My Mom used to have this friend from church that would come by. This lady was as large as a fucking Sherman tank, just a big head on a huge body who always wore those mumu dresses as those probably were the only thing that she could fit in.... well anyways.....
My Brother Dave and I were pretty wasted on pot one day when the folks were out of town and decided one of us could make from the living Room through the family room to the kitchen without touching the floor. So my Mom has this furniture she had just spent her whole life savings on and here we two retards were jumping from item to item when "SNAP" we break off one of the recliners. So what two stoned dipshits do to cover their asses? They glue it back together with Elmers....
Monster lady comes over for a visit, finds said recliner to take the "weight" off and here it comes........
SNAP! the chairs folds over and the lady goes face first towards the floor as my mom watches in Horrah. It so happens of course Dave and I "stoned again" are watching from the backyard with some buddies and drop in laughter. This lady starts bawling and apologizeing to my mom and shortly leaves. Mom checks out the chair and walks into the backyard where the Hyenias are still laughing, looks at me and Dave and just says few words.
"Everyone go home."
You two "GET THE FUCK IN HERE!"
First time I ever heard Mom drop an F-Bomb and I'm hoping I'm never the target if she ever does it again. Dave and I were plain in deep shit and it took us both working a hell of a lot of overtime and a BRUTAL apology to the fat Lady before we found freedom again.
I have to admit I still laugh thinking about the lady and the snapping recliner, God will punish me for this in time..... :D