Memo to Ghetto Pedestrians

[PSUFAN]

If you walk into a busy street without looking both ways, you stand a great chance of being killed by someone who cannot stop their vehicle in time.

Sincerely, PSUFAN, one screeching halt away from manslaughter this morning

[Headhunter]

I'm guessing your undies are in their usual condition?

[Mr. Belvedere]

That's what you get for driving through the ghetto.

[PSUFAN]

Memo #2:

Ghetto grandmother, why are you walking in the street? Why aren't you walking on the fucking sidewalk, which is maintained at my expense to allow you to maintain a safe distance from careening vehicles?

[PSUFAN]

I'm guessing your undies are in their usual condition?

For all that you could offer, we get...this? Nice work there, hombre

[The Seer]

Hang up and drive!


HH's comment was "spot on"....

[YD]

shoulda just gassed it you pussy.

/s/

theoneboard

[PSUFAN]

I have to wonder if people don't seek injury because of the potential compensation windfall.

[YD]

depends on the speed of traffic probably.

10-15 mph they may get bruised , concussion, maybe a break

20-25 mph maybe just under 30 has to be the $$$ range. they can get pretty fukken raked up maybe in the hospital for a while, but should live to collect some divies. Unless they crack their mellon.

once you get up there over thirty, people and animals come apart pretty easy and its usually a K.

I have no special dinsdale encyclopedia of facts to back this up just experience running over animals of differnet sizes/types

[Mustang]

Interesting thread. When driving around...ahem....ghetto areas, I've experienced a person "walking" across the street, moving at less than a snail's pace. What's with this? When I cross traffic, I hustle, and get the hell out of there. Uh, I don't want to get hit. Are they thinking, "....here comes Whitey....he's gonna' wait on me...and if he don't, I'm gonna' sue....."?

[PSUFAN]

I don't know how many times I've seen someone approach the street, and just amble out into moving traffic. The dude that tried it this morning almost dined on my headlights. I don't understand the bravado thing in that situation. You never know if someone has skimped on a brakejob...especially in the ghetto. Why on Earth do you take the chance?

Vehicle vs. Flesh? Not my idea of a party.

[YD]

actually , in 2001 I was in Eugene to play at the Eugene Celebration. After the show I went back to the motel on 7th to stash my guitars, etc. I went outside to walk to Track Town Pizza just in time to see a drunken bum stagger on the side walk and try to correct by stepping into the street.

bad idea.

A ford Exploroer hit him dead center. Sounded like two cars crashing. then it drug him jammed under the front axel for a bout 50 ft while the explorer skidded to a halt on the damp street.

I'll never forget it started to rain right then, and there was this 50 ft long smear of diluted beautiful red, my brothers. And the poor vec was dead on impact.

I didn't hang out, cops were there immediately. I just walked to Track Town had some beers and pizza, and when we came out the rain had washed the blood away, and all the cops, etc were gone.

guess it happens all the time

[YD]

btw dude in the explorer was under the 35mh speed limit. doesn't take much

[Luther]

I remember my first night on the yob, and my coach chuckled when we got a call of a "55B". I asked him what the hell a 55B was and why he was laughing and he said, "You ever see a dead person, Luther?" I told him the only dead person I ever saw dead was on television. He giggled even more.

We get there and he tells me to find the guy in the apartment. The manager hadn't seen him since sometime the week before. Why me, the rookie? I spot the bathroom light on and the door 3/4 closed. Uh oh... Yep, found the old fart dead right there. (DRT) He assumed room temp while he's sitting on the shitter. Anyway, a couple of hours later my coach says, "You wanna go for dinner?" I said, "Sure." He says, "You'll do fine, kid."

I think if Timmay can chow down at the Old Track Town Pizza and quaff a few beers than he's fine in my book.

