Nobody stands out

Luther · Post by **Luther** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 8:16 pm

Nobody really stands out as being the board bitch this year. Our mods and admins have done a pretty good job of nipping the posts off in the bud, so any potential efforts to claim the title may have been retarded by those efforts. Yes, I said, retarded.

I like m2 but he seems to draw a prodigious crowd of hayters whether it be here or over in the football forums. Typically late at night he'll throw up some threads but they get sent to TROTS faster than Mace's hand goes into his nightstand for the Levitra. Something happened to his nick and now he's branding the name, montinelevin.

jtr is always a contender for this title. I think Jess could move to a new ISP, lose half his body in weight, have his hair un-ShirleyTempled, take a few Un-JEW classes, and he might be able to pass as just a regular jagoff. Jess, it isn't the chronic bumping of some of your threads that gets to some of us, but it could be the rank 'em threads, or those small av sized pictures of clothed women that are the "not" of the "Hot or Not" threads in cyberspace.

KC>paste gets his votes, sure...but most of them come from the NFL forum people. Actually, I always read his stuff just to see the reactions of the others. IMO the best thread this last year was the paste job. I fuckin' was roaring with laughter...I can't remember but I also enjoyed RJ exchanging with KCScott, but that may have been in another thread. The wedding picture of RJ and KC actually hurt me inside my body. I may have popped some cartilage around a rib on that thread.

My guess is that the culmination of visiting tards from around the forum communities probably are the true winners of the board bitch award. Some posted on a dare, some posted because they thought they were they were insightful or maybe even funny. Bace would get bored and tease them, which basically made them stick around and then the threads got even more shittier than normal. But one thing we do know...Timmay knows where the tards hang around. He knows what they eat, he knows where they congregate and then he goads them into visiting. Next thing you know the tard is angry, and is calling everyone a fag. We all laugh and then the tard leaves. Then the next tard comes in and tries and finds out he's pissed off Dinsdale and then all kinds of shit hits the fan. Once Dinsdale breaks out the "oh, you're not really saying this or that" , "tears, Jerry, tears" , "I know what I am but what are you." Then, it is ovah. You can't put the Preparation H back in the tube. It is because of Timmay.

Timmay is different from say, a Drummer type. Timmay is the cousin Eddie to the tard world. Timmay will wear his white loafers, spell some words incorrectly, and pretty soon the tards are following him here. It isn't because the board has asked Timmay to "get us some tards, kid." Timmay ropes in these people and then goes back for more. He'll tell them it won't be pretty but he still gets them to come over. Amazing.

Ah, Timmay...recruiting tards is like fishing....they have limits for a reason.

Rip City

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 8:19 pm

Excellent post, Luther, but I’d just like to point out that we still have most of December left, and Dumbslinger has found his way back here.

YD · Post by YD » Tue Dec 05, 2006 8:29 pm

I try to play to the crowd, what can I say.

I see a huge bunch of tards on sale at a reasonable price, I grab em up and put em where I think they are needed.

sometimes I screw up and put the wrong tard in the wrong place, like the old cartoon where the stork delivers a gorilla to the mouse family and vice versa or whatever.

Who the hell am I kidding.

I may be able to spin an occasional yarn, but my real specialty is Tard Human Resources

lemme know when the stringer's full Luth

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 8:42 pm

Disagree.

While Doug in DC might be making a last-minute run, there's little he can do to top the body of work of one Gunslinger. This guy isn't just the 2006 Board Bitch, he's a freaking first-ballot Hall of Famer.

No one can tard it up with the consistancy that Gunslinger does. And that's a pretty damned bold statement on my part, considering some of the tards that have posted on these boards over the years.

Of course Buttspr*y will have an entire wing* of the HoF dedicated to him, when the fortunate day comes that he croaks and decists posting.

* -- sup KFC

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 9:04 pm

Chumslinger is a 1st-ballot HOF dumbass, no doubt.

If we're narrowing it down to this year alone, however, the phantorino made a strong showing. Dude actually seemed to believe he's somehow witty or thought-provoking, when I had yet to see one single thing ever typed that was remotely either by that tard. The really sad thing is, dude claimed to be directed here by Nish.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 9:12 pm

My nominees for 2006 Board Bitch --

http://www.trolltrain.com/phpbb/memberlist.php

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 9:42 pm

Dinsdale wrote:Disagree.

While Doug in DC might be making a last-minute run, there's little he can do to top the body of work of one Gunslinger. This guy isn't just the 2006 Board Bitch, he's a freaking first-ballot Hall of Famer.

No one can tard it up with the consistancy that Gunslinger does. And that's a pretty damned bold statement on my part, considering some of the tards that have posted on these boards over the years.

RACK!

Asking who's this year's board bitch is like asking Johnny Cash who the greatest country singer is and having him reply "You mean after George Jones?"

