Should I pursue this further?

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 5:08 pm

Assume she likes to be thrown down and hammered with a throbbing, big veiny cock.

Bwaaaahaaaa.... Likely she does... it just ain't gonna be this jack off doing it.

I grew up with in a house where I was the only male. My folks split up when I was 3 and I've always lived with my mom and my sister. Yeah, I've got probably developed more sensitivity than the average guy would.

Again... this screams GAAAYYYYY....

I still don't understand the thought process of even contemplating persuing anything with someone you have never met.

Hmmmmm.... Does this qualify ??? Go to house party with 100 people, band, and tequila the theme drink of the night. Get a buzz on from tequila, smoke a little dope. See big titted female, don't have a clue what her name is. This is late 70's, when a quarter gram of coke shared with a female equaled mininmum blow job, more likely a evening of sweaty, tit fondling, crotch grabbing anything goes sex. Approach young female, not caring who she's related to, offer straight shot of imported Mexican tequila, chat her up and then suggest we go to my vehicle to snort the coke. Go to vehicle, snort 1/2 the coke, another straight shot and bury my head between her breast's. 10 minutes later we're naked, fucking away. More coke, more tequila, more fucking, great evening.

See big titted female a few more times over the course of a couple of years, repeat scenario, and then fade to black. Never saw her again and never really cared for what she felt, other than my dick smashing into her sopping snatch.

Now that is how most 20 somethings SHOULD behave, because when you meet you dream chick, marry her and then fuck her, knock her up , your days of excessive fucking are over.

Carry on with your pathetic troll routine and go ahead and commend me on smacking your limp wristed gay mother fucking ass.

UCant Unretires Again · Thu Jan 19, 2006 5:08 pm

jiminphilly wrote:translation= I've been outnumbered by emotional, whiny, hormonal bitches who have managed to slice off my dick and replace it with a mangina.

Brutal... but you may be on to something. Dude didn't have a father around to show him how to be assertive with women:

Bitch, go fetch me a chicken pot pie.
Bitch, don't you ever touch the remote control again. <<Wap!>>
Bitch, hike yer skirt up and ben dover. Daddy needs to git in some cardio while MNF is on.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 5:17 pm

All seriousness aside, Shoalzie, I think you’re putting the cart before the horse. Which can sometimes be OK, ‘cause it’s hella fun pushing from behind. But you’re talking about a long term relationship with someone you’ve never met, and that’s a bad approach, whether you’re talking about this woman, or any other woman on the planet.

If what you want is a serious relationship with a commitment, that’s cool. Just don’t expect it to happen with any particular woman. You meet a woman you’re attracted to, you date, get to know each other, and if you have a lot of common interests, she might be the one. This particular woman you’ve described is not, and never will be, related to you by blood. There is, of course, the potential for uncomfortable situations down the road, but they’d be infrequent, and certainly not insurmountable.

You’re don’t sound like the kind of guy that that looks for sex on the first date. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s also nothing wrong with casual, drug-altered (fuck you Annie) sex with someone you just met, if that’s something you’re both into. Of course, if you’re looking for something serious, something long-term, it’s probably not going to be with someone who has such a low opinion of herself that she gives it up to on the first date anyhoo.

I’ll now return this password to Goober McTuber.

Sincerely,

Your mom.

Raydah James · Post by **Raydah James** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 5:19 pm

Derron wrote:
See big titted female a few more times over the course of a couple of years, repeat scenario, and then fade to black. Never saw her again and never really cared for what she felt, other than my dick smashing into her sopping snatch.

Now that is how most 20 somethings SHOULD behave, because when you meet you dream chick, marry her and then fuck her, knock her up , your days of excessive fucking are over.

[marq=left]RACK[/marq]
[marq=right]RACK[/marq]

RACKS on the pile for Ucant and Goober as well.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 5:22 pm

Shoalzie wrote: I grew up with in a house where I was the only male.

After reading this thread I'd have to disagree. I was the only male.

Sincerely,
Sparky. Shoalzie's neutered dog.

DMike316 · Post by **DMike316** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:24 pm

Shoalzie wrote:I'm comfortable wearing pink.

