ADAMS' Slump Buster...

[ADAM]

OK fools, it's not what you think. My idea of hoggin' is not with some fat assed meth freak with cinnamon chiclets.
As some have previously read in my "And now for something completley different" thread...
I took quite the pile on, but will bend...
ADAM has decided to call an "escort service". Shit, I've WAY more than enough funds. Am still kind of bummed about the whole ordeal last week. I am a man of Iron & am not in the mood for "pillow talk". I just want to get my swerve on and forget about that bitch.

So, I asked for a brunette.

10pm EST is her due date

[Yer a Fuckin Jerkoff]

I am a man of Iron & am not in the mood for "pillow talk".

Be wearing your smoking jacket, dude. Rack you and enjoy your ho.

[chowd103]

You will get mad props by some folks here by this move ADAM, but not by me.
If you have to pay for it, you ADAM...my friend, are a loser!

It's your life, money-man, do as you please.. but one should never be so desparate!

Just my .02.


ps have fun and get her to rack the fukkin trolls on her tits and snap off a shot or 6!

[Yer a Fuckin Jerkoff]

If you have to pay for it, you ADAM...my friend, are a loser!

If you have to wait until the third date to slap the skins, which is average for most men, you have already paid double for that shit what you can pay one escort upfront with no bullshit.

[Raydah James]

Another fucking admitted loser on a message board.

:shocker:



The best part of all this?


Im not you.



Not only will my bank account stay firmly intact tonight, i'll be hitting some of the best ass god blessed this planet with.

Enjoy draining your balls and bank account on a valtrex trick tonight, tard.

[ADAM]

chowd,

I hear ya dog, but I need to get that slag out of my head!

The 3 esses are taken care of....I'm actually feeling good about doggin' this trick for....$$$
Man, I work hard and don't have time to shuffle the deck of women and hope I get "royal flush". This is about ADAM and his need catch a nut!

I met a cutie earlier this afternoon, did the whole # exchange, but I like her and am not in the mood for dogging her... She was pretty fuckin cool!

[Yer a Fuckin Jerkoff]

Another fucking admitted loser on a message board.

Not only will my bank account stay firmly intact tonight, i'll be hitting some of the best ass god blessed this planet with.

Money's not an issue here. All you gotta do is hold back on the other expenses like CDs and video games and giving to the Tsunami relief and shit like that for about a month and it all balance out. WAR escorts to help you bend in the weekend and forget about some other bitch who owes you money.

[Y2K]

"Peter Rooter," that's the name, you just flush your troubles "down the drain!"

"Peter Rooter"

"Peter Rooter"...........................

[ADAM]

Another fucking admitted loser on a message board.

:shocker:



The best part of all this?


Im not you.



Not only will my bank account stay firmly intact tonight, i'll be hitting some of the best ass god blessed this planet with.

Enjoy draining your balls and bank account on a valtrex trick tonight, tard.

Make sure you strap a board to your ass RJ.....You know nothing of my Bank account.....Before you put your worthless RJ type drivel in....Maybe your little skank is getting some on the side....As far as valtrex goes Mo Fo.....I've banged more pussy & smelled more quiff in a season than you'll ever see in your life......

You may get alot of pussy
But pull I alot more!

[Grandpa Cobra]

Dear ADAM,

Can I have your dick now that you are done with it?

Sincerely,
IRIE LAGOS

[Dinsdale]

Call me crazy, but I'll take a fat trailer bitch over a hooker any day.

The day I gotta start paying for it, well.....I dunno what I'll do, but it'll be something drastic. Maybe start using deodorant, or something.

Not down with the hookers.

That said, do they charge extra to fuck them in the pooper? I mean, you don't appear to be worried about the "unclean" angle, so why not? I would think a professional good-for-one-thing's ass would be exponentially tighter than her puss, thereby allowing you to nut quicker, thereby allowing her to get the fuck out of your face that much quicker. But, I don't really know about these things. Wish I did, since there's literally hundreds of them listed in the classifieds every week.

[Dinsdale]

I've banged more pussy & smelled more quiff in a season than you'll ever see in your life......

You may get alot of pussy
But pull I alot more!

Says the dude who has to hire a hooker to sling his goo?

Makes sense to me.

