[delete] Go ahead, Luther. And still keep safe.
[delete]
Jordan and Israel or BUST
Sure, dad, just pose like Marcus Welby MD, and pretend everything's fine and safe and proper. :D
Wake up, gramps, the moral cops are here, and they've got a historical warrant...an ethical summons that claims you and your oatmeal cardboard conscience are hereby invalid, void, and blown to shit...excuse me, that's some young dumb American who foolishly volunteered to work in a military capacity for Chenron (a subsidiary of AIPAC) :(
Wake up, gramps, the moral cops are here, and they've got a historical warrant...an ethical summons that claims you and your oatmeal cardboard conscience are hereby invalid, void, and blown to shit...excuse me, that's some young dumb American who foolishly volunteered to work in a military capacity for Chenron (a subsidiary of AIPAC) :(
Friday, April 7th 6:30 PM
Today was just a long day. Not that great really. They had Huevos Rancheros (sp?) for breakfast and I thought that was pretty good. We then had a meeting and we went around the circle introducing ourselves to the new group that joined us.
Stan and Letha are nice people, but they ARE tards. Stan did 20 something years in the Navy then moved on to a thrilling job as prison guard. He met his wife Letha, who was also a prison guard. Wherever we go, they hold hands. I gave them distance, but maybe that isn't a good thing, considering my options for who to pal with.
We've got Jean and Anna who are sisters in law. Jean's son was killed in the line of duty last month as a New York State Police Officer. I read about it on the internet...he was checking out this vehicle/occupant who turned out to be this lookout for a bank robbery. It was going on in progress and he didn't know it. He was shot fatally but he managed to shoot two of them before dying...one of the assholes was in critical condition, but the miracles of physcians saved him. She knows I'm a retired cop and she keeps bringing up the death and well...it is bumming me out.
Lewis...I think the odds are now 60-40 that he's a pillow biter. I talked to him a little bit but it is painful. Boring ass fuck who lives in Manhattan...
MaryAnn is probably about 62 or so, but she doesn't look too bad. She lives in Half Moon Bay, Calif...which I think she said was around SF. She's a little condescending...she claims she's run marathons before.
I was wrong about the motorcycles today...we went to Latron which was a museum for Army Tanks. They had tanks all over the place. They had black tanks, white ones, teal...There is a tank that the Israeli's built themselves...featuring the engine in the front, which provided even more metal between their bodies and the incoming shell. There were pebbles/small rocks on the tank itself...whether it was in the paint, or just blasted on, I don't remember. It keeps the soldiers from slipping off when they quickly jump on.
Then we meet this guy who does the bird migration research for Israel. He tells us the expert is this Russian who sits day in and day out in front of a computer that tracks birds over the coastal/Tel Aviv area. The migration of birds over Israel has been a problem in the past for airplanes...seems birdie feathers etc. don't mix well with F15's.
They showed us a couple of damaged cockpits, and recovered bits and pieces of airplanes downed by the birds. We sat in the radar room where the birds are tracked. I sat next to the Ruskie. What a piece of shit job he has. Looks at a computer radar image of birds. All day long, week long, month long, year long.
Then we drive up to Abu Gosh, an area where in the past the people who lived here were Arab Israeli's, who got along just fine with the Jews. We went to this goat farm and ate at their small little restaurant. They brought out plates of all kinds of home made cheeses, breads, etc. We all had a glass of yogurt too. Yogurt is big in Jordan and Israel. Some people blend it and drink it just like milk.
Next they brought out big bowls of a macaroni/tomato dish that was a little bland but decent. I sat next to the sisters in law, and I'll just refer to them as sisters in the future. I was seriously bored with these blisters, but I didn't have much of a choice. Our bus driver, Nick, joined our table. He's a dual citizen of the USA and Israel. He ain't half the driver old Hamdi was in Jordan.
We went to Jaffa, which is south of Tel Aviv, but on the coast. I guess it really is just considered an extension of Tel Aviv...great views. It was now 5 PM, so we headed back to the hotel. Chuck and Shirley wanted to know if I wanted to go to dinner, but I'm not up for a big dinner.
Some decent eye candy was behind the lobby bar when we walked in. I went over and asked what was on tap and she said there was no beer on tap. I pretended to have a Sanford and Son spell and she laughed. I think for about 2.50 to 3 bucks US you can have a beer there. I might have one, and then check out the little place a few blocks away.
