Final Exam
Posted: Thu Sep 21, 2017 2:58 pm
Final Exam
ML's last post for a while...to the relief of several of you, I know!
Today's Subject: Illegal aliens in America
(specifically the Spanish speaking variety)
If you don't like marginally funny and amateurish old school smack, stop reading here.
1. If you notice an illegal working in your neighbor’s yard, you should...
a. Call the local police
b. Chase the illegal away on your own
c. Chastise your neighbor for his lack of judgement
d. Find out how much the guy charges per hour
The correct answer is d. Isn’t it about time you cleaned your backyard?
2. A border wall will work because...
a. Illegals are afraid of tunnels
b. Mexico hasn't invented the ladder yet
c. a and b
d. Are you kidding?
The correct answer is d. You didn't REALLY think Trump could get Mexico to pay for a wall, did you?
3. How do you say "Mikey" in Spanish?
a. Abogado
b. Amigo
c. Marca fácil
d. Oído simpatico
The correct answer is c. No estoy bromeando!
4. How do you get illegals to vacate a public bus?
a. Say “Next stop, Tijuana.”
b. Pick up an ICE officer
c. Throw in a bar of soap
d. All of the above
The correct answer is c. Irish Spring is especially effective.
5. What is an illegal alien’s greatest fear?
a. Being pulled over for a driving infraction
b. Being asked for a green card by a new employer
c. Being seen by friends eating at a Taco Bell
d. Having Moving Sale represent him in Immigration Court
The correct answer is d. They may be illegal, but they're certainly not stupid.
6. Why do illegals do their grocery shopping at gas station convenience stores?
a. The prices are reasonable, and illegals have to watch their budgets
b. The beer selection is pretty good
c. Real grocery stores are too far of a walk
d. The cashier is often a friend of theirs
The answer is a. Who knew?
7. Why don’t illegals vote in elections?
a. They’re not well versed of the issues
b. Their liberal leanings would be unfair to Republicans
c. Law law forbids it
d. Who says they don’t vote?
The correct answer is d. Who do we think we're kidding?
8. What’s the difference between a male and female illegal alien?
a. Females do the cooking
b. Females take care of the children
c. Males have lower voices
d. About 70 pounds
The correct answer is d. I'm taking Derron's word on this.
9. Where does an illegal alien go to get medical care?
a. A friend who knows something about health care
b. A family doctor that can be trusted
c. The local Catholic church
d. A hospital emergency room
The correct answer is d. Good doctors, modern equipment...it's amazing what you can get for free.
10. What does an illegal call a car accident when he's at fault?
a. An unfortunate circumstance
b. A lapse in judgement
c. A bit of bad luck
d. An insurance claim
The correct answer is d, on the other driver’s policy of course.
11. What is the preferred euphemism for an illegal alien?
a. Mr. Leaf Blower
b. “Hey you, with the rake and broom”
c. Juan or Jose
d. Undocumented worker
The most popular answer is d, of course, but a is catching on.
12. What does an illegal call an American who is vehemently against illegal immigration?
a. A Republican
b. A Nazi fuck
c. A bigoted bastard
d. Boss
The correct answer is d. Go figure.
13. How do most illegal aliens refer to their car
a. Cacharro
b. Cubo oxidado
c. Quemador de aceite
d. Pile of schmick
The correct answer is d. In California especially, Schmick is the new mierda.
Well, how'd you all do?
Don't feel bad if you got a few answers wrong. I wrote the exam myself, and I only scored an eleven.
It's been fun. Thanks for letting me litter your highway.
Ta, ta!
ML's last post for a while...to the relief of several of you, I know!
Today's Subject: Illegal aliens in America
(specifically the Spanish speaking variety)
If you don't like marginally funny and amateurish old school smack, stop reading here.
1. If you notice an illegal working in your neighbor’s yard, you should...
a. Call the local police
b. Chase the illegal away on your own
c. Chastise your neighbor for his lack of judgement
d. Find out how much the guy charges per hour
The correct answer is d. Isn’t it about time you cleaned your backyard?
2. A border wall will work because...
a. Illegals are afraid of tunnels
b. Mexico hasn't invented the ladder yet
c. a and b
d. Are you kidding?
The correct answer is d. You didn't REALLY think Trump could get Mexico to pay for a wall, did you?
3. How do you say "Mikey" in Spanish?
a. Abogado
b. Amigo
c. Marca fácil
d. Oído simpatico
The correct answer is c. No estoy bromeando!
4. How do you get illegals to vacate a public bus?
a. Say “Next stop, Tijuana.”
b. Pick up an ICE officer
c. Throw in a bar of soap
d. All of the above
The correct answer is c. Irish Spring is especially effective.
5. What is an illegal alien’s greatest fear?
a. Being pulled over for a driving infraction
b. Being asked for a green card by a new employer
c. Being seen by friends eating at a Taco Bell
d. Having Moving Sale represent him in Immigration Court
The correct answer is d. They may be illegal, but they're certainly not stupid.
6. Why do illegals do their grocery shopping at gas station convenience stores?
a. The prices are reasonable, and illegals have to watch their budgets
b. The beer selection is pretty good
c. Real grocery stores are too far of a walk
d. The cashier is often a friend of theirs
The answer is a. Who knew?
7. Why don’t illegals vote in elections?
a. They’re not well versed of the issues
b. Their liberal leanings would be unfair to Republicans
c. Law law forbids it
d. Who says they don’t vote?
The correct answer is d. Who do we think we're kidding?
8. What’s the difference between a male and female illegal alien?
a. Females do the cooking
b. Females take care of the children
c. Males have lower voices
d. About 70 pounds
The correct answer is d. I'm taking Derron's word on this.
9. Where does an illegal alien go to get medical care?
a. A friend who knows something about health care
b. A family doctor that can be trusted
c. The local Catholic church
d. A hospital emergency room
The correct answer is d. Good doctors, modern equipment...it's amazing what you can get for free.
10. What does an illegal call a car accident when he's at fault?
a. An unfortunate circumstance
b. A lapse in judgement
c. A bit of bad luck
d. An insurance claim
The correct answer is d, on the other driver’s policy of course.
11. What is the preferred euphemism for an illegal alien?
a. Mr. Leaf Blower
b. “Hey you, with the rake and broom”
c. Juan or Jose
d. Undocumented worker
The most popular answer is d, of course, but a is catching on.
12. What does an illegal call an American who is vehemently against illegal immigration?
a. A Republican
b. A Nazi fuck
c. A bigoted bastard
d. Boss
The correct answer is d. Go figure.
13. How do most illegal aliens refer to their car
a. Cacharro
b. Cubo oxidado
c. Quemador de aceite
d. Pile of schmick
The correct answer is d. In California especially, Schmick is the new mierda.
Well, how'd you all do?
Don't feel bad if you got a few answers wrong. I wrote the exam myself, and I only scored an eleven.
It's been fun. Thanks for letting me litter your highway.
Ta, ta!
