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Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 12:15 am
by smackaholic
As most of you fukks know I am in the Navy Reserves. Have managed to get through the last 11+ years without being activated. It's not that I've been ducking it, just that I haven't raised my hand.

Well, I just raised it. Did it for a few reasons. First off, I actually do believe it is my duty, especially since I have been for some of our imperialism fighting to bring democracy, freedom and maybe even indoor plumbing to some of the worlds 3rd world hellholes. I do however wish we would close up shop in Afghanistan.

There are a few other reasons. Becoming post 9-11 GI bill eligible would be kinda nice as it is transferrable to kids. I wonder if there is a cockblocking major offered at any schools?

Another reason is my boss is a douche. On the one hand he tells me how valuable I am, then he pulls shit like writing me up for a ridiculous letter of the OSHA law violation. it was something incredibly stupid that I or any tech at work has done a million times, but, the latest draconian OSHA regs make it a violation. And I was the lucky one to be made an example of to show how concerned they are for our safety. :meds: :meds: :meds: :meds: :meds: :meds: :meds: :meds: :meds:

So, after that little episode, I decided maybe I will let him find out how handy I am to have around by going away for a year or maybe a bit more.

Lets just hope 6 months from now I am not sitting in some shithole in east bumfukkistan wondering why the hell I gave up steady pussy for awhile.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 12:18 am
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
You just want to get away from Mrs. 'Holic.
Admit it.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 12:20 am
by Wolfman
Wasn't lesson #1 in the military never raise your hand. Like, who wants to go out on patrol tonight?

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 12:23 am
by smackaholic
Martyred wrote:You just want to get away from Mrs. 'Holic.
Admit it.
Shhhhhhhhhh. Don't tell her.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 12:26 am
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Anyway, RACK your service, 'holic.

P.S. ~ I hope your unit finds the perpetrators of the heinous atrocity...

Image

...and brings them to justice. NEVER FORGET.

I would like to secure naming rights to the eventual Hollywood blockbuster based on these events. I'm think of calling it Zero Dark Safety Hazard.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 12:30 am
by smackaholic
Wolfman wrote:Wasn't lesson #1 in the military never raise your hand. Like, who wants to go out on patrol tonight?
Never
Again
Volunteer
Yourself

Yeah, I have heard that one a time or two, but, some people never learn.

Being an Electronics Tech, I kinda doubt I'll find myself on patrol anywhere. I susppose I could end up doing convoy duty somewhere which does make getting dead a slim possibility, but, it's not that likely. Most likely end up in a typical Navy IA (individual Augmentation) billet. Since there isn't much of a Taliban Navy, the US Navy serves as a temp agency for the Army. Generally, the Army knows better than to try to make infantry out of old squid reservists, so they put us behind a desk somewhere shuffling paper where we're less likely to get ourselves or someone else dead.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 12:32 am
by smackaholic
Martyred wrote:Anyway, RACK your service, 'holic.

P.S. ~ I hope your unit finds the perpetrators of the heinous atrocity...

Image

...and brings them to justice. NEVER FORGET.

I would like to secure naming rights to the eventual Hollywood blockbuster based on these events. I'm think of calling it Zero Dark Safety Hazard.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Fukk, I oughta feel right at home in some shantytown in Afghanistan.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 12:35 am
by Toddowen
smackaholic wrote:
Another reason is my boss is a douche. On the one hand he tells me how valuable I am, then he pulls shit like writing me up for a ridiculous letter of the OSHA law violation. it was something incredibly stupid that I or any tech at work has done a million times, but, the latest draconian OSHA regs make it a violation. And I was the lucky one to be made an example of to show how concerned they are for our safety. :meds: :meds: :meds: :meds: :meds: :meds: :meds: :meds: :meds:

So, after that little episode, I decided maybe I will let him find out how handy I am to have around by going away for a year or maybe a bit more.


A little advice from one who has dealt quite often with situations such as yours, smakoholic.

