Yo Headhunter

Douchebag · Post by **Douchebag** » Wed May 09, 2007 1:08 am

sup bro? you mentioned this a while back and I hung onto it just in case:

Headhunter wrote:Rack Douchebag! I think I'll paypal him some cash to get started. After stop 1, he'll no longer need extra cash, as I'm sure he'll steal your wallet and your girl after he whips your ass!

dude, can you hook me up? Float me like a hundred dollars? I'm good for it, man. straight up. Even if all you can give is twenty bucks, that's cool.

HERE'S THE UPDATE DILDOS -

the fucking Greyhound broke down last night, and i was stuck in some ratty, dirty shithole town somwhere in northern West Virginia. they couldn't get another bus there until late in the morning so i was forced to stay in some sleezebucket motel for the night, which set me back about $39.99. if there was a Choice hotel somewhere in this cousin-breeding ratbox of a town i could've used by 25% off coupon and saved some serious jack. DAMNIT!

And i fu cking HATE staying in anything less than a 3 Star hotel. i'm used to the higher end places like Quality Inn and The Roof.

anyway, it was going on 11am and the replacement Greyhound still hadn't showed. the driver said how some dumbshit coordinator down at dispatch didn't get the news until like 5 hours later.

at that point, i was waiting outside with the rest of the passengers with my heavy-ass Jansport backpack on, and i yelled out "FUCK THIS BULLSHIT! AND FUCK YOU, GREYHOUND!"

i stormed off and headed down the main highway, kicking up gravel behind me to show them and the driver how PISSED i was

But soon enough...JACKPOT!

the first h ouse i passed had this van outside wiht a for sale sign.

some redneck was swinging from his porch swigging a beer and i approached him and asked how much. He said $300.

I said, "For THAT piece of rotting metal?"

"Take it or leave it," he said.

I WAS going to break out my fists and beat him for the keys, but i noticed a loaded shotgun next to his lawnchair and didn't want to risk it so I said, "fuggit," and broke out my wallet and paid the smelly fuck.

He flung me the keys and i raced to that sucker and hopped back on the highway.

anyway, i've finally gotten here. i've got $15 left to my name. barely enough for a couple meals, and no hotel money. i'm sleeping in the van tonight - which smells like sweat and urine.

i need some cash, bro. Stevo's tapped out even. whatever you can do, dude.

Cicatrix · Post by **Cicatrix** » Wed May 09, 2007 1:25 am

Donate some sperm. Get it from Stevo's colon.

Enigmabag · Post by **Enigmabag** » Wed May 09, 2007 1:33 am

i told you the last time we got stuck with all those pukas that times were changing. but you wouldnt listen. now look at you. sitting in the burgh, by yourself ina piss bucket waiting to get your ASS handed to you. again. id feel sorry for you if you werent such a back stabbing son of a bitch.

and now your begging dudes for cash. why dont you just go suck some dick for a dollar and get it over with. deep down, you probably want to do it anyway. it might explain why you hang out with fags and are angry all the time.

i could loan you some money. the MAN pays me 15% on the wind chimes i sell, and me and t-bag are fucking rolling in cash and chicks. we don't stay in shitbox motels, either. the MAN has a bunch of chicks in every city that let us crash in their apartnment. eat a dick, db.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed May 09, 2007 1:36 am

Douchebag wrote:my heavy-ass Jansport backpack .

RACK the U&L gear. When combined with a VW Bus, you're freaking gold in the U&L.

Rollins · Post by **Rollins** » Wed May 09, 2007 2:20 pm

Dude, your celly is disconnected again? WTF, man?

Look, I've got an idea. My eastern region sales supervisor with Schwan's is still in downtown Pittsburgh. I just got off the phone with him, and he's willing to hook you up with a booth for a couple days to work out of. There's nothin to it, man. Just learn the catalog, and try to push the higher priced items.

He'll pay you under the table as long as you can meet the quotas.

I'll PM you the details.

Later, brah.

RevLimiter · Post by **RevLimiter** » Wed May 09, 2007 2:26 pm

Rollins wrote:I'll PM you the details.

There's a first....maybe you ought to show your other boys how that feature works, Shitstain.

