T1B

So, I've agreed to a job as a Temp Herder on a multi-site computer upgrade project. Didn't really want to, but it pays pretty well. Two freaking months on the road. I've been a road-warrior before, but it was always in the U&L. Living out of a suitcase in hotels, as many of you know, sucks. But, we do what we gotta do.

A partial list of sites, in almost alphabetical order, since I don't have a the exact schedule yet:

Augusta, GA
Bellingham, WA (been there before)
Charleston, SC
Chattanooga, TN
Colorado Springs, CO
Albuquerque, NM (2 sites)
Meridian, ID
Mission, TX
Nashville, TN
Oakland, ME
Richmond, VA
Salem, OR (been there before... in the last week. I do know that it's the first site)
Springfield, IKYABWAI
Tampa, FL
Wichita, KS


But I get one heck of a food budget, and hopefully can sample the fine BBQ these fine cities have to offer. I'd love to see the sights, but I'm pretty sure I won't have a lot of free time(but will have a car).

If any of you have any suggestions for places to eat, or things to see, any input is appreciated (and will probably be promptly ignored, since you people are idiots).

Oh, joy. I'm leaving the most awesome place in the world in the summer months to go to some shitholes where it's too fucking hot.

If you were contracted to do any work in Canada, we'd hang...like bro's hang. Oh well.

If I were contracted to do any work in Upper Mexico, I'd tell them to fuck off.

Dinsdale wrote:If I were contracted to do any work in Upper Mexico, I'd tell them to fuck off.

Why the hate on Canada? The Canadian dollar is 0.81 to the USD and the strippers are all nude. It could be worse.

BSmack wrote:the strippers are all nude.

Isn't that kind of the point?

BSmack wrote:

Dinsdale wrote:If I were contracted to do any work in Upper Mexico, I'd tell them to fuck off.

Why the hate on Canada? The Canadian dollar is 0.81 to the USD and the strippers are all nude. It could be worse.

Kalifornia has totally nude strippers, but those joints aren't allowed to sell alcohol.

Oregon has totally nude strippers, which you can view while holding the beverage of your choice -- often outdoors on an enclosed patio (often equipped with a shower). And for $20, they'll take you into a little room and grind their snatch in your face.

And Bellingham might as well be canada.

Dinsdale wrote:
A partial list of sites, in almost alphabetical order, since I don't have a the exact schedule yet:

Augusta, GA
Bellingham, WA (been there before)
Charleston, SC
Chattanooga, TN
Colorado Springs, CO
Albuquerque, NM (2 sites)
Meridian, ID
Mission, TX
Nashville, TN
Oakland, ME
Richmond, VA
Salem, OR (been there before... in the last week. I do know that it's the first site)
Springfield, IKYABWAI
Tampa, FL
Wichita, KS

Wow.

You really did get the shithole tour.

Can you still cancel ?


If not... just be grateful they didn't jam Nebraska on you.

BJ's Brewpub
Applebee's
Olive Garden
Outback
Chipotle
Ruby Tuesday
TGI Friday's
Macaroni Grill
Starbuck's
Panera Bread

Will all become your friends.

Hope you make it back alive.

Mikey wrote:BJ's Brewpub
Applebee's
Olive Garden
Outback
Chipotle
Ruby Tuesday
TGI Friday's
Macaroni Grill
Starbuck's
Panera Bread

Will all become your friends.

Hope you make it back alive.

Dins doesn't strike me as a chain restaurant lemming. Any dude that will sleep with more or less any stranger with a vag is prolly not skeered of trying out local eats.

Of that list, the only ones worth a fukk, IMO are chipotle, starbucks and panera.

Yelp and urbanspoon will be very helpful.

I plan to peruse Yelp.

Maybe I'll start a poll, and see which of those cities gets voted "Worst Shithole."

Well, this has to be a first. Somebody posting a thread about a "Pending PET".

This is like a movie prequel ad for a summer blockbuster...

Coming Soon to a location near you: Dins Does America - Hide the women and children

Dins is definitely not a $tarbucks guy.

As for where to dine....

http://www.roadfood.com

Papa Willie wrote:You'll enjoy it down here, Dins. It's only 96 here today, but it's supposed to push 100, with HI's going up into the 110's. You'll laugh when you see the shithole street (Washington Rd.) Augusta National is backed up against.

Charleston is actually a very cool place, and when in the 'Noog, go to the Tennessee Aquarium. VERY cool.

Been kind of hot here to get me tuned up (almost 90 so far today), but we rarely have that "humidity" stuff to deal with.

I seem to remember being told (I'm working with a buddy who has been to all of these sites before) that the jobsite in Richmond is in the fucking hood. Sounds groovy. I hope our travel-booker does a little research on neighborhoods. It would be nice to be able to leave the hotel safely (buddy says in trips past, there's been a couple of "don't go out at night" places).

War Wagon wrote:Well, this has to be a first. Somebody posting a thread about a "Pending PET".

