Fun Football Contest

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Sun Aug 30, 2015 1:02 pm

Three Best Bets

Here -----> http://theoneboard.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=46391

Don't miss out on the FUN this season.
You'll be sorry.

This will be the place to be, I guarantee it.
Easy and fun football pickin' game.

Picks, competition, banter -- and test your intelligence.
Some of you frankly need that.

And look here -----> http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/af ... sz=1&swk=1

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sun Aug 30, 2015 2:41 pm

Another fun football contest.

Fantasy football.

The Jackass Fantasy Football League is looking for one new member.

DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES?

The Skinny: We are a 16 team league that uses a PPR scoring system and an auction draft format.

50 dollar buy in.

Draft Date: Thursday September 3rd 9PM EDT

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Aug 30, 2015 2:59 pm

BSmack wrote:Another fun football contest.

Fantasy football.

The Jackass Fantasy Football League is looking for one new member.

DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES?

The Skinny: We are a 16 team league that uses a PPR scoring system and an auction draft format

Draft Date: Thursday September 3rd 9PM EDT

I'm not sure you understand. The great thing about Three Best Bets is that it isn't Fantasy Football.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sun Aug 30, 2015 3:30 pm

It's worse. It is gambling with no money. The JFFL gives you a chance to win a moderate sum of money.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Aug 30, 2015 4:44 pm

BSmack wrote:The JFFL gives you a chance to win a moderate sum of money.

Look, buddy, if I want to throw 15 ducks down the drain I'll just send it straight to you...

...oh, wait...

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sun Aug 30, 2015 5:39 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Look, buddy, if I want to throw 15 ducks down the drain I'll just send it straight to you...

No, it'd be $50.00 and you'd send it straight to me.

Unless, like Goobs, you're chicken.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun Aug 30, 2015 6:24 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
BSmack wrote:The JFFL gives you a chance to win a moderate sum of money.
Look, buddy, if I want to throw 15 ducks down the drain I'll just send it straight to you...

...oh, wait...

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Sun Aug 30, 2015 6:38 pm

Wait until Popthumper finds out.....

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sun Aug 30, 2015 9:29 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:15 ducks

A good start.

Sin

Chip Kelly

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 1:48 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:The great thing about Three Best Bets is that it isn't Fantasy Football.

It's not great. It's not fun.

It's for pussies who can't man up and be invested in something other than being a pussy.

If there is one person here who is NOT A PUSSY, has a keen interest in the NFL and a modicum of football savvy...

There is 1 opening in a exclusive club that will be the most "fun" you ever had, over 16 weeks, for a measly $50.

But most of you ARE indeed pussies who can go fuck themselves.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 2:04 am

War Wagon wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:The great thing about Three Best Bets is that it isn't Fantasy Football.
It's not great. It's not fun.

It's for pussies who can't man up and be invested in something other than being a pussy.

Just to be clear, and I'll probably play 3 best bets as a secondary form of amusement...

Jackasses wipe their cocks on 3 best bets drapes.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Aug 31, 2015 2:19 am

War Wagon wrote:pussy

That's a funny way to spell disinterest.

Here I thought fearlessness was running into a burning building or something. I guess it's really measured by one's dedication to sitting in front of the Red Zone channel for 8 hours slamming Bud Rices and Cheetos hoping the tight end for the Buffalo Bills scores a touchdown.

You go get em, tough guy.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 2:39 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:You go get em, tough guy.

Sure thing, patronizing, condescending your shit don't stink Screwy is my soul mate bitch.

I'm busy recruiting here, some part of that you missed?

JAFFL goes back 15 years, to TNW, long before T1B was a brownstain in PSU's diaper.

Lead, follow or get out the way.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 12:03 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
War Wagon wrote:pussy
That's a funny way to spell disinterest.

Here I thought fearlessness was running into a burning building or something. I guess it's really measured by one's dedication to sitting in front of the Red Zone channel for 8 hours slamming Bud Rices and Cheetos hoping the tight end for the Buffalo Bills scores a touchdown.

You go get em, tough guy.

What a blast.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 12:13 pm

Fantasy any sport is of no interest to me at all.