If you don't like the way things are, then you've made the correct choice in leaving. Besides, you're not as essential as you would like to believe. You're fifty fucking years old and should be bending until your last clavicle is shot in trying to hold onto your job. You are overpaid and complain too much. Why in fucks name would any company hire you?

Best of luck and no hard feelings.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 12:46 am
by smackaholic
Toddowen wrote:A little advice from one who has dealt quite often with situations such as yours, smakoholic.

If you don't like the way things are, then you've made the correct choice in leaving. Besides, you're not as essential as you would like to believe. You're fifty fucking years old and should be bending until your last clavicle is shot in trying to hold onto your job. You are overpaid and complain too much. Why in fucks name would any company hire you?

Best of luck and no hard feelings.
Don't worry Todd, I doubt there is much in this place that could harden my feelings at all.

And, I haven't left, nor do I have plans to. I actually like my job almost all the time. I am likely overpaid a bit, especially in vacation benefits and I am not dumb enough to not know this. As for the douche boss, I suspect I will outlast him there as I have the last two bosses. One a douche, the other a hell of a nice guy, a little too nice for his own good actually, so he was sacked. Unfortunately his boss, the director of maintenance is a colossal douche, but, I have little dealings directly with him.

So, do the OSHA nazis make life difficult in the machine shop world?

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 12:59 am
by Toddowen
smackaholic wrote:
Toddowen wrote:A little advice from one who has dealt quite often with situations such as yours, smakoholic.

If you don't like the way things are, then you've made the correct choice in leaving. Besides, you're not as essential as you would like to believe. You're fifty fucking years old and should be bending until your last clavicle is shot in trying to hold onto your job. You are overpaid and complain too much. Why in fucks name would any company hire you?

Best of luck and no hard feelings.
Don't worry Todd, I doubt there is much in this place that could harden my feelings at all.

And, I haven't left, nor do I have plans to. I actually like my job almost all the time. I am likely overpaid a bit, especially in vacation benefits and I am not dumb enough to not know this. As for the douche boss, I suspect I will outlast him there as I have the last two bosses. One a douche, the other a hell of a nice guy, a little too nice for his own good actually, so he was sacked. Unfortunately his boss, the director of maintenance is a colossal douche, but, I have little dealings directly with him.

So, do the OSHA nazis make life difficult in the machine shop world?
:lol:

smacko, I dare not even give a hint as to the situation here, nor risk sending a PM. Gestapo is everywhere.

Maybe someday over a beer. But rest assured that things are tough all over. And what makes me stay here is that I've seen it much worse. That, and the fact that I can walk to work in a little over an hour.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 1:12 am
by Toddowen
I also take comfort in the knowledge that I am not alone here. I'd say something like 90% here loathe a certain 5%. The other five are just indifferent or daft.

You are not alone



BIG hug! :lol:




Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 1:25 am
by smackaholic
Jsc810 wrote:Rack you, Smackaholic. You are a legitimate hero, and we sincerely appreciate your service.

Godspeed your safe return.
No hero here, chip. Just think it is my turn to step up to the plate....and maybe piss my A-hole boss off a bit. A break from that fukker will do me good.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 1:28 am
by titlover
smackaholic wrote:
Jsc810 wrote:Rack you, Smackaholic. You are a legitimate hero, and we sincerely appreciate your service.

Godspeed your safe return.
No hero here, chip. Just think it is my turn to step up to the plate....and maybe piss my A-hole boss off a bit. A break from that fukker will do me good.

have fun working on all those broke ass radios. :)



be safe.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 1:33 am
by MgoBlue-LightSpecial
You're an irresponsible moron. The only good that could come from this is that you get both your hands blown off so you can't post here anymore.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 1:35 am
by Screw_Michigan
Suckaholic, you should get your self on an Ohio-class SLBM vessel.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 1:35 am
by smackaholic
fixing shitty radios would be fine by me. better than pushing papers around a desk somewhere.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 1:37 am
by smackaholic
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:You're an irresponsible moron. The only good that could come from this is that you get both your hands blown off so you can't post here anymore.
I love you too, bro.