This plan doesn't particularly work well if the dead guy has been rotting on said shitter for two weeks or more. That sweet smell just is sucked into the fabric of your uniform like a heavy duty fempad. You can't smell it yourself unless you do one of those cocaine sniffle deals, to see if any death has lingered on the short hairs in your nostrils. If you don't self detect anything there, then meet up with one of your buddies and say, "Hey, can you smell old Fred on me...I found him after he composted for a few weeks?

Passing that test then it is safe to frequent a restaurant.

Rack Timmay and his fortitude.

Rip City

[Dinsdale]

I thought if someone got offed on the street in Eugene, you were supposed to stand around and sing Kumbaya?

[AJ]

Luth, are you the guy that pissed someone off by eating a sandwich at a suicide?

[Hobbes]

Track Town Pizza

Granted, I don't know exactly where you were, but if it was the one on Franklin, wtf are you doing going to Track Town when you could have strolled over and hit Pegasus whilst ogling sorority hotties?

[Bizzarofelice]

Black people aren't going anywhere in life, so why do they need to move fast to get there?

Black people walk so damned slow. I wish BET would have a show called "Imagine there's a government checking aiting for you" that taught them how to get off their asses and get movin'.

[YD]

I thought if someone got offed on the street in Eugene, you were supposed to stand around and sing Kumbaya?

Obviously, I'm not the Eugene local type.

Luth, I really never thought about it. I didn't even tell my band buddies about it over dinner. I was in a daze and kept putting away the Bond St. Browns (RIP), and I was a little grassy.I didn't say shit until we went outside and I was like "Damn they cleaned up the dead guy and all the gazers already?"

I've always (however heartless it sounds) thought of drunken,junkie, bums as more of a feral animal than human. And like , you said, it was fresh hamburger. Not like it smelled like anything but bum piss and MD 2020.

bwahahaaaa!

[YD]

btw hobbes is right. It was on franklin, and I was staying on Franklin, no 7th.

heh heh. like I said . I aint Eugene folk.

[Y2K]

Driving through the ghetto on any given morning is a breeze and a great way to make shortcuts during the morning commute. The fact is there's not to many people awake during morning hours and things don't get stirring till noon at the minimum.
After noon isn't all that bad other than around any corner liquor store, quite obviously night is out of the question.

[Bobby42]

Black people walk so damned slow.

Yeah, we like to walk across the street just when the light turns "Don't Walk" then we just slug along. Meanwhile, white folks move like they got to take a piss and don't get there in time.

PSUFAN, been there. The wing mirror of a transit bus almost took me out as I stood at a street corner getting ready to cross. Damn driver never even slowed down.

[Dinsdale]

The fact is there's not to many people awake during morning hours and things don't get stirring till noon at the minimum.

Years ago, I was involved in a renovation job in what's basically the projects.

While your rule holds true most of the time, it's not universal -- there's one day out of every week when EVERYBODY is up and about early. Standing in a bathrobe or their underwear, right next to the mailbox.

What I always thought was priceless, was that 5 days out of the week the mail carrier was a sweet young-to-middle aged cutie, sweet but small lady. Yet on Check Day, she did a different route, and this absolute monstrosity of a huge guy carried the bag that day...priceless.


And don't even stand, not for a moment, in front of someone's mailbox on Check Day in the ghetto...you're taking your life in your hands pulling that shit.

Fuck, I could tell funny/sad stories all day long about fixing up the ghetto for those few months...including opening a fronty door and finding the old lady nobody had seen in a couple of weeks.

And wanna add excitement to your life? Get a hold of a master key, and start opening people's front doors in the government housing projects, just because they didn't answer their door at 9AM...that's pure, unadulterated adrenaline, right there.

[Dinsdale]

'Round these parts, we have another word for a black guy in the crosswalk when the light turns green --


we call that a "freebie."

