Is Luther Dead?

It's the 19th Anniversary for T1B - Fuckin' A

Moderator: Jesus H Christ

User avatar
TenTallBen
No title requested
Posts: 1975
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 8:07 pm
Location: Zydeco Country

Is Luther Dead?

Post by TenTallBen »

Or did he just abandon this ship like everybody else?

My guess is ass cancer.
User avatar
Wolfman
Dumpater Artist
Posts: 7318
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 1:16 pm
Location: SW FL

Post by Wolfman »

no
"It''s not dark yet--but it's getting there". -- Bob Dylan

Carbon Dating, the number one dating app for senior citizens.

"Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teaches my hands to the war, and my fingers to fight."
User avatar
TenTallBen
No title requested
Posts: 1975
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 8:07 pm
Location: Zydeco Country

Post by TenTallBen »

No on dead or no on ass cancer?
User avatar
smackaholic
Walrus Team 6
Posts: 21748
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:46 pm
Location: upside it

Post by smackaholic »

Runned by the poptart, just like fester and countless others.

Everybody seems to think the lack of traffic here is due to no connection to the rome show and the all around general gaxness/suxness that exists here. Sorry, but, that ain't it. I mean, it is gax and all, but, the only reason this place doesn't have SC3 kind of traffic is simply that most everyone has been run by you know who.
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
User avatar
Qbert
Moderator
Posts: 2187
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:41 pm
Contact:

Post by Qbert »

BULLSHIT!

one of the 5 of US Forgot that Password! :mrgreen:

so many names....so many Trolls....

G0D willing....Luther will be back.

the TARD element HERE can't Frighten Him....

HA!
User avatar
poptart
Quitty McQuitface
Posts: 15211
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 1:45 pm

Post by poptart »

Luth is due post a quarterly death pool update, so I think he'll be in shortly.

All of my choices (Paul Tagliabue, Walt Coleman, Mike Carey, Pat Bowlen, Jon Gruden) have disappointed me by remaining alive.

War 2nd half comebacks!
User avatar
Dinsdale
Lord Google
Posts: 33414
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 5:30 pm
Location: Rip City

Post by Dinsdale »

Luth will have a triumphant return, if for no other reason, so he can sign all his posts with the most BODE-laden name in all of sports there days.


-Rip City
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
Raydah James
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 3820
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2005 1:52 am

Re: Is Luther Dead?

Post by Raydah James »

TenTallBen wrote:Is Luther Dead?
No, but too bad you fucking aren't.



UNRACK the tree that didnt hit paydirt on your Zima intoxicated takeless cunt ass.
User avatar
bbqjones
indian black betty
Posts: 1731
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 8:55 am

Post by bbqjones »

lol!@everybody;:}
help me scrape the mucus off my brain
Jerkovich
Please pay attention to Me
Posts: 1149
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:10 pm

Post by Jerkovich »

I'm sure he shit himself to death.
Image
Luther
Old Coot
Posts: 2275
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 8:16 am

Post by Luther »

poptart wrote:Luth is due post a quarterly death pool update, so I think he'll be in shortly.

All of my choices (Paul Tagliabue, Walt Coleman, Mike Carey, Pat Bowlen, Jon Gruden) have disappointed me by remaining alive.

War 2nd half comebacks!
BINGO.

I guess I'll have to go over to the archives and pull up this years picks and then print the thing off. It's not as easy as you think as you have the corrections and updates throughout the thread, and then you highlight the dead fookers and how many points each guy got.

During the winter I did a lot of fishing for Steelhead. Spring broke and I tried to get some Chinook, but that turned out to be a bummer experience. There is just way too many people around the metro area and I wasn't cool with close-nit fishin'. I said, "Fook it," and opted to leave bank salmon fishing as it just got to be too crowded. A quiet lake, and a hot cup of Joe sounds far more interesting than combat fishing. The days of Mayberry with Andy and Opie walking down to fish....alone and with silence, is long gone. Unless I hit the road and left the populated areas.

Good ol' Dins. Bwahahahhaha. Dins is always a good read and I'm surprised that "Drudge" hasn't a link to a Dins blog. Dins: Dude, why the fook don't you have one of those blog things? Bang some keys from work, have some software/Internet/web page experienced connections like PSU/Bushy/Y2K or whatever, and within about two years, you could be a syndicated authority on LIFE. For cirssakes man, look into it.

