FINAL SHIT LIST RANKINGS - SET IN STONE

[Douchebag]

10. Mister Buschice
9. mvscal
8. Goober McTuber
7. KC Scott
6. Smackie Chan
5. Y2K
4. smackaholic
3. PSUFAN
2. Jay in Phoenix
1. R-Jack

all of you will fucking die

t minus 6 days

[Dice]

I can't fucking wait. My dick is getting hard.

[Bobby42]

10. Mister Buschice
9. mvscal
8. Goober McTuber
7. KC Scott
6. Smackie Chan
5. Y2K
4. smackaholic
3. PSUFAN
2. Jay in Phoenix
1. R-Jack

Is this how it works? Each and everyone in the above list smacked the shit outta you?

[War Wagon]

Nah, those are the guys financing the tour.

[smackaholic]

I can't fucking wait. My dick is getting hard.

gaxest post of the week, make it month.

[Stevo]

Posts like that are why you're cemented on the list, smackaholic. You've shown D-Bag and The Crew NO respect, and have continued to judge us. That is why you must die.

[poptart]

I know they're all going to die....but what happens in six days?

creation

[MuchoBulls]

I can't fucking wait. My dick is getting hard.

I guess D'Bag must be bent over right in front of you then.

[Ana Ng]

10. Mister Buschice
9. mvscal
8. Goober McTuber
7. KC Scott
6. Smackie Chan
5. Y2K
4. smackaholic
3. PSUFAN
2. Jay in Phoenix
1. R-Jack

all of you will fucking die

t minus 6 days

Be sure to collect the belly button lint from each and every one of these jokers.

(I'm gonna crochet you a scarf to hang yourself with)

[Smackie Chan]

10. Mister Buschice
9. mvscal
8. Goober McTuber
7. KC Scott
6. Smackie Chan
5. Y2K
4. smackaholic
3. PSUFAN
2. Jay in Phoenix
1. R-Jack

all of you will fucking die

t minus 6 days

If you're at t minus six, it looks like I'll have to administer your beatdown when you make your West Coast swing. I'll be there on business, but I'm sure I can squeeze in a moment to open up a can of whupass on you. Make your time.

[The Whistle Is Screaming]

If they're all going to die, why even bother with the rankings? I mean you can only kill them once, #1 won't be any more (or less) dead than #10, so why use up all that valuable brain power for a meaningless ranking? It would have been more productive to list the names in geographic/travel order. The benefit would have been twofold. 1) You needed to maximize your limited travel budget (the crew ain't rolling in cash) by strategically planning the most efficient and cost effective route between Deathstops*. 2) You add to the victims stress level because they'd know when they were next. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd rather be surprised by death, than to know it's coming around the next corner.

Just some things to think about for next time.

Good luck anyway!




*I am copywriting this so keep your mitts off of it!

[Stevo]

You think you know, but you have no fucking idea.

NEVER question The Crew.

We have very specific reasons for why we do things.

[Goober McTuber]

You think you know, but you have no fucking idea.

NEVER question The Crew.

We have very specific reasons for why we do things.

Really? What’s the reasoning behind you looking like a cum-chugging nancy-boy?

[The Whistle Is Screaming]

You think you know, but you have no fucking idea.

If I wanted your opinion, I'd (insert any one of a number of snappy remarks that would sail over Stevo's head), I was talking to Douche Bag.

NEVER question The Crew.

Right, because "the crew" is too stupid to answer.

We have very specific reasons for why we do things.

So do we, and like you, we just don't know what they are.

-sin
Lemmings

[The Whistle Is Screaming]

Just some things to think about for next time.

I chuckled.

Sure, it's easy for you to laugh, you'll be dead and won't have to endure this pain again.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Sure, it's easy for you to laugh, you'll be dead and won't have to endure this pain again.

The only real death that anyone will suffer from here is brain death from the Douchecrew's repetitve "you just wait" and "why I oughta" and "nyuck-nyuck-nyucks". The Crew Stooges are just playing for 'fantasy league death' points, and Stevo and Rollins are getting their pasty asses kicked.

