I ate dog last night

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 3:24 pm

I'm guessing this could be an A+ SaladTosser thread one day too.
Hmmmmmm .......

At any rate, yeah, I chowed down on a little side of hound last evening.

My wife, daughter, and I were taken out to eat by a portly little friend of ours, Mr Lim.
Lim took us to a supposed 'famous' dog house resaurant here ....... one that was a particular fav of past S. Korean President Park Chung Hee, or something.
Or not .... maybe I lose a bit in translation.

Clean and pleasant enough, the restaurant was, but it DID have a funky odor that I hadn't previously smelled here.
Sort of like if you dumped a can of chucky soup in jtr's laundry basket and let it sit in the sun 6-or-8 hours.

Was disappointed from the git-go.
Thought it was like going to be like going to a high class lobster joint.
You know, where you stride up to the tanks, point at one and say, "I'll take THAT one. He amuses me."
Imagined there would be a row of cages out front, and you could walk by and select the poodle, the collie, the terrier, or maybe the one with the least amout of shit in his cage.
Nope.

There were only 7 items on the menu.
One was what looked like dog ribs.
Two through six were different varieties of dog soup.
Seven was chicken soup.

I chickened out and selected number seven.

Wanting to get along with a little doggie though, I asked my wife to scoop some of her dog soup up into a side dish where I could sample it.
I ate some.
Didn't like it.
It didn't have anything to do with my knowing it was dog.
No, it really just didn't appeal to me at all.
Kind of 'soft' and a bit 'stringy' .... I dunno, hard to describe.
I honestly felt like spitting it out into my napkin, and would have if Mr Lim hadn't been there.
It didn't exactly glide down the gullet, but yeah, I got it home safely.
RACK me.

Sure, my admission that I have eaten dog will probably haunt me for the rest of my posting career.

But no, no, nooooo, I don't live in fear of the haters.

Rack me!!!!

I got over.

peter dragon · Post by **peter dragon** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 3:36 pm

it is a hard taste to describe.
i ate it in Korea in 97.. welcome to the club. i think its you and me

The Assassin · Post by **The Assassin** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 4:33 pm

Was it a poodle or one of those mutt breeds?

Mr. Belvedere · Post by **Mr. Belvedere** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 4:48 pm

poptart wrote:I'm guessing this could be an A+ SaladTosser thread one day too.
Hmmmmmm .......

At any rate, yeah, I chowed down on a little side of hound last evening.

My wife, daughter, and I were taken out to eat by a portly little friend of ours, Mr Lim.
Lim took us to a supposed 'famous' dog house resaurant here ....... one that was a particular fav of past S. Korean President Park Chung Hee, or something.
Or not .... maybe I lose a bit in translation.

Clean and pleasant enough, the restaurant was, but it DID have a funky odor that I hadn't previously smelled here.
Sort of like if you dumped a can of chucky soup in jtr's laundry basket and let it sit in the sun 6-or-8 hours.

Was disappointed from the git-go.
Thought it was like going to be like going to a high class lobster joint.
You know, where you stride up to the tanks, point at one and say, "I'll take THAT one. He amuses me."
Imagined there would be a row of cages out front, and you could walk by and select the poodle, the collie, the terrier, or maybe the one with the least amout of shit in his cage.
Nope.

There were only 7 items on the menu.
One was what looked like dog ribs.
Two through six were different varieties of dog soup.
Seven was chicken soup.

I chickened out and selected number seven.

Wanting to get along with a little doggie though, I asked my wife to scoop some of her dog soup up into a side dish where I could sample it.
I ate some.
Didn't like it.
It didn't have anything to do with my knowing it was dog.
No, it really just didn't appeal to me at all.
Kind of 'soft' and a bit 'stringy' .... I dunno, hard to describe.
I honestly felt like spitting it out into my napkin, and would have if Mr Lim hadn't been there.
It didn't exactly glide down the gullet, but yeah, I got it home safely.
RACK me.

Sure, my admission that I have eaten dog will probably haunt me for the rest of my posting career.

But no, no, nooooo, I don't live in fear of the haters.

Rack me!!!!

I got over.

At least it's not as bad as the time when you admitted that you sucked a cock.

Bobby42 · Post by **Bobby42** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 4:51 pm

Next time you get into your car be sure to check your rear view mirror.

Grrrrrr...!!!