Fair enough. Carry on then, Chachi.

jiminphilly · Post by **jiminphilly** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:28 pm

UCant Unretires Again wrote:
jiminphilly wrote:translation= I've been outnumbered by emotional, whiny, hormonal bitches who have managed to slice off my dick and replace it with a mangina.

Brutal... but you may be on to something. Dude didn't have a father around to show him how to be assertive with women:

Bitch, go fetch me a chicken pot pie.
Bitch, don't you ever touch the remote control again. <<Wap!>>
Bitch, hike yer skirt up and ben dover. Daddy needs to git in some cardio while MNF is on.

you don't need a fucking from some pro-family group to see why growing up with a mom AND a dad in the same house is important.

Rack that take.

Miryam · Post by **Miryam** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:28 pm

Derron wrote:Hmmmmm.... Does this qualify ??? Go to house party with 100 people, band, and tequila the theme drink of the night. Get a buzz on from tequila, smoke a little dope. See big titted female, don't have a clue what her name is. This is late 70's, when a quarter gram of coke shared with a female equaled mininmum blow job, more likely a evening of sweaty, tit fondling, crotch grabbing anything goes sex. Approach young female, not caring who she's related to, offer straight shot of imported Mexican tequila, chat her up and then suggest we go to my vehicle to snort the coke. Go to vehicle, snort 1/2 the coke, another straight shot and bury my head between her breast's. 10 minutes later we're naked, fucking away. More coke, more tequila, more fucking, great evening.

how many strains of syphillis are you carrying, again?

with all that shit in your system, how do you even know that was a chick? or a human?

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:33 pm

Wow, this is getting ugly...shame on me for being honest. Anyways, continue on with my character assassination...you guys are having yourselves a good 'ol time.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:34 pm

yeah, none of this has anything to do with you anymore. don't sweat it.

Miryam · Post by **Miryam** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:35 pm

Shoalzie wrote:
Screw_Michigan wrote:good luck, shoalz. does she hang out at any of the local bars around campus? :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

She is a WMU student but I think she commutes from home since she's finishing up her Master's. She works at Bronson Hospital right now to get her through school but she has a job lined up at Plante Moran...I'm assuming as an accountant since that's what she's getting her Master's in.

I'm hoping I can get a chance to correspond with her in someway...e-mail, IM or phone. I would totally understand if she wants to just focus on school and work right now and wait until the spring to meet up. I'm taking a couple classes in addition to working 40 hours so my plate is filled with the exception of the weekend. Hoping to get a picture soon and hopefully her e-mail address. We'll just take this one step at a time...

you sound like a genuinely nice guy.

i thought you were extinct.

you poor schlep. :(

DMike316 · Post by **DMike316** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:36 pm

Shoalzie, maybe a good ole shopping trip at the mall would make you feel better.

THERE'S A SALE AT PENNY'S !!!!!!

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:36 pm

DMike316 wrote:THERE'S A SALE AT PENNY'S !!!!!!

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:41 pm

I know you're expecting me to run away and cry but I'm getting a kick out of this. I'm not going to regain any status with any of you so it's not like I have a lot to lose by just laughing this off. I'm just going to sit back and watch insults fly. Carry on peasants, you amuse me...

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:45 pm

Character Assassination...???

Wouldn't have a thing to do with you hackin' away at your manhood with every post you put up here.

Somebody compile Sistah Shoalzie's posts from this thread and email 'em to Oprah.com.

Get him a guest visit on that damn show fo' sho'.

Maybe to discuss Spring Linens, Fabulous Footwear, or Modern Male Domestication Techniques.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:52 pm

Miryam wrote:
Derron wrote:Hmmmmm.... Does this qualify ??? Go to house party with 100 people, band, and tequila the theme drink of the night. Get a buzz on from tequila, smoke a little dope. See big titted female, don't have a clue what her name is. This is late 70's, when a quarter gram of coke shared with a female equaled mininmum blow job, more likely a evening of sweaty, tit fondling, crotch grabbing anything goes sex. Approach young female, not caring who she's related to, offer straight shot of imported Mexican tequila, chat her up and then suggest we go to my vehicle to snort the coke. Go to vehicle, snort 1/2 the coke, another straight shot and bury my head between her breast's. 10 minutes later we're naked, fucking away. More coke, more tequila, more fucking, great evening.
how many strains of syphillis are you carrying, again?

with all that shit in your system, how do you even know that was a chick? or a human?

