T1B

http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/the-mo ... -the-world

I could handle 1, 5 12, 26 & 30.

All I wanna know is how this didn't make the cut:

I was thinking the same thing as soon as I read this thread's title.

That pic will never not be funny.

I mean, a Hollywood set designer couldn't have come up with more ingenious props to illustrate Jed Clampett's former digs. Everyone chuckles at the tangle of extension cords and foundation that's about to collapse were not attached to that deck structure, but for me, the best is the oil drain pan randomly lying about for no apparent reason.

Rack casa de cockaholic

I wonder how much more value a house has with a tree stand attached to it.

War Wagon wrote: foundation that's about to collapse were not attached to that deck structure

Thank god the deck is supported by those ladders wedged underneath.

Every time you see that pic, you find a new "WTF?"

BTW....I'm not big on super modern looking places, but that clock tower apartment kicks all sorts of ass

R-Jack wrote:Every time you see that pic, you find a new "WTF?"

No shit.

I was admiring how the 8 x 8 posts were slotted out at the top for the 2 x 8 joists to fit snugly into... and then I look at the base of the posts again and it looks like they're just sitting on top of concrete pillars, rather than sunk into the ground.

WTF indeed. :?

88 wrote:It looks like the posts are supported on concrete piers, which is an acceptable way to do it.

as opposed to sinking the posts into the ground in a well of concrete? I don't think so. What is securing the posts to the piers? A flimsy bracket and square headed deck screws? As much as all that lumber cost, that should have been a minimum requirement.

For the most part, that deck is over-built. Especially when considering what it's being attached to. The lipstick on a pig analogy doesn't quite work here. More like, new Michelins on a car with a broken crankshaft.

c'mon 'holic, get in here and defend your deck building prowess, or did you hire it done?

While you're at it, explain those green streaks down the siding on either side of that window. I just noticed that as well and won't even hazard a guess as to the cause. But if I did, it would probably be some disgusting anecdote involving Mrs. Cockaholic in either the bedroom or bathroom.

88 wrote:In my book, over-built is way better than under-built.

Maybe if you have more money than sense it is. CCA lumber isn't cheap. 4x4's and 2x6's are plenty adequate for a deck. He's building a deck, not a fortress.

And I do not know what makes you skeptical of the integrity of the structure it is being attached to.

Look at the cracks and deflection in that 'foundation'. 'holic swears that's poured concrete, I say it's plastered over cinder block. You can see the cinder block outlines quite clearly and like I've said before, a good hard donkey punch would cause it to collapse... except maybe that overbuilt deck might hold it up.

If it were powerwashed...

that would probably cause it to collapse as well.

Smackaholic builds a sturdy deck and gets criticized by someone who can't even build a decent dog pen. Funny.

My god, what have I done. :doh:

Mace wrote:Smackaholic builds a sturdy deck and gets criticized by someone who can't even build a decent dog pen. Funny.

Not funny that a gate was left open or that I had a dog who could jump over a 6' high privacy fence. I built that fence 25 years ago and it's still straighter than most newer ones I've seen go up since then. 100' foot down the sides and 50' across.

Fuck you, asshole.

88 wrote: Those "cinder block outlines" are way too narrow to be cinder blocks. You are likely looking at the imprints made by the forms that contained the concrete when it was poured. And for the record, I'm not a fan of poured concrete walls, although that seems to be a trend these days.

I dunno, maybe they had smaller cinder blocks in NE when that was built. If so, those 'forms' that left those horizontal imprints were the shittiest forms ever crafted, probably made from used pallets or some such.

Why are you not a fan of poured concrete walls and what's your preference? Done properly by an experienced contractor with decent equipment, a poured concrete foundation is easily the sturdiest, fastest and most efficient method. And you get a flat wall, unlike that atrocity in the Connecticut backwoods.

I was wondering why the lawnmower was there.

Then at closer look I could see that the Bermuda was just mowed.

The Flintstones would have a field day on that course.

War Wagon wrote:

Mace wrote:Smackaholic builds a sturdy deck and gets criticized by someone who can't even build a decent dog pen. Funny.

Not funny that a gate was left open or that I had a dog who could jump over a 6' high privacy fence. I built that fence 25 years ago and it's still straighter than most newer ones I've seen go up since then. 100' foot down the sides and 50' across.

Fuck you, asshole.

So you built a masterpiece of a fence and were too stupid to close the gate. Got it. :roll:

88 wrote:I've built or helped to build a few decks. The one pictured in the thread above does not seem that whacked out to me (I confess, I grew up in Appalachia). It looks like the posts are supported on concrete piers, which is an acceptable way to do it. There appear to be carriage bolts holding the stringers to the posts, which should be fine. And there are joist hangers holding the joists to the stringers. I cannot see how the ledgers are fixed to the house. If that was done properly, the structure should be fine. Are there any finished pictures?

