Isn't Van the guy who used to....

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

...cyber with Risa?

So, I don't get it. Why is he the one lately who's been leading the torch carrying villagers
to the windmill where Fr-Annie-kenstein is holed up?

I hate public break-ups. They can be so bitter. Think of the kids.

[Van]

-I finally burned out on her racial obsession/paranoia.

-For her own good, since I do actually give a shit about her, I want her to get off the internet, throw away her 'puter for good and go out and start living a real life.

-That's it.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Okay.

[Van]

-Oh, and correct me if I'm wrong here Martyred but aren't you the legendary M. Perk, the guy who vies with Indyclown and Irie for having the the title of Single Most Embarrassing Message Board Catastrophe in the history of drunken pity fucks?

[Taint]

Remember that time when Marty went yard on Cinder's gaping snizz?

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

-Oh, and correct me if I'm wrong here Martyred but aren't you the legendary M. Perk, the guy who vies with Indyclown and Irie for having the the title of Single Most Embarrassing Message Board Catastrophe in the history of drunken pity fucks?

Wow. You lash out at me because you felt embarrased by my question.

Self esteem Van, look into it.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Remember that time when Marty went yard on Cinder's gaping snizz?

It didn't "gape".

[Van]

You know, amidst all the truly egregious shit that went on between Perk and Blondie the single most embarrassing moment still has to be the posting here of those outdoor tourist pics they shot where Blondie is very conspicuously stooping way down in an effort to not tower so much over her Gimli Perk, her Denim Clad Warrior Of Love...

Bare minimum, if I'm Gimli there I at least tell her to stand the fuck up!

"Woman, dammit, that's NOT helping!

:mad:"

[The Assassin]

Remember that time when Marty went yard on Cinder's gaping snizz?

It didn't "gape".

What did it just ooze?

[bbqjones]

i would fuck blondie and/or annie.

i said fuck, not kiss.

thane again , ive had 14 beers today.

[Risa]

Save it, Van.

[Van]

-Oh, and correct me if I'm wrong here Martyred but aren't you the legendary M. Perk, the guy who vies with Indyclown and Irie for having the the title of Single Most Embarrassing Message Board Catastrophe in the history of drunken pity fucks?

Wow. You lash out at me because you felt embarrased by my question.

Nope, I'm fine with your question. Past or present, I've clearly stated my position all along regarding Annie. I grew sick of her bullshit, definitely, but I do wish all the best for her and such things will only occur for her if she abandons every last vestige of her current life, starting with the internet.

I lashed out at you out of embarrassment, yes. Embarrassment for both you and Blondie, and especially for the incredible irony implicit in YOU being the one attempting to poke fun about anybody else's internet "relationships".

Keep in mind, champ: YOU'RE the guy about whom we all heard the horrid sexual details, straight from the horse's mouth. Whether it was PMs, IMs, e-mails, you name it, the sad and sordid tales of your sexual and physiological inadequacies were willingly described to all and sundry all over the internet by your internet lover of choice.

Really, hindsight being 20/20, I'm sure you'd agree that you probably could've chosen a more discrete sexual partner. Really, hindisght being wholly unnecessary given the knowledge you and all the rest of us already had of Blondie's penchant for drinking and then IM-ing people just to vent her spleen, you probably could've and should've chosen a more discrete sexual partner.

Really, dude, when the topic centers around internet relationships you really need to make sure and back away from the keyboard. If Irie or Fubu aren't hosting a thread entitled "Things Not To Do..." then you seriously need to push away and maybe just go and fold your laundry...

[bbqjones]

i would "fold" annie/and or blondies "laundry" anytime.

i said fold, not have several thousand internet exchanges.

then again, ive had 15 beers. today.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Alright, alright. Look, let's just knock it off with the Blondie resets because in fact, I am NOT
actually this Perk guy you keep talking about. How hilarious!
All we're doing is bumming out the actual Perk person, who is not involved in this conversation at all. So, in fairness to him....

