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News story from my hood...

Posted: Sat Sep 21, 2013 7:06 pm
by Dinsdale
Alrighty, then. A little hard to follow this one, but the jokes really write themselves.

http://www.katu.com/news/local/Police-N ... 59561.html

TIGARD, Ore. – A woman who thought she heard the word “gun” in a Bridgeport Village theater shouted the word, causing a panic and businesses at the mall to go into lockdown Friday night, police said.

Police responded to the mall, but Tigard Police Department spokesman Jim Wolf said there was never a weapon.

A police officer at the scene said the woman, who has post-traumatic stress disorder, was watching the movie "Prisoners" when the incident happened.

The incident started when a man in his 70s urinated on a 14-year-old boy during the movie, sparking a confrontation between the boy's father and the man, police said. The woman, not aware of what was going on, then shouted "gun," setting off a panic inside the theater and causing moviegoers to flee.

"She was having an episode because of the movie and the emotion in the theater with the lights out," Lt. Erick Boothby said. "She seemed very confused and upset over the whole matter."

Boothby said the teen's father "took the older gentleman to the ground and held him there." That dust-up involved yelling and screaming, the spokesman said.

Most of the 100 patrons in one theater of the multiplex ran into the lobby and out the door after several people repeated the alarm, he said.

Businesses at the mall, including American Apparel, which is right next to the theater, went into lockdown.

Alcohol may have been a contributing factor in the man's decision to urinate on the boy, police said. No arrests were made.

Officers from other agencies were headed to the theater when it was determined to be a false alarm.

“This was a good dry run for a real theater shooting,” Wolf said.

The last line from the cop is the icing on the cake.

Re: News story from my hood...

Posted: Sat Sep 21, 2013 9:02 pm
by Cuda
Diego certainly looks younger than his age then, and it seems that he's doubled, if not tripled his upper age limit

Re: News story from my hood...

Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 12:59 am
by mvscal
Diego doesn't pee on young boys, Cuda. He just shoves his cock up their asses.

Re: News story from my hood...

Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 1:47 am
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
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Re: News story from my hood...

Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 1:54 am
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
SATURDAY NIGHT DOUBLE-SHOT


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Re: News story from my hood...

Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 4:32 am
by Dinsdale
A liquored up 70 year old whips it out in the theater, wizzes on a teen boy, dad rather rightly issue a whoopin (because I ain't believing the "took him to the ground" thing), psycho drama queen starts yelling fire GUN! in a crowded theater, panic ensues, shnazzy mall starts going into lockdown, and the guy my local PD chose to be their "spokesman" decides to dismiss the whole thing as a good training exercise that he refered to as a "dry run," a claim that's doubtful the aforementioned 14 year old would agree with...

and you guys come up with Diego resets.

Fuck.

Re: News story from my hood...

Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 4:10 pm
by BSmack
The way the average T1B poster read Dinsadale's post.
Dinsdale wrote:A liquored up 70 year old whips it out in the theater, wizzes on a teen boy,
OMG A DIEGO RESET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dad rather rightly issue a whoopin (because I ain't believing the "took him to the ground" thing), psycho drama queen starts yelling fire GUN! in a crowded theater, panic ensues, shnazzy mall starts going into lockdown, and the guy my local PD chose to be their "spokesman" decides to dismiss the whole thing as a good training exercise that he refered to as a "dry run," a claim that's doubtful the aforementioned 14 year old would agree with

Re: News story from my hood...

Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 6:59 pm
by mvscal
So what's the problem?

Re: News story from my hood...

Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 9:31 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
I think B_Smack was trying to line up Diego for some babysitting so he could concentrate on doing his radio show and we scared Diego off.


Trust me, Bri. You'd get your son back looking like a deflated Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon character...we did you a solid on this one, bro.

Re: News story from my hood...

Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 10:25 pm
by Cuda
Dinsdale wrote:A liquored up 70 year old whips it out in the theater, wizzes on a teen boy, dad rather rightly issue a whoopin (because I ain't believing the "took him to the ground" thing), psycho drama queen starts yelling fire GUN! in a crowded theater, panic ensues, shnazzy mall starts going into lockdown, and the guy my local PD chose to be their "spokesman" decides to dismiss the whole thing as a good training exercise that he refered to as a "dry run," a claim that's doubtful the aforementioned 14 year old would agree with...

and you guys come up with Diego resets.

Fuck.
if we tried to drop Luther resets, nobody would get them. Besides, Luther's retired or playing dead or something

Re: News story from my hood...

Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 11:09 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Cuda wrote: if we tried to drop Luther resets, nobody would get them. Besides, Luther's retired or playing dead or something
Replace "Luther" with "Norm" and you've got yourself a deal, comrade-worker:

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Re: News story from my hood...

Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 11:18 pm
by Cuda
Scanner...?

You've got to be trolling, comrade

Re: News story from my hood...

Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 11:36 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
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Re: News story from my hood...

Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 11:58 am
by BSmack
Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:Replace "Luther" with "Norm" and you've got yourself a deal, comrade-worker:
Which reminds me, George Wendt is still alive. How is that possible? He makes Orson Welles look like Richard Simmons.