Roswell deathbed confession

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 3:26 pm

LK's in a sealed vault 2 miles underground. His only communication is via a secured line to BustyAsians.com, and transmissions have been brisk. diT set up his router, with particular attention to denying PINGs from the Tallahassee area.

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 3:26 pm

Wouldn't it take thousands of people to cover up something like Roswell?

How is that possible?:meds:

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 3:34 pm

Moving Sale wrote:Wouldn't it take thousands of people to cover up something like Roswell?

No, it would take thousands of people to contaminate OJ’s dinner order. Please pay attention.

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 4:15 pm

were they illegal aliens ??

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 4:18 pm

Wolfman wrote:were they illegal aliens ??

No. As with everything else about them, their cards were green.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Jul 02, 2007 4:19 pm

Wolfman wrote:were they illegal aliens ??

Watch it, you might bring Jack back out of retirement just to rack that one.

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 5:21 pm

I wouldn't want to be accused of being
xenophobic !

Ken · Post by **Ken** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 5:37 pm

Wolfman wrote:I wouldn't want to be accused of being
xenophobic !

Yeah, no shit. Like being accused of being a particularly shit-assed poster isn't already enough to handle.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Mon Jul 02, 2007 6:14 pm

Sudden Sam wrote:
Ken wrote:
Wolfman wrote:I wouldn't want to be accused of being
xenophobic !
Yeah, no shit. Like being accused of being a particularly shit-assed poster isn't already enough to handle.
Thought you were going all nice guy!

Martians are using their "alien mind probe" to dictate his posts.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 6:18 pm

Ken wrote:
Wolfman wrote:I wouldn't want to be accused of being
xenophobic !
Yeah, no shit. Like being accused of being a particularly shit-assed poster isn't already enough to handle.

At least it's not foreign to him.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 6:34 pm

Ken wrote:
Wolfman wrote:I wouldn't want to be accused of being
xenophobic !
Yeah, no shit. Like being accused of being a particularly shit-assed poster isn't already enough to handle.

You calling anyone else a shit-assed poster is like Dinsdale calling sirfindafold wordy.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 6:49 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
Ken wrote:
Wolfman wrote:I wouldn't want to be accused of being
xenophobic !
Yeah, no shit. Like being accused of being a particularly shit-assed poster isn't already enough to handle.
You calling anyone else a shit-assed poster is like Dinsdale calling sirfindafold wordy.

Unless you adhere to the "It takes one to know one" philosophy.

Luther · Post by **Luther** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 6:50 pm

Goober got a chuckle out of me on that one. Ken giving shit to Wolfy, who is probably one of the nicer posters around, even in the league of Tomas style of nice.

Ken, believe it or not but you came to mind during a scene in the movie, KNOCKED UP. I didn't really like the movie but there was a scene where Katherine Heigl is riding in this car with Seth Rogen. A red VW Jetta. I bust up in the theater and one lady even turned around and glared at me. Was that by chance your mom?

I remember the day you were so proud of your new car, the uploaded pic of a red Jetta. The pile on lasted for awhile. A chick car is what the masses called it. Hey, I even drove Lil Luth's car to the coast last week. Mrs. Luth and lil Luth went to Hawaii while the son and I went to the coast and then on to Southern Oregon area. lil Luth's car is a VW bug, believe it or not. I drove a Ken car to the coast and it was fun. Kind of gay, but still fun. I pulled into the market and I saw about 4 guys standing outside shooting the shit. As I got out I hung my head. I knew they were saying that I was driving a Ken car. Maybe it was the air freshener hanging down from the rear view mirror...a pineapple shaped air freshener. Maybe it was the nylon flower in the VW bud vase on the dash. In any event, I now know what you must go through every day.

Do you still drive that red Jetta?

Rip City

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:03 pm

Luther wrote:then on to Southern Oregon area.

You and the boy were taking banjo lessons?

-Rip City

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:11 pm

Luther wrote:I remember the day you were so proud of your new car, the uploaded pic of a red Jetta. The pile on lasted for awhile. A chick car is what the masses called it. Hey, I even drove Lil Luth's car to the coast last week. Mrs. Luth and lil Luth went to Hawaii while the son and I went to the coast and then on to Southern Oregon area. lil Luth's car is a VW bug, believe it or not. I drove a Ken car to the coast and it was fun. Kind of gay, but still fun.

Do you ridicule your pickle-puffing spawn for driving a rainbow colored cock magnet the way you do Kendra?

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:30 pm

There are things to realize

--Chambers Brothers

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:32 pm

I can see in his..uh..its soul that we can work together to bring tax-relief to the richest Americans...uh, earth people

Sure, I've been in the Roswell area at night...from time to time

Senator Byrd would like to weigh in....Senator Byrd?...