[Risa]

Let he who didn't desecrate their body with a stupid ass Ween tat over 3/4ths of their upper arm cast the first snark.

[Van]

Martyred, if you're not in fact Perk then yep...moot point.

For whatever reason I've always been told you're Perk. If that's not true, oh well. No skin off your back.

[bbqjones]

Ween tat

sweet

i want to make love to you

[Atomic Punk]

Van, I'm guilty of perpetuating the Marty=Perk saga. I may have been the originator of the deal. I forget. At first I thought it was a Perk troll because they are both from Toronto... that much is true.

Perk has been a very good sport about all of this and is a pretty cool guy. I know, I know "ZZ said what????" Marty is like The Doktor. Gets out a good blast because he is unknown and is like some on the boards that attack and don't reveal anything about themselves.

It's a simple yet futile existence. Why post on a message board for years if you're a pussy that can only take cheap shots? It seems to work for him and he doesn't mind his role as a cheap shot artist.

bbqjones, I dare you to drink more than me today!

[bbqjones]

bbqjones, I dare you to drink more than me today!

i already have the hiccups and i sgh to drive the boy to another easteragg pary

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Van, I'm guilty of perpetuating the Marty=Perk saga. I may have been the originator of the deal. I forget. At first I thought it was a Perk troll because they are both from Toronto... that much is true.

Perk has been a very good sport about all of this and is a pretty cool guy. I know, I know "ZZ said what????" Marty is like The Doktor. Gets out a good blast because he is unknown and is like some on the boards that attack and don't reveal anything about themselves.

It's a simple yet futile existence. Why post on a message board for years if you're a pussy that can only take cheap shots? It seems to work for him and he doesn't mind his role as a cheap shot artist.

bbqjones, I dare you to drink more than me today!

Wow AP. How can someone so wise be so unemployed?

[Atomic Punk]

Look bbq, you might have to pull the trump card and tell the little guy if he wants to find more eggs, he can wait out on the curb for the Easter Bunny's taxi cab.

You can watch him from the shelter of your kitchen as you pound more suds... and laugh at him.

[Dinsdale]

Alright, alright. Look, let's just knock it off with the Blondie resets because in fact, I am NOT
actually this Perk guy you keep talking about. How hilarious!

Yeah, and if you would have kept your yap shut, it could have continued to be hilarious. Hell, for those "in the know,".....which should have been every last one of you, since this was made public info over a year ago...this has been quite hilarious watching the self-inflicted butt-kickings.

Really --it's inspired such high-level smack as "well...you're Perk." If called on this, the "smack artist" usually retruns fire with "oh yeah? Well, you're Perk." If Marty tears them a new one, the plungered victim usually picks themself up by the bootstraps at that point, and rescues their bruised ego with "you're Perk."


Van, if you never have another humble moment in your internet histrory, you really, REALLY need to reread this:

Really, dude, when the topic centers around internet relationships you really need to make sure and back away from the keyboard.

And see if you can't figure out just how big of a motherfucking tard you look like right now.

STOP! Don't pull your standard Van backpedal, don't make excuses -- jusr reread this thread, and see if you can't see the same absolute brutal plungering you just gave your own anus. It's all right there, you just have to open your eyes and look for it.

And from me to you, in all sincerety -- it was a pretty brutal beating you just put on yourself, Van. Of course, that is not how you roll -- you'll try to turn this around on to me, or Martyred, or anybody but the guy who just knocked you senseless...which was you.

Stay down on this one, Van, and live to fight another day. We all step on our own foot on an occasion. We all just usually don't do it this badly.

[Risa]

Alright, alright. Look, let's just knock it off with the Blondie resets because in fact, I am NOT
actually this Perk guy you keep talking about. How hilarious!

Yeah, and if you would have kept your yap shut, it could have continued to be hilarious. Hell, for those "in the know,".....which should have been every last one of you, since this was made public info over a year ago...

I don't buy it.

Remember that time when Marty went yard on Cinder's gaping snizz?

It didn't "gape".

Wouldn't someone who's lying embellish?