Yeah, I've been gone since before XMAS, but I've posted a few at the nut. The nut is OK, but I'm just a loyal visitor. Kind of like here, post for six months and move on for awhile. Post there for awhile and fish. Fish and move.

mvscal is still noggin' it? Hahahaha. I always will hit on a mv post...to get my daily shock/gasp/reality slap for the day. Some people judge people on what type of car they drive. I mean, you know Dins doesn't drive a car that is worth a shit. He doesn't care how he gets to a skank, ...he only cares that he arrives/leaves on his time. AP drives a gas guzzling Ford truck, Rack Fu has his $54G leaf avoider, Fester prolly drives a '66 Chev P/U. Bushy probably has something workable/flashy/penis substitute type of car. A Camry, maybe. He'll have GPS, Sirius (whatever sp?), and a autojack. Double thick drivers floor carpet. Sick. Dude will always be on time, professional, and can be counted on for a few decent posts. He's solid, but his mom claims the boy jacked off to some serious weird pictures. (I'll do a thread later on my PrimeTime report in September)

I've read the NBA forum of late and enjoyed the huge excitement around the reality that we had the first round pick. I've exchanged a few PM's with Dins regarding the Blazers, and it has just been pretty fun. My tard neighbor "Dusty" had a party on Thursday (draft night). I had ESPN on myself and watched the evening. Random drunken belch manifestations that I heard included these:
"ODEN'S SACK can hold not only Dinsdale but also Bill Walton."

"First child born at Emanuel Hospital on Thurday after the draft was Oden Quarantale Lumombo Jacuzzi Davis."

Foster father/Tri-Met provider, Dins: "Don't even think of contending from here on out. Don't do it."
I'll work on the Death Pool standings. Give me some time.

Rip City

p.s. Since day one of Rome style board postings I have used "Rip City" as my "sign off signature." I think I'll stay with the sign off as it has been with me since the beginning. Shit, I've probably had that signoff longer than most posters have been here. God bless ya.
Raydah James
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 3820
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2005 1:52 am

Post by Raydah James »

RACK the return of Luth.....
User avatar
Wolfman
Dumpater Artist
Posts: 7318
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 1:16 pm
Location: SW FL

Post by Wolfman »

see--I told you !
wb retired man !!
"It''s not dark yet--but it's getting there". -- Bob Dylan

Carbon Dating, the number one dating app for senior citizens.

"Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teaches my hands to the war, and my fingers to fight."
User avatar
Felix
2012 JAFFL Champ
Posts: 9271
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:37 pm
Location: probably on a golf course

Post by Felix »

Luther wrote:"CHEESEBURGER...HAMBURGER...NNNNGGGGMMMMM"
how's the neighborhood Luth.....anybody torched Tard Den yet?

if you haven't heard of the story of Luth's next door neighbors...just ask him....

http://s129.photobucket.com/albums/p209 ... 1168558412
get out, get out while there's still time
User avatar
War Wagon
2010 CFB Pickem Champ
Posts: 21127
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:38 pm
Location: Tiger country

Post by War Wagon »

Luther wrote:A quiet lake, and a hot cup of Joe sounds far more interesting than combat fishing. The days of Mayberry with Andy and Opie walking down to fish....alone and with silence, is long gone. Unless I hit the road and left the populated areas.


Luth, I expect your demise some day to be out in the wilderness camping w/o out a soul around to drag your ass to the emergency room.

And I expect that's just the way you'd want to go.

Anyways, I guess a thread where Luth is lurking is the best place to regale everyone with my 1st camping experience in some time. See, I fooking hate camping. Give me a fleabag motel with a decent bed and a hot shower, maybe some ESPN on the cable TV set that's bolted to the wall, and it's all good.

But this year I decide to go camping around a canoe trip on the Elk river in southern Missouri with some buddies from work. These guys are seasoned campers, and probably brought all the gear that I either forgot or didn't know to bring in the first place. What could go wrong, eh? To make a long camping story short, it fucking rained it's ass off both Friday nite when we were setting up camp, and this morning when we were breaking camp. You ever try setting up or dismantling a tent in the pouring rain? :brad:

But it wasn't a lost week-end by any means. By some twist of fate, the float trip gods made the rain hold off pretty much all day Saturday except for a brief shower that actually felt good on my sunburned shoulders. Being on a river during a constant rainstorm flat out sucks. It's one thing to get wet when you can soon get dry. It's quite another to stay wet, and I've been on a few of those trips also.

