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OAKLAND RAIDERS - #1 in Power Rankings

Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 6:39 pm
by Sirfindafold
http://cover32.com/raiders/2014/03/18/p ... n-the-nfl/

While the NFL’s free agency period is fun, providing every team in the league a reason to be hopeful about next season, there is a sobering reality about professional sports that comes through during this time of year. In the end, players are just interchangeable parts.

Loyalty, from either the teams or the athletes, doesn’t even enter into the equation. Being a part of the community doesn’t matter. Staying in one place for an entire career is a silly, utopian ideal. It’s all about the almighty dollar.

In the end, Jerry Seinfeld was right; sports fans really are rooting for laundry. They’re cheering for the jerseys that someone who might as well be anonymous has been asked to don on that particular day. The affinity lies with the team colors, not the players.

So on that note, it seems appropriate to rank NFL teams based on their laundry. If that’s truly what fans are rooting for, then it’s time to determine which franchise is providing the best option for loyalists to get behind.

1. Oakland Raiders – There isn’t a uniform in all of sports that more clearly defines a franchise than the silver and black. Simple. Classic. And intimidating. Every player looks a little better when they don the Raiders colors.

2. Indianapolis Colts – The uniform hasn’t changed since the Colts were in Baltimore, a sign that the design has been on the mark from the get-go. It’s understated, in a good way, with just blue and white, plus the über-identifiable horseshoe logo.

3. San Diego Chargers – While the navy blue getups weren’t much to get excited about, the powder-blue version of the Bolts’ unis is just outstanding. Not only isn’t it sharp looking, but it just seems to go perfectly with a team located in San Diego.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers – Black and yellow is always a great combination, something the Steelers do well in a minimalistic way. And their helmet, with the variation of the U.S. Steel logo on only one side, is unique in a subtle way.

5. Seattle Seahawks – The Seahawks provide proof that uniforms can modernized and still be cool. They sprinkle in lime green without it becoming too much. And their shade of blue perfectly personifies the mood of the Pacific Northwest.

6. Dallas Cowboys – The star is perhaps the most identifiable logo in the entire league, something that is recognized throughout the world. If Dallas would wear their navy blue jerseys more often, they might be atop this list.

7. Denver Broncos – People scoffed when the Broncos broke out their new look back in 1997, but it quickly became the wave of the future, as high school and college teams followed suit. And now that they went back to orange jerseys, it’s fantastic.

8. San Francisco 49ers – The gold and red is a unique color combination, making it instantly identifiable with the Niners. And going back to the classic look, with the block numbers, was a stroke of genius in the Bay Area.

9. Cincinnati Bengals – Some people find the stripes obnoxious, but that’s just showing a lack of imagination. There isn’t a uniform in any sport that better represents a team’s mascot than what the Bengals wear every Sunday.

10. Chicago Bears – The navy blue jerseys that are so dark most people think they’re black. The iconic “C” on the helmet. The permanent ode to George Halas on the sleeve. The Bears uniforms ooze NFL history.

11. New York Jets – When the Jets switched back to their AFL uniforms a little over a decade ago, they shot up this list. It’s a classic green-and-white look, one that resonates with their fans base.

12. Kansas City Chiefs – The fact that the Chiefs uniforms have gone largely unchanged during the past four decades speaks to the quality of the look. Red and yellow may come in and out of style, but it’s always hip in K.C.

13. New York Giants – When the Giants went to the “NY” on the helmet, and made sure that the blue of their jerseys matched the blue of the headgear, it made all the difference in the world. This is a classic look.

14. Minnesota Vikings – Purple makes the Vikings distinct, which is a good thing. And the matted finish added to the helmet was a big plus, too. Previously, the had way too many shades of violet walking around on the field.

15. New Orleans Saints – Black and gold is a great combination. The fleur-de-lis decal is instantly identifiable with the Big Easy. And the Saints have stuck with their look through good times and bad; that’s a good thing.

16. Detroit Lions – How can anyone not like a uniform that boasts “Honolulu blue” as one of its primary colors. The modernized Lions logo actually works better, providing fans in Detroit some gear that is worth buying.

17. Cleveland Browns – Yes, the helmet is blah. Sure, the color scheme seems like a bad rug from the 1970s. But the tried-and-true look is still cool. And when the Browns actually wear brown, versus orange, it skyrockets up the charts.

18. Green Bay Packers – The Packers uniform is classic, which is the main thing it has going for it. But the color combination of green and yellow is simply hideous. No one would dare wear those hues anywhere other than Lambeau Field.

19. Philadelphia Eagles – The move to a darker green helped, putting to bed the ugly look that personified the Eagles in the Vet. And the Eagle decal on the helmet is beautiful in its simplicity. But the influx of black just makes zero sense.

20. Houston Texans – Most new teams have boasted hideous uniforms, so the Texans deserve credit for unveiling something that is solid. The color scheme is time-tested, which was smart. And their logo is one of the best in the league.