Props on the "strap a board" advice, though. Makes perfect sense, coming from you.

[Atomic Punk]

Watch a porno, beat off, and be over it in 5 minutes.

When she shows up, prop up her self o'steam by telling her you could have just beat off but your hands have been cramping today.

Make sure you tell us all about the experience in great detail after she leaves.

You KNOW you just want to tell us about it.

[JCT]

sceevy.

Fucking RACK!!! I thought my fam was the only one that said that.

[Eddie Adams]

When said Ho needs the beefsteak, have her give me a holla, yo.

[ADAM]

Call me crazy, but I'll take a fat trailer bitch over a hooker any day.

The day I gotta start paying for it, well.....I dunno what I'll do, but it'll be something drastic. Maybe start using deodorant, or something.

Not down with the hookers.

That said, do they charge extra to fuck them in the pooper? I mean, you don't appear to be worried about the "unclean" angle, so why not? I would think a professional good-for-one-thing's ass would be exponentially tighter than her puss, thereby allowing you to nut quicker, thereby allowing her to get the fuck out of your face that much quicker. But, I don't really know about these things. Wish I did, since there's literally hundreds of them listed in the classifieds every week.

For piss-sake Din. You are a young puppy still....You enjoy yourself with unshaven hippie pie.....

AP. What you do in your "free time" is your business....

[ADAM]

sceevy.

Fucking RACK!!! I thought my fam was the only one that said that.

I'm not down with the Sceevy bitches either

[Dinsdale]

You are a young puppy still....

I agree, although that would depend on definition, I suppose. I'm 37, going on 22.

You enjoy yourself with unshaven hippie pie.....

On an occasion.

[ADAM]

I agree, although that would depend on definition, I suppose. I'm 37, going on 22.

Hook, line & sinker.......

Like I really give a squirt o' piss about your age Din..
You seem awful forthcoming about something you claim to know nothing about.......
Here's a bag of marbles...Why don't you see if you can make yourself even more useless....

[ADAM]

Another fucking admitted loser on a message board.

Not only will my bank account stay firmly intact tonight, i'll be hitting some of the best ass god blessed this planet with.

Money's not an issue here. All you gotta do is hold back on the other expenses like CDs and video games and giving to the Tsunami relief and shit like that for about a month and it all balance out. WAR escorts to help you bend in the weekend and forget about some other bitch who owes you money.

Yer a Fuckin' Jerkoff.....RACK YOU!
This troll gets' it...

It'll be a cold day in hell before I let you turds pic whytch me

I'll be sure to think of none of you puds.....

Late...Out....

RACK EVEL

[SaladTosser]

Call me crazy, but I'll take a fat trailer bitch over a hooker any day.

The day I gotta start paying for it, well.....I dunno what I'll do, but it'll be something drastic. Maybe start using deodorant, or something.

Not down with the hookers.

That said, do they charge extra to fuck them in the pooper?

RACK


See, Dins, that's what these cats don't get. THAT's why fat trailer bitches were invented - so dudes like us don't have to PAY for pussy. Sure, I'd like to have sex with a "so called" attractive woman, but you know what, I really don't have the time nor energy to go through the fucking process of doing stupid shit like buying drinks, carrying on a conversation, acting like I want to call them sometime and really get to know them as a person. Give me a fucking break. Give me slop. Give me the pile of shit who has never been hit on by a guy. Give me the filthy pig who gets blurry vision and hears 'Dream Weaver' in her wax-filled ears every time I look into her eyes. Some people think this way of thinking is immoral and down-right rude. You know what? A. I don't give a fuck, because over the last 20 years I can confidently say that I've gotten laid 95% of the nights I've gone out, and B. I've made each and every one of those fucking bovines feel like a princess for a night without ever promising anything more than a little fun with no promise of another meeting.

Long story short, don't pay for pussy. Man up and grow your own corn. Even if your corn ends up tasting like shit, you can still say with pride that you grew it yourself.

I'm 37, going on 22.

IN

[SaladTosser]

11:17, and no update?

Please tell us you didn't spend the first hour getting to know her over a few frozen Daquaris. I sure as hell hope you've just been tied up in the shower for a half hour trying to was her shit off your crank.