I dislike camping, but I love canoeing, and that's the whole reason I decided to throw my lot in with these guys. Missouri has some great float streams thru the Ozarks which comprise most of the southern third of the State, and I've been on many of them. Some several times. They told me the Elk was a great 'party' river and I'm like ok, I can dig that I guess. I'd never been there before.

Holy shit! Think 'Girls Gone Wild' crossed with a 'Cops' episode and that may give you some idea of the drunken debauchery I witnessed and participated in yesterday. For 8 not so straight miles of river, their was an orgy of depravity going on at just about every turn. Girls, and I mean some hot young pieces of ass, flashing their tits for a string of beads ala Mardi Gras style. Beer bongs and Jello shots and every manner of alcoholic beverage known to man being passed around like Iries wife at a meth heads convention.

So the rain was a minor setback in the big picture. I'm already planning to go back next year and hopefully it doesn't rain on this unhappy camper, but who cares if it does? That was as much fun as I've ever had when doing something that wasn't illegal.
User avatar
Mikey
Carbon Neutral since 1955
Posts: 31516
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 6:06 pm
Location: Paradise

Post by Mikey »

Did you get to do the "squeal like a pig" part?
User avatar
War Wagon
2010 CFB Pickem Champ
Posts: 21127
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:38 pm
Location: Tiger country

Post by War Wagon »

Deliverance, this was not. The Elk is as mellow but still quite scenic a river as you'll find around these parts.

I got some good pics though, Mikey. You might be on one of them.
User avatar
Mikey
Carbon Neutral since 1955
Posts: 31516
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 6:06 pm
Location: Paradise

Post by Mikey »

War Wagon wrote:
I got some good pics though, Mikey. You might be on one of them.
Not likely. I won't flash my tits for pretty beads.

:mrgreen:
User avatar
PSUFAN
dents with meaning
Posts: 18324
Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 10:42 pm
Location: BLITZBURGH

Re: Is Luther Dead?

Post by PSUFAN »

TenTallBen wrote:Or did he just abandon this ship like everybody else?

My guess is ass cancer.
Marcus Welby you're not, halfwit.
King Crimson wrote:anytime you have a smoke tunnel and it's not Judas Priest in the mid 80's....watch out.
mvscal wrote:France totally kicks ass.
User avatar
TenTallBen
No title requested
Posts: 1975
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 8:07 pm
Location: Zydeco Country

Re: Is Luther Dead?

Post by TenTallBen »

Raydah James wrote:UNRACK the tree that didnt hit paydirt on your Zima intoxicated takeless cunt ass.

So what nic are you trolling .net under these days, Gaydar?
User avatar
Jay in Phoenix
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 3701
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 10:46 pm

Post by Jay in Phoenix »

Luther! Wandering back in from the hinterlands for a cameo. Shw-eeeet.

Glad to see you back my friend.
Raydah James
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 3820
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2005 1:52 am

Re: Is Luther Dead?

Post by Raydah James »

TenTallBen wrote:
Raydah James wrote:UNRACK the tree that didnt hit paydirt on your Zima intoxicated takeless cunt ass.

So what nic are you trolling .net under these days, Gaydar?

One need not "troll" that steaming coil of BB suck-simply bump the fucking "horsecocks" thread that is 20+ pages long, start a "rank 'em" thread with teenage girl jpgs, and post snizz shots of C- slunts and you're all good at the Easter Seal Shitboard.


Fuck that tard halfway house of a BB.



No surprise that your useless Bartles and Jaymes shotgunning ass posts there with regularity-you're a fucking gameless quivering twat of the highest order.
Moving Sale

Post by Moving Sale »

Luther wrote: BINGO.

I guess I'll have to go over .... longer than most posters have been here. God bless ya.
C-
Luther
Old Coot
Posts: 2275
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 8:16 am

Post by Luther »

I got a C- from TVO, which in reality is actually a pretty good grade. The link Felix put up in that post further up this thread is the sounds that emanate from my neighbors. Directly behind my house is now a group home for severely autistic young men. I think they told me that there are 3 young men there, probably around the age of 17-22 or so.