21. Miami Dolphins – Orange and aqua wouldn’t work anywhere else, but they go so well with the image of Miami that it’s hard to imagine the Dolphins in any other color scheme. The modified logo unveiled last season was an improvement, too.

22. New England Patriots – The Patriots new uniforms are a prime example of the clunky looks debuted in the early 1990s. There’s just nothing unique or identifiable about them. They pale in comparison to Pat the Patriot on the helmet.

23. Atlanta Falcons – Black and red is a winning combination. But the Falcons can’t seem to settle on a look. Black helmets or red helmets? How much of each in the uniform? It seems to change on an annual basis.

24. Washington Redskins – Even if someone can get past the racially insensitive logo on the helmet, the color scheme is putrid. When the Redskins break out the yellow pants, it’s just a hideous look. And what’s with the over-complicated helmet stripe?

25. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Most people panned the Bucs new look, but that’s mostly because people hate change. The folks in Tampa Bay deserve a little credit for going the route of college teams, trying to modernize their uniform.

26. Arizona Cardinals – When they made the bird on their helmet “angrier,” it helped a little bit. But there’s just nothing special about the Cardinals uniforms. The alternate black jerseys have some potential, though.

27. St. Louis Rams – In terms of sheer color scheme, the Rams miss the boat. But because they were the first football team to ever put a logo on their helmets, a look they’ve kept to this day, they get some credit for originality.

28. Tennessee Titans – The Titans uniforms have always felt like something that was developed in haste, thrown together when the team moved from Houston to Tennessee. That helmet logo is one of the worst in all of football, at any level.

29. Buffalo Bills – If the Bills would go back to their old AFL look, they’d boast one of the best unis in the league. But instead, they’ve tried to modernize, missing the mark with a wannabe Patriots look that is plain and lacking uniqueness.

30. Baltimore Ravens – Purple and black just doesn’t work together. It never has and it never will. The bird logo on the helmet is a big improvement over the ridiculous crest that they used after moving from Cleveland, but it’s still nothing special.

31. Carolina Panthers – Teal? Really? Talk about screaming 1993. If that didn’t give away when this team came into existence, the hideous font used in their end zone surely does. They might as well wear Zubaz pants on the field.

32. Jacksonville Jaguars – Like the Panthers, the Jags are stuck in the ’90s, using teal as a primary color. Unlike their expansion brethren, they’ve tried to adapt their uniform. But, the two-tone helmet is one of the worst looks ever to see the gridiron.

Re: OAKLAND RAIDERS - #1 in Power Rankings

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 3:46 am
by Goober McTuber
Wow. A Raider fanboy website says the Raider unis are the best. Sheer fucking genius there, slapnuts. Go fuck yourself.

Re: OAKLAND RAIDERS - #1 in Power Rankings

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 2:52 pm
by R-Jack
Goober McTuber wrote:Wow. A Raider fanboy website says the Raider unis are the best. Sheer fucking genius there, slapnuts. Go fuck yourself.
Try navigaing the site before you KYOA.

http://cover32.com/packers/2014/03/18/p ... y-packers/

Re: OAKLAND RAIDERS - #1 in Power Rankings

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 3:00 pm
by Sirfindafold
Image

Re: OAKLAND RAIDERS - #1 in Power Rankings

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 3:06 pm
by Screw_Michigan
Where this fuck has this idiot been the last few years? No doubt too busy getting his shit pushed in at Duh games than actually paying attention to the league.
29. Buffalo Bills – If the Bills would go back to their old AFL look, they’d boast one of the best unis in the league. But instead, they’ve tried to modernize, missing the mark with a wannabe Patriots look that is plain and lacking uniqueness.

Re: OAKLAND RAIDERS - #1 in Power Rankings

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 3:54 pm
by Goober McTuber
R-Jack wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:Wow. A Raider fanboy website says the Raider unis are the best. Sheer fucking genius there, slapnuts. Go fuck yourself.
Try navigaing the site before you KYOA.

http://cover32.com/packers/2014/03/18/p ... y-packers/
Oh, a thousand apologies. I would never bother clicking a link that Sirfindaclue posted. I just saw "raiders" in the url and assumed it was a place for [redundant]pea-brained Raider[/redundant] fan.

Re: OAKLAND RAIDERS - #1 in Power Rankings

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 4:31 pm
by Mikey
Image

Re: OAKLAND RAIDERS - #1 in Power Rankings

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:03 pm
by Sirfindafold
you can always count a McGoober Melt.

Re: OAKLAND RAIDERS - #1 in Power Rankings

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:36 pm
by Goober McTuber
Sirfindafold wrote:you can always count a McGoober Melt.
That's what you consider a "melt"? You really are incredibly stupid. :lol:

Re: OAKLAND RAIDERS - #1 in Power Rankings

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:44 pm
by Sirfindafold
right on cue.