Being handless would likely be 100% disability. It ain't KC Scott money, but, I could prolly get by OK on it.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 1:41 am
by Cuda
smackaholic wrote: Lets just hope 6 months from now I am not sitting in some shithole in east bumfukkistan wondering why the hell I gave up steady pussy for awhile.
The goats are very pretty and smell better than the women

or so i've beenm told

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 1:44 am
by smackaholic
KC Scott wrote:Well, I'm glad you've thought this through - you must have spent what 15, 20 minutes making this life altering decision?

Rack you anyway as this sounds like it has potential to turn into an aqua version of.....


Image
been mulling this around in my dome pretty much since I went into the reserves (2 weeks before 9/11, nice timing, huh?). Today was just that last little bit to make me say, wtf, let's do it. I've even run it by the OL. She is actually supportive, sort of, but, I think that will last until about 10 minutes after I leave. Oh well, it'll toughen her up a bit. And maybe she'll be a little nicer and throw me some oral before I ship out.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 1:59 am
by smackaholic
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 2:01 am
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
KC Scott wrote:
One thing in your favor is if you have to pass a PT spelling test they'll ship your ass back PDQ

ftfy

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 2:13 am
by MgoBlue-LightSpecial
Jsc810 wrote:And we appreciate it.
Speak for yourself, I don't appreciate it. He's more than halfway to dead, has a wife and kids at home, and is only doing it for self-serving purposes to get a respite from his shitty life. You aren't 19 years old. Your responsibility is to your family, not to your country, a country which does not need your stupid, broken down old ass anyway. Leave the heavy lifting overseas to those younger, more capable and infinitely more intelligent. A dumbass who still hasn't figured out the difference between its and it's, I don't trust to even fix broken radios.

And who are you kidding. It's the Navy, there won't be any shortage of blowjobs.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 2:16 am
by Smackie Chan
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:It's the Navy, there won't be any shortage of blowjobs.
And plenty of bilge water to get the taste out of his mouth.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 3:15 am
by Diego in Seattle
Jsc810 wrote:
smackaholic wrote:No hero here, chip. Just think it is my turn to step up to the plate....and maybe piss my A-hole boss off a bit. A break from that fukker will do me good.
You are a hero. You are serving our country, volunteering to do so. You are leaving your family and the safety of our country, and are going to who knows where. And you're doing this when our country is at war. You are putting your life at risk for us.

You're a hero. And we appreciate it. Be safe.
Couldn't have said it better myself.

Thank you, smackaholic.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 3:25 am
by Toddowen
All you liberal left wingers need to stop buttering up to our military.


You don't think they see through your shit? Guess again.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 3:58 am
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
smackaholic wrote::lol: :lol: :lol:

I hope your ship sinks you have a great time and you get eaten by sharks with AIDS post lots of pictures when you get back!

Get mangled by a propeller Stay safe, you wheezing bag of shit my dear old acquaintance.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 4:02 am
by R-Jack
KC Scott wrote:He wants his wife to Blow him Chip, not you
Chip has so much admiration for sucaholic he doesn't know if he wants to gay marry him or abort his fetus

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 4:15 am
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
R-Jack wrote:
KC Scott wrote:He wants his wife to Blow him Chip, not you
Chip has so much admiration for sucaholic he doesn't know if he wants to gay marry him or abort his fetus

Solid GOLD

:bode:

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 4:22 am
by Dr_Phibes
He's got competition from Diego now, there's an odd triangle.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 10:00 am
by smackaholic
Smackie Chan wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:It's the Navy, there won't be any shortage of blowjobs.
And plenty of bilge water to get the taste out of his mouth.
I trust there will be plenty of village people tonight in toontown in my dishonor?

