Looks like
armed gangs passionate supporters of
gang lord liberation leader Jimmy "Barbecue" Cherizier are increasing pressure on the unelected government of Prime Minister Ariel Henry to step down and allow free and open elections. When asked if the elections would require proof of identity, Cherizier stated, "
Hell no, you racist piece of shit. We want to guarantee the outcome of this bitch as you know, election integrity is fundamental to Democracy and our number one priority is to ensure a fair election where every vote is counted."
Henry's government was placed into power on an interim basis in 2021. Using a combination of
burning, looting, and murder persuasive tactics, Cherizer's supporters have secured significant portions of Haiti's capital city,
raising alarm prompting observation among neighboring countries and global allies. According to residents living
under siege their best lives, improvements on traditional governmental structures abound in the liberated zones. Gardens have been erected and fertilized with
the bodies of their enemies local, sustainable fertilizer. Memorials to the fallen are adorned with
poured-out forties flowers that were cut from the gardens of low level government employees whose bodies
hang gruesomely rest peacefully near their garden gates.
Cherizier's Haitian Absolution Paradise, or CHAP, appears to be a local success; residents experience less violence within the safe CHAP zones than they experience outside of them. "Way better than Gaza," said a man who read a cue card we handed him. At publication, reporters have not been allowed into the CHAP zones but locals say it looks very nice. They like the laurels particularly.
Grifter News Network reporting.