Mike Backer · Post by **Mike Backer** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 5:03 pm

Made the mistake of spending 4 bucks on the 3 tacos for a buck "taco special" from a street vendor as I was crossing the border wasted from Matamoros, Meheeco back to Brownsville, Tejas back in March of '96. Yep, that's 12 tacos. Finished 11 of 'em before I tapped out. (Before you mistake me for Kobiashi, they were tiny tacos. These were the taco's equivalent of a white castle burger to a regular cheese burger). Anywho, I drunkenly, yet politely, offered the twelfth taco to a border control guard.

"No way." dude said, and proceeded to laugh.
"Why not? They'rrrre taaaaasty." - Me
"Uh, no thanks. I don't like dog." - Him
"That's cool. *hiccup* I don't like poodles." - Me
"No, what i mean is that the meat you are eating, that isn't beef."

- Me

- him
"They don't taste bad." - Me
"That's because they drown it in sauce. You'll be payin' the price tomorrow."
"Shit." - Me
"Exactly." - Him

- Me

Then, he and two other gentlemen asked me to come into a private interrogation room and disrobe down to my undergarmets. Probably had something to do with me blowing a .025 while trying to get into the country wearing a sombrero, a poncho, and sunglasses at 2 a.m.

The series of shits I took 8 hours later could only be described as volcanic. Ass magma was sprayed all over the toilet bowl, floor, and stall. Everywhere. I think I even got some on the soap dispenser across the room. I was on the shitter for the better part of four hours because some mexican lady thought it would be hilarious to sell me 12 ex-lax marinated collie tacos. Bitch. (pun intended)

So, yeah, I've had dog. Or so I have been told.

Rich Fader · Post by **Rich Fader** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 5:10 pm

Condolences, 'tart. Now you can go to the cat restaurant and headline your next report "I ate pussy last night".

Mr. Belvedere · Post by **Mr. Belvedere** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 5:13 pm

Mike Backer wrote:Made the mistake of spending 4 bucks on the 3 tacos for a buck "taco special" from a street vendor as I was crossing the border wasted from Matamoros, Meheeco back to Brownsville, Tejas back in March of '96. Yep, that's 12 tacos. Finished 11 of 'em before I tapped out. (Before you mistake me for Kobiashi, they were tiny tacos. These were the taco's equivalent of a white castle burger to a regular cheese burger). Anywho, I drunkenly, yet politely, offered the twelfth taco to a border control guard.

"No way." dude said, and proceeded to laugh.
"Why not? They'rrrre taaaaasty." - Me
"Uh, no thanks. I don't like dog." - Him
"That's cool. *hiccup* I don't like poodles." - Me
"No, what i mean is that the meat you are eating, that isn't beef."
- Me
- him
"They don't taste bad." - Me
"That's because they drown it in sauce. You'll be payin' the price tomorrow."
"Shit." - Me
"Exactly." - Him
- Me

Then, he and two other gentlemen asked me to come into a private interrogation room and disrobe down to my undergarmets. Probably had something to do with me blowing a .025 while trying to get into the country wearing a sombrero, a poncho, and sunglasses at 2 a.m.

The series of shits I took 8 hours later could only be described as volcanic. Ass magma was sprayed all over the toilet bowl, floor, and stall. Everywhere. I think I even got some on the soap dispenser across the room. I was on the shitter for the better part of four hours because some mexican lady thought it would be hilarious to sell me 12 ex-lax marinated collie tacos. Bitch. (pun intended)

So, yeah, I've had dog. Or so I have been told.

I doubt it was dog, more likely rat.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 5:56 pm

poptart wrote:I honestly felt like spitting it out into my napkin, and would have if Mr Lim hadn't been there.
It didn't exactly glide down the gullet, but yeah, I got it home safely.

What was the matter with spitting it out on the fucking floor?

What... you're afraid of offending somebody who takes you to a place like that? You should have just offered him a good, solid ass-kicking instead. Better still, offer him a good solid ass kicking for bringing you there and not offering you a can of gasoline to burn the motherfucker down with.

the_ouskull · Post by **the_ouskull** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 6:27 pm

I figured you would have posted about eating kitty before you posted about eating dog.

I just lost a buck... to myself.
Sin,

Raydah James · Post by **Raydah James** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 7:32 pm

RACK 'Tart and Branny.

Im just fucking shocked that Pops and his family have made it this long without being run over into tomorrow lunch special.

