First things to do in a hotel room

[Bobby42]

Give yourself time to look over your room before going out; before getting shitfaced and not caring about the filth you’re diving into late night or early morning.

Black light that bed immediately. Lysol the heck outta of the TV remote.

Don’t place anything on the floor; elevate your luggage, shoes, everything. Don’t use the room drawers and keep your clothing in your luggage.

Don’t use the ice bucket without the plastic liner. Don’t use the ice bucket at all. Don’t leave anything out in the open. Stow your booze, dispose of your receipts and airline luggage tags.

Don’t answer the knock at the door. Don’t even go to the door. Don’t engage in dialog with anyone of the other side of the door. Dreadful things could happen to you.

Enjoy your stay!

[L45B]

Rack this post!

If you get cold, take a hot shower but absolutely do not:

- Touch a bed comforter without rubber gloves
- Touch a shower curtain without rubber gloves
- Touch the carpet with your bare feet
- Touch a thermostat without rubber gloves

Also, good idea to wear an N95 mask to prevent the spread of Covid, bad colds and fatigue from jet lag!

”Do you own a pair of rubber gloves??”

[Slap]

Don’t use the ice bucket at all.

True.

Hotel room spank-offs use this item as their jizz bucket.

A friend told me.

[Wolfman]

I flush the toilet to make sure it is in working order.

[Diego in Seattle]

I flush the toilet to make sure it is in working order.

Lars Launchaload approves this message.

[Rootbeer]

I stayed two nights in a Clarion Inn last weekend. Used my Hotels.com points.

Either they gave me the worst room in the building as punishment for using my points or that's the worst hotel in the company. Tub was delaminating, fridge was missing, microwave was missing, exhaust fan sounded like a Boeing with the door blown off. But the hidden art was amazing. I turned on a black light and the whole room was done up like a Jackson Pollack painting! Nice touch, Clarion.

The bed was great. I jumped right in that thing.

[Roach]

Try not to get a room next to the ice machine.

Never get into a hotel hot tub or step near the sauna. They are under maintained sesspools of wildlife waiting to infect asses pussiez and dicks and ears.

We've all seen the videos of maid service wiping toilets and glasses with the same rag, so be careful out there.

[Dr_Phibes]

When I finish contaminating the room with my squeeze, she usually hits the ice machine and mixes the drinks. She says she doesn't pee in the glass and I believe her.

- chain smoke menthols

- order romantic comedy

- hide the remote

- check all the other doors in the hall to see if anyone opens up

[Roux]

Never get into a hotel hot tub or step near the sauna. They are under maintained sesspools of wildlife waiting to infect asses pussiez and dicks and ears.

Years ago, Baton Rouge had a place called Tubmarines, it was a place that had hot tubs in private rooms that you could rent by the hour. Hell yeah I went there

[Meat Head]

- hide the remote

Carson knows where to hide the remote.

[Python]

asses pussiez dicks and ears.

Little known fact. This is the second stanza to “heads, shoulders, knees and toes”.

[Biggie]

Wife just asked why I was singing "Dicks and ears, dicks and ears."

RRRAAAAKKKKK Python

[The Whistle Is Screaming]

This whole thread is disturbing, but x2 with the Py Rack.

Clarion Inn rooty, what were you thinking?

[Softball Bat]

Rack Python!