It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 7:52 pm

Great, the reinqueers are back.

Dancer · Post by **Dancer** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 7:53 pm

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 7:54 pm

Dancer wrote:You say that like it's a bad thing.

It is for him.

Doug near DC · Post by **Doug near DC** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 7:54 pm

Plato wrote:
Doug near DC wrote:
Plato wrote:Looks like someone wants to suck our loins.

Doug, can you say reindeer bukkake?
Is that part of reindeer games?
Just open up wide and you'll find out. Do you know who your dad is, was he from CNY by any chance?

How would you like some 30 odd 6 suprise?

Donder · Post by **Donder** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 7:59 pm

Doug near DC wrote:30 odd 6

No wonder nobody will hire you.

Doug near DC · Post by **Doug near DC** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:01 pm

Donder wrote:
Doug near DC wrote:30 odd 6
No wonder nobody will hire you.

Shouldn't you be practicing for your once a year gig?

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:03 pm

Donder wrote:
Doug near DC wrote:30 odd 6
No wonder nobody will hire you.

Nice to know I'm not alone

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:03 pm

Doug near DC wrote:
Donder wrote:
Doug near DC wrote:30 odd 6
No wonder nobody will hire you.
Shouldn't you be practicing for your once a year gig?

At least we have a job. Off yourself, it's really the best you can offer.

Donder · Post by **Donder** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:04 pm

Doug near DC wrote:
Donder wrote:
Doug near DC wrote:30 odd 6
No wonder nobody will hire you.
Shouldn't you be practicing for your once a year gig?

The same could be said for you. Norman Broughcass has more of a future.

Doug near DC · Post by **Doug near DC** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:05 pm

Donder wrote:
Doug near DC wrote:
Donder wrote: No wonder nobody will hire you.
Shouldn't you be practicing for your once a year gig?
The same could be said for you. Norman Broughcass has more of a future.

Your future is on my dinner plate.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:07 pm

^ What is this foolishness? Really, now.

Dancer · Post by **Dancer** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:07 pm

Cuda, Santa let us take a look at the naughty and nice list. I hope a job wasn't on your Christmas list this year.

Doug near DC · Post by **Doug near DC** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:10 pm

PSUFAN wrote:

^ What is this foolishness? Really, now.

He is the Lord Of The Rings, but that's not important right now.

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:14 pm

Doug near DC wrote:
PSUFAN wrote:

^ What is this foolishness? Really, now.
He is the Lord Of The Rings, but that's not important right now.

delusional

–noun 1. an act or instance of deluding.
2. the state of being deluded.
3. a false belief or opinion: delusions of grandeur.
4. Psychiatry. a fixed false belief that is resistant to reason or confrontation with actual fact: a paranoid delusion.
5. Doug near DC and his fixation of a washed up, has been coach

Cupid · Post by **Cupid** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:20 pm

Dear Santa,

My husband doesn't really believe in you, so I thought I'd take the liberty of writing you on his behalf. Christmas is going to be a little rough for us this year seeing as how my husband got fired from the bank for testing positive for marijuana and hasn't been able to find work since. But I suppose the really good news is that he's able to spend more time at home...high...typing on his fucking computer while I go to work and lie to the people at my church about why he isn't working anymore. Anyway, I'm hoping that over the holidays he sees that the real reason for the season is about caring. Like caring about your family. Your wife. And how to make their...her...life better. So, in anticipation of his epiphany I'd like to ask you to bring hime a few things for Christmas. He's kind of fat (Unemployed, drug user, broke, and fat?! You're probably wondering how I got so lucky. Hahaha! Anyway...) so we're going to need a stonger shower rod. Some rope. I'm not sure how much he'll need, so just however much you think it'll take. Also a box of razor blades, a bottle of sleeping pills, and anything else you think might help. Keep your fingers crossed for me! WAR teh Christmas Spirit!

Sincerely,

Mrs. Doug

Comet · Post by **Comet** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:22 pm

Doug near DC wrote:Your future is on my dinner plate.

I don't think that's a future, dude. I think that's a pog. With some of Fatsak's intestines on top. Eat it all up like a good little tard, and I'll coat your aching tonsils with some fresh egg nog for dessert.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:30 pm

Dancer wrote:Cuda, Santa let us take a look at the naughty and nice list. I hope a job wasn't on your Christmas list this year.

My Plan-B was going to be winning the Lotto. What would it take for you to put in a good word for me?

Dasher · Post by **Dasher** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:34 pm

Plato wrote:
Cupid wrote:Sorry I'm late, fellas. Leg cramp.
Thank god and GOD it wasn't your back this time.

I wrote my name there once.

Cupid · Post by **Cupid** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:04 pm

You know how I know you're gay?

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:09 pm

Cupid wrote:You know how I know you're gay?

His dick tastes like shit?

Plato · Post by **Plato** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:23 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
Cupid wrote:You know how I know you're gay?
His dick tastes like shit?

