What's the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?

chowd103 · Post by **chowd103** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:33 pm

No...not this thread. Please.

I said..As a kid

Playing baseball in my last year in Little League, I got hit by a pitch and without even thinking, I flung my bat at him.

It sailed over his head and I got ejected.

Would have been cool to skip it at his knees, but...just wasnt meant to be I guess.

I'll prolly come up with 1 or 2 more, but right now, 'sall I can think of.

Lizard King · Post by **Lizard King** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:36 pm

I set my grandparent's house on fire.

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:36 pm

I learned how to use a computer. sup Commodore?

Now look at the results.

The Assassin · Post by **The Assassin** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:38 pm

9 years old I tagged a block wall.

yt1300inHtown · Post by **yt1300inHtown** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:42 pm

Showed the girl next door how funny it is to piss on one of these

when its going full steam.

She flipped out and ran and told my Mom.

Trollwood Blues · Post by **Trollwood Blues** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:45 pm

Started mainlining twinkies
- lovebuzz

JCT · Post by **JCT** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:46 pm

I'm supposed to narrow this down to one thing?

ADAM · Post by **ADAM** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:52 pm

On Haloween when I was 12 I dressed as a demon.
To show off my "demonic powers" I figured I'd spray a pool of hairspray in my hand and light it on fire. Not realizing it was running down the outside of my hand and down my arm...... I lit the little pool on fire & "WHOOOOOOSH"

Ladies and genltemen I present to you "The Human Freaking Torch!

JCT · Post by **JCT** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:56 pm

Summer 1981. JCT is 9 and pops decided that I could use the lawnmower and cut the grass. I'm thinking I'm a badass because I'm using the lawnmower not realizing that my old man is sitting in the garage drinking a beer and laughing at how dumb I am for falling for

Welllllll I don't know..... - Him

pleasepleasepleaseplease - me

So anyway my dumbass is in front of our old house in NY mowing about 500 sq miles of lawn. I got on my sweet 88 numbered tank top, short NBA old school nuthugger shorts and some PrimeX tube socks (Maroon and yellow bands) pulled up to my armpits. Anyway the bag gets full of clippings and I empty it, rehook it to the back and go to start it up. One of my friends rides by on his huffy and I try to act all cool. I put my foot on top of the hot engine, reach down to pull the start cord. I give a good hard pull and the motherfucking cord jams, my foot slips off the motor and I take a header into the scalding hot engine, landing on it with my right shoulder and burning the hell out of myself and somehow managing to slice my cheek open under my right eye.

I got a 9.8 from the East German judge.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:56 pm

Four little kids in the back seat of my mom's car, I was next to the door. This was before all cars had seat belts (but at least a few years after California became a state).

I reached down to open the window and got the door handle instead. Suddenly I was no longer in the car. Luckily we were only going maybe 10 mph down a neighborhood street and I wasn't hurt at all.

That I know of.

JCT · Post by **JCT** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:58 pm

Last edited by JCT on Tue Jan 25, 2005 3:57 pm; edited 1 time in total

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:02 am

JCT wrote:Summer 1981. JCT is 9 and pops decided that I could use the lawnmower and cut the grass. I'm thinking I'm a badass because I'm using the lawnmower not realizing that my old man is sitting in the garage drinking a beer and laughing at how dumb I am for falling for

Welllllll I don't know..... - Him

pleasepleasepleaseplease - me

So anyway my dumbass is in front of our old house in NY mowing about 500 sq miles of lawn. I got on my sweet 88 numbered tank top, short NBA old school nuthugger shorts and some PrimeX tube socks (Maroon and yellow bands) pulled up to my armpits. Anyway the bag gets full of clippings and I empty it, rehook it to the back and go to start it up. One of my friends rides by on his huffy and I try to act all cool. I put my foot on top of the hot engine, reach down to pull the start cord. I give a good hard pull and the motherfucking cord jams, my foot slips off the motor and I take a header into the scalding hot engine, landing on it with my right shoulder and burning the hell out of myself and somehow managing to slice my cheek open under my right eye.