I saw a For Sale sign in the yard for quite awhile and then I saw a big U-Haul moving stuff in. At first I didn't notice that they had moved in a hot tub and put it on the patio which is about 50 feet from my fence and probably about 100 feet from my window. I started to hear really odd sounds and I went downstairs and looked out my window. I couldn't see too much as my bushes blocked my camcorder, but the sounds are the bone of contention with several families in my cul de sack.

NNNNNNGGGGGGGGGYYYYYYYYYY is a common sound from the Corky house. My other neighbor came over a few months ago and said, "Luth, ah....those sounds were hear all the time...is that goats?"

Bwahahaha. "No, James, it isn't. Just some happy tards playing in the new hot tub." James is the same guy who had the dog whistle box deal. Brody the shit ass yelping dog was not silenced by this whistle. It is better, but every now and then the fat bitch owner of Brody will let the dog out to bark at 0145 or 0545, whatever. I've been to doggie court about three times and her last fine was a hundred bucks. Anyway, James was sick and tired of Brody and now the goat sounding tards that he put a For Sale sign in his yard last month. Funny thing was he had a Open House on one weekend a few weeks ago. He was concerned that the goats would be NNNNNNNNGGGGGGGYYYYYY all day long and he wouldn't be able to sell his house. Luckily, not a peep from the goats. He sold the house in one day to a young couple with one kid. I saw the new owners measuring the rear deck of the house (James let them come over to get measurements etc. for some work scheduled in the future. I was out back doing some yard work and I heard the yelling/singing/grunting from goatboy. I looked over at the new owner and she had he hands on her hips and she's looking at the fence line that separates them from the goats. She can't see the hot tub due to the trees and bushes. I see her pointing in the direction of the goats and she's flapping her gums/chewing out her husband who is just standing there with his palms open as if he's saying, "How the fuck was I supposed to know we have autistic goats next to us?"

This is the same link as the one Felix put up. I recorded this from a downstairs bedroom/computer room. The video is about 2 minutes long, and the best part is about 2/3rds of way through it. The group home has since purchased a trampoline and hopefully by the end of the summer I will provide a video of the Flying Wallenda Tards. No, you don't get to see a picture of the elusive Luth. You do however, get to see my left hand parting the early 70's green colored blinds as I place the camcorder up against the screen.

Nice to see Levitra man (Mace) is still around. If he wants to bang my wife then have at it. Good luck man, its like trying to pry open a grilled cheese sandwich. Jay is still around, ...cool. Jay, do you own your own computer yet?

NNNNNGGGGGGGGYYYYYY

Rip City
User avatar
PSUFAN
dents with meaning
Posts: 18324
Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 10:42 pm
Location: BLITZBURGH

Post by PSUFAN »

trying to pry open a grilled cheese sandwich.
American or Limburger?
King Crimson wrote:anytime you have a smoke tunnel and it's not Judas Priest in the mid 80's....watch out.
mvscal wrote:France totally kicks ass.
User avatar
Dinsdale
Lord Google
Posts: 33414
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 5:30 pm
Location: Rip City

Post by Dinsdale »

Luther wrote:During the winter I did a lot of fishing for Steelhead. Spring broke and I tried to get some Chinook, but that turned out to be a bummer experience. There is just way too many people around the metro area and I wasn't cool with close-nit fishin'. I said, "Fook it," and opted to leave bank salmon fishing as it just got to be too crowded.
I went once with a friend on the Columbia, out of St Helens, aka the "Sea Lion Shooting Range." Slow, slow day. Even in the boat, it's usually fairly crowded.

Other than that, I don't do bring-your-own-rock fishing. Not down. I can wait a couplefew extra weeks for the Clack to crack 50 degrees, and nail them there. In my couplefew trips, it's been slow as hell. I usually like to make the steep hike down into the canyon below Rivermill, and go about a half mile downstream, almost to where I'm across from the upper boat ramp at McIver Park.

And it still sucked. Just wasn't a great year for springers, although there was a big late rush just in the last couple of weeks, so good opportunity may still be around, which upstream fishing is usually about done by this time, unless you're into catching the cordwood darkies. I'd think after all of those years of police work, you've probably had your fill of catching darkies. There's something anticlimactic about hauling in a huge soreback.

