T1B

Posted: **Tue Dec 09, 2014 10:09 am**

1. Why did the Brady Bunch have astroturf in their backyard?

2. Your life is on the line and one QB from all of NFL history has to win one game to save you. Who do you want?

3. What makes women happy?

4. You must give up -- coffee, your cell phone, all desserts. Which do you give up?

5. Who should be punched in the face?

6. Do you feel like an intense loser when you squat down and scoop your dog's turd up off the ground?

7. Who will be the next U.S. President?

8. Ginger or Mary Ann?

9. What is the best sports nickname (individual player, team, whatever...) of all time?

10. Where will the Dow Jones stand on December 9th, 2015?

Posted: **Tue Dec 09, 2014 11:37 am**

poptart wrote:1. Why did the Brady Bunch have astroturf in their backyard?
Because Greg smoked all the real grass.

2. Your life is on the line and one QB from all of NFL history has to win one game to save you. Who do you want?
Flash Gordon

3. What makes women happy?
Not a damned thing

4. You must give up -- coffee, your cell phone, all desserts. Which do you give up?
Cell phone

5. Who should be punched in the face?
People who come up with stupid question lists

6. Do you feel like an intense loser when you squat down and scoop your dog's turd up off the ground?
Only when it's in my yard

7. Who will be the next U.S. President?
Somebody with no leadership skills, again

8. Ginger or Mary Ann?
Mary Ann like a rabbit

9. What is the best sports nickname (individual player, team, whatever...) of all time
The One Man Gang

10. Where will the Dow Jones stand on December 9th, 2015?
In New York, dumbass

Posted: **Tue Dec 09, 2014 1:11 pm**

poptart wrote:1. Why did the Brady Bunch have astroturf in their backyard?

It was shot on an indoor set.

2. Your life is on the line and one QB from all of NFL history has to win one game to save you. Who do you want?

Warren Moon.

3. What makes women happy?

Shiny Things.

4. You must give up -- coffee, your cell phone, all desserts. Which do you give up?

Desserts. Don't touch my coffee. Don't touch my phone.

5. Who should be punched in the face?

Hilary Clinton.

6. Do you feel like an intense loser when you squat down and scoop your dog's turd up off the ground?

Only losers and faggots squat.

7. Who will be the next U.S. President?

The ebola virus.

8. Ginger or Mary Ann?

Mary Ann. Then Ginger.

9. What is the best sports nickname (individual player, team, whatever...) of all time?

Bernie "Boom-Boom" Geoffrion

10. Where will the Dow Jones stand on December 9th, 2015?

Dafuque do I know...ask $cott.

Posted: **Tue Dec 09, 2014 1:29 pm**

Warren Moon?

Is Dieter Brock your #2

#7

Does Tin F. Teddy know this?

Posted: **Tue Dec 09, 2014 1:30 pm**

poptart wrote:
#7

Does Tin F. Teddy know this?

Posted: **Tue Dec 09, 2014 3:13 pm**

1. Why did the Brady Bunch have astroturf in their backyard?
Who gives a big fat fucking wallaby cervix?

2. Your life is on the line and one QB from all of NFL history has to win one game to save you. Who do you want?
Joe Montana

3. What makes women happy?
Humor

4. You must give up -- coffee, your cell phone, all desserts. Which do you give up?
Desserts

5. Who should be punched in the face?
God

6. Do you feel like an intense loser when you squat down and scoop your dog's turd up off the ground?
I don't own a dog, but if I did, I would just have it shit on Dan Vogel's lawn, knowing he would do nothing about it.

7. Who will be the next U.S. President?
Billary

8. Ginger or Mary Ann?
1, 2

9. What is the best sports nickname (individual player, team, whatever...) of all time?
No Fly Zone

10. Where will the Dow Jones stand on December 9th, 2015?
If I knew, I wouldn't tell you.

Posted: **Tue Dec 09, 2014 4:01 pm**

1. Why did the Brady Bunch have astroturf in their backyard? Because it was Sherwood Fuck Shawrtz.

2. Your life is on the line and one QB from all of NFL history has to win one game to save you. Who do you want? Johnny Fucking U.