Douchebag got eliminated when he got buggered in his back taco by leaf blower.

[PSUFAN]

See how The Crew rolls?

I KILL and BURN one of their key playas..and I fucking move down the list?

Hey R-Jack and Jay...don't sweat these assholes.

[Mister Bushice]

They couldn't off a guy who gave them a date, time, and place to meet. These losers couldn't find Los Angeles if you spotted them a plane ticket to LAX.

[Cuda]

Question: How is the list ordered?

I mean, is 10 the worst anybody can suck, or is that #1?

[Goober McTuber]

Question: How is the list ordered?

I mean, is 10 the worst anybody can suck, or is that #1?

Cooter,

It's a list of the people who have made the best efforts to humiliate Douchebag and his crew. If it were based on suckage, you would be at the top of the list (#1).

[Trollfessor]

10. Mister Buschice
9. mvscal
8. Goober McTuber
7. KC Scott
6. Smackie Chan
5. Y2K
4. smackaholic
3. PSUFAN
2. Jay in Phoenix
1. R-Jack

An excellent list, RACK all of you for a job well done.

[Smackie Chan]

Question: How is the list ordered?

I mean, is 10 the worst anybody can suck, or is that #1?

Cooter,

It's a list of the people who have made the best efforts to humiliate Douchebag and his crew. If it were based on suckage, you would be at the top of the list (#1).

I think I've logged a total of maybe 5 posts that referred at all to the doosh patrol, and hardly any effort went into them. If that was good (or bad) enough to land me in the middle of the list, the bar has been set extremely low.

[Douchebag]

listen you STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLES

you have NO IDEA why these rankings are the way they are. ok? but if you MUST know, here's the fucking deal. the top ten was based on which of you dicksucks straight up PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF more than anybody else.

it didn't necessarily have anything to do with who put in the "best effort" or who had the most posts. it could've just been a one sentence reply that said i suck dicks or something. even the simplest of posts made me jump out of my fucking chair and start putting holes in walls. mvscal said something real short and simple one day that made me beat my own face in till i couldn't even recognize myself in the mirror. because i was so FULL of rage

[Douchebag]

But to be fair, that is pretty easy to do with you.

"to be fair" you've never even registered on my pissed off radar, FAGGOT

but that's because i can tolerate your existence. i don't dry heave at the thought of you or when i see your posts. why? because with every ailment known to man, i know darwin will take care of you for me.

FUCK OFF

[War Wagon]

mvscal said something real short and simple one day that made me beat my own face in till i couldn't even recognize myself in the mirror. because i was so FULL of rage

mv has that effect on everyone.

Are you my troll?

[Bucmonkey]

Chimney

[Qbert]

listen you STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLES

you have NO IDEA why these rankings are the way they are. ok? but if you MUST know, here's the fucking deal. the top ten was based on which of you dicksucks straight up PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF more than anybody else.

it didn't necessarily have anything to do with who put in the "best effort" or who had the most posts. it could've just been a one sentence reply that said i suck dicks or something. even the simplest of posts made me jump out of my fucking chair and start putting holes in walls. mvscal said something real short and simple one day that made me beat my own face in till i couldn't even recognize myself in the mirror. because i was so FULL of rage

ya'know what DB....i can relate.

just the other day I was walking across the street to get another 30 of Busch Light.

i was minding my own business and not paying much attention....and guess WHAT????

I STEPPED IN GUM!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....you simple Bastard........

[PSUFAN]

But to be fair

JESUS CHRISTOS, MAN!!!!! THIS IS A FIGHT THREAD!!! SAVE "FAIR" FOR YOUR EPIC .NET THREADS!!!


"fair"...good crinkling christ...

[Jay in Phoenix]

So that would be me. I would be the one that pissed you off more than anyone else.

I have to ask why?

Actually R-Jack, it really isn't you. In fact, it isn't any one of us that pisses off the Douchenozzle so badly.