I got a 9.8 from the East German judge.

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAFUCKINGHA!

-sincerely,
Bikerack

JCT · Post by **JCT** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:04 am

Um Coodes, I was 9 then and you walked in to a bikerack last month. Bike rack has massive bode.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:05 am

Yeah, sure you were 9

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:06 am

And the bike rack thing was a fucking YEAR ago

And it was DARK

lovebuzz · Post by **lovebuzz** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:16 am

gave a blank check to a short little black lady who knocked on the door and claimed she was an encyclopedia saleswoman.

i was 9.

the bitch got away with 200 bucks and the parental units beat the shit out of me.

yt1300inHtown · Post by **yt1300inHtown** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:17 am

!zzubevol wrote:gave a blank check to a short little black lady who knocked on the door and claimed she was an encyclopedia saleswoman.

No wonder IB uses so many big words.

Cueball · Post by **Cueball** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:25 am

Crossed a 2 lane highway to climb a rock structure that was the median for both directions of traffic. We proceeded to throw rocks at traffic heading in both directions. Did this for a good half hour until we hit a windshield and damn near shit our pants. Not sure how the poor bastard with the busted windshield made out.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:25 am

hoo boy...

When I was about 7, we were camping. My sister and I were a little bit away from the camp, and we were at the edge of a cliff in the woods. We were throwing stones down the cliff, and they got steadily larger. After a bit we flinging big rocks, and there was a camper and a tent near the bottom. the bigger rocks started getting closer to the tent. I hit the side of the tent with a big rock. An old lady came screaming out, and tearing up the path to where I was. My sister hauled ass out, but I was just transfixed, robotically flinging rocks down onto her camp. She made it up to me and started immediately spanking me. She dragged me back to where my parents were, and there was a can of Whoopass Deluxe opened and served 'round...

Rack Fu · Post by **Rack Fu** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:37 am

I don't have enought time to type up a response to this. It would be lengthy. I never did anything illegal but I had no fear for my personal safety. A couple of friends and I were like an early version of Jackass.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:42 am

Rack Fu wrote:I don't have enought time to type up a response to this.

Brilliant.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:44 am

Another time when I was about 9, I had a friend's BB gun. I was not allowed to have one at home (my parents were too smart to trust me with one). So, I was shooting shit up in the backyard, and I saw a little girl walking home from school on the sidewalk out front, pretty far away. My aim basically sucked, and I knew it...so, I shouldered and sighted up and let fly, never dreaming that I'd hit her. Of course, I nailed her in the kneecap. She screamed like I had fucking killed her, and she ran home. The cops showed up pretty quick, and I ran home. They were at my door in about 10 minutes, and another can of Whoopass General was opened...

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:46 am

Flaming arrows !!!
Probably after seeing a cowboy and Indian
flick--- we made bows and arrows from
shrub stems and string-- tied rags on the
arrow tips-- dipped them in kerosene and
started shooting them across our back yards.
One of them went into a neighbors garage and
caught it on fire !!!
Nice going !!

Luther · Post by **Luther** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:49 am

I was about 10, and I went and got my buddy. I thought sawing into a golf ball would be interesting. I'd heard that the center of one of the balls had a "superball" type of matter.

I forgot what brand it was...Titleist, ...dunno. I put the ball in my dads tabletop vice, and used a hacksaw to start my journey. Little wrapped rubber bands are snapping and flying off...but I fought through the flak. Just before hitting center, I obviously penetrated too far, and this compressed liquid came squirting out at us at about 132,445 fps.

Both of us staggered out of my dads garage, holding our eyes and screaming, "WE ARE BLIND...OH GOD, WE ARE BLIND...".

Parents rushed us to the Hospital and I remember having to sit under an IV drip that went into both eyes for over and hour. It was like Chinese torture...I admitted to shit that I never did.

Rip City

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:50 am

shutyomouth wrote:Fucking Euro's mother when I was 5.