3. What makes women happy? My penis.

4. You must give up -- coffee, your cell phone, all desserts. Which do you give up? Coffee. Not even close. I never drink the stuff.

5. Who should be punched in the face? The person I am talking to right now.

6. Do you feel like an intense loser when you squat down and scoop your dog's turd up off the ground? My wife cleans the cat's litter box.

7. Who will be the next U.S. President? Rick Flair

8. Ginger or Mary Ann? Mary Ann

9. What is the best sports nickname (individual player, team, whatever...) of all time? Mean Joe

10. Where will the Dow Jones stand on December 9th, 2015? Somewhere between New Jersey and Connecticut

Posted: **Tue Dec 09, 2014 5:09 pm**

BSmack wrote:3. What makes women happy? My penis.

Certainly. Most women craving a dick immediately search out the first Fat Little Fuck® they can find.

Posted: **Tue Dec 09, 2014 7:53 pm**

1. Why did the Brady Bunch have astroturf in their backyard? -
Fake yard for a fake family.

2. Your life is on the line and one QB from all of NFL history has to win one game to save you. Who do you want? -
Jack Reynolds - Guy played on a busted leg, tough s.o.b.

3. What makes women happy? -
Money, pretty simple.

4. You must give up -- coffee, your cell phone, all desserts. Which do you give up? -
Coffee, easy. Never drank it, never will.

5. Who should be punched in the face? -
You mom. No scratch that...Moving Sale's mom!

6. Do you feel like an intense loser when you squat down and scoop your dog's turd up off the ground? -
No, I have people for that. They are brown.

7. Who will be the next U.S. President? -
Weird Al

8. Ginger or Mary Ann? -
Mary Ann, no contest.

9. What is the best sports nickname (individual player, team, whatever...) of all time? -
The Big Unit

10. Where will the Dow Jones stand on December 9th, 2015? -
It doesn't stand, silly person.

Posted: **Tue Dec 09, 2014 11:17 pm**

Jay wrote:2. Your life is on the line and one QB from all of NFL history has to win one game to save you. Who do you want? -
Jack Reynolds - Guy played on a busted leg, tough s.o.b.

Jack Reynolds is going to QB one game to save your life?

RIP City, Jay.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 12:12 am**

1. Why did the Brady Bunch have astroturf in their backyard?

Because it was a Hollywood set.

2. Your life is on the line and one QB from all of NFL history has to win one game to save you. Who do you want?

Doug Flutie. :grin:

3. What makes ME happy?

Being treated like a princess

4. You must give up -- coffee, your cell phone, all desserts. Which do you give up?

cell phone

5. Who should be punched in the face?

Diane Feinstein or Kathy Griffin

6. Do you feel like an intense loser when you squat down and scoop your dog's turd up off the ground?

No.

7. Who will be the next U.S. President?

No idea. Hopefully...you know who! :P

8. Ginger or Mary Ann?

Mary Ann

9. What is the best sports nickname (individual player, team, whatever...) of all time?

trevortime!

10. Where will the Dow Jones stand on December 9th, 2015?

No idea. The stock market numbers make me yawn.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 12:53 am**

poptart wrote:6. Do you feel like an intense loser when you squat down and scoop your dog's turd up off the ground?

Strange question actually. Why would you not clean up after your animal? It's kinda rude not to, don't you think?

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 1:28 am**

Yes. I would feel like a loser if I didn't clean it up. I hate when people don't. If my dog pooped in the park, or on the way to and from the park, and I didn't have a bag, I would go back after I dropped him off at home.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 1:37 am**

Who the fuck doesn't drink coffee?

:?

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 1:38 am**

I don't drink coffee.

I would not give up my tea though.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 2:06 am**

My 12-year-old grandson loves the taste of coffee. Everything I've read says that the idiom that "coffee stunts growth" is an old wives' tale. So why not let him have a small cup now and then? He wouldn't add sugar.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 2:20 am**

poptart wrote:1. Why did the Brady Bunch have astroturf in their backyard?

