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My uncle died in a hotel room

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2024 10:13 pm
by Slap
His name was Henry. He was known as "Hank" for short.

The day of his demise was more than 20 years ago. I remember feeling very weird when I heard some of the details.

Hank was in his 70s, and his wife had died many years prior. One day he checked into a hotel. He checked in but he didn't check out. Like a roach motel.

When Hank didn't check out and didn't notify the desk as to his plans, the front desk called the room and nobody answered. Then the hotel staff knocked on his door, but nothing...

The hotel manager finally opened his door and found him dead. They called the police. The law checked things out and I heard some details later.

No foul play. Hank had heart failure of some sort. They found Viagra or some other such dick stimulant. And they found a handful of "men's magazines" in room. The coroner's conclusion was that Hank got himself very juiced up on Viagra. And then he got himself very wound up and excited with his continual stroking. His cardiovascular system became too overwhelmed for his age and fitness level, and he died.

Hammerin' Hank jerked himself to death.

I haven't decided if it is a good or bad way to go out.

True story.

Re: My uncle died in a hotel room

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2024 10:35 pm
by mvscal
Cool story, bro.

Re: My uncle died in a hotel room

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2024 10:37 pm
by Mikey
Was it the Hotel California?

Re: My uncle died in a hotel room

Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2024 10:55 pm
by Sudden Sam
There are worse ways to go out.

Aren’t there?

Re: My uncle died in a hotel room

Posted: Tue Oct 15, 2024 12:21 am
by Biggie
Your last post was 45 days ago - a warning against using ice buckets in hotel rooms because they are repurposed jizz receptacles. What’s going on buddy

Re: My uncle died in a hotel room

Posted: Tue Oct 15, 2024 1:26 am
by HighPlainsGrifter
Hold my beer.

D. Carradine

Re: My uncle died in a hotel room

Posted: Tue Oct 15, 2024 4:06 am
by Carson
Mikey wrote: Mon Oct 14, 2024 10:37 pm Was it the Hotel California?
You can jerk off anytime you like,
But you can never leave.

Re: My uncle died in a hotel room

Posted: Tue Oct 15, 2024 4:20 am
by Diego in Seattle
Carson wrote: Tue Oct 15, 2024 4:06 am
Mikey wrote: Mon Oct 14, 2024 10:37 pm Was it the Hotel California?
You can jerk off anytime you like,
But you can never leave.
Warm smell of cadavers rising up through the air.

Re: My uncle died in a hotel room

Posted: Tue Oct 15, 2024 11:24 pm
by mvscal
Biggie wrote: Tue Oct 15, 2024 12:21 am Your last post was 45 days ago - a warning against using ice buckets in hotel rooms because they are repurposed jizz receptacles. What’s going on buddy
Sorta like Leaving Las Vegas except with bottles of Jergens and tubs of Crisco instead of booze.

Re: My uncle died in a hotel room

Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2024 3:21 am
by Slap
Biggie wrote: Tue Oct 15, 2024 12:21 am Your last post was 45 days ago - a warning against using ice buckets in hotel rooms because they are repurposed jizz receptacles. What’s going on buddy
It's just a coincidence.

Re: My uncle died in a hotel room

Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2024 3:31 am
by 88BuckeyeGrad
Is this the same uncle who chipped his front teeth on a urinal in a dive bar?

Re: My uncle died in a hotel room

Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2024 3:51 pm
by Biggie
88BuckeyeGrad wrote: Wed Oct 16, 2024 3:31 am Is this the same uncle who chipped his front teeth on a urinal in a dive bar?
Maybe he didn't understand the term "dive bar" and was trying to execute a rip entry on a urinal cake.

Re: My uncle died in a hotel room

Posted: Wed Oct 16, 2024 8:11 pm
by 88BuckeyeGrad
Biggie wrote: Wed Oct 16, 2024 3:51 pm
88BuckeyeGrad wrote: Wed Oct 16, 2024 3:31 am Is this the same uncle who chipped his front teeth on a urinal in a dive bar?
Maybe he didn't understand the term "dive bar" and was trying to execute a rip entry on a urinal cake.
We've all heard that excuse a few times before.