I think God just flat out hates you, Irie. Let's recap, shall we.
He's decided to bless you with a set of chompers that I couldn't get white with a belt sander and a bucket of highway paint.
He sadled you with a solid drug addiction causing you to sink to the depths of depravity to marry and fat ass skank with a penchant for letting other dudes fuck her in the ass while her husband watches longingly. Sweet ass set-up, right fellas. Hell a three some. We'd all like to get in on some of that, right?
Whoahhh nelly, no sir. See first of all we'd be thinking two chicks. Ok, so maybe a decent looking fellas as long as your tag teaming some babe right? No way... This is what was being tagged in the ass...
Now I imagine that the kind of dude who can only score a fat skeezer like that by agreeing to let her pathetic husband gaze longingly isn't your typical Brad Pitt type. Probably more along the lines of the love child of Steve Buscemi and Iggy Pop. The saving grace of this fiasco? You say you've got a couple of inches on the dude. That's not really a challenge. I'm sure my junk would shrivel up to the size of a fig if, presented in front of me on all sixes, was the skeez you married. I'm sure as she sat plumped up like a pig at a luau, the sight of an ass with more divets that than a par three in the bronx would shrivel even the most sexually deviant amongst us. But hey, scoreboard you. Your dick is bigger than the guy who's fucking your wife. You should probably tell that story on the internet.
The he decides to drop MS on you. I'm sure at this point, even Jesus was saying "C'mon pops, ease up".
But nooooo he wasn't done. I'm sure our Lord has once again seen fit to show his sense of humor in the latest woman you've hooked up with. I'm sure a refer head lawyer that hooks up with a divorced crippled paper boy is a catch for the ages. Be sure to keep us up to date on your life. Lord* knows we need the laughs.
*Literally
) wasn’t fucking her ass. He was only fucking her “from behind”. Big difference.