You're an idiot.

2. Your life is on the line and one QB from all of NFL history has to win one game to save you. Who do you want?

All but about 1 of you is an idiot.

But the Johnny Unitas answer was priceless.

3. What makes women happy?

Everything that men hate.

4. You must give up -- coffee, your cell phone, all desserts. Which do you give up?

"Cold dead finger" seems appropriate.

5. Who should be punched in the face?

6. Do you feel like an intense loser when you squat down and scoop your dog's turd up off the ground?

N/A

But I feel like a macho stud when I call someone out for not squatting down and cleaning up after their fucking dog.

7. Who will be the next U.S. President?

Someone I loath.

8. Ginger or Mary Ann?

False dichotomy.

9. What is the best sports nickname (individual player, team, whatever...) of all time?

All Day has been a favorite for years.

10. Where will the Dow Jones stand on December 9th, 2015?

It won't stand, due to controlled demolition, with the subsequent coverup.

Wakey Wakey, assface.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 2:22 am**

It's bitter to me. No matter how much cream and sugar doesn't make it any better either. I love the smell of coffee though.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 2:24 am**

Hey the king of quote totally missed the best question.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 2:29 am**

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:Who the fuck doesn't drink coffee?

People who drink soda pop all day. They are, for the most part, disgustingly obese.

Then again, coffee (and tea) have bad side effects as well. I'm not giving them up.

I can manage w/o a dessert or a cell phone... just hand me the coffee in the morning and no one gets hurt. I can always borrow a phone if need be.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 3:15 am**

Dinsdale wrote:
poptart wrote:2. Your life is on the line and one QB from all of NFL history has to win one game to save you. Who do you want?
All but about 1 of you is an idiot.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 3:19 am**

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:
Dinsdale wrote:
poptart wrote:2. Your life is on the line and one QB from all of NFL history has to win one game to save you. Who do you want?
All but about 1 of you is an idiot.

It's Bart Starr. Do the math.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 3:26 am**

Have another beer dinsdale.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 3:35 am**

trev wrote:Have another ~~beer~~ IPA micro-brew dinsdale.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 3:43 am**

My bad. I'm pointing up and west to make up for that faux pas.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 3:43 am**

poptart wrote:1. Why did the Brady Bunch have astroturf in their backyard?
The blood splattering from Marcia nose wipes right off
2. Your life is on the line and one QB from all of NFL history has to win one game to save you. Who do you want?
oct-nov.....Tony Romo. Dec-jan.....Joe Montana
3. What makes women happy?
hair pulling
4. You must give up -- coffee, your cell phone, all desserts. Which do you give up?
desserts. Easy
5. Who should be punched in the face?
people who bitch about how MSNBC or Fox present the news. If you haven't figured out they are each going after a certain demographic and their only "agenda" is revenue, then there is no helping you
6. Do you feel like an intense loser when you squat down and scoop your dog's turd up off the ground?
not really.
7. Who will be the next U.S. President?
Does it matter? Whoever has the best teeth I'm guessing
8. Ginger or Mary Ann?
Ginger, because everyone says the girl next door and her meat flaps have got to be orally used up by now.
9. What is the best sports nickname (individual player, team, whatever...) of all time?
Magic.
10. Where will the Dow Jones stand on December 9th, 2015?

12345

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 4:35 am**

RJack wrote:1. Why did the Brady Bunch have astroturf in their backyard?
The blood splattering from Marcia nose wipes right off

Yeah, that's right.
One of the better episodes.

And Marcia more recently...

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 4:46 am**

I'll go ahead and RACK the RJack pull.

trev wrote:Hey the king of quote totally missed the best question.

Sorry. Did the PHPBB fuckup thing.

As to who should be punched...

There's 7 freaking billion people on this planet, give or take. Pretty sure there's one or two qualified candidates.

In fact, most of you know that you're a veritable cornucopia of heinous faults. I'll leave it up to you, Dear Reader, to select your worst.