[Y2K]

Props on your "check day" description Dins, How can anyone fortunate enough to do Project Remodels forget the sights they witness during during that special day. The Big fucking Postal Guy driving the remodeled Brinks Truck on delivery day. I was never lucky enough to get to go inside as my experience usually consisted of a mass of expletives being shout my way as I had the machinery fired up at 8 AM because 7 AM was not a suggested "start time" for contractors as per the managements request. About all you can say is that one day in (insert name of city in the USA) on MLK Blvd someone could observe things that make Iraq seem pretty docile.

Employee: "Hey Jack, I found some Rock Cocaine stashed here in this small broken section" (Block Fence)

J: "Leave it alone!, Move the truck down here and let it be, it'll dissappear soon enough then we'll fix it, we do have plenty of work here and then the extra job of the do overs before we get outta here."

E: "We should call the cops Jack"

J: What the fuck are you saying, if you're on some Deathwish at least let me double my Life Insurance and I'll buy you a policy with me as "payee."

E: Come On Jack, that'll never happen!

J: You're fired! Stupid is dangerous, Look around dumbfuck.......

[Dinsdale]

Y2K knows of what he speaks.


Although while most areas around MLK in this city are a little rough around the edges, this housing project was a throwback to the days of building the Liberty Ships, and the cross street is Woolsey. Never bring up the street name Woolsey to a whiteboy in Portland.



"We should call the cops." Yeah, right. I only saw the cops a couple of times in that whole period, and when they came, they came with at least 10 cars, guns drawn, or they didn't show up at all. Of course one of the times they did, it just happened to be to a dwelling I was outside of at the time...good times. When the popo show up in the ghetto, you never know when the snipers are going to come out to play. A dozen or more cops show up at the unit I'm standing next to, and it's time to motherfucking GO...now...RIGHT now.

One day, we were a little behind in the work, so we decided to show up on a saturday morning. I was waiting to meet someone else, and I needed to take a leak, so I walked across the lawn to where a porta-potty was. After walking over soemwhere around 10,000 one-inch-by-one inch ziplock baggies, I wondered if opening the portapotty door was in my better interest. I whipped it out, and pissed right on the lawn, instead. And what a great day THAT was. When the noontime period of activity started, so did the constant gunfire. Gee, white dude in the ghetto(not that there wasn't plenty of PWT's living there, too), and on the first nice day of spring, everyone was outside sighting in the new AK47 they got over the winter...wonder what they were going to take test shots at?

So, we moved along to the other end of the neighborhood...next to the basketball courts. Some sort of argument erupted, and next thing I know, I'm looking across the street at a bunch of tards with their guns out. Now, I'm not exactly sure how you make your best moves to the hoop with a gat in your waistband, but these guys had it mastered. I guess reprezentin your cred is important, too. Called it a day after that, and never showed my face there on a saturday again.

But you can't work in the ghetto without coming away with a lifetime's worth of stories. I could have got laid by a ghetto skank every freaking day there, and I'm pleased to say I never took the opportunity, not once. But them welfare skanks saw that I actualkly had a job, and I became the Swinging Stud of the Ghetto.

[YD]

we're spiraling again...


anyone here actually HIT any pedestrians?

[Luther]

Luth, are you the guy that pissed someone off by eating a sandwich at a suicide?

Yeah, I was eating a balogna sammy when I pulled up. I think taking that last bite after I put it in park is what pissed the old lady off.

Rip City

[YD]

^^RACK^^

I woulda finished my chips and yoohoo on the way to the door.

[Y2K]

we're spiraling again...


anyone here actually HIT any pedestrians?

The jury's still out on that one...
One night a couple years ago while driving a big UHaul truck full steam down a pitch black I-40 East of Flagstaff something BIG hit the cabover above my head hard enough to damn near make me piss my pants. Maybe I clipped some drunk Indian or a big bat or bird or something. I have no idea how an Indian dude could get that type of elevation but I hear Peyote is some wicked shit. I pulled over as did AP and we never saw what the hell it was but by the time I could get my composure back and stop the behemouth I was quite well "down the road". Is a drunken Indian out in the desert considered a pedestrian? It is his ghetto domain and all, if so I may be looking at some seriously bad Karma.