I look at the whole process and think it looks hopelessly gay.

But if people like that, so be it.

From my perspective, it has contributed to the ruination of the NFL.

NFL Broadcasts cater to this silly warping of the sport, also.

Congratulations, dumbshits.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 1:33 pm

Sorry, Whitey, but none of my fantasies involve large men in tight pants.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Aug 31, 2015 2:05 pm

War Wagon wrote:I'm busy recruiting here, some part of that you missed?

So start a fantasy thread. This one is for Three Best Bets.

Better yet, just go down to your local bowling alley sports bar. I'm sure you'll find some slapdick manchild who wants to be a part of your fantasy. You'll know exactly how to spot him: goatee, cargo shorts, socks with sandals, faded jersey from player who retired 10 years ago with buffalo sauce stains, chews with mouth open, plays NTN Buzztime Poker in between the action, thinks the waitress is flirting with him, and despite what poptart says, you can spot the curvature of his belly from 45,000 feet up. What you WON'T see is this guy watching football. The GAME OF FUCKING FOOTBALL. You know, offense vs defense. Special teams. Play-calling. No, all this tard cares about is Doug Martin punching one in on 3rd and goal so he can "win the week."

Fuck off, fantasy guy.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 2:08 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:What you WON'T see is this guy watching football. The GAME OF FUCKING FOOTBALL. You know, offense vs defense. Special teams. Play-calling. No, all this tard cares about is Doug Martin punching one in on 3rd and goal so he can "win the week."

Fuck off, fantasy guy.

That deserves a rack.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 2:12 pm

A healthy RACK for Mgo!

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 4:09 pm

I have played FFB and got second and third in the league I was in. The draft was a blast both times but it nose dived for me after that. Setting a line up, getting trade requests, etc etc quickly became work. Then trying to pay attention to who faced which defense and what player might have pulled his vagina in practice vs a real injury and it wasn't much fun.

On top of that I would rather watch DVR'ed college games on Sunday than most NFL games.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 5:17 pm

KC Scott wrote:It doesn't take away from my enjoyment of watching the game, actually quite the opposite. I used to not care about games that KC wasn't playing in or that weren't marquee match ups. Now all the games hold some potential interest

Egg-zactly.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 5:28 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:So start a fantasy thread. This one is for Three Best Bets.

I have. We have.

We'll go to any length we deem necessary to keep JAFFL going with 16, count 'em, SIXTEEN motherfucking Jackasses...

If that gives you or anybody else diaper rash, tough shit.

We don't need T1B for this but we use it because it's convenient.

What you WON'T see is this guy watching football. The GAME OF FUCKING FOOTBALL. You know, offense vs defense. Special teams. Play-calling. No, all this tard cares about is Doug Martin punching one in on 3rd and goal so he can "win the week."

You are an ignorant buffoon if you really believe all that horseshit.

You dicks play all sorts of pick 'em games, as does FF guy, yet you have the sheer audacity to dog people who enjoy some real competition with more on the line than shits and grins?

Go fuck yourself, hypocrite.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 5:28 pm

While I find Mgo's responses hilarious, I don't share the animosity toward fantasy football. I just don't nearly enjoy it as much as picking against spreads. What blows my mind is how fantasy football has been designated as a "game of skill" and thus legally able to allow gambling on. Unlike picking against spreads, which is still considered a "game of chance." Complete bullshit, but no surprise there.

I was running fantasy football leagues by HAND back before it became popular, back in 1993 and 1994. I would get the Sporting News with the ads for the "salary based" leagues where you would pick your team without going over the salary cap. We had roughly 10 players in each league, and I would get the newspaper after school on Tuesday and tally up all the points. What made fantasy football great before its popularity explosion was it was complimentary to normal NFL viewing. Now the NFL viewing experience is geared toward the FF viewer.

What bothers me most about this is what Mgo clearly described: Some jerkoff in IKWYABWAI land blows his wad because Tyrod Taylor got some meaningless 4th quarter TD in a blowout loss that puts this guy over the top for the week. That's not football. That's jerking off. And it's fucking stupid.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 6:27 pm

Screwball's right. It's mental masturbation. And he's pissed because there's no mop-up work.