Ken · Post by **Ken** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 10:27 pm

Rack the stories and unrack the belvedere fucktard who 1. actually thought his shit was funny, and 2. felt the need to quote an entire story to shit out his shit-for-takes.

You are not the funny one in the thread. Know your place.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 10:55 pm

Having spent 18 months in The Philippines, chances are better than even that I've eaten mutt, although I didn't do it knowingly, and I didn't inhale.

My next-door neighbors at the time (Americans) had a couple dogs (pets, not sustenance) - Spanky and Alfalfa were their names (the dogs', not the neighbors'). There was an old junked car parked on the dirt road in front of the house next door to them on the other side, in which a large family of locals lived. One night, my neighbor, Chris, came home and found Alfalfa under the car, poisoned and near death. After Alfalfa died that night, Chris buried him in the open field across the street where the neighborhood garbage was burned. Within a couple hours after Alfalfa had been buried, Chris had to chase away a local who was trying to exhume the dead pooch. All that really did was delay the inevitable. By morning, Alfalfa had been disinterred, and was prolly being prepared for the evening feast.

On another occasion, a member of a local goat herd met its demise after being hit by a car. A local passerby who witnessed the impact calmly walked over to the carcass, picked it up by its feet, held it up to us, smiled, and said, "Dinner!" I don't claim to know what it sounds like when doves cry, but I did hear mourning goats. Never heard anything like it before or since, but the surviving herd members were, indeed, crying.

Saw many other things while stationed there, but I'll save them for other threads.

Ken · Post by **Ken** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:08 am

Are you gonna start following me around? I mean, is that how it works for you? Get fucked up in another thread and try to pick up the pieces elsewhere?
IB away, sparky.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:09 am

Mace,

I feel guilty I didn't send Luther a gift card from Home Depot so he could by a Dremel tool, some wing nuts, and some machine screws, gauze, ball bearings, 3-1 oil... 30 weight, and some Prestone to fix his broken tard meter.

Ken · Post by **Ken** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:39 am

Yeah, you go, girl. Fuggin' rack you for carrying that flag.
Here, let me get you started:

I think that the weather in Pittsburgh sucks ass.

~nudge, nudge, hint, hint~
Oh, all right, I'll just blurt it out, I can't wait... Can you do one of those cool quote thingies and JUST pull the "I think" part out and then follow with, "That's a first"?! That was SO cool when you did that earlier.

Okay, that was just practice, really. Try this one:

Hey, mace... I had to go to the Home Depot today to purchase some glue solvent for the bathroom floor.

In case you're not quite sure where to go with this one, how 'bout something like this you posted earlier...

"go fuck up something else. Home Depot is open all day."

Just tweak it or something. Give it a new spin. I mean, it's golden already, but hey, this is mace we're talkin' 'bout.

Long story short, macey (get it? you called me 'kenney'!), I've seen what you bring. You think you're better than what you really are. Do you really think you laid some wood earlier? Fucking bwha. jack, wolfman, jtr... MACE. Insert any of the above user names.

Yeah, quaking over here.

socal · Post by **socal** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:54 am

Poptart failed to mention the Norelco he ran...through the dog's nether region for a number Eight: Dog Backer.

warren · Post by **warren** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 5:11 am

Mike Backer wrote:Made the mistake of spending 4 bucks on the 3 tacos for a buck "taco special" from a street vendor as I was crossing the border wasted from Matamoros, Meheeco back to Brownsville, Tejas back in March of '96. Yep, that's 12 tacos. Finished 11 of 'em before I tapped out. (Before you mistake me for Kobiashi, they were tiny tacos. These were the taco's equivalent of a white castle burger to a regular cheese burger). Anywho, I drunkenly, yet politely, offered the twelfth taco to a border control guard.

"No way." dude said, and proceeded to laugh.
"Why not? They'rrrre taaaaasty." - Me
"Uh, no thanks. I don't like dog." - Him
"That's cool. *hiccup* I don't like poodles." - Me
"No, what i mean is that the meat you are eating, that isn't beef."
- Me
- him
"They don't taste bad." - Me
"That's because they drown it in sauce. You'll be payin' the price tomorrow."
"Shit." - Me
"Exactly." - Him
- Me

Then, he and two other gentlemen asked me to come into a private interrogation room and disrobe down to my undergarmets. Probably had something to do with me blowing a .025 while trying to get into the country wearing a sombrero, a poncho, and sunglasses at 2 a.m.