[Dinsdale]

anyone here actually HIT any pedestrians?

Funny you mention that...

So, I'm 18 years old, and wasted off my ass, as per usual. I decided to stop by my buddy's house, which was right up the street. His roommates said "they just went down to Willamette Park to party."

Since drinking while driving meant nothing to me when I was 18, I decided I'd go meet them at the park(we used to tear that place up as teens...good times). By the time I got there, they must have found chicks and left already. Bummer. Back over the hill it was for me. But for some reason, my memory tells me there was construction on the freeway ramp, I couldn't take the highway home, so I took the detour, which took me downtown. That was alright, since there was a place down there that was something of a frequent haunt for me and mine, and I figured I'd look for some buddies there, which was also a no-go(this was a rainy weeknight). So, I decide to head home, and at that point, it was just as easy to head up Burnside over the hill as anything else. So, I go up Second(you know the place, timmay, Luth, et al) to Burnside with the idea of taking a left to go uptown and over the hill ....I'm sure with the idea of taking a run through The Park on the way...an 18 year old gots to get his party on, you know). Right there where Second hit Burnside(which is the street Monty Burns of the Simpsons is named after...but that's a different thread), is where the big Salvation Army shelter(along with a bunch of others) is, and it makes that funny little curve where you hit BSide, and it's always dark right there. Well, as I approach the intersection, in front of the Shanghai Tunnel, some bum jumps out in front of my hotrod, does this crazy spread-eagle across my hood, and starts yelling at thwe top of his lungs "Did you see that? My god, that kid just tried to kill me! I'm going to sue."

This actually garnered quite a bit of attention from the bystanders on the sidewalk. Being VERY drunk, very young, and now in a panic, I was more than a little concerned. A snap decision needed to be made. And I made it.

I floored the bitch, right through the red light, onto Burnside...sending up smoke from the tires for about a block(big blocks will do that). The bum was still flopping around like a dying fish in my mirror as a sped away. I kept that bitch floored the whole way up the hill, and only slowed down a little bit once I cleared downtown and started heading up the hill. At this point, my drunk ass is thinking "whew...thank good ness I'm in the clear. I didn't do anything, and that could have been a problem."

And then, just before I got to the top of the hill(and the city limits), all of a sudden I see these red and blue flashing lights in my mirror...whoops.

As the Portland cop walked up to my car, a lot of things went through my head. Most of all, I was on the verge of a total meltdown...everything inside of me was about to burst, and as the officer approached, I was going to break down into tears, and plead "I;m sorry! I didn't mean to hit that guy, but he did that on purpose, and was trying to get me in trouble...I didn't do anything wrong! Please forgive me!!!!"

I almost said that, but I didn't. Instead, I opted for "what seems to be the problem, officer?" (BTW-the cop was a late-20's hottie, I came to discover).


"Going a little fast up the hill, weren't you?"

Thinks to self: Wait...she either didn't see me hit the bum, or she's playing a Vulcan Mind Trick. Most cops arenb't smart enough to win the mind-control battle with the Dinsinator, so I'll go along with it here.

"I guess I was probably going 5MPH over, or so"

"5 over? I was going over 55 up the hill to catch you."

"Oh shit...you know what, officer? I just put these new tires on the back of the car, and I'll bet it makes my speedo read low. Damn, I hadn't even thought about that."

"Well, you should get that checked out tomorrow. Have a good night."



So, I guess what I'm trying to say is...


Sorry about killing your dad, Raiderfan.

