Alba to film in the 314

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 12:56 pm

Elsewhere I heard that Jessica is coming to St. Louis to film some flick.

~giggity~

She had mentioned some coffee place called Kaldi's where filming is to take place. MY OLD COFFEE SHOP!

~giggity giggity~

This place is five blocks from my fucking house!

~ giggity giggity giggity... alright~

So what's my move? How does a loser like me bed Jessica Alba? She'll be hanging out in the 'hood, maybe she'll be looking for a gentleman to show her the town and its two places of interest. Maybe she'll be looking to score some blow and I'll be her connection. What does a bigtime starlet need that I can provide?

Prototype · Post by **Prototype** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:13 pm

RULES?

jiminphilly · Post by **jiminphilly** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:14 pm

Bizzarofelice wrote: How does a loser like me bed Jessica Alba?

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:15 pm

Prototype wrote:RULES?

Here's a paitning of Kaldi's coffee shop. Lots of Wash U. tail coming in there.

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:29 pm

She is def the hottest thing there is in Hollywood. Slip her some G or something.

Neely8 · Post by **Neely8** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:33 pm

Too bad she is a prude.....

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:34 pm

There's a big park to the west of there attached to Concordia Seminary, so maybe I can act like a religious student who is wanting to learn more of the Devil's temptations. Even bigger Forest two blocks east so maybe I'll catch her jogging and bouncing and sweating on the track over there.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:43 pm

Bizzarofelice wrote:So what's my move? How does a loser like me bed Jessica Alba?

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:46 pm

Neely8 wrote:Too bad she is a prude.....

B/c she wont get naked?? Class if you ask me.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:47 pm

Goober wrote:In your dreams

No shit. But just saying "in your dreams" isn't very funny. You need to come up with a madcap scheme involving GHB, ice sculptures and an old grizzled newspaper veteran that just might work.

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:48 pm

Jesus Bace,

Send the money to get JTR and use his insider game to get you onto the set as an extra.
Tall guy at the back counter, middle of scene..

Work it hard!

Make Your Time!

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 2:04 pm

Bizzarofelice wrote:So what's my move? How does a loser like me bed Jessica Alba?

Sebastien Janikowski, your thoughts?

Seriously, good luck with that Bizz...

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 2:29 pm

Bace,

keep your taint waxed and ready. Email JAlba's handlers with some sun protection advice, and your pic. They'll be sure to respond.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 2:30 pm

Oh, and:

MtCCh, thoughts?

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 2:33 pm

I'm going to be taking pictures of her just like that except the water will be the brown, dirty Mississippi and there will be white trash casinos and abandoned chemical plants in the background.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 2:36 pm

She should always be framed thus. No landscape should ever vie for her beauty.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 2:37 pm

You can't attempt anything 'subtle' or sneaky, because she's seen that bullshit over and over again......in every which way.

You also can't try to 'kiss up' to her in some form or fashion because she's too used to that.

Neither of those tactics will make any impression at all.

My suggestion is that you wait for her limo to arrive, and you plow your rig right into it.

Stir some shit up.
It's your only opening.
Yell at her driver some.
Make an ass of yourself a bit, if need be, but be very cordial and accomodating toward her.

And let us know what happens, of course.

Some pics too, please.

The Whistle Is Screaming · Wed Jun 07, 2006 2:48 pm

Rack poptart, dude has game & big ideas.

Take his advice and you'll be posting your nuptuals countdown clock in 525,600 minutes.

GrizBearStare · Post by **GrizBearStare** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 3:06 pm

Bizzarofelice wrote:Elsewhere I heard that Jessica is coming to St. Louis to film some flick.

~giggity~

She had mentioned some coffee place called Kaldi's where filming is to take place. MY OLD COFFEE SHOP!

~giggity giggity~

This place is five blocks from my fucking house!

~ giggity giggity giggity... alright~

So what's my move? How does a loser like me bed Jessica Alba? She'll be hanging out in the 'hood, maybe she'll be looking for a gentleman to show her the town and its two places of interest. Maybe she'll be looking to score some blow and I'll be her connection. What does a bigtime starlet need that I can provide?

What do you have to offer her that she's never seen before?

NFL bedsheets? Velcro wallet?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 4:50 pm

Bizzarofelice wrote:How does a loser like me bed Jessica Alba?