Douchebag · Post by **Douchebag** » Wed May 09, 2007 5:05 pm

Dinsdale wrote:RACK the U&L gear. When combined with a VW Bus, you're freaking gold in the U&L.

Uhh, so you can lend me some cash then? I'm good for it, brah.

Enigmabag - FUCK OFF. i wouldn't take a PENNY from you even if that meant my dying mother could live. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT.

Rollins - i'm supposed to meet up with your boss later this afternoon. he's going to run me through a crash course on how to sell this shit. thanks for getting me out of this bind, bro. i owe you bigtime. once i rake in a few bucks, i can focus on killing PSUFAN again.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed May 09, 2007 5:14 pm

Douchebag wrote:Uhh, so you can lend me some cash then? I'm good for it, brah.

Sorry, I'm a little short at the moment. But I'll totally hook you up with this really bitchin plasma donation place that will score you some dough when you get here.

You can pass the HIV screening, can't you?

Felix · Post by **Felix** » Wed May 09, 2007 5:41 pm

Douchebag wrote:
Uhh, so you can lend me some cash then?

your constant whine for money is getting kind of embarassing dude......

here's a website to help you out....

http://www.lazybeggers.com/en/ideas.html

and before you ask.....

NO I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY YOU CAN BORROW

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed May 09, 2007 8:13 pm

Douchebag wrote:Rollins - i'm supposed to meet up with your boss later this afternoon. he's going to run me through a crash course on how to sell this shit. thanks for getting me out of this bind, bro. i owe you bigtime. once i rake in a few bucks, i can focus on killing PSUFAN again.

You're going to try to make money selling Schwan's? I think you can make a hell of a lot more sucking schwanz.

Felix · Post by **Felix** » Wed May 09, 2007 8:31 pm

Douchebag wrote:he's going to run me through a crash course on how to sell this shit. thanks for getting me out of this bind, bro. i owe you bigtime. once i rake in a few bucks, i can focus on killing PSUFAN again.

dude, can you hook me up with some of those buffalo wings....they're pretty tasty....

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Thu May 10, 2007 12:07 am

Felix wrote:

Dang!

Now I remember where I've seen that face before...

All of a sudden it hits me... lose the hat, change the shirt, add some puka shells...

Douchebag

InkyDave

Fuuuuukkkkkk

bbqjones · Post by **bbqjones** » Thu May 10, 2007 12:40 am

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Thu May 10, 2007 2:35 am

Douchebag wrote:sup bro? you mentioned this a while back and I hung onto it just in case:

Headhunter wrote:Rack Douchebag! I think I'll paypal him some cash to get started. After stop 1, he'll no longer need extra cash, as I'm sure he'll steal your wallet and your girl after he whips your ass!
dude, can you hook me up? Float me like a hundred dollars? I'm good for it, man. straight up. Even if all you can give is twenty bucks, that's cool.

Hey, I said "fear the douche," and I said it EARLY ON, asswipe. Where the hell are my props?

I would have given you 20 bucks, too. Not now. And don't ever come near Tulsa. I've got the KC crew ready to hit the road and be here before you can say U.S. 71 and I-44.

DICK.

Headhunter · Post by **Headhunter** » Thu May 10, 2007 12:47 pm

If you punch some of these mother fuckers in the throat, you can consider the loan a gift.

Check your pay pal account... You should have what you need!

Douchebag · Post by **Douchebag** » Thu May 10, 2007 1:20 pm

Fucking TIGHT!

I've got more than enough to stay for at least 3 nights in the Quality Inn, two meals a day, gas for the bus, and some booze.

Rollins - Tell your boss to get fucked. I'm NOT working the booth today. FUCK THAT shit.

game ON PSUFAN. Game fucking ON!

Dice · Post by **Dice** » Thu May 10, 2007 1:36 pm

Awesome. Just awesome.

The Crew is fucking BACK!

And stronger than ever.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu May 10, 2007 1:53 pm

Headhunter wrote:Check your pay pal account...

Wrong move, douche. Consider it HACKED

Stevo · Post by **Stevo** » Thu May 10, 2007 9:29 pm

BOOYA!

I've recovered some pretty definitive info on PSUFAN's place of employment and residential address.

Holllleeeeyyyyy FUCK, some SHIT is about to go down!

stay tuned

tuff gong · Post by **tuff gong** » Thu May 10, 2007 10:17 pm

So EB hired on with M2 - sweet!