Tel Aviv easily kicks major ass on Amman as far as beauty, sophistication, and technology. TA could easily be my home. I was bullshitting with "Avi" who is the "know it all guy" for the hotel. He asked what I thought of Israel so far and I told him that I thought it was great. He said he was happy, ...he said most Israeli's are proud to be friends with the USA. So far every Israeli has offered a smile and a welcome...
TWIS, tomorrow we drive toward Haifa and then stay at the Dan Gardens hotel.
LTS and Risa, thanks for the consideration, since this is a smack board.
Rip City
Today was just a long day. Not that great really. They had Huevos Rancheros (sp?) for breakfast and I thought that was pretty good. We then had a meeting and we went around the circle introducing ourselves to the new group that joined us.
Stan and Letha are nice people, but they ARE tards. Stan did 20 something years in the Navy then moved on to a thrilling job as prison guard. He met his wife Letha, who was also a prison guard. Wherever we go, they hold hands. I gave them distance, but maybe that isn't a good thing, considering my options for who to pal with.
We've got Jean and Anna who are sisters in law. Jean's son was killed in the line of duty last month as a New York State Police Officer. I read about it on the internet...he was checking out this vehicle/occupant who turned out to be this lookout for a bank robbery. It was going on in progress and he didn't know it. He was shot fatally but he managed to shoot two of them before dying...one of the assholes was in critical condition, but the miracles of physcians saved him. She knows I'm a retired cop and she keeps bringing up the death and well...it is bumming me out.
Lewis...I think the odds are now 60-40 that he's a pillow biter. I talked to him a little bit but it is painful. Boring ass fuck who lives in Manhattan...
MaryAnn is probably about 62 or so, but she doesn't look too bad. She lives in Half Moon Bay, Calif...which I think she said was around SF. She's a little condescending...she claims she's run marathons before.
I was wrong about the motorcycles today...we went to Latron which was a museum for Army Tanks. They had tanks all over the place. They had black tanks, white ones, teal...There is a tank that the Israeli's built themselves...featuring the engine in the front, which provided even more metal between their bodies and the incoming shell. There were pebbles/small rocks on the tank itself...whether it was in the paint, or just blasted on, I don't remember. It keeps the soldiers from slipping off when they quickly jump on.
Then we meet this guy who does the bird migration research for Israel. He tells us the expert is this Russian who sits day in and day out in front of a computer that tracks birds over the coastal/Tel Aviv area. The migration of birds over Israel has been a problem in the past for airplanes...seems birdie feathers etc. don't mix well with F15's.
They showed us a couple of damaged cockpits, and recovered bits and pieces of airplanes downed by the birds. We sat in the radar room where the birds are tracked. I sat next to the Ruskie. What a piece of shit job he has. Looks at a computer radar image of birds. All day long, week long, month long, year long.
Then we drive up to Abu Gosh, an area where in the past the people who lived here were Arab Israeli's, who got along just fine with the Jews. We went to this goat farm and ate at their small little restaurant. They brought out plates of all kinds of home made cheeses, breads, etc. We all had a glass of yogurt too. Yogurt is big in Jordan and Israel. Some people blend it and drink it just like milk.
Next they brought out big bowls of a macaroni/tomato dish that was a little bland but decent. I sat next to the sisters in law, and I'll just refer to them as sisters in the future. I was seriously bored with these blisters, but I didn't have much of a choice. Our bus driver, Nick, joined our table. He's a dual citizen of the USA and Israel. He ain't half the driver old Hamdi was in Jordan.
We went to Jaffa, which is south of Tel Aviv, but on the coast. I guess it really is just considered an extension of Tel Aviv...great views. It was now 5 PM, so we headed back to the hotel. Chuck and Shirley wanted to know if I wanted to go to dinner, but I'm not up for a big dinner.
Some decent eye candy was behind the lobby bar when we walked in. I went over and asked what was on tap and she said there was no beer on tap. I pretended to have a Sanford and Son spell and she laughed. I think for about 2.50 to 3 bucks US you can have a beer there. I might have one, and then check out the little place a few blocks away.
Tel Aviv easily kicks major ass on Amman as far as beauty, sophistication, and technology. TA could easily be my home. I was bullshitting with "Avi" who is the "know it all guy" for the hotel. He asked what I thought of Israel so far and I told him that I thought it was great. He said he was happy, ...he said most Israeli's are proud to be friends with the USA. So far every Israeli has offered a smile and a welcome...
TWIS, tomorrow we drive toward Haifa and then stay at the Dan Gardens hotel.
LTS and Risa, thanks for the consideration, since this is a smack board.
