Infamous CFB Quotes

[StrawMan]

Got this in an email from a CFB nut. You guys that follow CFB more than I do may have seen some of these before, but many are worth repeating.

"Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the football."
– John Heisman, first football coach at Rice

"I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game."
– Bear Bryant / Alabama

"It isn't necessary to see a good tackle, you can hear it!"
- Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs money, and we don't have any."
– Erik Russell / Georgia Southern

"The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it."
- Lou Holtz / Arkansas - Notre Dame

"When you win, nothing hurts."
- Joe Namath / Alabama

"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall."
- Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you."
- Woody Hayes / Ohio State

"I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation."
- Bob Devaney / Nebraska

"In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in Bear Bryant."
- Wally Butts / Georgia

"I never graduated from Iowa. But I was only there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's."
– Alex Karras / Iowa

"My advice to defensive players is to take the shortest route to the ball, and arrive in a bad humor."
- Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee

"I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades."
- Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

" Always remember Goliath was a 40-point favorite over David."
- Shug Jordan / Auburn

"I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn't recruit me "
He said, "Well, Walt, we took a look at you, and you weren't any good."
- Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State/Dallas Cowboys

"Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the steering wheel."
- Bobby Bowden / Florida State

"Football is NOT a contact sport, it is a collision sport. Dancing IS a contact sport."
- Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his post-game message to his team was;
"All those who need showers, take them."
- John McKay / USC

" If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education."
- Murray Warmath / Minnesota

"The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb."
- Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches."
- Darrell Royal / Texas

"We didn't tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking."
- John McKay / USC

"I've found that prayers work best when you have big players."
- Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players:
"He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."

[Carson]

"At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs money, and we don't have any."
– Erik Russell / Georgia Southern

Erk, not Erik.

His full name was Erskine.

A four-sport letterman at Auburn.

[88BuckeyeGrad]

Rack it. One of my favorite lines is from Lou Holtz:

At halftime of the Rose Bowl, Woody Hayes asked assistant coach Lou Holtz how USC’s O.J. Simpson could run 80 yards for a touchdown? Holtz replied, “That’s how far he had to go.”

[mvscal]

"Maybe they’ll be like this (Leach does raptor hands at the podium), like those dinosaur hands like this, And you’ve got like a tyrannosaurus rex, which is clearly really good at eating things, with big ol’ jaws and all that stuff, fairly athletic can run. Those hands are like this (gestures again)."

Mike Leach worrying about the population of Starkville, MS evolving without any hands...



RIP The Pirate

[88BuckeyeGrad]

RIP The Pirate

So true. But Mrs. 88, who multitasks through life, was certain she saw Mike Leach on the sidelines during a recent game. She would not believe that he had passed until I showed her Internet proof.

[L45B]

Definitely rack any Pirate reset.

And before there was the Pirate, there was the Head Ball Coach and his epic presser blasts. Fat Phillip Fulmer and Tennecheats were repeated targets.

“You can’t spell Citrus without UT.”

"I know why Peyton came back for his senior year. He wanted to be a three-time star of the Citrus Bowl."

[Carson]

Spurrier holds no punches.

"We like playing Georgia early in the season, because we can count on some of their players being suspended."

"Free Shoes University" is a classic.

[Moby Dick]

"THIS IS UTAH STATE!" - Bob Stoops caught on mic some years back yelling at his team

[L45B]

"We like playing Georgia early in the season, because we can count on some of their players being suspended."

This was an epic blast by the HBC. He mixed honesty and sarcasm into a beautiful beverage.