best hockey take of the year
Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 9:36 pm
taken from another message board
neil wrote:How bad will the kings suck?
LOL!! Try "REALLY" bad!!
You have NO ONE! I don't mean like "a couple of guys" I mean NO ONE of any value. My purely objective look at the leagues rosters reveals that you are in the WORST shape of any team in the NHL right now. Not down low in the league, but LAST!!
First of all, who is your goalie? What? I can't hear you, did you say something? I think the music is too loud and I missed it, who did you say was your goalie? Chechmanek? First of all how many 3rd period leads did he blow? Second of all, he isn't even signed .. he's a UFA! Not that you couldn't sign him for the league minimum but hell, I HOPE you sign him cause he is CHOKE-A-MATIC.
Second, who in the world is going to score goals for you? Excuse me? What? Huh? FROLOV HAS LEFT FOR RUSSIA!! FROLOV IS GONE!! HELL a couple of years of Corky-lookin fat fucks hanging out by his car after practice asking him to sign their burrito-stained jersey and telling him "Alex you should really check out LetsgoKings.com I'm your biggest fan on there and it's a great community how bout I buy you a beer" it's finally gotten to him. So who? Luc???? LOL! Again, he's a UFA and you can proably pick up his sorry, effeminate, french fucking ass for the league minimum but who gives a fuck! You can have him. Allison? LOL! UFA and gimp. Deadmarsh? UFA and dizzy all the time. Conroy? 3rd line AHL player. Face it, Trent Klatt is your most skilled player!! You have NO ONE!!
Third, your defense is very suspect. Miller and Nostrom are so-so stay at home Dmen but they only stay home cause they suck at skating. If they had any offensive talent they'd get in the game, but now these two slowmotion douchebags are gonna be standing their' pudlling up the ice as the MIGHTY DUCKS OF ANAHEIM glide by under the new rules. Visnovski is a poor mans Vishnevski.
Fourth, your Coaching is clearly the worst in the league. 11 straight losses? Blowing the end of the season when you were a lock for the playoffs. Writing assignments? Changing the team "motto" halfway through the season? Pulling a Gordon Bombay move of making everyone drive in for practice, suit up then posting "no practice" and dicking the players? How many 3rd period losses? Having your best players run, injured and spit on and then refusing to dress a goon? Can you say any of THAT shit about a REAL NHL coach? NO, because Andy Murray belongs taking his constipated looking grin back to St Mary's High School.
So face it, unless you get an offense a defense and a goalie in the UFA market you are gonna suck bigtime. And even THEN your coach will fuck it up!