Rip City
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The Whistle Is Screaming
- Left-handed monkey wrench
- Posts: 2880
- Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:24 pm
- Location: Eat Me Luther, Eat Me!
Luth,
Haifa has some beautiful views from up on the hill looking down on to the Med. You should have some great photo ops. I stayed at the Dans there, but I don't know if it was the Dans Garden. There was a small zoo not far from the hotel, ask about it. It might be a good place to get away for an hour or so, away from the annoying tourists you're with. :-)
Haifa has some beautiful views from up on the hill looking down on to the Med. You should have some great photo ops. I stayed at the Dans there, but I don't know if it was the Dans Garden. There was a small zoo not far from the hotel, ask about it. It might be a good place to get away for an hour or so, away from the annoying tourists you're with. :-)
Ingse Bodil wrote:rich jews aren't the same as real jews, though, right?
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Goober McTuber
- World Renowned Last Word Whore
- Posts: 25891
- Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:07 pm
Luther wrote:I guess the others jumped his statement with corroboration stories and the goobermanchild finally shut his mouth.
What's that supposed to mean? Other than that, rack your incredible adventure. I believe MaryAnn wants to get in your pants. No pics of that, please.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass
Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
Sorry Goober McTuber, ...the reference was toward Mr. Pyle.
Here is the Luth evaluation of the two Israeli beers that I had a few minutes ago. Goldstar versus Maccabe.
Winner: Goldstar.
They were 15 shekels a piece...which is about 3 bucks. The complimentary bar snack tonight was pickled olives. We've got olives all over the place here. Stubby, gnarlie wood and kind of short is the olive tree. I had olives for breakfast, lunch and now cocktail hour. I think I'm going to bypass dinner as I've got a gas bubble that could blow any minute. Somewhere in my luggage is my GAS X. I've never run a troll, so I may just register the nick, GAS X, right now.
Sorry, Prime...is that pushing things?
Rip City
Here is the Luth evaluation of the two Israeli beers that I had a few minutes ago. Goldstar versus Maccabe.
Winner: Goldstar.
They were 15 shekels a piece...which is about 3 bucks. The complimentary bar snack tonight was pickled olives. We've got olives all over the place here. Stubby, gnarlie wood and kind of short is the olive tree. I had olives for breakfast, lunch and now cocktail hour. I think I'm going to bypass dinner as I've got a gas bubble that could blow any minute. Somewhere in my luggage is my GAS X. I've never run a troll, so I may just register the nick, GAS X, right now.
Sorry, Prime...is that pushing things?
Rip City
LTS TRN 2 wrote:Sure, dad, just pose like Marcus Welby MD, and pretend everything's fine and safe and proper. :D
Wake up, gramps, the moral cops are here, and they've got a historical warrant...an ethical summons that claims you and your oatmeal cardboard conscience are hereby invalid, void, and blown to shit...excuse me, that's some young dumb American who foolishly volunteered to work in a military capacity for Chenron (a subsidiary of AIPAC) :(
TRANSLATION:
Jibberish
“It is usually futile to try to talk facts and analysis to people who are enjoying a sense of moral superiority in their ignorance.”
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Louis Cyphre
- Elwood
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smackaholic
- Walrus Team 6
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- Location: upside it
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SunCoastSooner
- Reported Bible Thumper
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Smart move flying into Jordan. I assume that was planned as I am sure you are aware that Jordan would not grant you a visa if their were Israeli stamps on your passport.
BSmack wrote:I can certainly infer from that blurb alone that you are self righteous, bible believing, likely a Baptist or Presbyterian...
Miryam wrote:but other than that, it's cool, man. you're a christer.
LTS TRN 2 wrote:Okay, Sunny, yer cards are on table as a flat-out Christer.
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Goober McTuber
- World Renowned Last Word Whore
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tough love
- Iron Mike
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We just checked into the Mount Zion hotel in Jerusalem. After we left Tel Aviv we headed up to where some of TWIS' relatives live. But before we got there were went to Caesara and saw what King Herod did for the area. The aquaducts ran from the sea inward for what I think is 7 or 9 miles. Old man Herod built the port, a man made pier that stretched a little ways out into the Med. He then charged ocean travellers a fee to park their boats at his port.
Oddly, there is only one golf course in Israel, and it is in Caesara. We didn't see it though. For lunch I had a goat cheese sandwich with tomato and then it was toasted. I've ate way too much cheese here and it bound me up big time. I finally took a shit here in Jerusalem. Then we headed for Haifa.
