Charities that you can't say no to!!

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 2:13 pm

The Phone Rings... Caller ID says it's the Police.. you unwisely answer it..

Caller: Hello Jack, This is Officer Jones. How are you today? How's that new car running??

ME: GULP, thinks to self:(What did my kids do now?? Is anyone hurt??) Doing Fine Officer. The car is good! How may I help you!

Caller: Well, we are collecting money for the Police Athletic League.. Last Year, you gave $100. Would you like to do the same.. or maybe a little better??

ME: thinks to self:(Why did I pick up the phone?? DAMN!!)
Put me down for $100.

Caller: Thank you! I have a miserable life and wish I were dead!!

MINUS $100

**********************

Another Call answered (Caller ID said Unknown Name, Unknown Number)

ME: Hello!
Caller: In a slow and slurred pathetic voice... Hello, This is the Special Olympics...

ME: (thinking to self- - I could hang up.. they might not know!!- DAMN!! Caught Again!!) Hello, may I help you!

Caller: In a slow and slurred pathetic voice... Hello, This is the Special Olympics, we are raising money for the Special Olympics...Last Year, you gave $100

ME: - Put me down for the same!!

Caller: Thank you very much!!

Minus another $100

***
I hate to give money away but I feel intimidated by the cops (especially when they know me and I can't say no to the Special Olympics !!

They Know it!!

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 2:28 pm

For me its:

Musculary Dystrophy
Kids with Cancer

FUCK THE POLICE!!

DMike316 · Post by **DMike316** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 2:29 pm

BWAAHAAAHAAA!!!!!!

The retards got OVER on you.

Probably the same fukker who jacked Jokey's float tube.

Some Damn Retard · Post by **Some Damn Retard** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 2:33 pm

DMike316 wrote:BWAAHAAAHAAA!!!!!!

The retards got OVER on you.

Probably the same fukker who jacked Jokey's float tube.

BODE Retards!

UCant#2 · Post by **UCant#2** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 2:56 pm

DMike316 wrote:Probably the same fukker who jacked Jokey's float tube.

Oh man... if anyone has access to the whole thing, please post it. Probably the funniest story ever told on these boards.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 3:13 pm

It's tough to give the heave-ho to the firemen.

Same with the 10-year-old balck kids selling candybars out of a cardboard box at 9:30 p.m. with the vague spiel about "summer camp."

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 3:26 pm

Girl Scout Cookies--
I usually drop them a $10 bill and
tell them to keep the cookies and put
the money in their pocket --errr-- fund !

The Whistle Is Screaming · Thu Apr 20, 2006 3:27 pm

I used to enjoy helping poor, underpriviledged college girls earn their tuition money $1 at a time. Sometimes when I would "donate" $10 or $20 (depending on the location) they would do a special happy dance for me. I loved helping out those less fortunate, but no more :cry: ...

Signed,
Wife & children took all my "donation" money.

Jobocky · Post by **Jobocky** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 6:31 pm

The FOP (frat. order of Police) have me in the endless yearly cycle right now.

Those a-holes that go around painting your address on the curb always catch me for a $5 spot too.

United Way can suck me.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 6:49 pm

But I just couldn't see this guy writing my address down and noting that I refused to give anything to the damn fire dept.

We used to do that all the time.

Your house catches fire, you have the big one....your address is burned in every firemans head. Delayed response......get lost on the way there....2 guys only on the crew.

Fuck you cheap bastards. Even the tight wad old ladies on Social Security would donate...One old gal gave her age times 10.

Let your fucking house burn and we'll watch your cyanotic face turn purple before you die.

atomicdad · Post by **atomicdad** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 6:50 pm

I will tell them to send me some information regarding their organization and then I will make my decision if I want to give them a donation. If they don't have my address, tough shit. If they continue their spiel they get a NO on the spot.

Door to door, if they are not a neighbor kid selling something for a local school, rec league, or scouts etc they get the NO.

A few years back some greenpeace/sierra club joker came up to me on a Saturday afternoon while I was working in my garage. A few sentences into his spiel I asked him if he could spot me a $20 so I could go get a 12-pack and a can of dip. He chuckled, at which I replied, "Well can ya?". He decided not to continue on after that and went on down the street.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 7:11 pm

My father was a volunteer fireman. So I have a soft spot for the fire and ambulance crews.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 7:45 pm

I just always say I give $2000 to the Red Cross each year and that's all I donate. Of course, I don't.

The only ones I can't say no to are Girl Scout Cookies (fuck the little chicks at the supermarket!) and the neighborhood kids selling shit for sports.

atomicdad · Post by **atomicdad** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 7:55 pm

Personally, I've never had any trouble saying no to a charity.

"Not interested, DUMBFUCK" ~click~

Works every time.

FTFY

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 8:57 pm

mvscal wrote:Naw. Sometimes, if they persist, I might break out a "Did I stutter?!?" blast. That usually paralyses them with confusion long enough to make my escape.

take it to the "Mvscal's pick-up lines" thread.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 8:58 pm

I'm a sucker for the kid with the homemade lemonade stand. Gets me every time.

I pass on the carwashes, however.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 9:02 pm

Uncle Fester wrote:I'm a sucker for the kid with the homemade lemonade stand. Gets me every time.

take it to the Diego's pick-up lines thread.

well played, mvscal.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 9:39 pm

mvscal wrote:Personally, I've never had any trouble saying no to a charity.

Bullshit. You've given a lot of support to a lame duck for the past 6 years.

I find the best way to say no to charities without a trace of guilt is to be involved in one.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 9:44 pm

I'm a sucker for the kid with the homemade lemonade stand. Gets me every time.

I pass on the carwashes, however.

Yeah... the kids with a lemonade stand are great.... I drop a dollar bill on them for one 2 ounce cup of shitty lemonade, but its fun to watch them when you tell them to keep the change....

As for carwashes however, if it is the local high school cheer squad and its about a 100 fucking degrees out, I take every vehicle my company owns there. They wear sooo verrryyy little when their washing cars.....of course I only look at the ones who look 18.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Apr 20, 2006 10:02 pm

I don't take initiative to give to charity. That way I don't have to feel guilty about showing favoritism to any one group, but if I'm impressed enough by an individual's "sales pitch", I might give something.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 10:16 pm

That's a shit way to choose a charity. Did you pick a religion through those methods, as well?

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Thu Apr 20, 2006 10:27 pm

Uncle Fester wrote:I'm a sucker for the kid with the homemade lemonade stand. Gets me every time.

I pass on the carwashes, however.

Dude, I did that Lemonade stand niceness once last summer.
The girl wanted to charge me $200 for fresh squeezed lemon juice!!

Husker4ever · Post by **Husker4ever** » Fri Apr 21, 2006 4:30 am

Got a mailer from the HSUS (humane society of the united states) with all these cool personal address labels. So I mailed them 10 bucks. Now, hey hit me up 4 times a year minimum with even more labels and personalized note pads and shit like that. I feel guilty and give at least 5 bucks each time. And oddly enough since I gave that first donation....I get hit up by the march of dimes, DAV, and a few others. All with address labels included. Got about 10 thousand labels right now.