First, you get yourself a snazzy suit...one with pinstripes is preferable.

Then, bust out your Russtercard, and take her out for a night on the town.

Then, go out and win about 4 World Series Rings.

You're on your way.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 4:52 pm

Oh, and I call dibs on the sig-btw.

How it was let go so long, I don't know.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 5:17 pm

Just rip a fart next to her and say "It was smelling too good with you around here" and then wink. You'll be IN.

Anything less would be uncivilized.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 5:22 pm

mvscal wrote:Your best bet is to try and sneak up on her and skeet on the back of her head real quick.

If that brings a link from Moorese, I'm hunting you down.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 5:33 pm

Neely8 wrote:Too bad she is a prude.....

did anyone see her on leno the other night? she's definitely OCD about shit being clean. i can't remember exactly what she flipped about, but it was classic hollywood retarded obsession shit.

jiminphilly · Post by **jiminphilly** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 5:39 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:
Neely8 wrote:Too bad she is a prude.....
did anyone see her on leno the other night? she's definitely OCD about shit being clean. i can't remember exactly what she flipped about, but it was classic hollywood retarded obsession shit.

So she believes in cleaning the knob in it's entirety. Rack Her.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 5:43 pm

Neely8 wrote:Too bad she is a prude.....

Wait a goddamned minute...

Every girl acts like a prude. The ones who don't are old news. The ones that do are a fantastic ride as they come to the realization that their box is a gift to be used constantly. You just gotta be the guy around when she comes to this realization.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 6:59 pm

e wrote:i can tell you what doesn't work.

~john hinckley jr.

^^^Werd.

Sin,
JTR

bbqjones · Post by **bbqjones** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 11:00 pm

im in

whos driving?

Rack Fu · Post by **Rack Fu** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 11:42 pm

Bizzarofelice wrote:Elsewhere I heard that Jessica is coming to St. Louis to film some flick.

~giggity~

She had mentioned some coffee place called Kaldi's where filming is to take place. MY OLD COFFEE SHOP!

~giggity giggity~

This place is five blocks from my fucking house!

~ giggity giggity giggity... alright~

So what's my move? How does a loser like me bed Jessica Alba? She'll be hanging out in the 'hood, maybe she'll be looking for a gentleman to show her the town and its two places of interest. Maybe she'll be looking to score some blow and I'll be her connection. What does a bigtime starlet need that I can provide?

Fantastic Four 2 (2007) (pre-production) .... Susan Storm/Invisible Woman (Vancouver, BC, Canada)
Sin City 2 (2007) (pre-production) .... Nancy Callahan (Austin, TX)
Awake (2006) (post-production) .... Sam (NYC, NY)

That's what IMDB has listed for her right now. Not seeing the 314.

Adelpiero · Post by **Adelpiero** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 11:56 pm

Rack Fu wrote:
Bizzarofelice wrote:Elsewhere I heard that Jessica is coming to St. Louis to film some flick.

~giggity~

She had mentioned some coffee place called Kaldi's where filming is to take place. MY OLD COFFEE SHOP!

~giggity giggity~

This place is five blocks from my fucking house!

~ giggity giggity giggity... alright~

So what's my move? How does a loser like me bed Jessica Alba? She'll be hanging out in the 'hood, maybe she'll be looking for a gentleman to show her the town and its two places of interest. Maybe she'll be looking to score some blow and I'll be her connection. What does a bigtime starlet need that I can provide?
Fantastic Four 2 (2007) (pre-production) .... Susan Storm/Invisible Woman (Vancouver, BC, Canada)
Sin City 2 (2007) (pre-production) .... Nancy Callahan (Austin, TX)
Awake (2006) (post-production) .... Sam (NYC, NY)

That's what IMDB has listed for her right now. Not seeing the 314.

lindsey lohan(?) backed out, so alba took the lead role. heard it on local crap morning show, trying to get traffic report before catching stern.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0790623/
Bill (2007) thats the flick.

chowd103 · Post by **chowd103** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 2:52 am

Bizzo- I had no idea what a stud you were.

Jessica Alba....holy shit. :wink:

That's one I never got to bang, but I did her brother's chemistry teacher.

-Zyclone

T1B

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