Haifa is awesome. I loved this place. Our hotel was the Dan Gardens and it is way up on this hill which overlooks the Haifa bay. Now this view is one of the better ones I've ever seen. I walked from the hotel toward a little shopping center and found a liquor/wine/cigar store. I bought 3 Romeo y Julietta Havana made cigars which cost 40 sheckels, which is about 8 bucks a piece. I also grabbed a bottle of Hankey something or other... a whiskey. I didn't feel like much for dinner so I just got a chicken salad at good old McDonalds. I went back to the hotel and rigged up my Canon on a tripod and got ready for some night shots.
I took down a bottle of wine and a cigar to the balcony area and had a great evening just looking at the view. Stan the New Mexico guy came down and had a beer and shot the shit. He's a nice guy, but his accent is "Early Southwestern Tard,"...
The hotel wanted 15 bucks for the wifi and I just wanted to get half in the bag, smoke a Cuban and go to bed.
The next day we left and toured a place called Tzippori which used to be called Sepphoris. This place was created around the first century and it became a Jewish center for learning...There is an ancient theatre that we tromped though.
We then booked on over to Nazareth and saw the Church of the Annunciation, which was finished in 1964. The stained glass windows here were unbelievable. Next door was Joseph's Grotto, which many believe was Joseph's workshop. I took numerous pictures here of stained glass with Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. We left and walked down the street a bit and stopped at this shop. I bought this rectangle shaped glass etched thing that depicted Mary and baby Jesus with some angels above them. I bought this lightbox, which will hold the retangle glass. You turn on the base and it had a small red light, blue light and clear light which go upwards through the glass. It slowly changes color...really cool. I thought about buying another one for Dinsdale, ...he could injest some reefer and actually engage in a conversation with Mary and Jesus.
Later in the afternoon we were in Tiberious and I went with about half the group to the Israel Diamond Exchange place. Israel is the #1 country for cutting and polishing diamonds...they export about 61 % of their stones to the good old USA. This stop hurt my wallet... I got Lil Luth a ruby ring set in white gold for her graduation from high school. Big Stan and his wife must have some bucks as they bought an emerald with some diamonds around it. When you make a purchase here, they also give you a small gift. Figure out who you think spent the most money...Luth got a small onyx Cross and Stan got a watch with a gold or what looked like a gold band. hahaha
We finished the day by driving to the Jordan River where we observed the baptismal site. If John the Baptist really dunked people at this location, then he grabbed a good one. The bank and area is pretty much all aggregate (sp) concrete, but it looks good. I did find a couple of small rocks to take home for a friend who requested them. We did see one pretty good sized fish, and from the bank it looked like a catfish. Maybe 15 pounder or so, swimming in a circle just below the surface. We then headed up a windy road to the Peace Vista Lodge.
This lodge is a 10. My cabin had a huge jacuzzi bath...I stepped out of my cabin with my cigar and hooch and walked about 15 yards to the edge of the bluff. I had a great view of the Sea of Galilee, Tiberious and the hills.
I've got to get some grub and a beer...so I'll finish up this portion a little bit later.
Rip City
Oddly, there is only one golf course in Israel, and it is in Caesara. We didn't see it though. For lunch I had a goat cheese sandwich with tomato and then it was toasted. I've ate way too much cheese here and it bound me up big time. I finally took a shit here in Jerusalem. Then we headed for Haifa.
Haifa is awesome. I loved this place. Our hotel was the Dan Gardens and it is way up on this hill which overlooks the Haifa bay. Now this view is one of the better ones I've ever seen. I walked from the hotel toward a little shopping center and found a liquor/wine/cigar store. I bought 3 Romeo y Julietta Havana made cigars which cost 40 sheckels, which is about 8 bucks a piece. I also grabbed a bottle of Hankey something or other... a whiskey. I didn't feel like much for dinner so I just got a chicken salad at good old McDonalds. I went back to the hotel and rigged up my Canon on a tripod and got ready for some night shots.
I took down a bottle of wine and a cigar to the balcony area and had a great evening just looking at the view. Stan the New Mexico guy came down and had a beer and shot the shit. He's a nice guy, but his accent is "Early Southwestern Tard,"...
The hotel wanted 15 bucks for the wifi and I just wanted to get half in the bag, smoke a Cuban and go to bed.
The next day we left and toured a place called Tzippori which used to be called Sepphoris. This place was created around the first century and it became a Jewish center for learning...There is an ancient theatre that we tromped though.
