10) "Well that's great, that's just fuckin' great man. Now what the fuck are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty shit now man… That's it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do? We need God back right now, man. They're coming outta the goddamned walls. We're fucked!"
- FSU offensive coordinator Jeff Bowden on the progression of his offense and the approach of the xenomorphs.
9) "On the record? He's still in the rotation and will compete for the job like everyone else. Off the record? We made a rug out of him for the coaches' lounge. Kid somehow managed to throw another interception anyway."
- California head coach Jeff Tedford on much-maligned QB Joe Ayoob's prospects for 2006.
"Please don't hurt me."- Tennessee junior quarterback Erik Ainge, when asked about his mindset for the upcoming season.
7) "Look at my four Super Bowl rings motherfuckers! Lonta ya bamba ma tota!"
- Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis on why prep QB Jimmy Clausen committed to him.
6) "No, no, nothing's changed. Absolutely nothing's changed. La-la la-la la-la la-la you're not talking la-la la-la la-la."
- Texas head coach Mack Brown on life after Vince Young.
5) "I fucking hate this team."
- Georgia Tech junior WR Calvin Johnson, when asked why he loves his team.
4) "Who wants to do some jumpin' jacks? Somersaults? Jumpin' somersaults? Hot dang I'm jacked up for this competitive experience! This is what it's all about, just competin' and makin' sure that you give your darned best every day as much as possible. Gosh, this is just a wonderful opportunity. Who wants to make an elbow macaroni mural?"
- USC head coach Pete Carroll on whether he will utilize junior LB Keith Rivers as more of a rush end next season.
3) "Zzzzz. Snort. Zzzz."*
* "Anubis the Jackal Headed has commanded we bounce back from graduating a great senior quarterback. My earthly allotment depends on it. Amon-Ra be praised."
- Penn State head coach and arch-mummy Joe Paterno on the transition to a new signal caller.
2) "I'm a complete douche bag. Would you like to attend Notre Dame?"
- CSTV recruiting expert Tom Lemming.
1) "Rrrrwwwgh! Who wants a taste? You? You?! How 'bout fuckin' you? Take your fuckin' shirt off like a man and let's get in the death cage!"
- Ole Miss head coach Ed Orgeron, on the impact of Tennessee transfer QB Brent Schaeffer.