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Tue Dec 05, 2006 9:44 pm

phantorino doesn't deserve it. "Tard" status means you've actually achieved something memorable. It means people are actually taking the time and effort to read, or at least skim your material, and then form a response. Me? I stopped after about five posts. phantorino is so incredibly boring and predictable, that he doesn't even deserve the attention a true tard normally receives. Damn, that's pretty bad when you think about it. Dude sucks sooooo bad, he's not even "skilled" enough to be a tard. That level of worthlessness deserves its own award.

I'd give it to Gunslinger.

The Whistle Is Screaming · Tue Dec 05, 2006 9:49 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
I'd give it to Gunslinger.

Don't think of it as giving it to gunslinger, that diminshes the fact the he earned the award (or at least serious consideration for the crown).

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 10:02 pm

The Whistle Is Screaming wrote:crown

Ooooh....let's not forget this perennial contender.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Tue Dec 05, 2006 10:07 pm

Crown's moreso been coasting on his reputation as a tard. Or his "reputardation," if you will. He needs to step up to the plate with more consistency if he wants to earn the award.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 10:15 pm

RadioFan wrote:The really sad thing is, dude claimed to be directed here by Nish.

Did he now?

YD · Post by YD » Tue Dec 05, 2006 10:16 pm

nish fishes for tards too?

Tiny · Post by **Tiny** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 11:45 pm

That's pretty sad, when in the year of "cut and paste" Paul, that there are not just one, but several favorites ahead of him in the rankings.

I agree with MGO, when it comes to phantorino (however you spell it), I usually just kept scrolling when I'd see his posts.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 11:54 pm

And how has this --
thread!!!
gone this long with!!!
no mention of wolfman?
LOL!!!

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 12:07 am

The Whistle Is Screaming wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
I'd give it to Cumslinger.
Don't think of it as giving it to gunslinger, that diminshes the fact the he earned the award (or at least serious consideration for the crown).

And the fact that he comes in almost daily to prop up his tardness, and verify that he deserves the title.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 12:10 am

all worthy nominations, but none of them can carry LTRN2's jock. That's martyred's job.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 12:12 am

Obviously, mvscanute has to be the MVB of '06. Just for consistent clutch wrongness, if nothing else.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 12:54 am

Derron wrote:
The Whistle Is Screaming wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
I'd give it to Cumslinger.
Don't think of it as giving it to gunslinger, that diminshes the fact the he earned the award (or at least serious consideration for the crown).
And the fact that he comes in almost daily to prop up his tardness, and verify that he deserves the title.

When you put it that way, it sounds like he should be disqualified. This is an award that should be backed into. You earn it by trying not to earn it. Once you try for it, you should be out of the running.

That being said, he still gets my vote, for now.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:07 am

Despite his late arrival, gunslinger has quickly outpaced every other contender. His shit to post ratio is the highest I've ever seen.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:32 am

I likes me some BCO - that dude gets down.

Gunslinger · Post by **Gunslinger** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:36 am

Nishlord wrote:
RadioFan wrote:The really sad thing is, dude claimed to be directed here by Nish.
Did he now?

I'm as fucking baffled as you are. I used to try and understand where they came up with their shit, but I've lost hope a long fucking time ago.

Gunslinger · Post by **Gunslinger** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:37 am

BTW, I even nominate myself. Being board bitch on a board like this, means I'm not one of you.

Rudolph · Post by **Rudolph** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:42 am

Dumbslinger is a cocksucking bitch.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:20 am

Gunslinger wrote:BTW, I even nominate myself. Being board bitch on a board like this, means I'm not one of you.

Nope, you can't do that. Not even the mentally retarded can truly understand how fucking stupid they really are, because they are. Same applies here for you.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:39 am

I think Luther was wrong in his initial assessment when titling this thread. There is no clearer board bitch candidate than Dungslinger. To modify a phrase from Shaq, he's absolutely a lock for the most dominant board bitch (MDBB) ever. Not even close in my opinion.

Gunslinger · Post by **Gunslinger** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 7:34 am

Mister Bushice wrote:
Gunslinger wrote:BTW, I even nominate myself. Being board bitch on a board like this, means I'm not one of you.
Nope, you can't do that. Not even the mentally retarded can truly understand how fucking stupid they really are, because they are. Same applies here for you.

Because I insult you lame fucks? Was I ever trying for prom queen on this board? I'll search through all my posts and try and find one moment where I was cow toeing to any of you lameasses.

NOPE!!

Not a single fucking post where I tried to get any of you lameasses to like me.

Boardbitch, I'm it.

Buschice, I'm not trying, nor have ever tried to get any of you to like me. So, please fill me in on the insult from this board?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 7:36 am

Gunslinger wrote:
Because I insult you lame fucks? Was I ever trying for prom queen on this board? I'll search through all my posts and try and find one moment where I was cow toeing to any of you lameasses.