But, if the runs are good, this is about the time I've always found some "fishing-in-a-barrel" action for the steelies. And I still have little patience for anything even vaguely resembling combat action. While it would be cool to stay right in town, once it warms up, you're dealing with the throngs of rafters making the river their personal garbage can. Fishing is supposed to be peaceful, and if I have to kill some littering punk, it breaks that peace. So, it's still about going above the highest put-in below the dams, which is upper-McIver. If your bionic knees can take it, I'd suggest(and I rarely share my not-so-secret spots) going up to Rivermill, and hitting the spots below the deadline(which has moved from years past, due to a fish ladder improvements). The trail is a littler better than in the past, but it's still a pretty steep hike. And if you bag a 30 pound chinook, the hike out is even tougher. I actually hurt myself pretty good years ago, trying to haul my shit and a monster beast up the trail as it was getting dark. But I think I've knocked loose any of the rocks that were ready to give way, so you should be alright. Taking a spill down a cliff with no one around is always fresh. Phone kinda sorta works in there. Not a bad idea to bring a gun, just in case of methed-out rednecks.


Shit, being a southeastern suburby, you've got it made. I've got to drive from the westside. Then again, my bestest fishing bud lives in Milwaukie, so it ain't a big deal from there.


Or, just get away from it all, and go enjoy the leisurely fishing on the Nestucca, my favorite coastal stream this time of year.

It's a good time to be a U&L angler, if we could get the damn sea lions to stop eating all the fish. Might just have to go on a little Clack Attck over the holiday myself. Might even have to do the "drag a lure behind a raft" technique, if the temperature hit the ungodly-range, like they're talking about. Landing a steelie becomes much more challenging when you're laying on your back poo-faced drunk while simultaniously checking out the myriad hotties in the litte bikinis while burning a little at the same time. That takes serious multi-tasking skills.

One of these days, I'll have to tell the story from many years ago of my very intoxicated buddy laying out in the raft, and bolding exclaiming the he was going to catch the seagull that was flying about 40 feet above the raft. That was a one-in-a-million cast, for sure. The dozens and dozens of picnicing onlookers, mostly families with small children, weren't any where near as amused as the other two of us in the raft were. Matter of fact, they thought we were pretty bad people(can't say I blame them). "BIRD ON!" is a phrase that will live in infamy. We employed the long-line release method on that one... I'm sure the gull was fine. Then we boated a couple of steelies shortly thereafter, which weren't released unharmed. Good times.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
User avatar
Cuda
IKYABWAI
Posts: 10195
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 5:55 pm
Location: Your signature is too long

Post by Cuda »

PSUFAN wrote:
trying to pry open a grilled cheese sandwich.
American or Limburger?
I'll take "Cryptic BlondieBabe Resets" for $200, Alex
WacoFan wrote:Flying any airplane that you can hear the radio over the roaring radial engine is just ghey anyway.... Of course, Cirri are the Miata of airplanes..
Goober McTuber
World Renowned Last Word Whore
Posts: 25891
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:07 pm

Post by Goober McTuber »

Cuda wrote:
PSUFAN wrote:
trying to pry open a grilled cheese sandwich.
American or Limburger?
I'll take "Cryptic BlondieBabe Resets" for $200, Alex
Of course you will. It's pretty much all you've got.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass

Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
User avatar
Mister Bushice
Drinking all the beer Luther left behind
Posts: 9490
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:39 pm

Post by Mister Bushice »

Bwahahaha Luther. Karma has visited you personally for making the tard meter!

One thing you might try. Tard trainers are usually very concerned with their charges blending in to a neighborhood. They don't like to ruffle neighbors feathers, because they usually have a pretty good thing gong ( $1500- $4,000 per tard, depending on the level of need)

Go ring the doorbell of RJHouse. Ask Toddowen to stop the self stim behavior and get the house manager for you. Tell them the noise level in the backyard is becoming unbearable, and ask them to please work on reducing it. That should take care of some or most of it.