She wasn't alive in the 1930s.

bbqjones · Post by **bbqjones** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:51 am

when i was 7 or eight, my stepbrother and i had a dumb little playground in the apartment complex we lived in. we used to dig holes in the sand and piss laying down.. probably looked like a couple of homos trying to hump the ground. the maintenance guy saw us and ratted us out. got my first ass-whoopin that day. after the belt had seen enough of our backs and chest and ass, we went back to our room. since it was the first beating, i was it was a bit of a shock and i asked my bro with the fro:"what do we do know?" he said: 'just pretend youre reading a book"

lovebuzz · Post by **lovebuzz** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:51 am

what is it about 9 year olds acting like complete fucktard maniacs ?!?!?!?

Rack Fu · Post by **Rack Fu** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 12:52 am

Dinsdale wrote:
Rack Fu wrote:I don't have enought time to type up a response to this.
Brilliant.

"Adequate time for a proper response" might have been a better choice of words, douchelips.

Pablo · Post by **Pablo** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:04 am

I was probably twelve and my little brother and I thought it'd be fun to drive the family van on the driveway.

Everything was going smoothly until I saw my mom's car coming down the street. I freaked and slammed on the gas in an attempt to get the van back into the garage.

Only problem was it was still in reverse and I slammed into a brick wall. Probably $2-3 grand in damage in mid-80s dollars.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:04 am

Shit, what did I do that wasn't dumb would probably be a shorter list.

Boring football one.

I guess I was 11-12. Sacked the QB and he landed on my thumb as we went down. I come up and show the coach. He takes a draw on his chewin' tobacky, spits, says "It's jammed son, pull it out and get back out there".

I do.

Game ends, celebratory lunch had with Dad and my thumb is swelling up to the size of my other hand, throbbing, throbbing.

I broke it. Don't know when, but I think I started questioning authority a bit more around then.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:14 am

When I was in Jr High and HS we had this big ass lawn that was probably 4,000 sq feet or so and shaped kind of like an amphitheater - flat on the bottom and sloped up in about 3/4 of a circle. It was my job to mow the thing. We had a pretty powerful rotary mower, where the cuttings shoot out the side or into a bag hanging off the side, and in those days the blade had a clutch. You'd start the engine with the blade disengaged and then pull this lever back to get the blade going.

The thing is, if you disengage the blade before turning off the engine the blade freewheels until it stops on it's own. Sometimes when the grass was pretty thick the sordid clambake where the clippings shot out the side would jam up and you'd have to stop the mower, reach your hand down there and clear it out. One time it got jammed, so I disengaged the blade, turned off the engine and reached in to unjam the grass. The blade was still spinning, and I stopped it with my middle finger. Didn't lose my finger but I did cut it to the bone between the 2nd and 3rd knuckle. Bled like a mofo, too. Still have a scar there more than 30 years later.

Once my dad was mowing on the sloped part when the grass was wet. He slipped on the grass and his foot slid under the mower. Cut his little toe right off.

That fuckin' mower was dangerous.

Ken · Post by **Ken** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:17 am

Lizard King wrote:I set my grandparent's house on fire.

Not quite sure why this thread needed to continue any longer after that post.

You win.

DamnTheCowboys · Post by **DamnTheCowboys** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:38 am

9 years old, and my dad is driving my brother and I home from a field where we were playing baseball. My brother had a bag of ice for his ankle, and the bag has melted for the most part. I was in the back seat and our car approached one of those spandex-wearing bikers who think they own the road. I looked over at my brother and said, "I hate those guys," and took the bag of half-melted ice and chucked it out the window and it hit the guy's front spokes. He almost wrecked, and then we came to a stoplight and the guy drove up in front of the car and started throwing a dog cussing on my dad and screaming like a lunatic. My dad just rolled his window up and waited for the light to turn green, and when it did he sped off with the guy still shaking his fist at us and yelling.
I got my ass beat when we got home. Today I still throw my empty Hardee's bags out the window, but not directly at people.

Yer a Fuckin Jerkoff · Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:46 am

I knew a kid in 6th grade who stuck his cock in a shampoo bottle and couldn't get it out and had to go to the hospital to get it removed.