We then booked on over to Nazareth and saw the Church of the Annunciation, which was finished in 1964. The stained glass windows here were unbelievable. Next door was Joseph's Grotto, which many believe was Joseph's workshop. I took numerous pictures here of stained glass with Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. We left and walked down the street a bit and stopped at this shop. I bought this rectangle shaped glass etched thing that depicted Mary and baby Jesus with some angels above them. I bought this lightbox, which will hold the retangle glass. You turn on the base and it had a small red light, blue light and clear light which go upwards through the glass. It slowly changes color...really cool. I thought about buying another one for Dinsdale, ...he could injest some reefer and actually engage in a conversation with Mary and Jesus.
Later in the afternoon we were in Tiberious and I went with about half the group to the Israel Diamond Exchange place. Israel is the #1 country for cutting and polishing diamonds...they export about 61 % of their stones to the good old USA. This stop hurt my wallet... I got Lil Luth a ruby ring set in white gold for her graduation from high school. Big Stan and his wife must have some bucks as they bought an emerald with some diamonds around it. When you make a purchase here, they also give you a small gift. Figure out who you think spent the most money...Luth got a small onyx Cross and Stan got a watch with a gold or what looked like a gold band. hahaha
We finished the day by driving to the Jordan River where we observed the baptismal site. If John the Baptist really dunked people at this location, then he grabbed a good one. The bank and area is pretty much all aggregate (sp) concrete, but it looks good. I did find a couple of small rocks to take home for a friend who requested them. We did see one pretty good sized fish, and from the bank it looked like a catfish. Maybe 15 pounder or so, swimming in a circle just below the surface. We then headed up a windy road to the Peace Vista Lodge.
This lodge is a 10. My cabin had a huge jacuzzi bath...I stepped out of my cabin with my cigar and hooch and walked about 15 yards to the edge of the bluff. I had a great view of the Sea of Galilee, Tiberious and the hills.
I've got to get some grub and a beer...so I'll finish up this portion a little bit later.
Rip City
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ChargerMike
- 2007/2011 JFFL champ
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- Location: So.Cal.
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BSmack
- 2005 and 2010 JFFL Champion
- Posts: 29350
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:21 pm
- Location: Lookin for tards
'Scuse me while I rack this guy.Luther wrote:I thought about buying another one for Dinsdale, ...he could injest some reefer and actually engage in a conversation with Mary and Jesus.
sin
"Once upon a time, dinosaurs didn't have families. They lived in the woods and ate their children. It was a golden age."
—Earl Sinclair
"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.
- Antonio Brown
—Earl Sinclair
"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.
- Antonio Brown
I passed on more "binding" material and just ate an apple and an orange in my room. I hit the lounge at the hotel, and I asked the bartender for a beer.
"We serve no beer."
Me: Hey, good one. Really, what beers do you have on tap?
Him: No beer, just wine and liquor.
Me: Red wine, I guess.
I'm told since this is passover or soon to be, that food as we know it is gone. Passover. Bread gone. Beer (grain) gone, cereal gone. Oh boy, ""some more cheese...I just got my shitter working and now the Israeli's are going to fook with my pipes. I'll find out more what this food deal is. Supposedly a couple of people opted to do the Seder dinner tomorrow night, or at least I think it is tomorrow night. Some type of big feast just before the holiday here. I think we can get bread and forbidden stuff in the Arab quarter.
I see on CNN that Iran has announced that they enriched their uranium. I haven't really kept up on the news, but does this mean I might see a brighter light to the east while on my trip?
Travel Observations:
The "St. Peter's Fish" luncheon just a few minutes from the Sea Of Galilee was one shitty meal. The fish is Talapia, which is a nice white fish. I have it all the time in Portland, but I take the HEAD off of it, and you don't see the tail or skin either. I had it grilled and it basically blew bark.
I haven't found a round shitter in this holy land since I've been here. The square shitters work just fine, you just have many different ways to flush the things. Push button from the top, or a large plastic level, two metal squares on top...both work the same, so I don't know what the difference is between the topedo launchers.
Germans are easily the worst mannered tourists. I thought the falafel incident in Petra was limited, but NOOOooooo, ...how about where the German guide stops right in front of the gate to a site and then all the goofy looking Germs stand there and block the gate? Plus they have no voice volume lower than loud.
I think matches must be a terrorist weapon here, as nobody has them. I wanted to get some for my cigars and the guy at the cigar shop said they don't carry them. A cigar shop with no matches is like Goodyear with no tires.