They usually reward tards for good behavior. Sounding like a rutting goat in the back yard is not good behavior.
Bushy probably has something workable/flashy/penis substitute type of car.
Spot on. 2007 Mustang :)

Image
The boy jacked off to some serious weird pictures.
True. Mostly Rorschach drawings. The one with the cows and the mulberry tree engaging in group sex on top of the Eiffel tower was one of my faves.
If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." —GWB Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000
Martyred wrote: Hang in there, Whitey. Smart people are on their way with dictionaries.
War Wagon wrote:being as how I've got "stupid" draped all over, I'm not really sure.
User avatar
Jay in Phoenix
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 3701
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 10:46 pm

Post by Jay in Phoenix »

Luther wrote:Jay is still around, ...cool. Jay, do you own your own computer yet?

Of course I do Luth, don't you remember? A couple years back, you gave me your old Geez-a-tron 3000.

Here's the photo of you in front of it just prior to the sale.

Image

Thanks again for the supreme hook-up.

Jay, in the computer age.
DiT
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 1154
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 9:03 am

Post by DiT »

Mace wrote:Luther's not dead??? Damn! Now I gotta cancel my flight to Portland and my plans to bang his widow....errr....wife.

Good to see you're still kickin', Luth.

Mace
I thought you were gonna say his corpse.
you know that's mine :twisted:
User avatar
RumpleForeskin
Jack Sprat
Posts: 2685
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2006 7:36 pm
Location: Bottom of a Bottle

Post by RumpleForeskin »

Luther,

Your latest chapter of "Tards Over the Fence" about the trampoline throwdown has now spread across the blue collar laborers in the Houston area. I forwarded that story to my brother and he has pretty much rehearsed it into a first person story as if he lives next to said tard goats. He said he has told the story about 3 times on 3 different job sites and the response he receives is "hurt your gut" laughter from his co-workers. After he tells the story, he leaves his audience with a disclosure about a retired cop in the U&L who really is living in "hell".

Rack you Luth.
“You may all go to hell and I will go to Texas”
MgoBlue-LightSpecial
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 21259
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:35 pm

Post by MgoBlue-LightSpecial »

RumpleForeskin wrote:Luther,

Your latest chapter of "Tards Over the Fence" about the trampoline throwdown has now spread across the blue collar laborers in the Houston area. I forwarded that story to my brother and he has pretty much rehearsed it into a first person story as if he lives next to said tard goats. He said he has told the story about 3 times on 3 different job sites and the response he receives is "hurt your gut" laughter from his co-workers. After he tells the story, he leaves his audience with a disclosure about a retired cop in the U&L who really is living in "hell".

Rack you Luth.
Link? I'm not going to that site.
User avatar
RumpleForeskin
Jack Sprat
Posts: 2685
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2006 7:36 pm
Location: Bottom of a Bottle

Post by RumpleForeskin »

Luth posted this on the nut a couple of months back. I hope you're okay with this, Luth.
I'm BBQ'ing some chicken on my Weber, and I'm on my deck drinking some whiskey. I then hear some loud grunts and a yell and I instinctively look over to the Autistic home and see two boys, in their teens, locked in a grappling clinch.

"Honey, you better come outside, we got tards fighting over the trampoline."

Mrs. Luth hurries outside just in time to see both boys throwing punches to beat the band. Windmill type of punches...where their heads are down and you swing wildly with everything you got. They are pushing and pulling each other, both holding on to the shirts etc. It isn't the typical street fight where people are yelling things like, "You c*cksucker, I'll kick your ass, f*ck me? ...no f*ck you" etc. All I'm hearing is, "NNNNNNGGGGGUUUUUHHHHNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG."

One of the boys lands a punch to the other guys ear, and he goes down....flat on his back. The other kid is now running laps around the trampoline, with both of his arms extended way back and he's yelling, well, the same sh*t as what I typed earlier. The kid on his back has his arms straight up but he's not saying anything. It is like the tard language of submission, the tard de sac equivalent of a UFC "tap out."

"The tard tapped out, hon."

Mrs. Luth just looked at me and said, "What?"

"Nevermind."

Then 3 staff members come running outside and there is a bevy of activity. I see Doug my neighbor watching from the backdoor of his garage. Doug sees me and yells (with a tinge of tarness in his voice) "CHHHHHEEEEESSSEEEEBURGER." Louise the old blister who lives next to Doug comes out on her deck to watch the festivities and I'm laughing holding my whiskey and a cigar.

The staff escort the fallen tard back into the house and the two remaining staffers stay to try to calm down the running/yelling winner. After they calm him down, they walk him back toward their rear door to the house. One of them looks up at me and I just shake my head.