It may taste like shit to you, but Doug seems to love it.

Prancer · Post by **Prancer** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:49 pm

That's how we roll in the DC!

Donder · Post by **Donder** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:51 pm

See that horrible attack?
Know what we call that?
Tuesday.

This shit happens all the time. We don't front. If you are in the way, we will beat you like DMike beats his liver.

The Seer · Post by **The Seer** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:52 pm

You reindeers are really cute....and would be even cuter without all that psufan dna oozing from yourselves....

Donder · Post by **Donder** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:55 pm

The Seer wrote:You reindeers are really cute

and this troll is really tired. For your Christmas we're bringing you a noose and extra rope. For our Christmas we're including instructions.

Dasher · Post by **Dasher** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 10:02 pm

I could do without that DNA shit though. It's almost like Super Glue sometimes. It even flakes into my berries.

Mississippi Neck · Post by **Mississippi Neck** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 10:06 pm

Wolfman wrote:aren't you reindeer trolls supposed to
be on another board ??

just axin'

I would guess that if they can go around the world in one night, they can clog many boards at one time.

Blitzen · Post by **Blitzen** » Fri Dec 01, 2006 10:10 pm

Plato wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
Cupid wrote:You know how I know you're gay?
His dick tastes like shit?
It may taste like shit to you, but Doug seems to love it.

I Like It, I Love It
Tim (Doug) McGraw

Spent forty-eight dollars last night at the Angus Steer,
I spent my whole paycheck to fill Goober with beer.
He’s anatomically correct and shaped just like a pear,
The two of us ain’t played a straight hand all year.

I’m gonna get AIDS, if I don’t quit pickin’ this scab,
My long dead buddies say I shouldn’t fuck in a cab.

Chorus:
But I like it, I love it, I want some more of it,
My rod’s so hard, I can’t rise above it.
Dont know what it is bout Mctuber’s soft lovin,
But I like it, I love it, I want some more of it.

My mama and daddy taught me heterosexuality,
But it didn’t get a rise from my 5” Mr Peeee.
I just never liked all that femininity

I got spinach on my dick and corn in my pee
While Goober’s on his stomach, drippin’ on the sheet
Nicest little ass I’d ever wanna see

Cuz I like it, I love it, I want some more of it,
My rod’s so hard, I can’t rise above it.
Dont know what it is bout Mctuber’s soft muffin,
But I like it, I love it, I want some more of it.

Yukon Cornelius · Post by **Yukon Cornelius** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 12:12 am

Even among Misfits, you're misfits

Doug near DC · Post by **Doug near DC** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 11:27 am

Apparently you are some badly misinformed reindeer.

I have never failed a drug test of any type ever. I lost my job at the bank due to a large dollar error.

And, I have decided not to shoot you. The thought of gay reindeer on my dinner plate makes me want to puke.

420 · Post by **420** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 11:48 am

Doug near DC wrote:Apparently you are some badly misinformed reindeer.

I have never failed a drug test of any type ever.

That's why we love you. By the way, can you talk to that guy and get back to me about when it will get here?

Doug near DC wrote:I lost my job at the bank due to a large dollar error.

hmmmm.

420 · Post by **420** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 12:11 pm

Dougless, since you're still browsing here,

Users browsing this forum: Doug near DC

Could you give me a call and let me know when it will get here?

P.S. Have you given your wife the option to bang guys that actually have a job? I mean, how much do you really love her?

Doug near DC · Post by **Doug near DC** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 1:12 pm

420 wrote:Dougless, since you're still browsing here,

Users browsing this forum: Doug near DC

Could you give me a call and let me know when it will get here?

P.S. Have you given your wife the option to bang guys that actually have a job? I mean, how much do you really love her?

I don't know what "it" is.

And I'd appreciate it if you limited your smack to me. My marriage is rock solid, and my wife has nothing to do with any of this.

Smack totally repelled.

I'd still like to take some pot shots at reindeer for target practice.

Rudolph · Post by **Rudolph** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 1:15 pm

Oh, so Doug didn't lose his job due to being a drug freak, he lost it due to being an incompetent dumbass. bwahahahaha

You know, if it was me I might stick with the drug story instead. Actually less embarassing than being a flailing dumbass.

Btw, pog guy, you're wife can take it pretty deep.

Thanks.

420 · Post by **420** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 1:25 pm

Rudolph wrote:Oh, so Doug didn't lose his job due to being a drug freak, he lost it due to being an incompetent dumbass. bwahahahaha

You know, if it was me I might stick with the drug story instead. Actually less embarassing than being a flailing dumbass.

Btw, pog guy, you're wife can take it pretty deep.

Thanks.

I'm gonna have to give big up's to Rudolph for giving Dougless's bitch, something he couldn't.

Can someone remind me why Dougless doesn't kill himself?

