Who is gayer?

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 7:52 pm

I have three pooches. A female Miniature Pincher, a male Beagle and a male Teacup Pomeranian. No, I didn't make up the latter, it's just a term they use for a smaller version of the breed so they can charge you $1000 for a fucking pooch. Thank God and G0D that my OL had him before I knew her, because there's no way in hell I'm throwing down that kind of scratch for a fucking dog.

Anywho, the Pincher (even though she is a female), lifts her leg when she pisses and likes to hump the Beagle...frequently.

The Beagle not only doesn't resist when she humps him, he waits until she's done and dismounts, before moving. And, sometimes he even positions himself in front of her, as if saying, "Come on, bitch! Hump me with your hairy triangle!".

The Pomeranian, when the dogs go outside to take a squirt, follows the male Beagle, waits until he is done pissing and eagerly laps up the other dogs piss! Nasty little fucker...

Sniff...I love my gay dogs!

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 7:57 pm

All these are German dogs. They're German because if you've ever stumbled across any German porn. You would know.

Get yourself an 'Merican dog, like a hound or a mutt, something like 'Ol Yeller.

Headhunter · Post by **Headhunter** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 7:57 pm

Who's gayer?

The dude who owns A female Miniature Pincher, a male Beagle and a male Teacup Pomeranian.

Case closed.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:00 pm

Headhunter wrote:Who's gayer?

The dude who owns A female Miniature Pincher, a male Beagle and a male Teacup Pomeranian.

Case closed.

Exactly. Something about pets resembling their master comes to mind.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:01 pm

HH,

I think OC was posing it as a challenge question, and thus the correct answer is "No one"

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:04 pm

I think OCmike needs to check out this thread:

http://www.theoneboard.com/board/viewto ... ht=#413372

trev · Post by **trev** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:12 pm

Do these gay dogs have gay names too?

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:14 pm

Tom In VA wrote:All these are German dogs. They're German because if you've ever stumbled across any German porn. You would know.

there's a surprising amount of germans on youpron, and there's a lot of really, really nice stuff on there and that's without me doing a search for lesbit wit der hund.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:14 pm

Sounds like all three belong with...

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:19 pm

Headhunter wrote:Who's gayer?

The dude who owns A female Miniature Pincher, a male Beagle and a male Teacup Pomeranian.

Case closed.

Nice job sticking the landing with "Case closed" at the end...fucker.

I picked out the Pincher and the OL picked out the beagle, when I had to take our 140lb Rottweiler to be put to sleep. The Rott was a great dog, but the Pincher has all the aggressive playfullness of him, except her turds are about the size of my little finger, as opposed to his, which were about the size of my forearm. Fewer and smaller turds to pick up is never a bad thing.

I get a pass on the Pomeranian, as my OL had him before I met her, dammit! Now if I had actually bought him, I might have been able to give Prime a run for his money in the fag-off contest. He's pretty much the only mellow-cool Pomeranian that I've ever seen. Most of the time you hardly notice the dude and usually Pomeranians are annoying little tribble-like yipyipyip fuckers that you want to beat to death with a shoe.

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:23 pm

Bizzarofelice wrote: there's a surprising amount of germans on youpron, and there's a lot of really, really nice stuff on there and that's without me doing a search for lesbit wit der hund.

You might want to try "Lesbit mit dem Hund", as you won't find shit if you search with your phrase. I knew all that German I took would come in handy someday. Always here to help... :D

Try "Schwule die lütschen Arschlöchen" instead. Thank me later.

trev wrote:Do these gay dogs have gay names too?

The Beagle is a fatass named "Pudge". I'd tell you the names of the other two, but I lobbed up a big enough meat pitch with the title of this thread as it is. :D

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:27 pm

"Leder, Lack, Pissenfrau unt die Straponinzi Arshlochechen"

Way too overboard if you ask me.

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:40 pm

"Pissenfrau" is funny enough, but "Arshlochechen"? "Little assholes"?

Terry in Crapchester · Wed Mar 14, 2007 9:31 pm

How do they get along with the emu?

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:02 pm

Terry in Crapchester wrote:How do they get along with the emu?

The emu still lives in OC, I don't.

Although, now that you mention it... The Miniature Pincher would undoubtedly charge the emu on sight, launch and try to bite it on the ass. She'd either get stomped or have a near miss with those emu hoof/pterodactyl claws and then run like hell. The other two are chicken shits and wouldn't even go near that yard.

I got to take my 5 y/o son by the house on our way back from Disneyland one day before we moved. I thought he might get freaked out by a 7-foot bird, but he was actually excited to see the thing. Fortunately for us, he got to get right next to the bird and pet it for awhile, since the emu was being friendly that day and wasn't in "DIEDIEDIE!! KILL IT ALL!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"-mode, as meeting our end by being trampled to death by a 200lb flightless bird would have caused an otherwise solid day to end on a sour note.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:07 pm

lol.

You spin an awesome yarn.

Bucmonkey · Post by **Bucmonkey** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:20 pm

Johnny Cakes · Post by **Johnny Cakes** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:25 pm

Boy, I sure could go for a nice stack of Johnny Cakes.

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:49 pm

Great, all I need now is for another dipshit to reply next and it'll be three in a row. What a bunch of-

What?...oh, shit. Oot.

