, writer, producer and director Tommy Wiseau has claimed it to be a black comedy (and that, as a result, the film's numerous flaws are intentional), most of the actors involved in the production have denied this. Bizarre and out of place script lines, subplots that never get adequately resolved or are forgotten altogether, nonsensical exterior shots (one scene features three establishing shots during its duration), and infamous use of green-screen for "outdoor" rooftop scenes. Due to MST3K again, it has actually gotten a cult following, but for all the wrong reasons. Considered one of the worst movies ever made.

Batman and Robin - The Batman movie all comic book and superhero fans alike refer to as "The one that we dare not speak its name." Widely critcized for its "toyetic" look and horrific camp approach, bad one-liners (especially from Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze) and homosexual innuendo. Michael J. Nelson, of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame, wrote of the movie in his book, Movie Megacheese, "Batman & Robin is not the worst movie ever. No, indeed. It's the worst thing ever. Yes, it's the single worst thing that we as human beings have ever produced in recorded history." 'Nuff said.

Jay in Phoenix wrote:Felix, that is a fairly solid "dregs" list, with one odd exception. How can you justify putting "The Avengers" on it?

you're thinking of the wrong avengers flick



I liked the 2012 Avengers flick

add Beasts of the Southern Wild and Amour to my dregs list
two overhyped movies that were pointlessness personified....honestly, I only made it about 45 minutes into Beasts before I simply could no longer bear it.....I made it about 30 minutes into Amour before I pulled the plug....

Oooh-kay...upon further review, the dregs-play stands as called. THAT particular "Avengers" is certifiable piece of garbage. Great campy old British teevee series just ruined by the movie. And even with a cast of Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, and Sean Connery, it was still awful. So good call. Haven't seen "Beasts" or "Amour" nor do I intend to. There are a few titles I forgot about...and for good reason!

The Wicker Man (Nicholas Cage) - A complete waste of time with an unasked for remake. Nicholas Cage dons a bear suit and punches ladies left and right. Boring and mean spirited and without a trace of the atmosphere of the weird British original.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - ...and there goes the franchise. Including Shia LeBeouf just added more stink. Damn shame to end this series on this note. Aliens, family drama and Indy looks like he's struggling with a hernia throughout this mess. Sad.

Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace - The most positive thing you can say about Episode 1 is that at least it was released in 1999. If it came out today, fan reaction would probably melt the internet. By this point, you have to assume that anyone who claims the film is “really not that bad” is doing so to get a reaction and anyone who says they actually like it is full out trolling. As the limited edition Mountain Dew cans and inflatable Darth Maul chairs fade further and further into the distance, all we’re left with are the wooden performances, slow pace, discussions about embargoes, been there/done that CGI and Jar Jar’s tongue. Yippee.

Catwoman - If you put Halle Berry in a leather catsuit and STILL wind up with a 3/10 user rating on IMDb, you’ve done something wrong. You’ve done something terribly, permanently, Cthulhu-rising-from-the-sea wrong. Did I mention it was wrong?

The Twilight Saga - There’s a lot of bad to cover in this vast, sprawling film series so let's try to boil it down in basic terms: "Mumble mumble mumble moon eyes. Mumble mumble mumble mumble lay in a field. Mumble mumble mumble perv on a baby. Mumble."

Congratulations Twilight! You are the Worst Movie Series of All Time! Which individual film is the best of this miserable bunch? The worst? Like it matters?

Mumble.

Dude...Leonard pt 6 was funny as FUCK..........when i was a kid.


"MELTED BUTTER.....MELTED BUTTER!!!!!!" holy fuck...

Sudden Sam wrote:Anaconda is so bad, it's good. Jon Voight is terrible in it.

yeah, when you start rooting for the snake, you know it's pretty bad.....

Deep Blue Sea is pretty rough.

Samuel L agrees......after seeing the dailies on that POS I'll bet that giant shark couldn't get there fast enough for Sam....

Sudden Sam wrote:Anaconda is so bad, it's good. Jon Voight is terrible in it.

Deep Blue Sea is pretty rough.

It is funny how a movie can be so awful it becomes good in a bizzaro kind of way. I suppose that's one of the mainstay reasons behind the success of MST3K and the way it turns garbage into a cult classic. "Anaconda" was just the right blend of awful and unintentionally funny. And when Jon Voight is chewing the scenery, it gets even worse/better. Once upon a time he was a decent actor. Now he's a caricature. Christopher Walken is too, but he found the right way to apply it to make his current roles amusing and accessible. Voight is just bad. Although, he did do a respectable and funny turn in that kids movie "Holes" with a young Shia LeBeouf. Sigourney Weaver, Timothy Blake Nelson, Eartha Kitt(Catwoman!), Patricia Arquette and Dulé Hill were all good too.

"Deep Blue Sea" had an okay cast, but it was just so stupid. And Samuel L. couldn't save it. Another so bad it was kind of okay film with him was the dubious "Snakes on a Plane". If you just accept it as a spoof of horror films and airplane disaster movies, it works. There were even a few quality quotes in it. I mean, lines like, "Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane! " and "Well, I know what I gotta do. We're in a 200-foot aluminum tube and we're 30,000 feet in the air. And any one of those slimy little pieces of shit can trip a circuit or a relay or a hydraulic and this bird goes down faster than a Thai hooker." work in their own way.

What MST3K has done over the years to polish these turds into cult movies is remarkable.


All Hail the Mysties!

for your consideration was awful. big fan of Chris Guest and the SCTV alums....but FYC was awful.

i saw that mel gibson movie about the aztecs the same day. it was much better. whatever that was called.

Jay in Phoenix wrote: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - ...and there goes the franchise. Including Shia LeBeouf just added more stink. Damn shame to end this series on this note. Aliens, family drama and Indy looks like he's struggling with a hernia throughout this mess. Sad.

True.

Let me add that, before watching Last Crusade, I thought it was going to be an enormous turd. It was actually fairly entertaining.

King Crimson wrote:
i saw that mel gibson movie about the aztecs the same day. it was much better. whatever that was called.

Apocalypto


Fucking awesome. Completely passed over by the Hebrew press.

Martyred wrote:

King Crimson wrote:
i saw that mel gibson movie about the aztecs the same day. it was much better. whatever that was called.

Apocalypto


Fucking awesome. Completely passed over by the Hebrew press.

yes, thank you. apocalypto. great name. lot of running in that one. the last half of the movie is all running. loved the human sacrifice scene at the temple. awesome. totally apocalypto.