Pretty fucking clever, I thought.

smackaholic wrote:

Mikey wrote:BJ's Brewpub
Applebee's
Olive Garden
Outback
Chipotle
Ruby Tuesday
TGI Friday's
Macaroni Grill
Starbuck's
Panera Bread

Will all become your friends.

Hope you make it back alive.

Dins doesn't strike me as a chain restaurant lemming. Any dude that will sleep with more or less any stranger with a vag is prolly not skeered of trying out local eats.

Of that list, the only ones worth a fukk, IMO are chipotle, starbucks and panera.

Macaroni Grill was OK 20 years ago but pretty much jumped the shark.

I didn't think I was a chain restaurant lemming before I hit the road, but I really didn't have time to research places to eat. Most of those places, though they pretty much suck, are at least consistent. The only way to find good local food is if you know somebody there, otherwise you're taking a pretty big chance unless you're in the middle of some kind of food mecca. I don't trust Yelp, sometimes Tripadvisor helps.

Sometimes I ended up just looking for a Whole Foods, where I'd hit the steam tables or the meat and cheese counter, then go and find a bottle of Oregon Pinot with a screw cap, and take it all back to my room.

Dinsdale wrote:Pretty fucking clever, I thought.

It just may be, and smash T1B box office records.

It may also be a spectacular flame out.

Either way. I give you credit for going out on a limb and taking on the critics in advance. That takes huge gonads.

When do tickets go on sale?

Dinsdale wrote: Maybe I'll start a poll, and see which of those cities gets voted "Worst Shithole."

My money is on Wichita. Jestine's Kitchen in Charleston is well regarded for soul food.

Wow, an actual food recommendation.

Thanks. I love soul food, and with the myriad food joints here, it's still hard to come by. There's one across town that I really dig, but it's a drive. And all the plkaces around here, oddly enough, are run by transplants.

mvscal wrote:

Dinsdale wrote: Maybe I'll start a poll, and see which of those cities gets voted "Worst Shithole."

My money is on Wichita.

Have you ever even been to Wichita? I dog on Kansas all the time but have nothing bad to say about that town.

This could be interesting at least, epic at best, or Dinsdale's last stand at worst. Gives us something to look forward to besides Smackie's next Troll Chat.

Papa Willie wrote: Been awhile since I've been to any of those spots, but there are definitely spots of Washington Rd. that you want to avoid.

Just looked at my list -- I'm working on Wheeler Rd.

Is that bad?

If it's near an MLK Blvd., I'd worry.

Papa Willie wrote: Stay out of North Charleston. Bad.

Also looking at my list, and doing a map search...

I guess I'll find out how bad it is.

As a bonus, the jobsite is right by a Walmart.

Wolfman wrote:If it's near an MLK Blvd., I'd worry.

Isn't that a pretty standard rule everywhere?

Although there's an MLK in Springfield, Oregon, that isn't ghetto, since they don't have ghettos in Springfield.

Dinsdale wrote:

Papa Willie wrote: Stay out of North Charleston. Bad.

Also looking at my list, and doing a map search...

I guess I'll find out how bad it is.

As a bonus, the jobsite is right by a Walmart.

You know you're in a bad neighborhood if there's a Walmart nearby.

Dinsdale wrote:
Maybe I'll start a poll, and see which of those cities gets voted "Worst Shithole."

If by "Worst Shithole" you are referring to the worst local skank who gets it up the ass, I may check in on a regular basis.

Godspeed Dins!

I spent a few days in witchita, unplanned. Had to get the RV worked on. Seemed like a very nice, very clean, amazingly white place. In fact, it may be the whitest place I have ever been. Prolly not the best place to find good soul food.

Haven't been to most of the places, but while in the south, definitely stick with soul found. Do not, under any circumstances, even think about getting a pizza. When in Nashville, I highly recommend fat mo's for a burger. It is a local chain. It will get you a good bit closer to that triple by-pass, but, fukk it, who wants to get old anyway?

Charleston is a beautiful city. One of the nicest in the south.

We need some sort of poll on how many fukkbeasts take a ride on the dinspole. I will set the over under at 8 1/2.

smackaholic wrote:We need some sort of poll on how many fukkbeasts take a ride on the dinspole. I will set the over under at 8 1/2.

He's hitting Amy Roloff on his way out of town?

Sooooooo...

In fact, the very commutable Salem wasn't the first stop. Our pilot project ended up being a very small job in Bellingham, WA, where I've been before, although certainly haven't spent much time there. It's the last city on I-5 before one hits Upper Mexico. No shipping of materials, just loaded up a rental minivan (Grand Caravan "Sport"(didn't know there was such a thing -- fucker actually kind of hauled ass, much to my surprise) with a bunch of laptops, and took off Sunday night at 8:00. Got to the hotel at 1:30 (stopped at lots of rest areas to pee, smoke, and let the drunk passenger (sup Dins) piss. Not much to be seen at 1:30, so the pics had to wait.

It's become clear that this will be as advertised -- little free time -- work and sleep.