Rooster · Post by **Rooster** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:02 am

Does my black standard poodle in a Continental (think French Fi-fi cut) style count as effeminate?

The Whistle Is Screaming · Fri Mar 16, 2007 2:07 pm

Tom In VA wrote:"Leder, Lack, Pissenfrau unt die Straponinzi Arshlochechen"

Way too overboard if you ask me.

How about this ...

FZ wrote:Fick mich, du
Miserabler hurensohn
Du miserabler hurensohn
Fick mich, du
Miserabler hurensohn
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinen
Heissen gelockten
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinen
Heissen gelockten
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinen
Heissen gelockten
Schwanz
Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!
Mach es sehr schnell
Rein und raus
Magisches schwein
Mach es sehr schnell
Rein und raus
Magisches schwein
Bis es spritzt, spritzt,
Spritzt, spritzt
Feuer!
Bis es spritzt, spritzt,
Spritzt, spritzt
Feuer!
Aber beklecker nicht
Das sofa, sofa!
Aber beklecker nicht
Das sofa, sofa!
Aber beklecker nicht
Das sofa, sofa!
Aber beklecker nicht
Das sofa, sofa!

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 2:23 pm

The Whistle Is Screaming wrote: Magisches schwein

What is "Magic penis"?

I'll take Deutsch dialogue for $18 bazillion, Alex.

The Whistle Is Screaming · Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:08 pm

Rootbeer wrote:
The Whistle Is Screaming wrote: Magisches schwein
What is "Magic penis"?

I'll take Deutsch dialogue for $18 bazillion, Alex.

What is "Stick it out" by Frank Zappa ...

I'll go with "My balls feel like a pair of maracas" for 20 bazillion, Alex.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:20 pm

OCmike wrote:
Headhunter wrote:Who's gayer?

The dude who owns A female Miniature Pincher, a male Beagle and a male Teacup Pomeranian.

Case closed.
Nice job sticking the landing with "Case closed" at the end...fucker.

I picked out the Pincher and the OL picked out the beagle, when I had to take our 140lb Rottweiler to be put to sleep. The Rott was a great dog, but the Pincher has all the aggressive playfullness of him, except her turds are about the size of my little finger, as opposed to his, which were about the size of my forearm. Fewer and smaller turds to pick up is never a bad thing.

I get a pass on the Pomeranian, as my OL had him before I met her, dammit! Now if I had actually bought him, I might have been able to give Prime a run for his money in the fag-off contest. He's pretty much the only mellow-cool Pomeranian that I've ever seen. Most of the time you hardly notice the dude and usually Pomeranians are annoying little tribble-like yipyipyip fuckers that you want to beat to death with a shoe.

So what your really trying to say is that the sloppy ass esx with the rottie wasn't doing it for you anymore, so you trade him in on a Pincher. Make that a playfully aggressive Pincher.

Different strokes, I guess.

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:07 pm

Rootbeer wrote:
The Whistle Is Screaming wrote: Magisches schwein
What is "Magic penis"?

I'll take Deutsch dialogue for $18 bazillion, Alex.

Actually, that's "Magic pig". As always, I'm here to help...

So far, I'd have to say R-Jack's In-laws and the sailor outfit have a solid lead.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:42 pm

OCmike wrote:So far, I'd have to say R-Jack's In-laws and the sailor outfit have a solid lead.

I dunno... it's like asking what's gayer, Liberace wearing a crotchless hot pink maid's outfit fucking himself in the arse while watching gay porn...

Or

2 everyday homos skull/ass fucking another everyday homo.

It's a question of R-Jack's quality over your quantity. It's a really, really tough call. I am torn...

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:46 pm

OCmike wrote:
Rootbeer wrote:
The Whistle Is Screaming wrote: Magisches schwein
What is "Magic penis"?

I'll take Deutsch dialogue for $18 bazillion, Alex.
Actually, that's "Magic pig".

Couldn't it be interpreted as "Magic Hog", which in turn would be synonymous with "Magic Penis" ?

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 5:49 am

And this is me and my dog, thrilled to be babysitting the little faggot while they are out of town.

yeah well the little dog doesn't have the guilty as fuck "yeah I was licking my masters balls, so what?" look on his face like your dog has.

sayin'

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 3:58 pm

Mister Bushice wrote:
And this is me and my dog, thrilled to be babysitting the little faggot while they are out of town.
yeah well the little dog doesn't have the guilty as fuck "yeah I was licking my masters balls, so what?" look on his face like your dog has.

sayin'

He DOES have a "guilty sinner" look on his face! Nice find!

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 7:44 pm

R-Jack wrote:

Hello-o-o-o-o Nurse!

Quality.
VVVVVV

socal · Post by **socal** » Sun Mar 18, 2007 3:34 pm

R-Jack wrote:

I know what is next, save it. That couch is long gone. I didn't even donate it.

If by 'long gone' you mean dumped in the backyard, I believe you. Who's to doubt a pudgy, Gen X Raiduh fan adorned in authentic wifebeater playa gear and cutoffs seated beneath his Obi Wan Kenobi magic eye poster tastefully framed in glossy black reflecting the neighbor's cat curled up atop the blue kiddie pool?

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Sun Mar 18, 2007 4:53 pm

Rooster wrote:Does my black standard poodle in a Continental (think French Fi-fi cut) style count as effeminate?

No.

English Saddle clip is gayer than a Ungaro spring frock, though