I may call Hollywood and offer up a screenplay for a daytime soap opera about my life, and call it: THE EDGE OF TARDNESS.

Rip City
“You may all go to hell and I will go to Texas”
Raydah James
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 3820
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2005 1:52 am

Post by Raydah James »

The other kid is now running laps around the trampoline, with both of his arms extended way back and he's yelling, well, the same sh*t as what I typed earlier. The kid on his back has his arms straight up but he's not saying anything. It is like the tard language of submission, the tard de sac equivalent of a UFC "tap out."
:lol: :lol:
DiT
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 1154
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 9:03 am

Post by DiT »

HOLY SHIT!
lol
User avatar
ChargerMike
2007/2011 JFFL champ
Posts: 5647
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 6:26 pm
Location: So.Cal.

Post by ChargerMike »

Raaaack the av. Jay
Luther
Old Coot
Posts: 2275
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 8:16 am

Post by Luther »

To answer Bushy, yes I have talked to them man to man. I walked over and asked to speak to the tard person in charge of this asylum. I'm now talking to some Hispanic gal who says she'll relay my concerns to the boss. She even gives me his cell number and I call the guy up. He's pretty smooth and promises me that he will address the sound issue with his staff.

Most of the time it is fine around camp Luth. It is the weekends when it is the worst. Doug my neighbor says he heard the boys go to some type of school/training during the day and that is why it is quiet during the daytime hours. But in the evenings and weekends it is my life of TARDS GONE WILD.

I've called the manager about three times. The other day I yelled ala IndyClown (sup 'windshield note warning) out through my window, "We need some supervision at the hot tub." Sure enough, within a few minutes it was quiet. The other day Lil Luth said, "Dad, they need a supervisor again." Just as I'm ready to belch out my request did I hear good ol' Doug..."How about you fuckers buying a case of Shut Up?"

At poker with my buds I still get this same comment that I've heard for fucking years...that Luth is one big magnet. I attract any and all mentally challenged people. Crooks seemed to suddenly appear in front of me, or they pull onto the street right in front of my cruiser, during my cop days. I remember one day back in the late 90's...stopped a rolling stolen car in the morning and processed the guy for auto theft/booked his ass and I was back on the street at about noon. I call the sarge and request the rest of the day off and he says it was alright to vamp. As I'm driving back to the precinct I hear the broadcast of another car stolen and I write down the description. Boom...fucker pulled right in front of me. He wouldn't stop...and to make a long story short...the K9 bit his ass in the bushes after a lengthy foot chase. Back again to detectives with the guy and now it is time for me to get off (now 5PM). As I'm driving back to the precinct I spot this cranker from my district driving a fairly nice BMW. Putting 2 and 2 together I get 5. I put the plate into the car computer and shit, another stolen. 3 in one day. I got home about 9 that night. Mrs. Luth says, "I thought you were getting off early today."

So now I'm surrounded by Brody the yelping lab, and Team Tard. I saw our old realtor's business card on the kitchen counter yesterday. I guess Mrs. Luth is going to talk business with her. Yep...I told her the shit will follow me wherever we go.

No problem with the link to that story at the nut, Rumple. For shits and giggles I may do a short video when they have their summer trampoline party. The thing is right next to their fence. I envision Corky bouncing...going too high and coming down too hard...Corky losing control and is vaulted up and at an angle...impaling himself on the fence. NNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGYYYYYYMMMMMMMNNNNNNGGGGGYYYYY

I hadn't heard that video/link for a bit. He's yelling, " Jerry....Jerrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyy...." The other day he was yelling, "Cheeeeeeeseburrrrrrger....Hammmmmmmmmmmburgerrrrrrrrrrr."

Why the fuck me?

Rip City
User avatar
smackaholic
Walrus Team 6
Posts: 21748
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 2:46 pm
Location: upside it

Post by smackaholic »

good to see you're alive and uhhh, alive is good enough, I 'spose.

now, can somebody find fester?
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
Raydah James
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 3820
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2005 1:52 am

Post by Raydah James »

Luther wrote: Team Tard.

:lol:


RACK Luth for the Kaley vs. Paul update.


Although Kaley got over on Paul by the trampoline for round 1, im thinking Kaley might be double fisting the sky for round 2 if any kind of food theft is involved.
Post Reply