The shit all over the ground is fairly typical when someone is doing it themselves. My projects usually include a liberal sprinkling of empty beer cans, fast-food bags and a shitty boom box blasting out tunes. I say rack it. Anyone who tries to pull one off like that deserves a rack.

Thanks, 88. You are very observant and correct.

The ladders are holding up nothing. The deck is through bolted with A LOT of 3/8 carriage bolts. The foundation wall, which wags, the resident foundation expert is so fond on, it nice thick and straight as an arrow. It has held up casa de smack since 1958 and I suspect it will still be holding it up in 2058. I do admit it is asthetically challenged as it was formed with 2Xs which later took up duty as various parts of the house frame. And the deck itself is overbuilt. Joists are 2x10s when 2x8s were to code.

As for the sprinkled about cords, hoses, tools, etc, yeah, I am a bit of a slob while working, well, maybe more than a bit. And the oil container, I was just getting ready to run that push mower up onto the ramps, which, somehow escaped the pic, for an oil change...or something like that.

And the lovely dirt mound, was partly from digging post holes, partly from my well which was recently dug up (foot valve replacement). Rather than running casing to the surface like most folks do these days, the fukkers that dug it placed an upside down oil drum over the top of it and backfilled. Digging that fukker up by hand was fun. I dry laid concrete block around the well up to about 6 inches below the surface. A few years afterwards, the new ft valve failed and I got to dig it up again in january. Every try to dig through a ft of frozen ground?

Concerning the 6x6s (not 8s), standard way of doing it in these parts is dig the hole, drop in a sonotube, fill concrete to above grade and anchor bolt plates designed for such a purpose. If I had it to do again though, I would have went with bigger sonotubes. Wags' method of jjust digging a hole, throwing some gravel in the bottom and dropping in a post is cheap and dirty, but not as good as that post will eventually rot. That method is prolly fine for S. missouri. Not so much in New England where you gotta go down 42 inches to keep frost heave from spitting them out of the ground.

I guess I will have to go out there and put up an after pic. Landscaping is still not gonna win any awards, but, the deck is fine.

Mace wrote:Smackaholic builds a sturdy deck and gets criticized by someone who can't even build a decent dog pen. Funny.

Yeah..gate and dog smack, with some swamp cooler references thrown in will never not get old ! Even after all these years ...

Especially when he's stupid enough to critique smackaholic's deck construction project and questioning whether smackoholic's foundation was poured concrete.....like smackaholic wouldn't know. But who would expect anything less from Wags?

War Wagon wrote:Why are you not a fan of poured concrete walls and what's your preference? Done properly by an experienced contractor with decent equipment, a poured concrete foundation is easily the sturdiest, fastest and most efficient method. And you get a flat wall, unlike that atrocity in the Connecticut backwoods.

There really isn't a better method for building a foundation wall. There are some very nice cut granite foundations on older expensive homes in these parts and while they will be around long after a poured concrete wall crumbles, they ain't exactly water tight. and they are prohibitively expensive.

Wags, as I have told you a time or three, the forms were obviously home made, but, not with pallets. Dude used various 2Xs. I know this because I have joists and rafters here and there with 55 year old concrete stains on them. Rack that frugal old yankee. His walls are still doing their job years after he is dead. I do hope to eventually get around to sheathing the walls with some siding it with vinyl siding, if I can get a decent match of the existing vinyl. This would make the basement a good bit warmer/cooler in the winter/summer. i do kind of miss my last house's basement which was just about completely below grade as it was toasty warm in the winter and cool in the summer.

Mace wrote:Especially when he's stupid enough to critique smackaholic's deck construction project and questioning whether smackoholic's foundation was poured concrete.....like smackaholic wouldn't know. But who would expect anything less from Wags?

quite the relentless, smarmy fuck is Mace.

i stand by my takes, you're a cunt who adds nothing.

which part of "Fuck you" didn't you understand?

No wonder you get into endless, useless battles with trolls trying to prove your manhood... you really are that stupid.

smackaholic wrote:
Wags, as I have told you a time or three, the forms were obviously home made, but, not with pallets. Dude used various 2Xs. I know this because I have joists and rafters here and there with 55 year old concrete stains on them.

yes, and I've read that a time or three.

bottom line is that your foundation is crumbling and rather than spend mega bucks on a fortress of a deck, you should've relocated. Quit throwing good money after bad, you can't upgrade a poor foundation. If it has lasted 50 years, consider yourself fortunate.

War Wagon wrote:

Mace wrote:Especially when he's stupid enough to critique smackaholic's deck construction project and questioning whether smackoholic's foundation was poured concrete.....like smackaholic wouldn't know. But who would expect anything less from Wags?

quite the relentless, smarmy fuck is Mace.

i stand by my takes, you're a cunt who adds nothing.

which part of "Fuck you" didn't you understand?

No wonder you get into endless, useless battles with trolls trying to prove your manhood... you really are that stupid.