Chick? Human? You really think Derron gives a fuck either way?

Syphilis does have the ability to cause brain damage. I think you might be on to something there.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:52 pm

Keep going guys...I'm going to reach board bitch status in no time.

DiT · Post by **DiT** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:52 pm

dawg,I'm not going to read this entire thread but I am going to tell you to use her for a cum dumpster before somebody else does :twisted:

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Jan 19, 2006 6:59 pm

Shoalz, I don't think there's anything wrong with your main pursuit here. You're like 26 or something, right? That's a little shy of the standard, or prime age to want to find someone and "settle down". You're not 18, in which case, I'd find your pursuit of "love" a little strange. Only knock I had was that you're even contemplating a relationship with someone you have not met. That's just bizarre. You have no idea if this is someone whom you will emotionally connect with. It's not all about common interests. Those things don't mean shit if there's no spark.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:04 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Shoalz, I don't think there's anything wrong with your main pursuit here. You're like 26 or something, right? That's a little shy of the standard, or prime age to want to find someone and "settle down". You're not 18, in which case, I'd find your pursuit of "love" a little strange. Only knock I had was that you're even contemplating a relationship with someone you have not met. That's just bizarre. You have no idea if this is someone whom you will emotionally connect with. It's not all about common interests. Those things don't mean shit if there's no spark.

I'm 24...turning 25 in April.

I see where you're coming from. I don't see how me looking for a relationship out of this is any different than the drooling knuckle-draggers that think I should just get her in the sack. I'm fairly certain she's not some random mattress-back and I'd be more likely to connect with her on a personal level first.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:06 pm

"Might be uncomfortable at family gatherings?"

WTF?

Wow. Sucks to be you guys.

If I see a bitch at a party/function/gathering that I've tapped over the years, there's no "discomfort" or anything of the sort, regardless whether she's whith her current old man or not -- there's a bunch of winking, knowing glances, and chuckling, as good memories of days gone by get brought up.

You tards need to learn how to fuck better if seeing an old conquest makes you "uncomfortable." Anymore when I go to a wedding reception or some such thing, I scan the bitches in the crowd, and I laugh on the inside. If any of my OG posse is there, we'll compare notes.

With every passing day, I become more and more convinced that you are all a bunch of flaming fucking faggots. You can't even discuss heterosexual sex without fagging it up, you fucking faggots.

Miryam · Post by **Miryam** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:10 pm

Dinsdale wrote:"Might be uncomfortable at family gatherings?"

WTF?

Wow. Sucks to be you guys.

If I see a bitch at a party/function/gathering that I've tapped over the years, there's no "discomfort" or anything of the sort, regardless whether she's whith her current old man or not -- there's a bunch of winking, knowing glances, and chuckling, as good memories of days gone by get brought up.

You tards need to learn how to fuck better if seeing an old conquest makes you "uncomfortable." Anymore when I go to a wedding reception or some such thing, I scan the bitches in the crowd, and I laugh on the inside. If any of my OG posse is there, we'll compare notes.

With every passing day, I become more and more convinced that you are all a bunch of flaming fucking faggots. You can't even discuss heterosexual sex without fagging it up, you fucking faggots.

^^^ proof Brokeback is really located in Oregon.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:18 pm

Hey, I'm not the one coming in here asking this board's opinion whether I should tag some smokin-hottie or not.

When the issue of nailing really hot chicks comes up, I tend to go with the autoresponse of "yes," and stick with it until some overwhelming circumstance dictates that I no longer persue relations with the hottie.

I always kinda thought that was SOP for most/all guys. Reading this thread, I'm both amazed and horrified to see how the other half lives.

If I would have lived the last 20 years trying to find compelling reasons why I should bang chicks, rather than the other way around, I think life would have been radically different...I'd be a fucking homo like the denizens of this board, quite possibly.

" I would stick it up her butt, but my dad's cousin's neighbor's friend's niece's dentist's friend once sat in the same movie theater as her, so I guess I'll keep it in my pants"...WTF is THAT?

Faggotry in its purest form.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:21 pm

Miryam wrote:
Shoalzie wrote:
Screw_Michigan wrote:good luck, shoalz. does she hang out at any of the local bars around campus? :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

She is a WMU student but I think she commutes from home since she's finishing up her Master's. She works at Bronson Hospital right now to get her through school but she has a job lined up at Plante Moran...I'm assuming as an accountant since that's what she's getting her Master's in.