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 10:10 am
by smackaholic
Martyred wrote:
R-Jack wrote:
KC Scott wrote:He wants his wife to Blow him Chip, not you
Chip has so much admiration for sucaholic he doesn't know if he wants to gay marry him or abort his fetus

Solid GOLD

:bode:
:lol: :lol:

I'll second that, but, I just don't see it happening for a few reasons.

A. I can't see myself marrying a lawyer, even a seemingly decent one like Chip.

3th. If I was to go the butt sex way, think I wanna find someone with a more sturdy GI track than chip. Dude gets that thing operated on like about every other tuesday. I ain't sticking my junk in there for fear of finding a syringe or scalpel accidently left behind. Ouch.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 10:14 am
by smackaholic
Smackie Chan wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:It's the Navy, there won't be any shortage of blowjobs.
And plenty of bilge water to get the taste out of his mouth.
Sounds like you've experience in this matter. Thanks for the tip, but, I will stick to that horrible coffee. You know, the stuff in the army green cans that looks/tastes like it's been sitting in a warehouse since the korean war.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 10:21 am
by smackaholic
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
Jsc810 wrote:And we appreciate it.
Speak for yourself, I don't appreciate it. He's more than halfway to dead, has a wife and kids at home, and is only doing it for self-serving purposes to get a respite from his shitty life. You aren't 19 years old. Your responsibility is to your family, not to your country, a country which does not need your stupid, broken down old ass anyway. Leave the heavy lifting overseas to those younger, more capable and infinitely more intelligent. A dumbass who still hasn't figured out the difference between its and it's, I don't trust to even fix broken radios.

And who are you kidding. It's the Navy, there won't be any shortage of blowjobs.
A good bit of what you say is spot on, if I was going over there poking around for IEDs or plunking sandnogs. Leave that shit to the kids. But, for each one of them, there are 20 old dudes in the rear (have fun with that softball) doing boring logistical bullshit. We old fukks do that just fine.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 10:25 am
by smackaholic
Dr_Phibes wrote:He's got competition from Diego now, there's an odd triangle.
Pretty sure I'm too old for Diego.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 1:11 pm
by Wolfman
Maybe this outfit is up to the task.

Image

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 2:06 pm
by smackaholic
Sudden Sam wrote:Who's gonna take care of your lawn?
I thought they take care of themselves?

That daunting task will be up to CB. I need to get that fukker trained up on all sorts of home maintenance. I got some pretty good slopes in the yard. Lets hope he doesn't go sudden sam on me and end up a fukkin' cripple. Prolly ought to just disable my old rider mower while I am gone, or more accurately leave it disabled. It ate a drive belt last summer. I think it gave out from dry rot.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 3:01 pm
by Derron
Sudden Sam wrote:We recently moved and there's a 40 degree or so slope on one part of the yard (the lot was carved out of a hill and has about a ten foot hill on one side within the privacy fence, then again outside the fence on the other side down into the woods). I've been cutting it with the push mower, but ran the rider a little ways along it yesterday.

My body shuddered and told me to never go near that fucking hill again.
Here is a little hint for you Sam. I ran landscape maintenance operations for others and myself for 25 years. Our insurance carriers and just plain common sense said that 23 degrees is a max slope you should try and run a mower or other slower speed equipment on. I tried walking up the banked corner at Charlotte Speedway back in 97, and that is 23 degrees and I could hardly stand up. Driving on it at 160mph was OK, but your rider is probably not going to hit that speed.

Keep doing it though, and let me know, because I will call dibs on you in the death pool.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 3:17 pm
by Mikey
OK fatso, I get it. You're trying to get back at me.

You bought my solar panels, now I get to pay your salary.

:evil:

Well fuck you. As of today I'm a 501(c)(4).

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 3:33 pm
by Mace
Rack Smackaholic for stepping up and thanks for your service to the country.

Re: Volunteered to mobilize today.

Posted: Fri May 17, 2013 3:56 pm
by Smackie Chan
smackaholic wrote:I got some pretty good slopes in the yard.
That's convenient. They're generally excellent landscapers & gardeners.