The T1B Rock & Roll All-Star Band

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Sep 06, 2018 9:28 pm

If you wish to join this band I'm putting together, pick the instrument you want to play and give a brief description of what direction you want the band to take.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Sep 06, 2018 10:13 pm

Cowbell.

Because, well fukk, everybody knows we don't have enough yet.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Sep 06, 2018 10:50 pm

Okay, but just don't be late for rehearsal.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Sep 06, 2018 10:54 pm

I'm staking claim to the keytar...

I'd like a sort of "Safety Dance" vibe...

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:06 pm

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:16 pm

Okay, but NO thirty minute solos... :x

Rooster · Post by **Rooster** » Thu Sep 06, 2018 11:52 pm

I got dibs on the triangle. I can call y'all to dinner while hitting the hypotenuse.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Sep 07, 2018 12:20 am

I'll be the slimy, manipulative band manager who promises you fame and riches only to slide out the backdoor with my 50% cut right before your downfall.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 12:26 am

Theremin.

I can rock a theremin.

ML@Coyote · Post by **ML@Coyote** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 12:34 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:I'll be the slimy, manipulative band manager who promises you fame and riches only to slide out the backdoor with my 50% cut right before your downfall.

I'll be the pawnbroker who pays you pennies on the dollar for your instruments after said downfall.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Sep 07, 2018 12:34 am

88 wrote:Jug?

Alto or Tenor?

There's a difference, you know.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 12:39 am

ML@Coyote wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:I'll be the slimy, manipulative band manager who promises you fame and riches only to slide out the backdoor with my 50% cut right before your downfall.
I'll be the pawnbroker who pays you pennies on the dollar for your instruments after said downfall.

Does that mean you were the blind guy in "Blues Brother's"?

Nice to see ya' 'Yote!

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 1:23 am

- Drums
- quintet
- no blacks, but names like Duke Ellington or Chick Webb encouraged
- matching suits
- get your hair cut

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Sep 07, 2018 2:04 am

Hey LTS TRD2...the lead guitar slot is still open...

ML@Coyote · Post by **ML@Coyote** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 2:13 am

Jay in Phoenix wrote:Does that mean you were the blind guy in "Blues Brother's"?

Everyone who meets my wife says, "Jeez, you must be blind." So, yes, maybe I am that guy.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 2:22 am

Marty : Tell me a little about this electric piano, ML.
ML : Ah, you have a good eye, my man. That's the best in the city Chicago.
Marty : How much?
Ray : 2000 bucks and it's yours. You can take it home with you. As a matter of fact, I'll throw in the black keys for free.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Sep 07, 2018 2:32 am

Jay in Phoenix wrote: Ray : As a matter of fact, I'll throw in the black keys for free.

Wow. That got racial really fast.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 2:38 am

I will handle Groupie Quality Control. Nothing but the ~~leftovers~~ best for my T1B musical brethren.

Pretty sure that Meltspray has dibs on skin flute.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Sep 07, 2018 2:50 am

Jay in Phoenix wrote:the black keys

Overrated.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 3:22 am

Gong. I figure that might be used once or twice a night. Rest of the time I will sit back and enjoy the show.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 3:55 am

I'll play with a guitar and an Echoplex like Syd Barret in Nick's Boogie in Tonight Let's Make Love in London. Then I'll go insane, but not from acid. It will be shutyomouth and Goober arguing that will put me over.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 4:12 am

BSmack wrote:I. Then I'll go insane, but not from acid. It will be shutyomouth and Goober arguing that will put me over.

It is going to take more time for that to happen ?? That shit has got me looking for the shower rod already.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 4:37 am

88 wrote:I was just planning to follow Goob's around

Take a fucking number.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 4:41 am

Derron wrote:
BSmack wrote:I. Then I'll go insane, but not from acid. It will be shutyomouth and Goober arguing that will put me over.
It is going to take more time for that to happen ?? That shit has got me looking for the shower rod already.