[Hapday]

My idea of hoggin' is not with some fat assed meth freak with cinnamon chiclets.

Yeah, all meth freaks are fat asses. :roll:

Idiot.

[bbqjones]

bwahs saladtodssasyr

dinsdsl cant fart like i do, i think im sick

[Hapday]

I've banged more pussy & smelled more quiff in a season than you'll ever see in your life......

You may get alot of pussy
But pull I alot more!

:roll: :roll: :roll:

You let everyone on this board know that you paid for a hooker tonight. Have fun paying to lose your cherry you worthless geek!

[Raydah James]

Instead of peeling back a pair of Victoria's Secret thongs to reveal a perfectly shaved fun box every time, it might be fun to push aside a pair of Wal-Mart cotton panties and find something unusual, like a mole on a meat curtain with a stand of coarse hairs growing out of it. You know what I mean. That is the spice of life.

RACK on, my good brother.

R
A
C
K

Christ. Im dying reading that.

Sig material baby.

[Ken]

If I could go back, I'd do things different. Instead of peeling back a pair of Victoria's Secret thongs to reveal a perfectly shaved fun box every time, it might be fun to push aside a pair of Wal-Mart cotton panties and find something unusual, like a mole on a meat curtain with a stand of coarse hairs growing out of it. You know what I mean. That is the spice of life.

RACK on, my good brother.

Holy shitstains, rack it!

Like a mole on a meat curtain with a stand of coarse hairs growing out of it.

BWAHAHAHAHAH!

[Trollfessor]

Friday night archive.

Since you're paying for it, let her blow you while you post, that would be epcot.

[JCT]

I hope she has a huge adam's apple and a 5 o'clock shadow.

[Trollwood Blues]

THAT's why fat trailer bitches were invented - so dudes like us don't have to PAY for pussy. Sure, I'd like to have sex with a "so called" attractive woman, but you know what, I really don't have the time nor energy to go through the fucking process of doing stupid shit like buying drinks, carrying on a conversation, acting like I want to call them sometime and really get to know them as a person. Give me a fucking break. Give me slop. Give me the pile of shit who has never been hit on by a guy. Give me the filthy pig who gets blurry vision and hears 'Dream Weaver' in her wax-filled ears every time I look into her eyes. Some people think this way of thinking is immoral and down-right rude. You know what? A. I don't give a fuck, because over the last 20 years I can confidently say that I've gotten laid 95% of the nights I've gone out, and B. I've made each and every one of those fucking bovines feel like a princess for a night without ever promising anything more than a little fun with no promise of another meeting.

Long story short, don't pay for pussy. Man up and grow your own corn. Even if your corn ends up tasting like shit, you can still say with pride that you grew it yourself.

Scan ST, Polyunsaturate Dinsdale, and RAck 88! Straight up truth!

ADAM is right that this has nothing to do with the number of digits in your bank account. All kinds of income levels lay with whores. From the "Will Werk for Foods" guy standing on the streetcorner to Donald Trump. In fact, right now Donald is wearing a pair of silk boxer shorts and grinding his liver-spotted winklefarm of a body against the highest priced whore of our time. He's no better off than you in the sexual commitment catagory but at least he had the decentcy to put her in a dress and make her feel like a woman for a few minutes. Not that you need to drop 100K on a dress before you can toss your boys onto the deck of that slut's grounded shrimp boat but quite honestly you should be showing a level of respect beyond a $5 tip. She's a woman and somebody's daughter. Here is just one idea for making yourself into something less than a complete asshole between the sheets.

Candles. You might already be using this technique but I doubt you are maximizing its potential. You know it's gonna stink like tequila/cheetos vomit when you peel the slices back on her congealed grilled cheese sammich so you gotta prepare in advance. A nice selection of aromatic candles will ready your den of iniquity for the raunchiest of plaque factories. Set your appointment a few hours ahead(which you've already done) and arrange lit candles in the room where you intend to bust your nut. Close the door on that room and wait for her elsewhere in the trailer. When you enter the room together the smell of Cinnamon, Barberry, Watermelon, or whateverthehell will be just as strong for both of you. This helps you to not smell the cologne from the three guys she just serviced in the State Farm Insurance parking garage and she will be pleasantly pleased that you a)realize you stink like a dumpster, and b)are willing to cover it up. Whores dig chivalry. And money. Whores dig chilvalry and money. Bring both to your meeting and she might pretend she's having a good time....which is nice.