The truth of the matter is that it is Douchebag his own pathetic self that stokes his inner rage. Think about it. As you pointed out, he hasn't seen his own feet in years. He hasn't seen his pathetically tiny man-clit in years. He's stuck in stylistic limbo with his gay fashion sense. He continues to wear outdated aviators. He hangs out with a bunch of idiots who couldn't get fucked in whore house with $100 bills hanging out of their cock-pockets. He is an obese half-wit who hates himself so badly he has to project it onto a group of strangers on an anonymous bulletin board.

He makes promises about a tour he can never afford or finance, let alone actually go on. He makes threats of violence which he can never, will never, ever back up. He's marooned in fantasy world with his mentally retarded butt surfing buddies, blurring the lines D&D and Warcraft with actual life. Hell, Enigmabag's Ren-Fairie world is more real.

Worse yet, he got raped by a group of immigrant yard jockeys and gave birth to a shitbaby.

And you wonder why he's pissed? Just look at him!

You'ld be pissed too if you had to live like that.

Ah, but what the hell. Hey Douchefag, I just received that order of pink ropes with the faux puka shell nooses. I made sure yours was a triple large, to accomodate all three of your chins snugly. The puka design is going to chaffe something fierce, but you ought to be used to pain and abuse by now. While you're dangling from the tree, I'm going to cover you in pink paper mache and let a bunch of wetback kids play pinata on your bloated corpse. They're going to be disappointed by the lack of candy, but the blood splattered guts that splurt out of your body ought to put a smile on their little brown faces.

La muerte de dios indeed.

[PSUFAN]

Pig innards are candy to wetback kids. Are you sure you really live in Phoenix?

[Jay in Phoenix]

Pig innards are candy to wetback kids. Are you sure you really live in Phoenix?

You know, I never thought of it quite like that before. Fuckin' Douchebag is going to be just like a goddamn sweet shoppe to those dirty little bean eaters.

It'll be Halloween, Easter and Christmas all rolled into one big, fat pinata Doucheass to those kids.

[jtr]

oh c'mon im shittier than half those posers.

[Rollins]

It's almost time. June 3rd can't come soon enough. Soon I will be departing for southwest Florida and checking into my motel.

Cicero is fucked.

All of you are fucked.

[A-Bomb]

i've got some fuckin cloves and a 30 of Natty. I say we take the night off and get fucked up tonight. YO ROLLINS, bring Guitar Hero dawg. i lost a $20 bet with Dice and had to break off my guitar into my own ass.

[Goober McTuber]

Cicero is fucked.

No shit. Pretty much every night. Tiberious out front should have told you.

[Dice]

Agreed. We could really use a night off. D-Bag, we feel you dog with the working 16 hour days and all, but we're rolling in fucking straight CASH homie, so we need to be spendin dis shit tonight. We need to get fucked up and fuck some hot sluts. I know i'm no Slim, but I think I can troll the local 7-11 and bring back a couple of sugar faced fat community college dropouts to bring back to the crib and fuck HARD.

Hit me up on my celly man. Let us know what the fuckin deal is. We're just straight itchin to get our PARTY on. God, I want to FUCK.

[Stevo]

STEVO IN THE HHHHHIIIIIIZZZZZZOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!

Fuck YEAH! Man, my brain fucking hurts like balls. So many hours logged watching video on you fucking dipholes. It's time to GET FUCKING JACKED. Bring on the fucking hot, horny, fat, fucking WHORES! FUCK YEAH!

[Douchebag]

take the night off, boys. you put in some MAD hours and worked fucking hard this week. i'm gonna stay at headquarters and continue to watch video on Cicero, Tiberious, MuchoBulls, Wolverine Steve, bbqjones and Wolfman. their shit is going to get FUCKED UP.

i'm also talkikng to patsy stone about her sucking my dick more than once while I'm down there.

[KC Scott]

7. KC Scott

This needs to be decided on the field and not based on some strength of schedule ranking bullshit.

Unwar the DCS

[RevLimiter]

God, I want to FUCK.

Boy, if m2 were still here you'd probably want to have that one back.