I'm hoping I can get a chance to correspond with her in someway...e-mail, IM or phone. I would totally understand if she wants to just focus on school and work right now and wait until the spring to meet up. I'm taking a couple classes in addition to working 40 hours so my plate is filled with the exception of the weekend. Hoping to get a picture soon and hopefully her e-mail address. We'll just take this one step at a time...
you sound like a genuinely nice guy.
i thought you were extinct.

you poor schlep. :(

Yup, but keep it quiet...that take isn't going to help my street cred in here.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:22 pm

I'd be a fucking homo like the denizens of this board, quite possibly.

Why do you hang out on a board with a bunch of guys you think are homos? That sounds kinda gay to me.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:23 pm

In Heaven, they have another name for "nice guys" -- they call them "faggots," and they send them to Hell...creates kind of a Catch-22 situation when it comes to the afterlife...yet another reason you should probably tag this skank.

And always remember -- you get bonus points if you sling some in her eye.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:24 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
Why do you hang out on a board with a bunch of guys you think are homos? That sounds kinda gay to me.

Homosayswhat?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:31 pm

e wrote:assume that you should tag it until provided with evidence otherwise.

This board is all fun and games, but I'm currently sitting here in shock that there's people who actually go through life with a "think first, fuck later" mentality...absolute shock.

"Well, there's this really crazyhot chick that wants to fuck, and she might have said something about swallowing my goo, but I need to think this over before I commit my porksword to her"...

Huh? Uhm yeah, I see where you're coming from dude...I HATE fucking really hot chicks...it's so lame. You need to really think things out, because you'd hate to make your step-uncle-in-law's neighbor unconfortable or anything.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:33 pm

Someone has a 5000th post coming up...

King of Page 7!

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:41 pm

Sloalz -- another little bit of wisdom that I've garnered through years in the trenches...

If your own mother starts coming up with chicks for you to take out...well, it means your mom fears that she gave birth to a homo. Seriously.

My Mom is a little...well, a little on the strange side (:shocker:), so when I found a new parking space for Little Dinsdale, dragging them round to meet Mom wasn't always priority #1. If I went long enough without MOm seeing me with a chick, she'd start scamming up the chicks working at the grocery store and shit. "My son is about your age, and he's really good looking...are you sing;le? I'll have him stop by." I'd always respond with "you can relax mom, I'm getting some. I just don't think you and her would get along very well, and I doubt she'll be around very long anyway."

But anyway, bottom line -- if your freaking MOM is trying to set you up, you're not honoring your Contract With Your Penis. Moms only do that stuff if they think you've gone gay.

If not for your penis, if not for your manhood, if not for the losers on this board...then at least fuck this nasty little thing for your own mother...she's worried about you.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:46 pm

Dinsdale wrote:If your own mother starts coming up with chicks for you to take out...well, it means your mom fears that she gave birth to a homo. Seriously.

This young lady was brought to my attention simply because she's my age and in the same situation socially and personally and she knows I've been feeling a little down about breaking off another relationship not too long ago and I was looking to get back into the game again. If you want to spin this into me being gay or something...that's your deal.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:49 pm

No see, you're not catching on --

It's not me "spinning" anything into you being gay.

It's your complete lack of nad and lack of desire to close a deal that's making you gay. I have nothing to do with it...I'm just the messenger.

And if you think I'm kidding about your mother's disappointment, think again. If you think I'm not serious, I'll have her call you herself...when she gets out from under my desk.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:54 pm

Dinsdale wrote:And if you think I'm kidding about your mother's disappointment, think again. If you think I'm not serious, I'll have her call you herself...when she gets out from under my desk.

Congrats on the first 'yo mamma' joke on page 7...I was begining to think the board has lost its touch.

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:56 pm

RACK THESE TWO:

PSUFAN wrote:Mom: Shoalz, hon...I know this hot POA. You should prod her with your scaley cack.
Dad: Shoalz, sensitive knows best. Maybe one day you'll make a connection with this girl. Gladly pay her today for some cheesesteaks next week.

