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A Scriptural Technicality

Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2014 1:29 am
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Okay poptart, I think I may have stumped your god on this one...

Although the Bible commands the man not to "spill his seed" in the dirt, what if he uses...



...a Fleshlight!

Image




a-ha!

Re: A Scriptural Technicality

Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2014 6:48 am
by poptart
Matthew 5:27-28
Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.





The fleshlight user is an adulterer as well as a jack off.

Throw loser in there as well, and you've got the trinity of trouble.

Re: A Scriptural Technicality

Posted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 10:16 pm
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
poptart wrote:
Throw loser in there as well, and you've got the trinity of trouble.

Even with the Stealth model?

I think that's a "gray area" at best...

Re: A Scriptural Technicality

Posted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 10:20 pm
by Screw_Michigan
Stealth?

:?

Re: A Scriptural Technicality

Posted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 10:31 pm
by Jay in Phoenix
Don't worry too much about poptart Shlomart, he's just going through a "I'm all serious and shit" spell.

Actually, the Stealth light would be right up his alley. You might need to adjust the light so it slants a bit.

Re: A Scriptural Technicality

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 2:12 am
by Shlomart Ben Yisrael
If man is of the "flesh"...

And Jesus is of the "light"...








think about it, people

:shock:

Re: A Scriptural Technicality

Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2014 3:28 pm
by MgoBlue-LightSpecial
poptart wrote:But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Do you ask for the Lord's forgiveness immediately after participating in rank'em threads?

Re: A Scriptural Technicality

Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 12:03 am
by poptart
Pull up any old rank 'em thread.
See if i ranked 'em.

I doubt that you'll find one where I did.

Re: A Scriptural Technicality

Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 12:22 am
by MgoBlue-LightSpecial
My apologies, old pal. I naively assumed that all citizenry of .net engages in a circle jerk of depravity on a regular basis.

So what you are saying is, you avoid glances and lustful thoughts of attractive women, yet... have no problem with bowing down to worship a dude?

Is that what you're telling me?

:shock:

Re: A Scriptural Technicality

Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 12:56 am
by poptart
I'm a sinner like everyone else.

People fail and perish not because they participated in a rank 'em thread.
People fail and perish because it is not possible for the created one to live apart from the Creator.

A fish must live in the water.
A tree must remain in the ground.
Man must live with God.

It's very simple to take the step to get back with the Creator.
No cost, no obligation.

It's heartbreaking to see people remain in anguish and failure, when it is SO easy to get out.

Re: A Scriptural Technicality

Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 1:26 pm
by Goober McTuber
poptart wrote:t's heartbreaking to see people remain in anguish and failure, when it is SO easy to get out.
Todd, you're still lurking, right?


Image

Re: A Scriptural Technicality

Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 11:12 pm
by MgoBlue-LightSpecial
poptart wrote:I'm a sinner like everyone else.

People fail and perish not because they participated in a rank 'em thread.
People fail and perish because it is not possible for the created one to live apart from the Creator.

A fish must live in the water.
A tree must remain in the ground.
Man must live with God.

It's very simple to take the step to get back with the Creator.
No cost, no obligation.

It's heartbreaking to see people remain in anguish and failure, when it is SO easy to get out.
Artful deflection, my friend. Nicely done...

Re: A Scriptural Technicality

Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 3:33 pm
by smackaholic
Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:Okay poptart, I think I may have stumped your god on this one...

Although the Bible commands the man not to "spill his seed" in the dirt, what if he uses...



...a Fleshlight!

Image




a-ha!
My guess is that spilling your seed into the vagina model is OK. But the mouth and butthole? That makes you a straight up sodomite.

Not sure what to think of the stealth mode.