[YD]

I don't have a point system for people, but I figue a fat ass dumbfuck should register as much as a large cow elk.

thats 150 big ones R-Jack!

congrats

[smackaholic]

a buddy of mine has a bidness installing playscapes. the real expensive aluminum/plastic/steel type. most of his installs are suburban school playgrounds. but, he occasionally gets some in a more "urban" setting. one of his biggest hassles is when little fuggin' cretins hang around and wanna climb on the fukkin' thing before it's cemented in. You always end up having to shoo away some 9 year old punk. No big deal....unless you are doing the playscape on the playground in lovely bridgeport, ct. I'd say it was in the bad section of bridgeport, but, that would imply that there was a good section. I'm pretty certain that the 'port hasn't had anything resembling a good section since the 50s, maybe earlier. anyway, this young african american lad no more than 10 years old walks up and hops on the 'scape. "hey kid, get off. it ain't done yet!" says bill. this little fukker turns around, looks right through bill and pulls back his jacket to display his heat. bill just kinda smiled and went back to work. the next day he and a few of the guys in his crew were packing as well. I don't think he's done another ghetto install since.

[socal]

Pulling out of a narrow driveway sandwiched between a pair of two-storied apartment buildings, I'm slowed to a literal crawl. The street I'm merging with is four lanes across with the speed limit of 30. Cars are parked tightly against the curb. As I reach the sidewalk I glance left/right/left again. All clear. Take the foot off the brake to idle down the ramp when suddenly wifey in the passenger seat yells. I slam the brake just in time to see a bicyclist wobbling in front of me, trying to keep his balance, then...thud he faceplants into the pavement. The fool was riding against traffic on a sidewalk when he rode in front of me. I managed to stop but not before nudging him over like Humpty Dumpty. Dude was white, late 50's, and bleeding like a mofo out of his nose. I gave him the t-shirt off my back to help stop the bleeding. Paramedics rolled and took him to hospital. Luckily, dude across the street who sold real estate saw the whole thing. My car insurance paid his bills in the ER, which went over $1100 in 1990. Welcome to the fucking ghetto.

[Cueball]

anyone here actually HIT any pedestrians?

Does a lil' beaner on a bike count? Driving down a side street coming on an intersection where the 2 way stop signs were for the cross street, I have this one shithead pedaling full speed in across blowing off the stop sign then realizes that he was almost jacked up by a car, he turns the 2nd lil' fucker. Pablo plows into my right side mirror. Needless to say I almost shit, having a $500 deductable and all. Lucky for him it was one of those beak away deals and I got off with out a scratch. Oh yeah, he did too.

[PSUFAN]

The wing mirror of a transit bus almost took me out as I stood at a street corner getting ready to cross. Damn driver never even slowed down.

A friend of mine was hit by a bus in a crosswalk. It was a low speed collision, so he basically came away without a scratch.

Unfortunately, this was a precursor event. A few months later, he was riding his bike (with a helmet and flashing lights) on a semi-rural road, on his way to work. A drunken moron in a huge pickup, swerving like crazy, came along and smashed into him head first at 45mph. My friend died on the lifeflight to Hershey Medical Center.

Despite a wild youth, he had matured to the point where he was adhering to the rules of the road. That's one of the reasons I get a little upset seeing folks casually ignore those rules and endanger themselves and others. The jackass who walked out in front of me in the middle of the street (crosswalk? forget it) as if it were his right to do so lives on, undoubtedly destined for greatness - at least until one of his brethren, with similar categorical disregard for the life of another putative human being, happens to be the driver charged with stopping on a dime in front of his little jaunt.

[Dinsdale]

My friend died on the lifeflight to Hershey Medical Center.

Well, doesn't that just take the funnay right the hell out of this thread.


But I'm shocked how many of you have struck pedestrains/cyclists. I mean sure, it was expected from me, but the rest of you....simply deplorable.

[Systematic Jackass]

I've been to several vehicle/pedestrian accidents. The worst was a couple months ago when a 9 year old got run over by his school bus.

Little kid had initially missed the bus and as it was pulling off, he ran after it and tried to open the door and fell under the wheel. Bus driver never even knew he was there under she felt the bump. Gruesome sight.

[Dinsdale]

Gruesome sight.

Not really.

Sin,
Darwin

[Systematic Jackass]

I suppose y'all are right. Fuck him.


He was colored anyhow