Goober McTuber wrote:All seriousness aside, Shoalzie, I think you’re putting the cart before the horse. Which can sometimes be OK, ‘cause it’s hella fun pushing from behind. But you’re talking about a long term relationship with someone you’ve never met, and that’s a bad approach, whether you’re talking about this woman, or any other woman on the planet.

If what you want is a serious relationship with a commitment, that’s cool. Just don’t expect it to happen with any particular woman. You meet a woman you’re attracted to, you date, get to know each other, and if you have a lot of common interests, she might be the one. This particular woman you’ve described is not, and never will be, related to you by blood. There is, of course, the potential for uncomfortable situations down the road, but they’d be infrequent, and certainly not insurmountable.

You’re don’t sound like the kind of guy that that looks for sex on the first date. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s also nothing wrong with casual, drug-altered (fuck you Annie) sex with someone you just met, if that’s something you’re both into. Of course, if you’re looking for something serious, something long-term, it’s probably not going to be with someone who has such a low opinion of herself that she gives it up to on the first date anyhoo.

I’ll now return this password to Goober McTuber.

Sincerely,

Your mom.

ARCHIVE!!!

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 7:58 pm

Cicero wrote:ARCHIVE!!!

That's what I'm afraid of...

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Jan 19, 2006 8:17 pm

Dinsdale wrote:No see, you're not catching on --

It's not me "spinning" anything into you being gay.

It's your complete lack of nad and lack of desire to close a deal that's making you gay. I have nothing to do with it...I'm just the messenger.

And if you think I'm kidding about your mother's disappointment, think again. If you think I'm not serious, I'll have her call you herself...when she gets out from under my desk.

It's very possible he's incredibly ugly, causing self esteem problems as opposed to problems of gayness.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 8:34 pm

This young lady was brought to my attention simply because she's my age and in the same situation socially and personally

Then do nothing. If she's as fucked up in the head and as indecisive as you are, her snatch will grow closed before anything more than her own finger gets in there. No problem there, you two can sit and talk about your "failed" relationships and cry like little bitches to each other. How sensitive.

I was looking to get back into the game again.

It's called grudge fucking or rebound pound. If you break up with a chick, and you have not shagged another one in 2 weeks or less, you are certifiably GAY.

Shoalize thoughts inside his tourtured brain:

"HMMM... I am thinking about "dating" again. This chick is thinking about "dating" for the first time. I havn't been laid in months. Let me think of about a thousand reasons not to try and bop this cunt, and try to have all the perv's on some internet message board tell me what a fuck tool I am, while I pray for self validation, and continue to be bitch slapped over this stupid issue.

Naaa... I think I will just stay at home and surf the net for porn and jerk off to those Libby Hoeler videos again. That sounds like more fun that banging some horny chick.

Besides, after these dudes on theoneboard get done ass fucking me, I would just bleed all over the slunts bed and have to borrow a tampon from here, and that would give me wood."

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 8:47 pm

how many strains of syphillis are you carrying, again?
Shocked

with all that shit in your system, how do you even know that was a chick? or a human?

Chick? Human? You really think Derron gives a fuck either way?

You fucking lightweight cunt pussy man.

Contrary to pussies like you guys, some people can drink, smoke dope and snort blow and function like... REAL MEN.

If you have never had the most enjoyable experience of blowing a bunch of coke, and then trying to grind your loins raw with a willing oppositie sex partner for 4 or 20 hours, then you fucking missed out. Now this was over 20 years ago I did this, when I was young and had the physical ability to do it safely and have fun.

Behaved like this from about 1972 to 1979, never got the clap, or anything, and I had A LOT OF FUN. That was before most of you smart ass fucking 20 something's were even born, but I know ya all know fucking everything.

Take your aggrogant attitudes and stick them in your virgin oriffces, you bunch of hang wringing faggots and dykes.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 8:48 pm

Derron wrote:If you have never had the most enjoyable experience of blowing a bunch of coke, and then trying to grind your loins raw with a willing oppositie sex partner for 4 or 20 hours, then you fucking missed out. Now this was over 20 years ago I did this, when I was young and had the physical ability to do it safely and have fun.

The thought of a safe way to do coke and and have unprotected sex is one that blasts the irony meter out of the water.

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 8:51 pm

Derron wrote:Nigga I'll suck yo dick.