Boardbitch, I'm it.

Yes you certainly are. Wear it with pride.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 7:49 am

Gunslinger wrote:So, please fill me in on the insult from this board? Because I insult you lame fucks? I'm not trying, nor have ever tried to get any of you to like me.

It isn't about like, it isn't about insults, it's about how over the top fucking retarded you are.

Was I ever trying for prom queen on this board?

In terms of getting fucked after the dance every time, that answer would be "yes"

Gunslinger wrote: Boardbitch, I'm it.

NO FUCKING SHIT.

Gunslinger · Post by **Gunslinger** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:09 pm

Mister Bushice wrote:
Gunslinger wrote:So, please fill me in on the insult from this board? Because I insult you lame fucks? I'm not trying, nor have ever tried to get any of you to like me.
It isn't about like, it isn't about insults, it's about how over the top fucking retarded you are.

Was I ever trying for prom queen on this board?
In terms of getting fucked after the dance every time, that answer would be "yes"

Gunslinger wrote: Boardbitch, I'm it.
NO FUCKING SHIT.

No one gives a fuck about your board, except you and 4 other fatasses.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:24 pm

To the James Bond tune, "Goldfinger"

Dungslinger...
he's the 'tard, the 'tard with the fecal touch
A retards touch, such a shitslinger...
beckons you to enter his web of spin
but don't go in.

Flatulent words he will poop in your ear
But his crap can't disguise what you hear
A passed out drunk, knows when he's kissed ass
It's a board kiss of jizz from,

Cumslinger...
Poster beware, his words are ridiculous,
No news to us...

Drunkard words he will spew in your ear
but his shit can't disguise what is clear
He's a shit spraying fountain about to pass out
from his eighteenth straight twelve pack of beer.

Gunslinger
Posters beware of this heart of crap
His heart is shat. He loves only scat.
Only scat. He posts scat.
He posts only scat. Oops, he just shat.

Again.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:36 pm

Gunslinger wrote: Because I insult you lame fucks? Was I ever trying for prom queen on this board?

The Who's The Biggest Faggot?-Off doesn't happen until springtime.

You have the early lead, btw

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:37 pm

Gunslinger wrote: Was I ever trying for prom queen on this board?

No, but I voted for you, anyway.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:00 pm

Gunslinger wrote:Because I insult you lame fucks?

Let me know when you get started.

Gunslinger · Post by **Gunslinger** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 4:22 am

The end of this thread is like a state funded highway. It was over, the point was made. But the cops will always be called to that dipshit who didnt get the final notice to turn left and ended up in a fucking tree.

*standing ovation*

Gunslinger · Post by **Gunslinger** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 4:24 am

Jay in Phoenix wrote:To the James Bond tune, "Goldfinger"

Dungslinger...
he's the 'tard, the 'tard with the fecal touch
A retards touch, such a shitslinger...
beckons you to enter his web of spin
but don't go in.

Flatulent words he will poop in your ear
But his crap can't disguise what you hear
A passed out drunk, knows when he's kissed ass
It's a board kiss of jizz from,

Cumslinger...
Poster beware, his words are ridiculous,
No news to us...

Drunkard words he will spew in your ear
but his shit can't disguise what is clear
He's a shit spraying fountain about to pass out
from his eighteenth straight twelve pack of beer.

Gunslinger
Posters beware of this heart of crap
His heart is shat. He loves only scat.
Only scat. He posts scat.
He posts only scat. Oops, he just shat.

Again.

Oh my god.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Dec 07, 2006 4:31 am

Gunslinger,

Honest question here. No smack intended. Please, read on...

Did your pure hatred for this board only occur after the infamous trollstop? Or were you like this from the very beginning? Seems like at one point you were a regular poster on these boards, racking people and shit, until after that fateful day when everybody found out what an incredibly pathetic loser you were in real life.

Please, refresh my memory.

NoCal Snowgirl · Post by **NoCal Snowgirl** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 4:47 am

Gunslinger is what you all have created. You all obviously thrive off of him being here. Otherwise you would all not even respond to him.

The posters on this board and all the boards before it are masters of munipulation, twisting and shaping everything and everyone into what they think they are or what they want them to be. It's an internet message boards folks. I can assure you that Gunslinger and most of this board doesn't take anything to heart. It's entertainment. Nothing more.

Just my 2 cents.

This board is also very predictable. I knew the second I posted I would get a response like "shut up whore", only I got it from a holiday reindeer! It's my lucky day! lol

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Dec 07, 2006 4:56 am

NoCal Snowgirl wrote:It's entertainment. Nothing more.

Might want to tell that to your Knight in Shining FUBU.

NoCal Snowgirl · Post by **NoCal Snowgirl** » Thu Dec 07, 2006 4:58 am

what on god's green earth is a kinight in shining fubu?? lol