March is coming
Posted: Fri Mar 01, 2013 3:49 am
from SNL back when it was actually humorous:
Chevy Chase: “Last week, we made the comment that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Now here to reply is our chief meteorologist, John Belushi, with a seasonal report.”
John Belushi: “Thank you, Chevy. Well, another winter is almost over and March, true to form, has come in like a lion, and hopefully will go out like a lamb. At least that’s how March works here in the United States.
But did you know that March behaves differently in other countries?
In Norway, for example, March comes in like a polar bear and goes out like a walrus.
Or, take the case of Honduras, where March comes in like a lamb and goes out like a salt marsh harvest mouse.
Let’s compare this to the Maldive Islands, where March comes in like a wildebeest and goes out like an ant. A tiny, little ant about this big.
[holds thumb and index fingers a small distance apart]
Unlike the Malay Peninsula, where March comes in like a worm-eating fernbird and goes out like a worm-eating fernbird. In fact, their whole year is like a worm-eating fernbird.
Or consider the Republic of South Africa, where March comes in like a lion and goes out like a different lion. Like one has a mane, and one doesn’t have a mane.
Or in certain parts of South America, where March swims in like a sea otter, and then it slithers out like a giant anaconda. There, you can buy land real cheap, you know.
And there’s a country where March hops in like a kangaroo, and stays a kangaroo for a while, and then it becomes a slightly smaller kangaroo. Then, then, then for a couple of days, it’s sort of a cross between a, a frilled lizard and a common house cat.
[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him]
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Then it changes back into a smaller kangaroo, and then it goes out like a, like a wild dingo. Now, now, and it’s not Australia! Now, now, you’d think it would be Australia, but it’s not!
[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him]
Now look, pal! I know a country where March comes in like an emu and goes out like a tapir. And they don’t even know what it means! All right?
Now listen, there are nine different countries, where March comes in like a frog, and goes out like a golden retriever. But that … that’s not the weird part! No, no, the weird part is, is the frog. The frog … the weird part is …
[has seizure and falls off chair]
FYI: Belushi dies on March 5, 1982. Hard to believe it was so long ago and far away.
Tempus fugit.
Chevy Chase: “Last week, we made the comment that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Now here to reply is our chief meteorologist, John Belushi, with a seasonal report.”
John Belushi: “Thank you, Chevy. Well, another winter is almost over and March, true to form, has come in like a lion, and hopefully will go out like a lamb. At least that’s how March works here in the United States.
But did you know that March behaves differently in other countries?
In Norway, for example, March comes in like a polar bear and goes out like a walrus.
Or, take the case of Honduras, where March comes in like a lamb and goes out like a salt marsh harvest mouse.
Let’s compare this to the Maldive Islands, where March comes in like a wildebeest and goes out like an ant. A tiny, little ant about this big.
[holds thumb and index fingers a small distance apart]
Unlike the Malay Peninsula, where March comes in like a worm-eating fernbird and goes out like a worm-eating fernbird. In fact, their whole year is like a worm-eating fernbird.
Or consider the Republic of South Africa, where March comes in like a lion and goes out like a different lion. Like one has a mane, and one doesn’t have a mane.
Or in certain parts of South America, where March swims in like a sea otter, and then it slithers out like a giant anaconda. There, you can buy land real cheap, you know.
And there’s a country where March hops in like a kangaroo, and stays a kangaroo for a while, and then it becomes a slightly smaller kangaroo. Then, then, then for a couple of days, it’s sort of a cross between a, a frilled lizard and a common house cat.
[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him]
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Then it changes back into a smaller kangaroo, and then it goes out like a, like a wild dingo. Now, now, and it’s not Australia! Now, now, you’d think it would be Australia, but it’s not!
[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him]
Now look, pal! I know a country where March comes in like an emu and goes out like a tapir. And they don’t even know what it means! All right?
Now listen, there are nine different countries, where March comes in like a frog, and goes out like a golden retriever. But that … that’s not the weird part! No, no, the weird part is, is the frog. The frog … the weird part is …
[has seizure and falls off chair]
FYI: Belushi dies on March 5, 1982. Hard to believe it was so long ago and far away.
Tempus fugit.