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 7:16 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Screwball's right. It's mental masturbation.

Morelike playing Barbies for men. Sure there can be money involved, but fantasy is the operative word.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 7:54 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote: That's jerking off. And it's fucking stupid.

Looks like Moppy is biting the hand that feeds him

Go Coogs' · Post by **Go Coogs'** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 9:52 pm

Fantasy Football has probably saved marriages during the fall and winter months. It has also ruined a lot of friendships unfortunately. I know who Mgo is describing and there are douchebags out there who give FFL a bad name, but they do not represent the whole. My cousins and I get together every year and do an off-line draft together. We've been doing this since 2000.

It's an entire day spent with family and catching up on what's gone on the past 8 months because our schedules are never aligned. They all work for the railroad and I work the DuPont schedule, so we have very few opportunities to get together. And now, all the wives have made their own league and do their draft while we do ours. I also get to swim and play with all my cousins' kids that day and catch up with them and see how they are doing. It's one of the best days of the year for me and I look forward to it every time. This Sunday is going to be a blast. The actual FFL is fun, but draft day is what it's all about.

Never underestimate the value in spending time with family. And I'm not saying you need a FFL in order to do that, but for some its a reason to get together without anyone backing out last minute.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Mon Aug 31, 2015 11:24 pm

Well said, Rumps.

I was hogtied into doing the "family" FF again this year, on Yahoo, for tart's sake. Of all the most miserable web hosts to do any sort of gaming, Yahoo is the worst of the worst. It used to be more user friendly but they fucked that all to hell and back. ESPN has an excellent setup we've been using since 2009. No fees.

JAFFL is a whole 'nother animal. Not animals actually, but sharks. Sharks who will rip your spleen out like Jsc's surgeon treats his gastro-intestinal tract.... if you make a stupid move, like start a player who is injured or on a bye week.

It's extremely competitive, but also a lot of fun. The entry fee has been $50 since 2001. It's only a formality in that we want owners who have a vested interest in managing their team. The live auction draft alone is worth the fiddy. It's a blast.

The NFL forum on TNW used to be killer. That's how and why JAFFL league started and why about a dozen of us are still original members. Now, we've got 3 best bets that slap tart has to pimp on the main forum to get some run.

These are my friends. I know where they live, coast to coast, north to south. I've talked to many of them on the phone. Most of them won't come near this shit hole any longer except for JAFFL. They don't want to rub elbows with assholes. That private forum has about 10 times more posts in the last 10 years than any other 5 shit dick forums here combined.

Some mouth breathing idiots in here disdain FF, fine. Shut your fucking hypocritical mouth about those who enjoy it. Go play your meaningless free 3BB's or whatever else you do to spank your monkey.

Meanwhile, we've still got one spot open and we intend to fill that spot. The alternative is an odd number of teams which isn't an option. There are no bye weeks in JAFFL and no free rides. It's like the mafia, once in, you don't get out. Not easily and if you do, it's usually in a wooden box.

B_Smack is the duly nominated/elected commish this year. I'm the treasurer (via PayPal) because nobody else wanted the duty.

If you are reading this, like the NFL, want to have more fun than is legal for $50 and ARE NOT a pussy, pm Bri or Scott and they will hook you up.

Mgo
Goobs
Screwey
slaptart

and other assorted pussies need not apply.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Tue Sep 01, 2015 1:12 am

God damn you fantasy dorks are sensitive.

Relax, Whitey. Just having a little fun at your expense cuz I know how much this means to you. I'm sure you've been training all off-season, working the biceps...with remote in one hand, Tallboy in the other. A time will come when you'll be faced with a VERY important decision. A decision not fit for a pussy but for a REAL MAN.

"Do I start Drew Brees or Tony Romo?"

Good luck and godspeed, my friend. I know you'll make the right choice.

Go Coogs' · Post by **Go Coogs'** » Tue Sep 01, 2015 1:27 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:God damn you fantasy dorks are sensitive.

