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Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 2:14 am
by HighPlainsGrifter
$4.69
Comes with TWO chicken patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, sesame seed bun.

Image

It's shit. Zero redeeming features.

GPete, get your spotted ass in here. WTF is this garbage?

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 2:21 am
by StrawMan
McShit

Usually 30 minutes after the complete ingestion of a McDonald's meal one is faced with McCramps. These cramps are just like regular stomach pains, but differ in the fact that they are brought on by eating McDonalds.

Usually 10-15 minutes after the McCramps/McPains occur one will get the McFarts. These are generally farts with an odor similar to that of death. They reak and reak and generally cause people with you during that time to leave.

Finally, the McCramps get so bad that you run to the washroom and begin to expell feces. These feces are refered to as McShits. They are usually consist of diharea or some liquid and some solid parts. They also have an odor of death, and can cause one to pass out if they McShit too long. Generally, after a good round of McShits, the Large Intestine feels as if it has had an enema, and is generally happy until it one eats McDonald's again.

After the McShits subside you are done with the cycle, or your body may still be undergoing the the "McShit" process, and one will continue to McFart until the McCramps go away. That is the signal to enter society once again.

Matt: Omg Dude McDonald's is so good!
Sasa: I know, but it'll be bad later man, trust me...
Matt: How do you figure?
Sasa: The McShits bro, you'll see.

----- 30 Mins Later -----

Matt: Oh dude this is killing me! Ahh, what is this sensation?
Sasa: Thats the McCramps man... I told you!


https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=McShit

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 2:45 am
by Mikey
You forgot about the McKlingons, which you need to battle using some McWet Ones.

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 2:47 am
by FiatLux
No.

We have restaurants.



Happy Roevember.

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 2:53 am
by StrawMan
Mikey wrote: Wed Nov 06, 2024 2:45 am You forgot about the McKlingons, which you need to battle using some McWet Ones.
The McWet Ones are the only way to soothe your bleeding McSphincter.

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 4:28 am
by mvscal
Finally an important topic.

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 4:33 am
by Carson
That we can all agree on.

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 8:37 pm
by Meat Head
McGas is like the neutron bomb. Leaves the building standing, kills the occupants.

May peel the paint.

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2024 4:36 pm
by HighPlainsGrifter
Is this proof of humanity's decline?

People actually liked the Big MaChicken? I refuse to believe these people are real. McDonalds paid some Chinese bots to write positive reviews. It has to be.

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2024 6:05 am
by BSmack
HighPlainsGrifter wrote:Is this proof of humanity's decline?

People actually liked the Big MaChicken? I refuse to believe these people are real. McDonalds paid some Chinese bots to write positive reviews. It has to be.
Image

Compensated endorser from Ohio.

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2024 6:17 am
by Dr_Phibes
HighPlainsGrifter wrote: Wed Nov 06, 2024 2:14 am $4.69
special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, sesame seed bun.
Do any of these things go with chicken? Maybe the bun. Onions, if they're sauteed?

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2024 7:08 pm
by Bill in Houston
Rack BSmack!

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2024 7:09 pm
by mvscal
HighPlainsGrifter wrote: Sat Nov 09, 2024 4:36 pm Is this proof of humanity's decline?

People actually liked the Big MaChicken? I refuse to believe these people are real. McDonalds paid some Chinese bots to write positive reviews. It has to be.
I was so hyped to finally try this, and it was such a major disappointment lol Bland and messy is how I would describe it. Literally no flavor to the chicken. Tasted like i was basically eating a bread and lettuce salad with mac sauce as dressing
Having a difficult time imagining anyone being "hyped" to try this. Maybe strawman can do a photo realistic image of a moron totally hyped to eat that crap.

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Sun Nov 10, 2024 7:09 pm
by mvscal
Bill in Houston wrote: Sun Nov 10, 2024 7:08 pm Rack BSmack!
2th

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2024 3:11 am
by Mikey
Just what most Americans crave I guess. Tasteless (maybe a little sweet) doughy bun, tasteless (except salty maybe), soggy greasy chicken patty, some wilted shredded lettuce, a little secret sauce packed with trans fats and preservatives (did I miss anything?). Hardly any effort to masticate, in fact you could probably chew enough to swallow without any teeth. Fills your up quickly for an hour or s, then you want some more.

What’s not to like?

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2024 5:02 am
by HighPlainsGrifter
Mikey wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 3:11 am Just what most Americans crave I guess. Tasteless (maybe a little sweet) doughy bun, tasteless (except salty maybe), soggy greasy chicken patty, some wilted shredded lettuce, a little secret sauce packed with trans fats and preservatives (did I miss anything?). Hardly any effort to masticate, in fact you could probably chew enough to swallow without any teeth. Fills your up quickly for an hour or s, then you want some more.

What’s not to like?
Nicely written. You did a great job making this thing sound awful. It's actually far worse than that. You almost need to try it just to see what I'm talking about. It's like watching a terrible movie just for the experience of sharing a terrible experience with friends.

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2024 5:55 am
by Mikey
I haven’t actually had one. I’ll take your word for it.

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Mon Nov 11, 2024 10:13 pm
by Mikey
OK so I was driving past a McDs this afternoon after dropping a bunch of junk from our garage at the Goodwill center. This is a brand new store, with a Popeye's Chicken next door and an AM/PM with a carwash, all just opened this year. So I stopped by the McDs, for maybe the second time this year, and ordered the Chicken Big Mac just for shits and giggles, to occupy my time while I waited for and went through the carwash. You were absolutely correct. No giggles involved. The pickle chip was about the most redeeming ingredient.

Next time I'm in the area and think I need some fast food breaded chicken, I'm going to try Popeye's. Or just skip it.

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 1:38 am
by HighPlainsGrifter
Thank you!

I feel much better now that someone has shared my pain. It's so bad. There are no complimenting flavors happening here. Everything clashes or adds nothing. You ever dip your chicken nuggets in Mac Sauce? Has McD's -the KING of cross-promotion- ever sold a themed meal named after a rapper or some K-Pop band and put a side of Mac Sauce with chicken nuggies? NO! Know why? Because it fucking sucks!

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 1:40 am
by Mikey
If I was blindfolded I would probably have a hard time distinguishing from the “classic” Big Mac.

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 4:46 am
by mvscal
Mikey wrote: Mon Nov 11, 2024 10:13 pm OK so I was driving past a McDs this afternoon after dropping a bunch of junk from our garage at the Goodwill center. This is a brand new store, with a Popeye's Chicken next door and an AM/PM with a carwash, all just opened this year. So I stopped by the McDs, for maybe the second time this year, and ordered the Chicken Big Mac just for shits and giggles, to occupy my time while I waited for and went through the carwash. You were absolutely correct. No giggles involved. The pickle chip was about the most redeeming ingredient.

Next time I'm in the area and think I need some fast food breaded chicken, I'm going to try Popeye's. Or just skip it.
Popeyes is money. Granted there might be some variability between locations, but they're good. Anthony Boudain was a huge fan.

Re: Anyone tried the Chicken Big Mac?

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 2:58 pm
by StrawMan
Their red beans n rice is actually pretty good.