How do those Schwann's meals stack up to, say, Stouffers or Marie Callender? Are they any better or is it the same processed 'chicken' entrees and salisbury steak?

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Thu May 10, 2007 10:58 pm

bzzztt-krck-bzzt-hsssssssss--click

Stevo wrote:BOOYA! (I know saying that is gay to the extreme, but I just LOVE DJ Stuey Scott.)

I've recovered some pretty definitive info in my bloodied stool from PSUFAN's fist up my ass. I felt just like a muppet.

Holllleeeeyyyyy FUCK, some SHIT is about to go down my throat again!

stay tuned

hsss-bzzzzt-click

----------------------message in full post static clean up--------------------------------

the_ouskull · Post by **the_ouskull** » Thu May 10, 2007 10:59 pm

Attn: Fat Queerbait In Pink Shirt

If you're having money problems you could always sell this laptop that you much be posting from. I mean, given that you have posted from all over the green Earf, this thing must be worth some cayshe. Jus' sayin'.

the_ouskull

Stevo · Post by **Stevo** » Fri May 11, 2007 2:54 am

Oh, fuck...

Some real bad shit has come to light, boss. This is NOT good. My arch nemesis is... BACK.

His name is O'Cyrus. The guy's good. Real good.

...

The best.

And he said he's coming after...me.

FUCK.

tuff gong · Post by **tuff gong** » Fri May 11, 2007 6:04 am

What's he 'real good' at - studying? being orange?

Yeah he looks real scary. Watch out, Stevo, he might beat you over the head with his laptop.

Memo to Douchebag: you could be a little more gracious to Rollins for getting you a job offer, not to mention to his boss at Schwanns. You'll need that raincheck down the road, mister. You may be in the Burgh a little longer than planned - PSU is putting up quite a fight.

Might not hurt to mend fences with E-bag, while you're at it - he might be able to hook you up with a renfaire gig - hey! That's the ticket - with M2ool + Enimabag's help, you could relaunch the beatdown tour - just work it into the renfaire sked. You could be a sideshow attraction at the faire during the day, and in your free time track down whoever is on the list in your radius.

Stevo · Post by **Stevo** » Fri May 11, 2007 1:32 pm

tuff gong wrote:Yeah he looks real scary. Watch out, Stevo, he might beat you over the head with his laptop.

Uhhh, O'Cyrus is only one of the most dangerous human beings...on the planet. His knowledge of surveillance, tracking equipment and radar far surpasses anyone I know. With a strand of hair, he can locate you in less than a minute.

Then he sends his crew after you.

I won't be able to stay in one place long. I'll have to be mobile. But that's okay. I'm designing new technology for this

Felix · Post by **Felix** » Fri May 11, 2007 1:52 pm

Stevo wrote: good. Real good.

rack all Warriors resets........

Douchebag · Post by **Douchebag** » Fri May 11, 2007 3:18 pm

O'Cyrus, huh?

FUCK

you're right, that's NOT good. i may have to rethink some things.

peace

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri May 11, 2007 5:27 pm

I've been doing my own surveillance. I've been perched on the roofs of Downtown PGH, seeking Douchebag's fat ass.

I should find him within an hour or so.

I'll FIND you, assholE

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri May 11, 2007 6:53 pm

PSUFAN wrote:I've been doing my own surveillance. I've been perched on the roofs of Downtown PGH, seeking Douchebag's fat ass.

Is that shirt like dark pink?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri May 11, 2007 6:59 pm

Uhm...the Nineteen-Nevers called -- they want their hairstyle back.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Fri May 11, 2007 7:04 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
PSUFAN wrote:I've been doing my own surveillance. I've been perched on the roofs of Downtown PGH, seeking Douchebag's fat ass.

Is that shirt like dark pink?

It's called going undercover. Except he needs to flip the collar.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Fri May 11, 2007 9:31 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
PSUFAN wrote:I've been doing my own surveillance. I've been perched on the roofs of Downtown PGH, seeking Douchebag's fat ass.

Is that shirt like dark pink?

Actually, it looks like pink Paisley

Any bets that it's, like, 60/40 Dacron/Rayon?

T1B

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