Doug near DC · Post by **Doug near DC** » Sat Dec 02, 2006 1:31 pm

Rudolph wrote:Oh, so Doug didn't lose his job due to being a drug freak, he lost it due to being an incompetent dumbass. bwahahahaha

You know, if it was me I might stick with the drug story instead. Actually less embarassing than being a flailing dumbass.

Btw, pog guy, you're wife can take it pretty deep.

Thanks.

It's gonna be tough to pull that fat guy around on that glorified flexable flyer with a dozen ventilation holes in your neck.

Blitzen · Post by **Blitzen** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:34 am

Doug near DC wrote:
I don't know what "it" is.

And I'd appreciate it if you limited your smack to me. My marriage is rock solid, and my wife has nothing to do with any of this.

Smack totally repelled.

You repelled what with what? Weakly stating that you don't understand an object pronoun and then gentlemanly asking that a poster not throw smack at your wife is considered smack repellant? I think not, Mr. Mathematician. Let us illustrate this using other areas of life. For example:

Britney Spears repelled the poparazzi this week by inadvertently showing her snatch monster. She is being beaten senselessin the media like Doug's wife on superbowl sunday but in the context of Doug's mind Britney totally repelled them. How did she repel them? She asked nicely that they remove all the photos from print and digital media. Embarrasing moment totally repelled.

EXTRA EXTRA! Here she rakes in megabode by gleeking on the camera.

Guy Fawkes repelled homosexuality this evening by farting loudly. He and his lover were passionately engaged when Guy felt stomach rumblings that could only mean a large quantity of gas was migrating toward his stretched sphincter. The queer parter known only as Jimmy Meds was abusing Guy's love canal like Doug's wife on poker night. He was giving Guy a reach-around while wearing a rubber glove covered in KY Warming Liquid when the aeration occured. After climaxing together the two took a long shower. Emerging from the steaming bathroom Mr. Fawkes stated emphatically that he, "... farted all over that godless queer and totally repelled his homosexual advances. I'm no goddam faggot."

Art Shell's Oakland Raiders have had a difficult season. In their upcoming game against Houston, Mr. Shell is using a new defensive strategy. If employed properly it promises to comletely shut down the Houston offensive attack. During a press conference Thursday Art unveiled his masterminded plan. "We intend to totally repel any and all offensive attempts. Houston will go three and out every time they get the ball." Implementing the plan is tricky, however, and relies on many facets. Some of these facets lie outside the Raider locker room and others are not a part of the Oakland organization at all. When questioned about his tactic of bringing outside influence to the defensive side of the ball, Art was subdued and confident. "I had a really good meeting with Houston head coach, Gary Kubiak. I explained our team's situation and politely asked that his offense not post any positive yards on Sunday. In fact, it would be ideal if they would snap the ball and spike it to stop the clock three times and then punt us the ball. Gary is a gentleman and I think I've totally repelled their entire offense." Art went on to say that he forsees this strategy potentially being employed in the future. "You really can't deny the power of a polite request and if the time comes that we need to pull out our big guns and really take down a powerhouse team, then yes, I can see us using this technique in the future."
As a side note defensive consultant, Doug near DC, has been paid an undisclosed amount for his role in developing this strategy.

--------
Yes, Doug, you're one hell of a smacker to take down 420 with a lisping kindly worded response like that. Well done, champ. Hit the showers.

Doug near DC · Post by **Doug near DC** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 11:35 am

I did a little research on you and your "crew"

In real life, male reindeer don't have antlers at Christmas time! The whole point of antlers is to fight with other males during the mating season, which happens earlier on in the year. After the mating season the male reindeers are very low on energy reserves so their antlers fall off and don't grow again until the spring. So the only way that Rudolf the reindeer can have kept his antlers is if he is actually female. One other rather unpleasant possibility is that he was castrated - apparently most of the native Lapps traditionally used castrated reindeer to pull their loads.

So you reindeer are nutless? I guess that explains a bunch of stuff, dosen't it?

Yeti Beast · Post by **Yeti Beast** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 2:08 pm

RRRRRRRRWWWWAHAHHHHHHH, HERE BANGDEER ARE.

YETI RIP ANTLERS OFF AND TENDERIZE FURBAGS THEN YETI EAT BALLS.

RRRRRRROOOOAAARRRRRRR!

Donder · Post by **Donder** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 2:21 pm

Yeti Beast wrote:RRRRRRRRWWWWAHAHHHHHHH, HERE BANGDEER ARE.

YETI RIP ANTLERS OFF AND TENDERIZE FURBAGS THEN YETI EAT BALLS.

RRRRRRROOOOAAARRRRRRR!

HA! Look who woke up from their vodka coma! How's it going, homeless guy? Now you're posting on a message board? You've come along way from camping out by our dryer vent. You were matted with yeti dookie, regurgitated candy cane chunks and lint from Cupid's sweaters. Looked like the Ghost of Christmas Too Much Egg Nog Vomit.

BTW if you see a goofy looking needy she-male at the library also using the infanets, say hi to the Buzzer.