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:38 pm

I got cut off this morning on the way in to the office by a kid driving a pickup. As you leave the town I live in, the road merges down from two lanes to one in each direction. It gets pretty crowded in the morning heading out but mostly people merge in an orderly fashion like a deck of cards being shuffled. I was in the left hand lane and this ahole comes screaming up to within a few inches of the car in front of him and wouldn't let me in. Maybe it's because I'm now driving a white Hyundai Sonata and he felt real macho in his Toyota Tacoma ( :roll: ), but I would've ended up in the oncoming traffic if I didn't back off. The Sonata maybe doesn't look so masculine, but with the V6 at actually gets up and goes pretty damn well.

So, I laid on my roadrunner type horn for about a minute and made some uninspired finger gestures which he may or may not have seen in the rear view. About 1/4 mile later there's a left turn you can take that leads to a back road that will bypass about 3 miles of the worst congestion on the highway. Not everybody knows about this but I take it every morning. The problem is that the left turn light only lets five or at most six cars through at a time. I can always see how many cars are in line before I get there, so if there are too many I just make a right turn instead, go about 100 feet to get past the divider, make a u-turn and drive straight across at the next signal change. I usually leave at least a half dozen cars that were in front of me before waiting at the left turn light.

To get back to the story, this asshole kid is directly in front of me and I see him get in the left turn lane and the line is marginally too long. So I pull my u-turn trick and end up two cars in front of him on the back road route. As I was going through the intersection where he was still waiting I rolled down the window and just calmly pointed at him. Partial BODE me, at least. When we get to where we have to get back on the main highway (a right turn), which is now two lanes in each direction, he's still a couple of cars behind me and I just know he's itching to pull some other cool manuever. We both make the right turn and I'm weaving in and out in my usual semi-agressive mode of driving, and he's slowly getting closer. A couple miles down the road I'm in the right hand lane and I need to make another left at a light. At this point ahole is right behind me. As I move into the left lane he goes past and gets right in front of me. As I pull into the left turn lane, which is long - probably 150 yards - he see this and pulls in to the left turn lane in front of me.

At this point I'm starting to think that this fucker is really nuts. Maybe he wants to throw down or something - who knows. But really, as he went by he looked like a short little skin head Mexican kid and he gave me some kind of hand signal as he went by. The only thing I was really worried about was whether he was packing or something. So he gets in front of me like he's going to stay in front as I make the next left but just as he gets to the line of cars stopped at the light the pussy swerved back into the traffic lane, almost causing a multiple car accident.

I really had pretty much lost interest several miles back, though. I get road raged like just about everybody else, but it doesn't do any good to stay mad all day long, so I pretty much usually let these things slide. I think he got pretty pissed though when I showed him how really fucking stupid he is, by getting around him at the light, and he still had something to prove or something.

Like I said, I really don't let these things eat at me for more than a couple of minutes. But tomorrow I'm thinking of leaving the Sonata at home and driving the F250 Crew Cab to work. If I see that fucker he and his Tacoma will be taking a swim in the San Luis Rey River.

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 7:57 pm

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 7:21 am

Mikey wrote:I got cut off this morning on the way in to the office by a kid driving a pickup. .

I'll tell ya again just like I told you before--

we were driving out on route thirty-four;

we were coming back home after a night at the bars,

it was a beautiful night--there was nothing but stars!

About eleven miles from town,

wouldn't ya know it, my Chevy broke down...

I pulled it over and I locked all the doors,

we started walking, Frankie was sore,

and then we seen this big ol' light a comin' down from the sky...

I said to Frankie, "Is this just what it's like when you die?"

We started shaking, and everything glowed,

And then it landed, right there in the road--

It was a Great Big Fiery Wheel!!

It was flashin' and turnin' just like in the movies!

And I'd never thought they was real,

flyin' around in the silvery moonlight!

(and then they come out--but I didn't see a door,

they walk up to us, I think there was four)

Their eyes were golden, they were perfectly round,

they started talkin' but they didn't make a sound,

and then one asked me if I didn't want to come inside;

and Frankie said, "Hey, Zeke, I think they're going to give us a ride!"

And just like that--in the blink of an eye--

we were standing right there--inside!--and then it started to rise!!

and we were flying around..............................

The next thing I knew we were back on the ground,

I didn't know if I was lost or I's found!

My head was hurtin', I didn't know whether to

laugh or to cry;

and I saw Frankie, he was wavin' his hands at the sky!

(he went to preachin' a world full of woe,

and where he's gone to, I really don't know)

It's been a year now and I ain't been the same,

I walk around sometimes I don't know my name!

My baby left me, and she didn't even have to say why,

and I just can't hold a job no matter how hard I try!

And everybody thinks I'm insane--every time you know I try to explain--

It was a Great Big Fiery Wheel,

it was flashin' and turnin' just like in the movies,

and I never thought they was real,

flyin' around in the silvery moonlight!

WW

Mr. Belvedere · Post by **Mr. Belvedere** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 8:02 am

Come on, if this were a real affidavit do you think the guy would use emoticons in it? Get real guy.

MickBastard · Post by **MickBastard** » Wed Jul 11, 2007 2:54 pm

I'm amazed at everyone's short attention span! What happened to the scintillating alien debate??