And when some svelte U&L looking fucker walks up and cheapshots you... that was why.

I'm flexible like that.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 5:54 am**

Hmmm.....I intentionally didn't look at anyone's answers. So here we go.

1. Because was on a set in a studio.

2. In his prime, Brett Favre.

3. Women are happy when men are perfect guessers.

4. Cell phone. Fuck anything that ties me to anyone on the planet that decides to dial my number.

5. Hillary Clinton

6. Never did it, when I had a dog.

7. Christie or Jeb Bush

8. DUH! Mary Ann

9. Oil Can Boyd

10. Around 16k

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 7:27 am**

Roger wrote:Hmmm.....I intentionally didn't look at anyone's answers. So here we go.

Good idea, Rog.

Nobody except Dinsdale said anything smart.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 2:12 pm**

Roger_the_Shrubber wrote:
6. Never did it, when I had a dog.

Yep. You're pretty much a shithead.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 2:46 pm**

poptart wrote:
Jay wrote:2. Your life is on the line and one QB from all of NFL history has to win one game to save you. Who do you want? -
Jack Reynolds - Guy played on a busted leg, tough s.o.b.
Jack Reynolds is going to QB one game to save your life?

RIP City, Jay.

Touche Poptart, touche.

I just breezed past the QB part and went straight to the toughest player I remembered. Reynolds was a football hero, so there you go.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 10:24 pm**

R-Jack wrote:
Roger_the_Shrubber wrote:
6. Never did it, when I had a dog.

Yep. You're pretty much a shithead.

And I also didn't let my dog shit in anyplace other than my back or front yard.

Yep, you're pretty much an idiot.

PS - I would say go fuck yourself, but it is apparent you have taken care of that little chore several thousand times.

Posted: **Thu Dec 11, 2014 3:32 am**

So the admission of you gleefully letting years of feces pile up around your home like a fucking slob..........was that designed to alter or affirm my previous thought?

I already assumed you weren't taking your landscaper for an actual walk 'cause......you know.

Posted: **Thu Dec 11, 2014 3:51 am**

I have it on authority that even the most disciplined of dogs might get the urge to poop while on a walk.

These must mean that Rogggg didn't take his dogs on walks?

Posted: **Thu Dec 11, 2014 4:12 am**

trev wrote:
These must mean that Rogggg didn't take his dogs on walks?

He outfitted them with cell phones and sang psalms to them.

Posted: **Thu Dec 11, 2014 4:20 am**

Unless Rog is set up with an all-terrain Amigo, I can see how he'd let his backyard turn into the Shitskills. Probly makes smackaholic's place look like the 18th at Augusta.

Posted: **Thu Dec 11, 2014 5:06 am**

I had a beagle dumb fuck. And with a 10k sq. foot back yard,and a 2.4k sq. ft. front, no big deal. Try keeping to responding to topics you know something about. Like...what letter comes after 'A' in the alphabet. And what she produced from her hind end is about what you have in your cranium.

Again, stupid people are the bane of civilization. Welcome to the head of the class.

R-whatever, have you ever had a dog? 25 lb one? Or a backyard for that matter. See, here in Florida we have 'yards'. And in those yards is 'grass'. And there is this stuff that falls from the sky a lot here called 'rain' which washes away the poop and even helps fertilize the yard(see above explanation)And Trev, I walked her in the front first, let her poop, and then walked her. I wouldn't want another dog crapping in mine, so I was showing respect to the neighbors. Yes, she did pee on the walks. Kinda hard to pick up. Unless you are MGO with a straw.

Posted: **Thu Dec 11, 2014 12:42 pm**

poptart wrote:3. What makes women happy?

Jay wrote:Money, pretty simple.

Seems you are correct, Jay.

Posted: **Thu Dec 11, 2014 2:23 pm**

Roger_the_Shrubber wrote:I had a beagle dumb fuck.

I had no idea you could breed beagle with dumb fuck. Fascinating.

T1B

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