I got over on some jerkoff recently
Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 2:39 am
So every year the H St. NE festival goes on in DC, yes, DC. Can you believe I live in such a great city? Because it's in DC, this is a pretty big deal. It's kind of like your average flyover country arts festival, except bigger, edgier and more packed. Basically around 3-4 pm it gets overly full, so you have to get there early.
Anyway, in addition to all the food trucks and restaurants from across the city that set up there, all the restaurants on H St. put tables out on the sidewalk, etc.
So we decided to get a couple tacos at this place that was pretty busy. It was "authentic" tacos, though as we have discussed, we prefer the "american" tex-mex style with cheese and everything.
This place was pretty busy, most of the seats were taken. So we go up to this first picnic table, Rachel asks if these seats are taken? "No, our friends are gonna sit here." Notice how they didn't say "our friends ARE sitting here."
Second table, same thing. "Oh, our friends are going to be here." So the third fucking table we go up to, this dipshit says the same thing.
So I sit down, and I pull out my g/f's seat and tell her to sit down. We only have one taco each and we're only going to sit there for 5 min. We aren't going to be chilling, pounding beers or anything. So we sit down. Toolbox starts chirping at me. "Didn't you just hear me? Those seats are taken. Oh, so you're just ignoring me now."
Which, of course, I am. This is definitely going into Curb territory. Dude keeps chirping at me.
"Hey asshole..."
You need to remember that the H St. 'hood is home to Gallaudet Univ, the nation's only exclusively deaf school. So I IMMEDIATELY do this...
And I look him straight in the eyes and go "I'M DEAF."
Which IMMEDIATELY shuts him the fuck up. "Oh, I'm sorry, my bad."
At first, I didn't know if he was being sarcastic or not, considering I said that in PERFECT ENGLISH because, of course, I'm not deaf. But he was serious. I held the gaze a little bit longer. He shut the fuck up. Then I started talking to my g/f about this survey ranked Wisconsin home to the fattest women in America. And him and his woman walked away, like the jerkoffs they are.
Let's just say, even in other parts of the city, I'll be breaking that card out more often. Fucking asshole. SORRY, THERE IS NO LAW REGARDING SAVING SEATS. IF I WANT TO BE A DICK AND TAKE YOUR SEAT, I WILL. Until your friends pay for a fucking product and get here, I'm not going to stand up to eat for jerkoffs who haven't arrived yet.
Fuck you.
Anyway, in addition to all the food trucks and restaurants from across the city that set up there, all the restaurants on H St. put tables out on the sidewalk, etc.
So we decided to get a couple tacos at this place that was pretty busy. It was "authentic" tacos, though as we have discussed, we prefer the "american" tex-mex style with cheese and everything.
This place was pretty busy, most of the seats were taken. So we go up to this first picnic table, Rachel asks if these seats are taken? "No, our friends are gonna sit here." Notice how they didn't say "our friends ARE sitting here."
Second table, same thing. "Oh, our friends are going to be here." So the third fucking table we go up to, this dipshit says the same thing.
So I sit down, and I pull out my g/f's seat and tell her to sit down. We only have one taco each and we're only going to sit there for 5 min. We aren't going to be chilling, pounding beers or anything. So we sit down. Toolbox starts chirping at me. "Didn't you just hear me? Those seats are taken. Oh, so you're just ignoring me now."
Which, of course, I am. This is definitely going into Curb territory. Dude keeps chirping at me.
"Hey asshole..."
You need to remember that the H St. 'hood is home to Gallaudet Univ, the nation's only exclusively deaf school. So I IMMEDIATELY do this...
And I look him straight in the eyes and go "I'M DEAF."
Which IMMEDIATELY shuts him the fuck up. "Oh, I'm sorry, my bad."
At first, I didn't know if he was being sarcastic or not, considering I said that in PERFECT ENGLISH because, of course, I'm not deaf. But he was serious. I held the gaze a little bit longer. He shut the fuck up. Then I started talking to my g/f about this survey ranked Wisconsin home to the fattest women in America. And him and his woman walked away, like the jerkoffs they are.
Let's just say, even in other parts of the city, I'll be breaking that card out more often. Fucking asshole. SORRY, THERE IS NO LAW REGARDING SAVING SEATS. IF I WANT TO BE A DICK AND TAKE YOUR SEAT, I WILL. Until your friends pay for a fucking product and get here, I'm not going to stand up to eat for jerkoffs who haven't arrived yet.
Fuck you.
