Then it comes time for my wife to open her presents.
I should point out the fact that my mother and my older sister are into all kinds of collectibles and craftmaking garbage, not unlike any other normal American family; however, they're a bit odd in some of their selections.
My mother, for instance loves geese.
Years ago, she bought this painted goose made out of decorative concrete. Basically, it's a big doorstop that stands at roughly a foot-and-a-half. No problems here ... but my mother gets bored quickly, so she starts sewing outfits for her concrete goose. Fast forward a few years and her goose has more articles of clothing than our entire family put together. Not only that, but the geese (along with outfits) are starting to spread throughout the family.
We had resisted the invasion ... until tonight.
I was expecting this moment for quite some time and, as such, was well prepared for it to finally come to pass; however, nothing in the world could prepare me for the utter shock and vomit-in-the-mouth feeling that occured when "the gift" was actually unwrapped.
Gentlemen, I present you with my new fucking doorstop ... say hello to "Allie."
Vegas has the set the early line at 20:1 on me going kcwife on Allie no later than Sunday afternoon.
