Calling out The Deciders

[Go Coogs']

Y'all have been laying down on the job you braindead fucksticks. It's time someone else decided to take charge around here.

What I've noticed lately is most threads turning into a Flat Earth debate, Goobs doing his normal Goobs shit, and/or Buttsy bringing up LTS' lack of guitar skills in almost every single thread.

It's time we form a new Posse and clean house. I'm recruiting a fucking crew that is willing to roll some heads, yeah. Ban first and ask questions later. That's who I want on my squad. I want the Bill Belicheats and the '80s SMU Mustangs of the world. I want fucking results no matter what it takes. Right now, what we have on this board is bullshit.

Marty, you're in charge of recruiting
mvscal, you're in charge of the food
R-Jack, you're in charge of training
Screwy, you're in charge of clean up and laundry.

Lets get to work, men.

[Screw_Michigan]

Finally, I made a list.

[Go Coogs']

Dins, you're in charge of typing up the manuals and bylaws.

[Go Coogs']

Smackie, we're gonna need a DJ when these guys finish basic.

[Go Coogs']

Lefty, I need you to book a charter to Vegas after we've knocked The Deciders dicks in the dirt. DO NOT ORDER THE FISH, MOTHER FUCKER!

[Go Coogs']

BarFlie, I need weekly updates on the Charlotte Bobcats.

[Go Coogs']

What the fuck is going on here? My T1B credit card was denied at The Pink Pussycat Lounge this afternoon.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!

This is all wrong. Fucking trev screwed up the invitations and gave Marty the rough draft. Someone needs to raccoon her ass.

88, you're in charge of spreadsheets and crunching data. AP will assist when he's not out shopping at Bealls.

[Go Coogs']

Mikey, I need you to be the speech writer for me should we go down in defeat. Blind myopia is what really rallies the troops after a loss.

[Go Coogs']

Wolfman, you're in charge of curfew and Metamucil for the elders. Make sure you save two doses for yourself.

[Go Coogs']

Sam, I need you to heal up as soon as possible and get on that HOG of yours and cruise the backroads of the good ol' dixieland and take a bunch of pictures of obscure shit and abandoned baptist churches. It's your only hope of redeeming what little board cred you had.

The troops NEED the inspiration, Sam. They're calling for it. If you don't think you're up to it, then die trying. Please, die trying.

[Go Coogs']

Dr_Phibes, I need you to continue being mysterious and acutely clever with big words and arbitrary metaphors that one or two posters will get.

[Go Coogs']

'holic, you're in charge of the final exam. You know why.

[Goober McTuber]

Archive.

Sincerely,

[Go Coogs']

The reindeer will be in shortly to finish your ass off. Lay down, old man. Lay the fuck down.

[Go Coogs']

On second thought, 88. I need you to be the storyteller during liberty weekends to help boost morale. I need a great story about Bob Juice and then I need Jay to chime in and say he had a distant cousin who was also fat and had similar juice when he discovered his dead body.

[Diego in Seattle]

AP will assist when he's not out shopping at Bealls.

More like Lane Bryant....

[Mikey]

I'm on a myopia break right now.

Probably pick it up again sometime around 12/26.

[Jay in Phoenix]

I need a great story about Bob Juice and then I need Jay to chime in and say he had a distant cousin who was also fat and had similar juice when he discovered his dead body.

Ah crap. I had a distant second cousin on my mother's father's side that was skinny and had different juice when they discovered what they thought was his dead body, but fucker was still alive.



Will this do?

[R-Jack]

Have we forgotten the last time someone assembled a "crew"?

[Dinsdale]

The problem here, is that many of the New Deciders have kids at home, which would interfere with their ability to attend meetings.

I propose setting up a child care center to tend to the kiddies during the meetings.

And I believe there's a certain member here from the northwest corner of the country who is uniquely qualified to run it.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Sincerely...

[Dinsdale]

Dude, don't be an ass.

I was talking about Luther.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Have we forgotten the last time someone assembled a "crew"?

BE COOL MAN, BE COOL!!!

Those guys still lurk this site.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]