Thanks, m2. It's been a tough few months and a really tough week. My dad's probably shaking his head somewhere. We buried with him his tape of the 2000 Orange Bowl (which he absolutely wore out). Maybe he popped it in tonight to remember better times...
Stoops, I don't mean to be selfish... but how do you carry on when you lose your dad?
My dad is my best friend... and I have a personal phone line that I won't answer for a week or so, because it freaks me out that something bad may have happened.
Fuck it, I'm drunk and I'm looking for knowledge on how to deal with what you are going through.
Man, if talking about what you're going through is therapeutic, it would be a benefit to some of us here.
I don't mind talking about it. There's not much you can do, you just have to let the grieving process work. I have rough patches where I think I'm going to snap. My 10 month old son and my wife are my sources of strength.
Losing parents is something almost everyone has to endure. In my case, its been tough because of the way he suffered in the end. I wouldn't wish pancreatic cancer on my worst enemy. Plus, my mother lost her mother, father, and husband in the span of 18 months. To see her in so much pain is almost as bad as dad being gone.
One piece of advice...don't listen to John Mayer's "Stop This Train" after you lose a parent. Water works will not be far behind. Of course, you really shouldn't listen to that guy under any circumstance, though his music is kind of a guilty pleasure for me.
War Stoops wrote:I don't mind talking about it. There's not much you can do, you just have to let the grieving process work. I have rough patches where I think I'm going to snap. My 10 month old son and my wife are my sources of strength.
Losing parents is something almost everyone has to endure. In my case, its been tough because of the way he suffered in the end. I wouldn't wish pancreatic cancer on my worst enemy. Plus, my mother lost her mother, father, and husband in the span of 18 months. To see her in so much pain is almost as bad as dad being gone.
One piece of advice...don't listen to John Mayer's "Stop This Train" after you lose a parent. Water works will not be far behind. Of course, you really shouldn't listen to that guy under any circumstance, though his music is kind of a guilty pleasure for me.
When I got the call from my dad my 3 year old was right next to me and I broke down. He looked at my wife and said, "Why is daddy so sad?" How do you explain cancer to a 3 year old? I did get a chance to go see him. I flew up before all the storms hit Denver and we had a really nice visit. I will always remember that even after he is gone.
My wife is due in the next week with our 2nd child and I hope my dad can hold on long enough to meet his grand daughter. The cancer has not hit the epidural cancal so we are holding on.
War Stoops wrote:I don't mind talking about it. There's not much you can do, you just have to let the grieving process work. I have rough patches where I think I'm going to snap. My 10 month old son and my wife are my sources of strength.
Losing parents is something almost everyone has to endure. In my case, its been tough because of the way he suffered in the end. I wouldn't wish pancreatic cancer on my worst enemy. Plus, my mother lost her mother, father, and husband in the span of 18 months. To see her in so much pain is almost as bad as dad being gone.
One piece of advice...don't listen to John Mayer's "Stop This Train" after you lose a parent. Water works will not be far behind. Of course, you really shouldn't listen to that guy under any circumstance, though his music is kind of a guilty pleasure for me.
When I got the call from my dad my 3 year old was right next to me and I broke down. He looked at my wife and said, "Why is daddy so sad?" How do you explain cancer to a 3 year old?
I can relate. My son was 3 when my dad passed from ALS. Before that, he used to love to go over to grandpa's and ride with him on his wheelchair. He knew enough to know that most people didn't use wheelchairs, but had no idea how sick he was.
When my dad died, he took the news very badly and for a time said he wanted to die himself. So I had to be strong for him, which in turn affected me going through the grieving process (I did an awful lot of crying when I was alone, but made sure I never cried in front of him). He's now 8 and only starting to get over it, and I suspect that's been part of what he's gone through since. On the bright side, he reacted much better this summer when he lost his great-grandmother. He bought a helium balloon, wrote a note to her, attached the note to the balloon and released it. That gives me a little hope for him.
War Wagon wrote:The first time I click on one of your youtube links will be the first time.
420 wrote:I don't mean to be selfish... but how do you carry on when you lose your dad?
m2-- It sucks to say this, but that is something you don't find out until it actually happens. And no matter how long you "prepare" for it, you'll never be fully prepared when the day comes.
When I was in high school, my dad was terminally ill with brain cancer. We all knew he was going to die, so in a sense, that made the grieving process easier because we could grieve with him. We had time with him before the day came. But like I said, it's never enough time. Even since he's been gone, there are still those days where I can't fathom that he's actually gone and I wish like hell that I could have one more day with him. And he's been gone for ten years.
“My dentist, that’s another beauty, my dentist, you kiddin’ me. It cost me five thousand dollars to have all new teeth put in. Now he tells me I need braces!” —Rodney Dangerfield