[SaladTosser]

I usually nailed them again, in the light of day, not so much out of pity but out of courtesy and convenience.

Friend, this is the part that warmed my heart and brought a tear to my eye. I was actually thinking about this same thing a day or so ago. I've been meaning to post a discussion on "Morning Afters," and I might still do it.

You see, this is one area that I have always felt separates me from amateur hoggers. I ALWAYS got that shit again the next morning. Rookies and hogging versions of Easter Lillies love to brag about their "I had to gnaw my left arm off the next morning so I wouldn't wake that beast up" stories. Fuck that. To me, I looked at like an opportunity to take a swing at the warden while I was on death row. Hell, I was already down, so why not get another nut?

One quick story - In Chattanooga in 1992, I went home with my #3-ranked worst of all time. She went about 3 bills, was missing a few teeth, the remaining teeth were all spread out and varied from yellow to doo-doo brown. Her hair was greasy, she had B.O., she had a speach impediment, yadda, yadda, yadda. Anyway, she was one of the worst fucks ever; totally silent, didn't move, sucked my dick by simply just letting it sit in her mouth for a minute. Whatever. I ended up banging her from behind because that's the only way I could honestly get my 5.625" up in her.

Fastforward to the next morning: As the early morning sun hit my face, I found myself all cuddled up next to her. I recall waking up with my hand lost between her ass cheeks and the smell of pussy. Not good pussy. The smell of her cunt would have offended a bucket of chum. Anyway, I gently kissed her neck untill she woke up, then I fucked her again. As if that weren't enough, when she drove me home at 8 in the morning I invited her in, immediately bent her over my sofa, and fucked her from behind again.

Anyway, 88, props for admitting that you're man enough to hit that nasty shit again in the morning. It takes a real man to chew his cabbage twice. RACK you.

[Atomic Punk]

All of you "playas" are not seeing this from the same perspective of entertainment as I. Dude is getting his freak on and y'all should just wait for the graphic details.


Assholes.

P.S. I have a story about a potato shaped guy I glossed as "Pinky" to talk about when I feel like it.

So you "playas" keep bashing the fodder for yer badassed egos.

[Trollwood Blues]

P.S. I have a story about a potato shaped guy I glossed as "Pinky" to talk about when I feel like it.

You read a thread about a guy who is right now having a mind-blowing orgasm into a brunette-haired, experienced professional sex tool and the first thing you think about is a MAN shaped like a homoerotic vegetable? I think you're posting on the wrong board, bro.

[Atomic Punk]

I'm not clicking that link in the spirit of getting involved with your short-sighted conspiracy to get everyone to not only believe me, but believe YOU.

Come on now.

Anyway, I have a 20" dick just like.... shit I can't even remember his nick. He was twalkin' about being a "performer."

How is y'alls doins t'nite?

[chowd103]

Oh holy shit! Rack this fuckin thread!

I saw the title of this thread... and was like...Are you serious??

I knew it would end badly for ADAM.


I have nothing against the guy. Only to say that this thread will hit the archives before that pig he fukks gets her money!

[Rob Lowe]

Archive.

[SaladTosser]

Goddamn, 88. Fuck, dude.


Fanfuckingtastic. RACK the everlivingmotherfuck out of that effort, friend. There are so many gems in that post that I don't even know where to start. Excellently done.


RACK it!!!

[PSUFAN]

damn, 88 is peelin' down some wicked bananas up in this bitch. Rackamundo!

[ADAM]

Oh holy shit! Rack this fuckin thread!

I saw the title of this thread... and was like...Are you serious??

I knew it would end badly for ADAM.


I have nothing against the guy. Only to say that this thread will hit the archives before that pig he fukks gets her money!

Thank you gentlemen...
chowd, it did not end badly by any stretch
and she was no pig. Awsome hum job and a decent
fuck. Oh, and she's GONE too!
I got mine and that is that.

edit: A well spent 300$. No bullshit. Just sex & I don't feel the slightest bit bad about it...

[ElvisMonster]

There really aren't enough RACKS for 88 and ST. Excellent reads.