Italian women tourists can and WILL try to jam a 175 pound body into a pair of stretch pants designed to be tight on Paris Hilton. Her husband/boyfriend wasn't much better as he had on a pair of blue vented plastic shoes. WTF is with all these goofy looking shoes? I've seen red, and I mean bright red plastic/rubberish looking slip on sandles...green seems to be the most popular fag shoe color, followed by a sand or a pasty white Newt Gingrich underbelly type of color.
Restaurant, tourist sites don't have ass gaskets. I haven't seen one since I landed. I don't really care that much as I don't fear toilet seat terrorists. Hell, I took a dump in the old Seattle Kingdome concourse level shitter for crissakes.
Rip City
"We serve no beer."
Me: Hey, good one. Really, what beers do you have on tap?
Him: No beer, just wine and liquor.
Me: Red wine, I guess.
I'm told since this is passover or soon to be, that food as we know it is gone. Passover. Bread gone. Beer (grain) gone, cereal gone. Oh boy, ""some more cheese...I just got my shitter working and now the Israeli's are going to fook with my pipes. I'll find out more what this food deal is. Supposedly a couple of people opted to do the Seder dinner tomorrow night, or at least I think it is tomorrow night. Some type of big feast just before the holiday here. I think we can get bread and forbidden stuff in the Arab quarter.
I see on CNN that Iran has announced that they enriched their uranium. I haven't really kept up on the news, but does this mean I might see a brighter light to the east while on my trip?
Travel Observations:
The "St. Peter's Fish" luncheon just a few minutes from the Sea Of Galilee was one shitty meal. The fish is Talapia, which is a nice white fish. I have it all the time in Portland, but I take the HEAD off of it, and you don't see the tail or skin either. I had it grilled and it basically blew bark.
I haven't found a round shitter in this holy land since I've been here. The square shitters work just fine, you just have many different ways to flush the things. Push button from the top, or a large plastic level, two metal squares on top...both work the same, so I don't know what the difference is between the topedo launchers.
Germans are easily the worst mannered tourists. I thought the falafel incident in Petra was limited, but NOOOooooo, ...how about where the German guide stops right in front of the gate to a site and then all the goofy looking Germs stand there and block the gate? Plus they have no voice volume lower than loud.
I think matches must be a terrorist weapon here, as nobody has them. I wanted to get some for my cigars and the guy at the cigar shop said they don't carry them. A cigar shop with no matches is like Goodyear with no tires.
Italian women tourists can and WILL try to jam a 175 pound body into a pair of stretch pants designed to be tight on Paris Hilton. Her husband/boyfriend wasn't much better as he had on a pair of blue vented plastic shoes. WTF is with all these goofy looking shoes? I've seen red, and I mean bright red plastic/rubberish looking slip on sandles...green seems to be the most popular fag shoe color, followed by a sand or a pasty white Newt Gingrich underbelly type of color.
Restaurant, tourist sites don't have ass gaskets. I haven't seen one since I landed. I don't really care that much as I don't fear toilet seat terrorists. Hell, I took a dump in the old Seattle Kingdome concourse level shitter for crissakes.
Rip City
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Mister Bushice
- Drinking all the beer Luther left behind
- Posts: 9490
- Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:39 pm
Shitters and bad footwear.
I gotta get me a trip to the middle east. :)
I gotta get me a trip to the middle east. :)
If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." —GWB Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000
Martyred wrote: Hang in there, Whitey. Smart people are on their way with dictionaries.
War Wagon wrote:being as how I've got "stupid" draped all over, I'm not really sure.
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Goober McTuber
- World Renowned Last Word Whore
- Posts: 25891
- Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:07 pm
Must be a pretty nasty dump when you have to change cities. Pro move, nonetheless.Luther wrote: I finally took a shit here in Jerusalem. Then we headed for Haifa.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass
Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
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Mister Bushice
- Drinking all the beer Luther left behind
- Posts: 9490
- Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:39 pm
It was the lack of a courtesy flush that made the move necessary.
If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." —GWB Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000
Martyred wrote: Hang in there, Whitey. Smart people are on their way with dictionaries.
War Wagon wrote:being as how I've got "stupid" draped all over, I'm not really sure.
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Jay in Phoenix
- Eternal Scobode
- Posts: 3701
- Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 10:46 pm
The "St. Peter's Fish" luncheon just a few minutes from the Sea Of Galilee was one shitty meal. The fish is Talapia, which is a nice white fish. I have it all the time in Portland, but I take the HEAD off of it, and you don't see the tail or skin either. I had it grilled and it basically blew bark.