After a decade of folks reading your stupidity on message boards, you should be used to having them laugh at you. At least you're consistent. Have a nice week.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:My god, what have I done. :doh:

I checked out the link and I have to call bullshit that none of them are in Hawaii.

Also, while I suppose it's a moderately cool concept, I could never get a good night's sleep in 14...

War Wagon wrote:c'mon 'holic, get in here and defend your deck building prowess, or did you hire it done?

While you're at it, explain those green streaks down the siding on either side of that window. I just noticed that as well and won't even hazard a guess as to the cause. But if I did, it would probably be some disgusting anecdote involving Mrs. Cockaholic in either the bedroom or bathroom.

It's called mold. It has a tendency to grow on the north side of things. It particularly fond of vinyl. It as definitely a bit overdue to be beat back with the pressure washer in that pic.

I've already defended my deck building prowess. I wonder who's going to defend your rampant dumbfukkery?

War Wagon wrote:

smackaholic wrote:
Wags, as I have told you a time or three, the forms were obviously home made, but, not with pallets. Dude used various 2Xs. I know this because I have joists and rafters here and there with 55 year old concrete stains on them.

yes, and I've read that a time or three.

bottom line is that your foundation is crumbling and rather than spend mega bucks on a fortress of a deck, you should've relocated. Quit throwing good money after bad, you can't upgrade a poor foundation. If it has lasted 50 years, consider yourself fortunate.

besides jockeying forms around a warehouse, could you tell us about your concrete judging credentials? They must be pretty fukking good if they give you the ability to diagnose its structural soundness from a pic posted on the interwebs.

Perhaps I will make a video of me whacking it with a sledge hammer? Would that sway your opinion?

Feel free to stop by if you are ever in the U&R and pound your mellon against it.

Sam, the bleach solution is a good one except that I have aluminum storm windows and I fear the bleach might do nasty things to them. If you have modern vinyl clad or better yet wooden ones, spray away with the bleach.

smackaholic wrote:could you tell us about your concrete judging credentials?

I've worked in the concrete forming industry for 30 years come April. I know how to pour a quality foundation and what a sub-standard one looks like.

Perhaps I will make a video of me whacking it with a sledge hammer?

No question, I would pay to see that.

War Wagon wrote:

smackaholic wrote:could you tell us about your concrete judging credentials?

I've worked in the concrete forming industry for 30 years come April. I know how to pour a quality foundation and what a sub-standard one looks like.

Perhaps I will make a video of me whacking it with a sledge hammer?

No question, I would pay to see that.

You've shuffled forms around a warehouse for 30 years. You have probably spoken to folks that know a thing or two about pouring concrete foundations, but you've displayed here that you yourself know jackshit in your assertion that it is a spackled over block wall. It is not. It is solid concrete. i guess I need to take more close up pics of the cutoff ties that stick through it.

smackaholic wrote:It is solid concrete.

suuure it is, sparky.

i guess I need to take more close up pics of the cutoff ties that stick through it.

Yes, do. This I want to see. Better yet, take a pic of the cross section after you've taken that sledgehammer to it. Stand under the deck so your house doesn't cave in, leaving you a paraplegic typing thru a straw... wait, you already do that. Nevermind.

btw, saying I've "shuffled forms around a warehouse for 30 years" is akin to saying you've shuffled envelopes around a post office for however long you've worked for the USPS. It's ignorant, so I won't say it. But feel free to type "gubmint" to your hearts content.

Same shit different day, here in the T1B town square.
Wags on his knees in his barrel, while everyone strolls by
and drops their cocks in one hole or the other for him
to pleasure.

Don't you have somebody on Twitter to be following?

as opposed to sinking the posts into the ground in a well of concrete?

You NEVER put wood into the ground, thats what a concrete base and proper Simpson holders are for. There are these nasty little termite bugs everywhere and rotting wood from moisture. We are talking about a deck here not some cheap ass fence. I'm just hoping he used the proper deck screws.

proper square headed deck screws, all eleventy billion of them. still have about half a box that i use here and there.

Y2K wrote:

as opposed to sinking the posts into the ground in a well of concrete?

You NEVER put wood into the ground, thats what a concrete base and proper Simpson holders are for. There are these nasty little termite bugs everywhere and rotting wood from moisture. We are talking about a deck here not some cheap ass fence. I'm just hoping he used the proper deck screws.

do not step to wags on anything that has anything to do with concrete, or at least anything to do with shuffling things around awarehouse that are concrete related.

Y2K wrote:You NEVER put wood into the ground, thats what a concrete base and proper Simpson holders are for. There are these nasty little termite bugs everywhere and rotting wood from moisture. We are talking about a deck here not some cheap ass fence. I'm just hoping he used the proper deck screws.

You can expect to be written up by War Wagon, T1B Internet Building Inspector, if you ever post a picture of your deck. Hope you have deep pockets.