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Hi, I'm new here....sorta.

Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 7:31 pm
by ghost of wags
Rack the trolls.

Rack Smackie Chan

Eat a dick, MV.

Does anyone have a smoke?

The Big G went smoke free in this fuckin' place and I am absolutely dying for a marlboro. What, what am I saying, I already did die for a marlboro.

Anyway, just thought I would check in from the other side. I was honestly a little surprised to make the cut and to be honest, I'm not sure it was a good thing. G runs a pretty tight ship. Absolutely no smoking and we all gotta drive EVs. The whole AGW scam has even caught on up here. Of course, God does make an exception for himself and his kid. He usually drives himself around in a black '62 Fleetwood. He has a collection almost as nice as Jay Leno. He has a 71 Monte Carlo he said he may let me wash if I play my cards right. J drives a '89 fuscia VW cabriolet.

Figures.

I have actually looked into getting a transfer to hell as smoking is mandatory and you can drive any old American iron you want. Well, not quite any old. Requirements are that it has to be a rusty G body with at least 3 different color body panels. Fuck, I'd be right at home. Also, I'd get to hang out with Dale. I thought he'd make the cut too, but I guess you can't say enough hail marys to make up for putting 472 dudes into the wall over a NASCAR career.

The problem is, getting a transfer involves a lot of paperwork and a good lawyer. Unfortunately, all the good lawyers are in hell already and not members of the heaven Bar.

Well, I gotta get over to the PX and get another pack of nicotine gum.

I'll try to get into TT friday night

L8r

Re: Hi, I'm new here....sorta.

Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 7:59 pm
by Smackie Chan
ghost of wags wrote:I'll try to get into TT friday night
I'm guessing you have ungodly wi-fi up there.

OK, godly.

Re: Hi, I'm new here....sorta.

Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 8:35 pm
by smackaholic
What kinda beer you got up there wags? I would think some sort of U&L micro? I would think bud light would be in hell.


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Re: Hi, I'm new here....sorta.

Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 10:03 pm
by Jay in Phoenix
Well, now that you're all ghost and everything, the Whitey nickname is more apropos than ever.

There were a few salient points you overlooked G of W. What's the bowling situation like up there? Any decent lanes?

What about UFO's? I know you believed in them, so now that you have the inside track, what's the deal there?

Any good softball leagues? Do they allow "their kind" in Heaven?

Inquiring minds and all that.

Re: Hi, I'm new here....sorta.

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 12:23 am
by ghost of wags
Jay in Phoenix wrote:Well, now that you're all ghost and everything, the Whitey nickname is more apropos than ever.

There were a few salient points you overlooked G of W. What's the bowling situation like up there? Any decent lanes?

What about UFO's? I know you believed in them, so now that you have the inside track, what's the deal there?

Any good softball leagues? Do they allow "their kind" in Heaven?

Inquiring minds and all that.
The bowling alley is pretty sweet. Awesome outside line. Put it between the 1st and 2nd arrow and it pretty much guaranteed to find the pocket. The ABC would laugh you out of the building if you tried to get a 300 game sanctioned here. Lanes are blocked as fuck. But, this is outside the ABC's territory, so they can fuck the fuck off.

Don't know about the softball league situation as I got a few days of indoc left. Hopefully they'll cover it.

Define "their kind".

Balcks? homos?

Yeah, we got'em.

Re: Hi, I'm new here....sorta.

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 1:10 pm
by Bucmonkey
Firmament ?

Re: Hi, I'm new here....sorta.

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 1:32 pm
by Goober McTuber
Bucmonkey wrote:Firmament ?
Are you suggesting this is another of poptart's shit trolls? I think you might be onto something.

Re: Hi, I'm new here....sorta.

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 3:56 pm
by BSmack
Probably nothing but John Coltrane, Charles Mingus and Dave Brubeck. You're probably like oh shit they're playing "Castilian Drums" again!