ML@Coyote · Post by **ML@Coyote** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 11:43 am

Goobs rounds up our first groupie

Name: Sally Mae Kotowski

Age: 22

Education: All the way to 10th grade

Occupation: Swimwear model, car detailer

Hobbies: Scrapbooking, eating ice cream, and watching old movies

Favorite TV shows: American Idol, Let’s Make a Deal

All-time favorite movie: The Wizard of Oz

Favorite movie actor: The mayor of Munchkinland “I could just eat him alive”

Favorite movie actress: Billie Burke

Favorite quote: Wimpy, “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”

Goobs discovered this hottie squeezing her way out through the revolving door of Coog’s infamous trailer and knew right away she was perfect for the band. “There’s enough for everyone,” Goobs said. “And she never says no. Not ever. And you should see her wash a car. It blows the car washing scene from Cool Hand Luke right off the map. She washed my car a week ago, and I’ve still got wood!”

Turn ons: Ice cream, cheese sauce, peanuts

Turn offs: Vegetables, diet soft drinks

Favorite sexual position: The Fu Manchu

Favorite musical instrument: Gong. (run LS, run!)

Note to 88: Goobs isn’t likely to give this one up any time soon.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 3:54 pm

ML@Coyote · Post by **ML@Coyote** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:02 pm

Rock and what?

I could've sworn Marty said polka.

My bad.

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:11 pm

You gotta problem with a squeeze box ?

ML@Coyote · Post by **ML@Coyote** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:56 pm

Wolfman wrote:You gotta problem with a squeeze box ?

In a way, Wolfie, yes I do. Remember, I'm the pawnbroker. I'm the one that has to buy and then sell that piece of shit after the band goes under.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 9:00 pm

Derron wrote:
BSmack wrote:I. Then I'll go insane, but not from acid. It will be shutyomouth and Goober arguing that will put me over.
It is going to take more time for that to happen ?? That shit has got me looking for the shower rod already.

I suppose there's always a silver lining.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Sep 07, 2018 9:00 pm

Wolfman wrote:You gotta problem with a squeeze box ?

Momma had one, but daddy couldn't sleep all night. It was a dysfunctional household.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 9:20 pm

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:Momma had one, but daddy couldn't sleep all night. It was a dysfunctional household.

I heard that one goes "in and out and in and out." Gonna be hell for ML to resell.

ML@Coyote · Post by **ML@Coyote** » Fri Sep 07, 2018 9:37 pm

I check all instruments with a black light before purchasing.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Sep 07, 2018 11:38 pm

Guys, I think I booked us a gig...

It's at a dive called .net and we'll be opening for some act that goes by the name mvscal's mariachi experience (have you ever been...experienced?)
I couldn't swing an open bar for the band, but we can have as many mozzarella jalapeño poppers as we want.

What do you think? Maybe we should put together a set list...

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Sat Sep 08, 2018 2:31 am

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:mvscal's mariachi experience

Christ almighty

ML@Coyote · Post by **ML@Coyote** » Sat Sep 08, 2018 10:19 pm

I thought it might be nice to start things off with a catchy little contemporary tune.

https://youtu.be/6-_eLR8ycJM

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Sun Sep 09, 2018 11:32 pm

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:Guys, I think I booked us a gig...

It's at a dive called .net and we'll be opening for some act that goes by the name mvscal's mariachi experience (have you ever been...experienced?)
I couldn't swing an open bar for the band, but we can have as many mozzarella jalapeño poppers as we want.

What do you think? Maybe we should put together a set list...

Sorry, I only play in classy joints.

Like the Shattuck Ave. BART station.

Here's one of my favorite venues - the Powell St. Station.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Sep 10, 2018 5:35 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Pretty sure that Meltspray has dibs on skin flute.

Papa Willie wrote:Docket McKnigger can play skin flute!

Fat. Fucking. Retard.

And proud of it.

ML@Coyote · Post by **ML@Coyote** » Mon Sep 10, 2018 8:42 pm

Another song for the set list:

Endless Love...duet featuring Goobs and Spray.

You're every breath I take
You're every step I make

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Sep 10, 2018 9:09 pm

and was hence ignored...

That's hilarious, Obsessionspray. You've never been able to ignore me.