Fuck you, asshole.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue Sep 01, 2015 1:41 am

Screw_Michigan wrote:While I find Mgo's responses hilarious

No surprise, it's easy to amuse a simpleton. Dogs chase squeaky toys, you are fascinated by yo-yo's.

I don't share the animosity toward fantasy football

.

Good for you... since when did graduate from jizz mopping to having a rational take? Ponderous. Goobs must be getting his balls waxed, for free, on the side.

What blows my mind is how fantasy football has been designated as a "game of skill"

Lottery tickets "blow your mind"... and your laundry money.

No body, not one single Jackass, has ever won a JAFFL title by luck alone.

I won the 2010 CFB title by luck. I won the JAFFL title in 2003 because I drafted and managed my team well that year. I'm certainly more proud of that any CFB moniker I could wear.

Mgo... it's all fun & games, until you get slammed against the flimsy wall that 'holic wouldn't post a pic of. Then, you're what I described earlier. You remember that, surely.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Tue Sep 01, 2015 1:55 am

Go Coogs' wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:God damn you fantasy dorks are sensitive.
Fuck you, asshole.

Coogs,

You want in?

Go Coogs' · Post by **Go Coogs'** » Tue Sep 01, 2015 2:06 am

Well, I don't want to be a pussy, but I also don't want to be labeled as a cheeto eating couch potato loser who obsesses over depth charts.

Decisions, decisions....

Fuck it. I'm in.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue Sep 01, 2015 2:14 am

Rack Rumps!

Don't worry about labels, the draft is in 3 days.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Tue Sep 01, 2015 2:15 am

Wagon wrote:Some mouth breathing idiots in here disdain FF, fine. Shut your fucking hypocritical mouth about those who enjoy it.

poptart wrote:From my perspective, it has contributed to the ruination of the NFL.

NFL Broadcasts cater to this silly warping of the sport, also.

Fantasy Football is a perversion of the NFL.

I would not care at all if dorks set up their little leagues, established their commish, had a draft, etc. -- and did other make-believe things like children do, BUT, as I said, what we've seen happen is that pre-games, post-games, and broadcasts have twisted their coverage of the sport to cater to this stupid, childish bullshit.

Crawling individual player stats across the TV screen -- so that some two-digit IQer can cream his overweight fantasy-dweeb self on his mom's couch.

"Oooh, Jon, did you see that? Peyton tossed four taters today. Some fantasy owner is a happy man tonight!"

Get the hell out of here.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue Sep 01, 2015 2:20 am

Don't you have some verse from Thessalonians to quote?

You are the ultimate hypocrite, I'm done with you.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Tue Sep 01, 2015 2:24 am

Don't worry, Wagon.

It won't hurt as much in the morning.

Just crank up some -- ZEP -- and thoughts of mean ol' poptart will go away.

:wink:

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Tue Sep 01, 2015 2:33 am

Oh for fucks sake. You either like FFL or you don't, but quit crapping all over it if it ain't your cup of betting tea.

Fantasy football hasn't ruined jack shit. Betting itself has, but nobody wants to go there. So do your thing here, let others do there fantasy thing elsewhere. Or here, what difference does it make. Since this IS the Cul, why isn't this in the NFL forum?

Did popturd get lost on his way to theology?

Oh yeah, that's right, nobody cares about that nonsense, except one sad and lonely mental midget.

Open forums or specific ones, make up your minds.

As it is, anyone who chooses to place their cache in the hands of the resident lunatic is asking to get screwed.

Just sayin'.

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Tue Sep 01, 2015 2:34 am

Always been a big Wags and Bsmack fan, but this went awry in the presentation. Coming out like linebackers when Coog's Norman Rockwell fantasy, Christmas illustration would have been better.
If you're carrying a .38 and having any balls you're down to the local Portuguese football bar with a bookie parlaying three games.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue Sep 01, 2015 2:35 am

Not completely done, slapped tart.

We'll soon see if Rumps will ante up. I believe dude is a man of his word and it's a done deal.

You may then, kindly, go fuck yourself unto Revelations... with thanks for drawing Jackass #16 into the fold.