Man Up, Martyred. If Canipus can do it, so can you.

[Atomic Punk]

Wow AP. How can someone so wise be so unemployed?

This is why you are considered a gravytard-trainer. "You're Perk" blasts get trumped by employment "smack." You could have STFU for once but it is what it is.

[Van]

Dins, nah.

Much ado about nothing.

Like I said, if Martyred isn't Perk (My first sentence to him included the qualifier "correct me if I'm wrong"), no biggie. No skin off his back and he's clean out of this one. My response to him was obviously centered around the apparently mistaken notion that he's Perk. It wasn't cerntered around any embarrassment on my part.

Like I said, my deal with Annie isn't even remotely on the level of Perk's with Blondie. Unlike, say, Perk, I'm not the least bit embarrassed by anything there, and certainly there's been no embarrassing photos of me or embarrassing descriptions of my sexual prowess/equipment sent off to dozens of you morons.

There are no parallels here, as much as you wish there to be...

[Dinsdale]

My response to him was obviously centered around the apparently mistaken notion that he's Perk.

Wow. You're a fucking idiot.

So, what you're saying is that:

A) You called someone out based on false information

and

B) You got this information, and took it as gospel...WHY?

Maybe because...oh, I dunno...maybe because you didn't choose your

internet relationships

Very wisely, which caused you to glom on to any bit of bullshit certain sources cared to roll out?

Getting it yet, Vantard? If not, please continue. This is a multiple-faceted asskicking you put on yourself, there's WAY more to it. But in true Van fashion, Mr I'm The Uber Internet Poster is going to spin it and spin it, and spin it. Dude's never said anything dumb in his life...just ask him.

Of course, that is not how you roll -- you'll try to turn this around on to me, or Martyred, or anybody but the guy who just knocked you senseless...which was you.

^^^Genius.


Van, in one fell swoop, you're coming dangerously close to achieving the same "ignore that tard's posts, and scroll on by," much in the way War Wagon has, and also a certain complete unreadable stalking retard that's posted in this very thread. Please don't change avatars, since that's an easy way to know which posts to not bother with.

I've really lost my patience for both whiney retards, and for those who continually grant themselves BODE, even though every bit of evidence on the subject seems to say otherwise...like in this circumstance, for example.

I'd hate to do that, Van, but I've taken a new approach to these boards, and quite frankly, some of you have truly proven that you're really not even worthy of the time it takes to decipher your shitty posts. And while yours are generally well-written, they are very, very rarely well thought-out. And are growing tiresome.

Sorry dude, but just because you wirite well, doesn't mean well-written shit is anything besides shit. It's just prettier shit. Don't fucking bludgeon yourself senseless, then claim it didn't happen.

That's what tards do, Van. You've never been one to want to jump on the tardbandwagon(which is EXACTLY what you did here...light coming on yet?), but if that's your new MO, then thanks for the memories, Van. I won't be seeing you around much anymore. Because to reiterate -- the tards have been mounting an assault, and I have little patience for it. Nice to see you volunteered to lead their armies, though -- I'm sure they appreciate it.

[bbqjones]

bqahahahasoi

[Risa]

bqahahahasoi

i think that's Hopi for 'more honey wheat ale'?

[Van]

Dins, you can keep huffing and puffing all you want but since this was included in my first post...

correct me if I'm wrong here Martyred but aren't you the legendary M. Perk

...you've got nothing. I already prefaced what I said to the guy with a question, asking if he is in fact the right guy?

That's known in the parlance as a "qualifier", Dins. In this case it indicated a freely given admission that I didn't in fact completely trust the info I'd been given and I therefore was attempting to confirm it with him.

Then, once he said he wasn't the right guy, I ended it right then and there, as did he.

Like I said...much ado about nothing. Still, it's kinda cool to know that you've got such a hardon over the very possibility of ever catching me in a mistake.

Yes, I am that good. Your goal remains a worthy one.

[Risa]

This is a multiple-faceted asskicking you put on yourself, there's WAY more to it.

Physician, heal thyself?