Not exactly the cajun variety we had in m2's neck of the woods, eh Luth?
And to think, Toostoned went for a so-called "bike-ride" around the "park" while we scarfed quality seafood. Sucked for him!! :)
Watch for that glow to the east Luth, and don't accept any uranium nickles.
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BSmack
- 2005 and 2010 JFFL Champion
- Posts: 29350
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:21 pm
- Location: Lookin for tards
You sure he didn't "upper tank" the place?Mister Bushice wrote:It was the lack of a courtesy flush that made the move necessary.
"Once upon a time, dinosaurs didn't have families. They lived in the woods and ate their children. It was a golden age."
—Earl Sinclair
"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.
- Antonio Brown
—Earl Sinclair
"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.
- Antonio Brown
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ElvisMonster
- savvy fashionista
- Posts: 2311
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 11:46 am
- Location: All up in it.
Wednesday April 12, 5:15 PM
I had scrambled eggs and the typical veggies for breakfast...cukes, tomatoes, yogurt. Right after I boarded the bus to head to our first stop in Jerusalem, the squirts hit. I jogged off the bus and back into the hotel, but I couldn't find the bathroom on the main lobby so I quickly went down to the 5th floor and on into my room.
I put my key card on the bathroom counter while I did my version of "Dumb and Dumber" squirt scene. I then left and just as soon as the door shut and locked itself, the revenge struck again. I then realized that I left both fucking card keys in my room. So I had to run back to floor 6 which is the lobby and have them program two more keys for me. I get back to my room just in time.
It took me a total of 4 episodes to get me out of my room and back onto the bus. Imodium was flowing through my system again.
We drove and parked near the Jaffa gate into the old city of Jerusalem. Huge walled city of giants blocks of stone. This whole country, including Jordan is a mass of stone. We meandered around the Jewish quarter for awhile. I saw numerous Hasidic Jews getting ready for the Seder dinner later this afternoon. Our group was sitting in this courtyard waiting for some time to pass before our appointment to visit this synagogue, when a Hasidic Jew dropped some wood on the stone walkway. He had quite a bit in his hands and he couldn't pick it up, so he kicked it forward. I strolled over and bent down to give him a hand and he sharply says, "No, No, let the boy pick it up." A little kid behind me picks it up and I'm looking at the guy like, "WTF ?" Our guide tried to explain that the Jew would rather accept help from another Jew rather than good old Luth the pale faced American. It kind of pissed me off though.
Being around all these blisters is starting to get old. One gal has probably bought half a dozen pairs of shoes since we've been here. Norma, the old bitch from Toledo is irritating and I stayed clear of her.
We had the chicken schwarma sandwich over in the Arab quarter and we got overcharged. I had spoke to a couple of people who just came back from Jerusalem and they said they got schwarma's for about 18-20 shekels, where we got hit for 28, which is about $5.50 or so. It was good though. I ate about half of it, and decided to just carry the rest of it around in its paper bag. By the time I hit the Wailing Wall the grease was working its way out.
Speaking of the Wailing Wall, I routinely failed the electronic security metal detecter again, as usual. The IDF guy on the other side had a automatic rifle on his shoulder of some kind. I told him I had a metal knee, and then he did the basic full pat down for weapons.
At the wall, the men go to the left side, and the women go to the right. I walked up to the wall and put my hand on it...cool to the touch. I could see little bits of paper wedged into the cracks between the stone...small prayer requests etc. I said a short prayer...
Rip City
I had scrambled eggs and the typical veggies for breakfast...cukes, tomatoes, yogurt. Right after I boarded the bus to head to our first stop in Jerusalem, the squirts hit. I jogged off the bus and back into the hotel, but I couldn't find the bathroom on the main lobby so I quickly went down to the 5th floor and on into my room.
I put my key card on the bathroom counter while I did my version of "Dumb and Dumber" squirt scene. I then left and just as soon as the door shut and locked itself, the revenge struck again. I then realized that I left both fucking card keys in my room. So I had to run back to floor 6 which is the lobby and have them program two more keys for me. I get back to my room just in time.
It took me a total of 4 episodes to get me out of my room and back onto the bus. Imodium was flowing through my system again.