The series of shits I took 8 hours later could only be described as volcanic. Ass magma was sprayed all over the toilet bowl, floor, and stall. Everywhere. I think I even got some on the soap dispenser across the room. I was on the shitter for the better part of four hours because some mexican lady thought it would be hilarious to sell me 12 ex-lax marinated collie tacos. Bitch. (pun intended)

So, yeah, I've had dog. Or so I have been told.

If you'd have been there 8 year's earlier you would have also enjoyed purchasing, for 20 American dollars, the Actifed tablets that I sold when I ran out of Extacy. I can always be found just past Sgt. Peppers and Blanca White's at Taboo's. I never get tired of selling bunk to the mid-western, cocksuckers during spring break.

I haven't ventured into the dog punking business, but I can tell you this, if one more faggoty corn fed Nebraskan were to tell me how bad ass my cold pills with the lettering scraped off were, I'd buy you a meal of dog ribs.

Oh, and rack poptart for the first pertinent thread I've seen in months.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 6:21 am

What about my stickman crank-twirly avatard thread .... ?

Headhunter · Post by **Headhunter** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:40 pm

I'm sitting here in Oman after 4 days of eating God knows what. The only thing I know for sure was that at the Chinese joint they took me to today, the cat tastes just like it does in Houston. I try not to ask questions, I just go by the flavor. So far, so good. They flavor whatever meat it is that I'm eating into a flavorable dish. I couldn't give a fuck if it's dog, cat, or your sisters vagina. Just spice that shit just right and make sure it's tender (that probably rules out anyones sister's vagina).

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 8:04 pm

WTH are you doing in Oman???

peter dragon · Post by **peter dragon** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 8:23 pm

Mister Bushice wrote:WTH are you doing in Oman???

eating cat, did you read the story?

mr showtime · Post by **mr showtime** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 9:50 pm

Brannie, im not trying to "dog" you, but i cant believe you were only a .025 .. BWHAHAHAHAH

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 11:40 pm

wow ^ There's a long time no see poster right there.

Hows things?

Trampis · Post by **Trampis** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 8:01 am

Taste,really depends on what your feeding your dog.I prefer Iams fed dogs over Alpo fed,more natural taste,less dry mouth.Of cours eeverything beats the cheapo brands.

Headhunter · Post by **Headhunter** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 3:37 pm

I'm here on business. I sell international chineese restaurants cat meat, so I was doing a little leg work.

Badump bum.

Seriously, I'm here to train international users on some software.

The people here are very friendly, and the food is pretty damn good. Just all sorts of meats and rice. Lamb, chicken, beef. Just no pork. I'd love some fucking bacon about now. They try with this turkey bacon crap, but it's not even close, and the chicken sausage at breakfast taste like hot dogs heated up in the rear window of a Chevy Nova.

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 4:14 pm

Headhunter wrote:
The people here are very friendly.

They seemed friendly at first here, too.

Sin,

Nic Burg

Seriously.........

Try not to end up an Al Quida hostage, HH.

I don't want to open a chargerfan post one day and see you Pezed on youtube

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 4:16 pm

Ever hear the one about the two Polish dudes visiting New York for the first time. All throughout the trip they were talking about how they couldn't wait to get "Hot Dog" at a street vendor.

The two get downtown, find a "Hot Dog" vendor, and then Grzegorz says to Stosh

"Stosh, what part of the dog did you get".

~runs from hook~

Headhunter · Post by **Headhunter** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 5:31 pm

I've got steel belted turtlenecks. I'll be fine!

Mike Backer · Post by **Mike Backer** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 2:51 am

mr showtime wrote:Brannie, im not trying to "dog" you, but i cant believe you were only a .025 .. BWHAHAHAHAH

.025, .25...You know what I meant, Holmes. :cool:

I had somewhere between 12-16 Dos Equis and they gave me a free shot of tequila with each purchase. I was pretty smoked that night.

And the best part was I got a blow job in some dingy mexican alley while wearing a sombrero and a poncho from some American chick I met on the beach the day before. Good times. Good times.

Dog · Post by **Dog** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:23 pm

I need a cigarette.

T1B

I ate dog last night

I ate dog last night

Re: I ate dog last night

Re: I ate dog last night