But at least we were off Bakerview Ave., which is aptly named, what with Mt Baker and all.



Yeah, not too exciting. But how many volcanoes did you see today, Flyover Faggots?

But, since Bellingham, right on the upper left of the U&L is such a garden spot, and since the slowest network ever was taking way too long to do basic shit, a dinnerbreak was in order.



Patio of a Mexican joint on the waterfront, looking out at the sunset over the San Juans.

FUCKED UP PART OF ROADIE v 1.0 -- I didn't get a pic of the hostess at said Mexican joint (I was going to try and get a pic of her posing with me, but I think she took a break). This is unfortunate, since she was pretty much a 10-ola. I vow to improve.

Since the outlined procedure (did I mention it's contracting for a huge company you've heard of, and there's a lot of cooks with a spoon in the broth?) sucked massive donkey balls, things have been delayed. But I'm bound and determine to photoessay this bitch like a Japanese tourist on meth.

... Still pending.

Back in 1959 I worked doing preliminary road surveys out of the Darrington office of Mt.Baker National Forest. Snow capped mountains make a nice bit of scenery. Went back for a look see in 1994. Almost stayed there. Funniest thing was all the loggers there from North Carolina hired by Weyerhauser. Was really funny seeing all these pieces of rubber tires with a rope loop in them at the door of a bar. The loggers slip them on to their caulked boots so they don't rip up the floor. Worst thing was 3.2 beer. Best thing was legalized gambling on pinball.

Yeah 5¢ to get going---more to increase your odds. I'd play for hours. Here's a shot I took from in front of our home base. The scaling station was across the parking lot and a load of Doug fir was there. OK---no more until Dins continues.

Wolfman wrote:Yeah 5¢ to get going---more to increase your odds. I'd play for hours. Here's a shot I took from in front of our home base. The scaling station was across the parking lot and a load of Doug fir was there. OK---no more until Dins continues.

3 log load. Don't see those anymore.

The border crossing is actually in Blaine, IIRC. Been through there once on the way from Seattle to Victoria, BC. Had to wait for over an hour to cross. We came back through Port Angeles, which was longer but a much more pleasant trip.

Mikey wrote:The border crossing is actually in Blaine, IIRC. Been through there once on the way from Seattle to Victoria, BC. Had to wait for over an hour to cross. We came back through Port Angeles, which was longer but a much more pleasant trip.

Blaine is indeed the little suburb to the north of Bellingham, right on the border.

No, you didn't go from Blaine to Victoria -- but if you had said Vancouver, I'd buy it. You can't drive to Victoria from anywhere but somewhere else on Vancouver Island, since it's an island and stuff. Port Angeles is the common place for Americans to ferry over to Victoria, although there's others. They take their ferries very seriously in Northern Washington -- I think you can drive your car on one, and head to Ketchican, AK, or some such place.`Victoria is pretty much immediately north of the San Juans, kinda sorta.

We just take the in-laws yacht over to Victoria from Anacortes out of flounder's bay.

Dinsdale wrote:

Mikey wrote:The border crossing is actually in Blaine, IIRC. Been through there once on the way from Seattle to Victoria, BC. Had to wait for over an hour to cross. We came back through Port Angeles, which was longer but a much more pleasant trip.

Blaine is indeed the little suburb to the north of Bellingham, right on the border.

No, you didn't go from Blaine to Victoria -- but if you had said Vancouver, I'd buy it. You can't drive to Victoria from anywhere but somewhere else on Vancouver Island, since it's an island and stuff. Port Angeles is the common place for Americans to ferry over to Victoria, although there's others. They take their ferries very seriously in Northern Washington -- I think you can drive your car on one, and head to Ketchican, AK, or some such place.`Victoria is pretty much immediately north of the San Juans, kinda sorta.

Apparently your reading comprehension leaves a bit lot to be desired, or else you just like to be contrary. I said we were driving from Seattle to Victoria and crossed the border at Blaine. Anybody with half a brain, or even less, knows that Victoria isn't directly across the border from Blaine . And no, we did not go to Vancouver (at least the city). We crossed at Blaine, drove onto the Ferry at Tsawwassen and hung out on the deck until we drove off at Swartz Bay (also not Victoria, BTW). Then we drove to Victoria. Took the ferry from Victoria to Port Angeles on the way back.

But it is possible to drive from Blaine to Victoria. You're probably going to say that taking the ferry isn't driving, but if you search anywhere for DRIVING DIRECTIONS, it will put you on the ferry.

Driving and directions flame war and smack.

Interesting. The midget should be buzzing in soon here.

Bonus pic: a couple of weeks ago, leaving The Dalles, OR, on the eastern edge of the Columbia River Gorge (which is, oddly enough, about 150 miles from the "Gorge" Amphitheater[/petpeeve]), through the thoroughly pasted truck winshield.





I'm sure Mikey will be along to tell us how he drove across the Columbia without the aid of a bridge, since his vehicle is apparently amphibious.

And in case you're having trouble following along -- I get paid to do this, beyotches.