Mr I'm The Uber Internet Poster is going to spin it and spin it, and spin it. Dude's never said anything dumb in his life...just ask him.

Physician, see above?

I've really lost my patience for both whiney retards, and for those who continually grant themselves BODE,

and we all know what happens when the pompous become
terribly vexed in the presence of ... well.

Sorry dude, but just because you wirite well, doesn't mean well-written shit is anything besides shit. It's just prettier shit. Don't fucking bludgeon yourself senseless, then claim it didn't happen.

Someone feeling underappreciated in the U&L?

but if that's your new MO, then thanks for the memories, Van. I won't be seeing you around much anymore.

Nice to see you volunteered to lead their armies, though -- I'm sure they appreciate it.

Or you can toke out and follow your own advice.
Don't be that which you ....

oh well, fuck it. It's a great day. Which means another
day without moisture in Albuquerque :( Cry me a river?

[Risa]

Dins, you can keep huffing and puffing all you want but since this was included in my first post...

correct me if I'm wrong here Martyred but aren't you the legendary M. Perk

You didn't really mean to be corrected, however.




Martyred, please 'Man Up'. Don't have to buy a paper.
Don't even have to show your own face. Just a scribbled
note held up in front of the camera will do.

With today's date.

[Atomic Punk]

"Don't feed the Buzzer."

[Van]

Dins, you can keep huffing and puffing all you want but since this was included in my first post...

correct me if I'm wrong here Martyred but aren't you the legendary M. Perk

You didn't really mean to be corrected, however.

Of course I did. I wanted to get it out there right away before I went any further with it. I'm well aware of how little I know regarding the various multiple identities here so I thought it best to get that issue sorted out right from the start.

Rather than tell me right off the bat that no, he's not Perk, he instead chose to attack. Seems to me that simply letting me know that no he's not Perk would've been the easiest thing to do. He didn't do that. Instead, he added another little attack, at which point, yep, I took his lack of a denial as permission to keep going.

Finally, after I'd posted my response, that's when he stepped in to clarify matters and thus put a halt to the proceedings.

That's when Dins nutted.

[Risa]

"Don't feed the Buzzer."

You're the one who called Martyred out for being a ... whatever it was you called him on the first page. some nonsense.

well, let the man Man Up.

ain't no big deal to it. what's anybody gonna do, wytch him?

yeah, like anybody's REALLY afraid of Headhunter's big dopey ass :roll:
or even Chowd's nonsense.

I already told him how he could get away with it without giving too much away.

Let the man Man Up. Unless he's really a chick all this time.
Then we can all bask in the reverse Wendy Lou scam of Martyred.

[helmet]

I know two things for absofuckinglutely sure:

1. Albert Pujols is g0d
2. bbq does not drink any kind of honey wheat froofroo Dinsy beer.

[Risa]

That's when Dins nutted.

Should never forget rule number 1: Entertainment purposes only.

Right?


nevermind.

[Risa]

I know two things for absofuckinglutely sure:

1. Albert Pujols is g0d
2. bbq does not drink any kind of honey wheat froofroo Dinsy beer.

1. according to romper room, that makes you a fag.
2. bbq is drunk. he doesn't know what he's asking for.
kinda like when he pulled and took that photo with that fat
ass-cheek-spreading weasel Karl Rove while getting
his white trash on.

so you can put anything you want in his hand. he'll drink it.

[tough love]

Taint Wrote:
Remember that time when Marty went yard on Cinder's gaping snizz?

According to Cinder, it was more like 4 inches.

[lk_pick1]

Now that I've commenced Keteling myself,

ween tat; snark and woofoo dinsy beer.

HOW MUCH FUN IS THAT TO SAY!!!

I think you shouldn't discuss people who aren't around to defend themselves, or are incapable, like I am.

[Dinsdale]

wheat ... Dinsy beer.

Does not compute.

I think I'm pretty well on-the-record as saying if it's made from wheat, it ain't beer -- it's fagwater.

Why do you mischaracterize my posts?