We drove and parked near the Jaffa gate into the old city of Jerusalem. Huge walled city of giants blocks of stone. This whole country, including Jordan is a mass of stone. We meandered around the Jewish quarter for awhile. I saw numerous Hasidic Jews getting ready for the Seder dinner later this afternoon. Our group was sitting in this courtyard waiting for some time to pass before our appointment to visit this synagogue, when a Hasidic Jew dropped some wood on the stone walkway. He had quite a bit in his hands and he couldn't pick it up, so he kicked it forward. I strolled over and bent down to give him a hand and he sharply says, "No, No, let the boy pick it up." A little kid behind me picks it up and I'm looking at the guy like, "WTF ?" Our guide tried to explain that the Jew would rather accept help from another Jew rather than good old Luth the pale faced American. It kind of pissed me off though.
Being around all these blisters is starting to get old. One gal has probably bought half a dozen pairs of shoes since we've been here. Norma, the old bitch from Toledo is irritating and I stayed clear of her.
We had the chicken schwarma sandwich over in the Arab quarter and we got overcharged. I had spoke to a couple of people who just came back from Jerusalem and they said they got schwarma's for about 18-20 shekels, where we got hit for 28, which is about $5.50 or so. It was good though. I ate about half of it, and decided to just carry the rest of it around in its paper bag. By the time I hit the Wailing Wall the grease was working its way out.
Speaking of the Wailing Wall, I routinely failed the electronic security metal detecter again, as usual. The IDF guy on the other side had a automatic rifle on his shoulder of some kind. I told him I had a metal knee, and then he did the basic full pat down for weapons.
At the wall, the men go to the left side, and the women go to the right. I walked up to the wall and put my hand on it...cool to the touch. I could see little bits of paper wedged into the cracks between the stone...small prayer requests etc. I said a short prayer...
I don't feel like having dinner with the group tonight. I'm still pissed that you can't order a freaking beer at this hotel. I'll update this shit later."Thank you God for not having that computer bomb thing blow up and send red hot nails into my ass when we crossed over at the Allenby bridge. Thank you God for briefly giving me the quickness of a young Gale Sayers when I out raced the Arabs to that ditch.
And thank you God for just allowing old Luth to have fun in this life. Talk with you later.
Amen."
Rip City
Basic decency should transcend these kinds of things...but then, I too am not among The Chosen, and thus unworthy of comment.Our guide tried to explain that the Jew would rather accept help from another Jew rather than good old Luth the pale faced American. It kind of pissed me off though.
King Crimson wrote:anytime you have a smoke tunnel and it's not Judas Priest in the mid 80's....watch out.
mvscal wrote:France totally kicks ass.
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The Whistle Is Screaming
- Left-handed monkey wrench
- Posts: 2880
- Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:24 pm
- Location: Eat Me Luther, Eat Me!
It's more of a Hassidic Jew thing. Many of them can are real assholes, but some are not They do have some odd customs/behaviors that can be misconstrude as rude, but that isn't the intent. My grandfather, who was very orthadox, hated the Hassidics.PSUFAN wrote:Basic decency should transcend these kinds of things...but then, I too am not among The Chosen, and thus unworthy of comment.Our guide tried to explain that the Jew would rather accept help from another Jew rather than good old Luth the pale faced American. It kind of pissed me off though.
More Racks for Luther! Can't wait for more pics.
Ingse Bodil wrote:rich jews aren't the same as real jews, though, right?
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ElvisMonster
- savvy fashionista
- Posts: 2311
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 11:46 am
- Location: All up in it.
I've always had the impression that Israeli chicks, like Texas chicks, are pretty hawt. Something in the water or something. Luther, can you confirm this for me? Tell them that you need to take pictures for your famous American dj friend. If you could have them write my station's call letters on their breasts, that would be a bonus. Thanks in advance, old friend.
Life's Pretty Straight Without Jimmy Medalions.
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tough love
- Iron Mike
- Posts: 1886
- Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:01 pm
- Location: Prison Urantia
Elvis raises a good point. I too have been waiting for descriptions (i.e. FUCKING PICTURES) of some hot Israeli chicks.
Now that we've got Luther's bowel movements covered, isn't it time to get to the hot Israeli chicks?
Now that we've got Luther's bowel movements covered, isn't it time to get to the hot Israeli chicks?
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PSUFAN wrote:Basic decency should transcend these kinds of things...but then, I too am not among The Chosen, and thus unworthy of comment.Our guide tried to explain that the Jew would rather accept help from another Jew rather than good old Luth the pale faced American. It kind of pissed me off though.
Those charming old Hassidics certainly don't mind accepting over $120 Billion from the U.S. over the past fifty years. They also probably appreciate that last-minute pardon by Bubba for the Hassidic bunko scam in upstate New York.