As for me personally, I pissed all over the wall in a church bathroom when I was 7, and some old dude caught me and knew my parents and he ratted me out like an asshole. I got punished for that shit and I'll never forgive that old fuck. Just out of spite, I piss all over bathroom walls now just to spite him.

JCT · Post by **JCT** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 2:07 am

My parents used to have this china cabinet in the foyer of our house in NY. It was my great grandmothers or something like that, it was really old and had this curved beveled glass in it. When I was 10 or 11 a friend spent the night at my house and we decided to play sock football (with 3 or 4 socks rolled into a really tight ball) in the foyer. After 10 min or so my mom tells us to knock it off and go in the basement before we break something. Of course we ignore her and continue playing and I drop back to deliver a Joe Montana like pass to myself, except I threw it a tad too hard right into the china cabinet and shattered the freaking glass. That there was a $300 ass beating.

Rob Lowe · Post by **Rob Lowe** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 2:12 am

yt1300inHtown wrote:
!zzubevol wrote:gave a blank check to a short little black lady who knocked on the door and claimed she was an encyclopedia saleswoman.
No wonder IB uses so many big words.

Now THAT, my friends, is a TAKE.

chowd103 · Post by **chowd103** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 2:35 am

yt1300inHtown wrote:Showed the girl next door how funny it is to piss on one of these
when its going full steam.

She flipped out and ran and told my Mom.

10 minutes later...

yt1300inHtown's Mom wrote: You are not my son! You smell like piss! Go take a bath and get to bed!

Do not EVEN think about taking that dirty cat with you either!!!

JCT · Post by **JCT** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 2:51 am

I don't know if I was drunk or just retarded as a child. When I was 10ish my parents bought me a 10 speed bike. Man that was the shit, a bike that had back and front brakes. The first thing I did was of course turn the handle bars up, stoner fashion. So me and my friends go out riding around the hood and I gotta be Joe fucking cool and try to ride no hands. We're hauling ass down this street that ends in a gravel patch. I'm no handing it, getting close to the gravel and start to lose control and reach for the brake. OH FUCK that's the front brake not the rear. Front brake clamps down and there I go flying into the fucking gravel head first. Ouch some?

chowd103 · Post by **chowd103** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 2:58 am

Providence, RI, circa winter 1977. I'm 12 yrs old.
I know better but , nah. Not really. My Dad let me get away w/ many things. But #1 on his list was disrespecting my Mom. #2 was skating on a pond that wasn't approved by he himself. #3 was playing "Hookie"

Where I was from playing "Hookie" was latching onto oncoming cars, grabbing onto the bumber and going for a ride. I think in NY the call it "Skittching"

Anyway, years later I learned that my Dad had a friend get seriously hurt in a "Hookying" accident and he lost another playing hockey on an unsafe pond.

Anyway...The school day was cancelled and I hooked up with some friends who wanted to do the unthinkable. So knowing my Dad was @ work, I decided, sure.

We're doing this for about 2 hours and here comes my Dad. I almost grabbed the back bumper of that '73 Plymouth and.....

FUCK!

(He had gotten let out early due to a blizzard anticipation.)
No way was I expecting that dude to pop around the corner.

I see break lights. He looks at me and points to our house.

Gave me about 30 minutes of why I should be dead from some horrific accident and grounds me for the next 2 days.

chowd103 · Post by **chowd103** » Wed Jan 26, 2005 3:01 am

JCT wrote:I don't know if I was drunk or just retarded as a child. When I was 10ish my parents bought me a 10 speed bike. Man that was the shit, a bike that had back and front brakes. The first thing I did was of course turn the handle bars up, stoner fashion. So me and my friends go out riding around the hood and I gotta be Joe fucking cool and try to ride no hands. We're hauling ass down this street that ends in a gravel patch. I'm no handing it, getting close to the gravel and start to lose control and reach for the brake. OH FUCK that's the front brake not the rear. Front brake clamps down and there I go flying into the fucking gravel head first. Ouch some?

Rack!

Head, meet gravel!

Sincerely

-Front brakes!
____________________

Man dont front me like that!

Sincerely,
chowd about 3 days after you did that!